Cry
havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.
--Shakespeare
I have debated long and hard rather or not to ever make
this known to any outside my family. Although I still question my decision,
I believe it was the correct one. I am sure that many of you may disagree, but
I ask with all my heart that you fairly consider what options were open to me,
and try to understand. The white streak in my hair was hard-earned, and quite
unwanted. I did not ask for this. It was thrust upon me for good or ill.
I cannot even begin to explain how alone I am.
No one can possibly understand what it means to be the Essence, the embodiment
of Neopia. I look like none other, and my appearance alone is enough to confuse,
surprise, and even cause revulsion in some people. I cannot ignore the stares
when I go out, just as I cannot deny the fact that I am not what I was every
time I look in the mirror. Then there is the power. I can tap into Neopia itself
and draw off of that, if need be. Not to mention I carry the Elemental Spear,
a weapon of vast destructive capabilities. How many people would use that power
for selfish reasons? I almost never use it myself. Once again, no one can understand
what it means to have that kind of power at beck and call, and to lay it aside
for fear of what could be done with it. Not even my pets understand. Terraile
and Aldrai can guess at what it means, but even then they truly do not know.
It is hard to be alone.
When rumours of war reached Neopia Central, I
wished desperately to be anyone else. Un-eairkagh merely bounced around gibbering
happily before running off to inspect his Battledome equipment. Terraile gave
me a furtive glance, then slunk off also to her room. I just went outside to
be by myself. I needed to think; there was too many rumours and not enough facts.
So apparently King Skarl had stolen the orb, and Lord Darigan was merely trying
to get it back. Both lands would die without it. So who was right? Who was lying?
Skarl or Darigan?
For once, I didn't know where to turn. It was
easier when things were in black and white, I knew who was evil and who was
good. I was on the good side, the Shadows were evil and it was my duty to destroy
them. But this was different. Pets were on both sides, either side could be
right. I returned to the house, where Un-eairkagh was prattling about joining
the Meridell side and sharpening his Ancient Eyrie Longsword. Terraile merely
avoided my gaze. I quickly informed MoonFall that I was going out and that she
was in charge.
I had decided to turn to the Faerie Queen for
help. She wasn't in the Hidden Tower for once, but I quickly found out that
she was within the castle holding council with representatives from all the
different faerie elements. Due to what I was, the faeries admitted me.
"Child_dragon," Fyora said formally.
The other assembled faeries turned to look at
me curiously. There were six representing fire, earth, water, air, dark, and
light. Along with those were the more specialised faeries, the Space Faerie,
the Cooking Pot Faerie, the Snow Faerie, the Negg Faerie, and a couple others.
Illusen was also there, which wasn't a surprise, as it was her home that was
under attack. Unhappily enough, Jhudora was also there, and she favoured me
with a withering stare when I entered. Obviously she knew who I was.
"Hello," I said awkwardly.
"So what do you make of this situation?" the
light faerie quickly asked.
I shrugged and wished I could just crawl into
a hole.
"She's a human," Jhudora said coldly, "how do
you expect her to know what to do?"
"And what do you mean by that?" I growled in
response.
"I mean that humans are often foolish and cannot
make complicated decisions about such things as war," she replied, "Essence
of Neopia or not, I imagine you have no idea what to do. Things aren't simple
this time, are they?"
I remained silent, but I could feel my claws
sliding out in an involuntary reflex..
"There is no simple way out, is there?" Jhudora
continued in a whisper, "You can't simply destroy something with your spear
this time and save the day. And it's killing you; not knowing where to turn,
who is right and who is wrong. Am I right?" she finished with a smirk.
I was shaking from fear and barely controlled
rage.
"That is enough," Fyora interrupted sharply.
"We could really use your help, child_dragon,"
the fire faerie picked up, ignoring Jhudora's taunts. "Your decision could greatly
affect the course of this war."
"Meridell needs you," Illusen implored, "I do
not wish to see my land destroyed, and I'm sure neither do you."
"She doesn't know, that's just the thing!" Jhudora
laughed, ignoring a warning stare from Fyora.
"Who the heck invited you? Or did you invite
yourself to this meeting?" I snapped, allowing my temper to finally break, "I'm
sure it is the latter, because I cannot fathom why anyone would willingly listen
to your opinions on anything."
"At least I have an opinion," she said in return.
"Actually, I do know what I am doing. I am fighting
for Meridell."
There was silence, and I caught a glimpse of
anguish in Fyora's eyes, quickly concealed.
"You go from indecision to certainty in the space
of a couple minutes," Jhudora stated, "And you are supposed to be the guardian
of Neopia. We are worse off than I expected."
I walked up to her and stared her in the eyes.
"You get in my way, try to stop me, or interfere
- in any way - and I will destroy you," I said softly, "You will pay dearly,
I promise that."
"I never thought you violent," she replied.
"Then you obviously don't know me as well as
you think."
I stalked out of the room without a backwards
glance.
I had a visitor on my way home. As I flew towards
my house, a dark faerie appeared, gliding along besides me.
"She wasn't invited, she just showed up," the
faerie said in an apologetic tone of voice.
"I don't care."
"I know you don't like us dark faeries, but I
assure you, not all of us share her opinions."
"Leave me alone."
"Please, return to the council. Jhudora has left,
and Fyora greatly desires to speak to you in private."
"I said: leave me alone."
With an exasperated sigh, the dark faerie vanished,
and I continued on home.
I announced that I was home and fighting for
Meridell, then retired to the peace of my room. Acting on impulse, I opened
the window and climbed up onto the roof. Finding a perch near the chimney, I
buried my head in my arms and cried. I had acted out of haste and rage, and
now I was not so sure I had made the right decision. True, all I had heard pointed
towards Darigan being the evil one in the conflict, but Skarl was not totally
blameless either. And besides, that wasn't really the issue at stake here. Regardless
of whose side I was on, I would be fighting pets. I had once promised myself
never to harm a pet, even to protect myself. But this was war. And I was the
guardian of Neopia. Once again, the fact that I would be fighting pets--who
regardless of side were part of Neopia--kept coming back to haunt me. Besides,
I had acted out of anger to being baited by Jhudora. She had done it so perfectly,
fueling my rage until I acted without thinking, made a critical decision on
pure emotion. I had fallen for her trap, and it was obvious that she had nothing
but evil intentions. So what did that make my actions, now that I had played
right into her hands?
To be continued... | 
