Oracle12 growled and gnashed her teeth. How dare her
ally torment her almost as cruelly as her foe?! She'd show them...she'd show
them both! oracle12 took a deep breath and tensed her muscles in preparation
for the coming battle. She reached out and took up her weapon. It was...
"The pen!" she cried, holding it aloft. "Mightier
than the sword and just as sharp. Behold my weapon of choice! I am oracle12,
Neopet owner, slayer of hypocrites, and ranter of...rants."
Murrlee applauded appreciatively. "You really
had me there, Mom, up until the ranting bit. You might want to look that one
up in the thesaurus."
oracle12 sighed and lowered her pen-wielding
arm. "Yes, I think I'd better. My muse simply refuses to cooperate with me today.
Writer's block threatens to overtake me."
"Mmm. Well, I guess you'll just have to try bargaining
with her. Can I have a snack?"
But alas, oracle12's muse was not willing to
aid her devoted servant. So oracle12 sat brooding in front of her computer screen
for the rest of the day. Murrlee deduced it was best to leave her alone; oracle12
had been known to get moody and snap at those who interrupted her. The red Kougra
padded softly out of the room and warned her brother and sisters not to disturb
their owner.
"What our dear mother needs," Thermal4 said thoughtfully.
"Is inspiration. But if her muse is unwilling to provide it, we must do so."
"Engh?" the others stared blankly at the red
Eyrie.
"I mean, let's go find something to inspire Mom!"
"Oh! Good idea!" the girls chorused.
Murrlee pranced out the door, followed by Thermal4
swooping out above Chloe435_2000 hopping in front of Vivizy the Ixi, who always
seemed to be the caboose. Neopians strolling down the street were met with the
odd spectacle of three red pets and one green (Chloe) marching along with a
purpose toward the Haunted Woods.
"Remind me why we have to go to the Haunted Woods?"
Chloe muttered nervously.
Thermal4 turned and gave the green Zafara an
exasperated look. "Because, dear sister, all stories need a good antagonist.
What better place to find a bad guy than a haunted forest?"
"Gee, isn't that stereotypical? It's not right
to assume that just because a place has a bad reputation, it is filled with
villains and thieves."
The others stared at normally silent Vivizy.
On the rare occasion she did speak, the red Ixi always said something wise and
thought provoking. This irritated Thermal, as he was usually the "smart one."
"Yes, well, we know of ONE villain for certain
who lives there."
Chloe recoiled in horror. "You don't mean-''
Balthazar was out hunting again. His eyes were
filled with a slightly crazed light, his teeth were bared, his claws clenched,
and he looked just plain mean and scary. But Elei the Air Faerie was blissfully
unaware of his menacing presence.
It was a classic scene: the unsuspecting victim
merrily going about their business, the stalker slowly sneaking up behind. Elei
was dancing on the air currents, singing a joyful tune. Her song carried on
the wind and she laughed with sheer joy of living. Balthazar gave away his presence
by gagging at the cute happiness of it all. Elei whirled in the middle of a
dance step and screamed. But Balthazar's reflexes were quick, and the net came
crashing down.
On a happier note, our heroes were clear on the
other side of the Haunted Woods, away from this sad event. Murrlee was even
singing a commercial jingle for Calcium Supplement:
"Calcium, calcium, it's so neat!
Helps you have healthy hands and feet!
Young pets must grow big and strong
And eat Calcium Supplement all day long
--To prevent osteoporosis later in life, and/or the wearing away of the enamel
of the teeth or brittle bones that would be painful and send you to the Healing
Springs and the Water Faerie will give you a disapproving look and heal you
and you'll have learned your lesson the hard way but that's what you get for
not eating enough
Calcium...Supple...meeeeeennnttt!"
Chloe shook her head. "I never liked that song."
Thermal4's ears suddenly stood on end. "Quiet,
you two! Did you hear that?"
"No. 'Calcium, calcium-'" Thermal4 clapped a
paw over his sister's mouth.
"Seriously! I think something's coming this way!"
A strange blue light shone faintly in the trees
before them. It grew slightly brighter as it approached. A soft hum accompanied
the glow, an ominous and strangely musical sound. The four pets huddled together
in terror and watched helplessly as the light made its way inexorably toward
them.
"It's getting closer," Thermal4 moaned.
"It's getting brighter," Chloe gasped.
"It's moving faster," Murrlee cried.
"It's - a faerie!" Vivizy laughed.
Indeed, when the odd light reached them, it became
clear that it was a faerie. A perplexed Air Faerie, to be exact. This faerie
regarded the pets and burst into frantic tears.
"Please," she sobbed. "You have to help me find
my sister! She's lost!"
"Lost?" Thermal4 struck a heroic pose. "Never
fear, Miss! We'll find your missing sibling and return her safely to your side."
Secretly, Thermal4 was hoping to be rewarded with an Intelligence Blessing.
He was sure that the faeries could make him the smartest pet in Neopia, a title
he had long wished to hold.
"You will?" the faerie fluttered down and landed
on Chloe's ear. "Thanks so much!"
"May I ask what brought two happy Air Faeries
to such a gloomy and depressing place as this?" Chloe asked the one sitting
on her big Zafara ear.
"We thought this place could used some lightening
up, but we got separated. Elei wasn't worried, though, and didn't bother to
look for me. She went off dancing somewhere, but I've searched and searched
and I can't find her. I'm afraid something terrible may have happened to her."
"Never fear! We'll track her down for you! Come
on, sisters; let us begin the search!" Thermal4 marched off boldly without another
word. The girls looked at each other and sighed, bounding after him.
Elei had been transferred from the net to a tightly
sealed jar. Balthazar had pinched her wings together as calmly as an entomologist
(one who studies insects) and dropped her into the jar. Elei had fluttered her
dazed wings feebly as she watched her captor sealed the lid of the jar and poke
a few careless air holes into the lid. She quailed in fear as the leering face
of Balthazar peered into the jar one last time before depositing it in his leather
satchel.
"Ooooohhhh...
we're going on a faerie hunt
But for good-not
ill!-you see
We must recover
the sister of
This Air Faerieeeeeee
We'll traipse about
these Haunted Woods
Free of misery
Oh! We're going on a faerie hunt
Won't you come
with me?"
Thermal4 rolled his eyes at Murrlee. "Did you
make that up just now?"
"Yup!" the Kougra grinned.
"I never would have guessed."
Chloe and Vivizy exchanged glances. Murrlee and
Thermal4 had been around the longest, and were prone to taunt one another...incessantly.
"Up ahead! It's a clearing! The perfect place
for Elei to dance." Elei's sister pointed excitedly (she was still perched on
Chloe's ear).
Thermal4 scrambled ahead, eager to be the hero.
He reached the clearing and began slinking along the ground looking for clues.
Murrlee soon followed behind and composed a detective song in her head while
she searched the trees for hidden faeries. Chloe stood awkwardly in the middle
of the clearing so her passenger could see everything while Vivizy picked her
way delicately through the bushes.
After several minutes of fruitless searching
(excepting a Tigersquash Murrlee munched on as a snack), it was Vivizy who finally
found their lead. The red Ixi had discovered a trail of large paw prints in
the muddy soil near the bushes. They could only belong to one Neopet-
Balthazar gleefully made his way back to his
cabin hidden in the heart of the forest. He hadn't even needed to venture into
the faeries' kingdom today! Assuming his luck would remain favourable all day,
he was returning to get more jars.
Elei couldn't see what was going on. The satchel
was dark and carried the unpleasant smell of wet leather. It must have been
a strong smell to carry through the few scattered air holes in the top of the
jar. What little air reached Elei was stale and odorous. She was beginning to
feel light-headed from this lack of clean oxygen, and slumped against the side
of the jar. The little Air Faerie moaned and curled up, wrapping her wings around
herself. It was so dark, and she was so accustomed to being near the sun, among
the clouds. If she didn't see some light soon, she didn't know what she'd do.
Thermal4 followed the footprints like a bloodhound,
intent on tracking down Elei's abductor. He may have been too intent; for he
never stopped to consider what little damage a small red Eyrie could do to a
huge blue Lupe. Chloe435_2000 and Vivizy followed nervously behind, the Air
Faerie still keeping watch from atop Chloe's ear. Murrlee was the only one who
seemed at ease, still making up a song in her head.
Vivizy halted, her petite ears standing straight
up.
"Listen!"
Chloe tried in vain to listen without jostling
the faerie with her ear movement.
"What?"
"Shhh!"
Thermal4 turned and frowned at his sisters. "What
is it?"
"Shhh!"
"What? Why? Don't you 'shhh' me!"
"Shhh!"
"ere's-thay omething-say up-ay ahead-ay," Murrlee
muttered.
"What's with the Pig Latin? Something up ahead?
Why didn't you say so?"
"ot-Nay omething-say. omeone-Say."
"What? Who"
"SHH!"
But it was too late for Thermal4 to be quiet.
The omeone-say up ahead had heard his pursuers talking and had turned to face
them.
"Balthazar!" everyone cried in horror.
Balthazar laughed an evil lupine laugh.
"What's this?" he crowed. "More unwelcome visitors
in my neck of the woods? I might have to teach you a lesson."
"Eep!" squeaked Chloe.
"Oh!" moaned Vivizy.
"Gasp!" gasped Murrlee.
"More visitors? That implies that you've had
numerous trespassers. Who were they? Reporters from The Neopian Times? They've
really been giving you a lot of unwanted publicity lately. You should get a
security system installed, or acquire a good lawyer."
The girls groaned at Themal4's clueless questioning.
Balthazar looked confused for a moment, then resumed his maniacal laughter.
"MUAHAHAHA!" he laughed maniacally. "I'll squash
you four little pets like Buzzes!"
"Oh, no!" cried Chloe.
"Ew!" squealed Vivizy.
"Help!" yelled Murrlee.
"You squash Buzzes? Fascinating. Tell me, do
you think this is the result of suppressed anger that had been lying dormant
for years due to a traumatic childhood experience?"
"I don't think it's been lying dormant, Thermal!"
Murrlee hissed.
But Balthazar looked confused again, trying to
puzzle out Thermal4's cryptic words.
"Thermal! Quick! Say something else confusing!"
Vivizy had hatched another brilliant idea.
"What? Not everything I say is confusing! How
dare you degrade me in this manner by jumping to unjust conclusions about the
way in which I speak! It is no fault of mine that I am a genius! You'd be this
smart too if you just read once in a while!"
Thermal4 rambled on and on, using his full advanced
vocabulary. Everything he said was ridiculously and unnecessarily complicated.
Balthazar blinked stupidly and clutched his head as though he was experiencing
an unpleasant migraine.
"Stop it!" he growled. "Stop it! What are you
talking about? Gah! What are you saying? Ah! My brain hurts!"
The vicious Lupe howled and clawed at his ears
as though he could rip his ailing gray matter out through them. A stinky leather
satchel fell from his claw and a single jar rolled out of it. Vivizy snatched
it up and motioned for the others to quickly follow her out of the clearing.
"--and another thing! If my intelligence intimidates
you so much, why don't you try to match me in a game of wits, eh? I suggest
chess. I bet I could beat you a hundred times over! A hundred TIMES a hundred,
which is ten thousand, by the way. I hope you--''
Murrlee dashed in and grabbed Thermal4 by the
tail, yanking him to safety before Balthazar gave up trying to understand him
and tore him to shreds.
Back on the edge of the Haunted Woods, the pets
and the faeries parted ways. Thermal4 was not blessed with intelligence, but
the siblings received a promise that if ever they were in need, they could call
on Elei and her sister, Solahr. Thermal4 slouched all the way home, where oracle12
greeted them in the doorway. She was holding her pen like a stake ready to thrust
into Count von Roo's heart.
"That's it! I quit! I'll never come up with a
good story! I'll never get anything published! I'M OUT OF IDEAS!"
Murrlee smiled at her owner and looked at her
siblings. "We have a story to tell you, Mom, that might just put your muse our
of business."
The End
Please note that it's not Thermal4's fault if a) you can't understand
him, b) Balthazar ends up installing a security system or acquires a good
lawyer, or c) you hated this story. Thank you and have a nice day! | 
