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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 24th day of Gathering, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 58 > Articles > The Evil Neopet Interviews: Ghost Lupe

The Evil Neopet Interviews: Ghost Lupe

by bluescorchio104

HAUNTED WOODS - After being scared out of my wits for the billionth time (to be truthful, it was more like the eleventh) by the Ghost Lupe, while doing my weekly shopping at the Health Food store, I decided that enough was enough, and I immediately started making plans for a confrontation. I was also intrigued by what motivated him to do such things. The very next day, I prepared to go Ghost Lupe hunting. This, of course, involved packing my slightly tattered Green Backpack full of snacks, candy, Ghost Lupe bait and various other items. Although sceptical about the potential damage that could be inflicted by a ghost, I still asked my Scorchio, Bluefire104, to strap on some light armour and bring some mild deterrents in case of minor conflict. All set, I boldly set off down the street with Bluefire104 at my side, before realising I had not the slightest clue where the Ghost Lupe might currently be. Nevertheless, I continued walking, in the hope of seeing the Ghost Lupe by chance. However, by lunchtime, I had already searched through Neopia Central twice, and not turned up a single clue.

I was hungry, weary and tired, not to mention that all my candy had melted into sugary blobs and the Kau Kau Farm Milk I had brought was starting to go off. I sat myself down on a park bench, and munched thoughtfully on an Organic Banana, while trying to think up a plan. Bluefire104, who wasn't even remotely tired (on account of his top physical fitness), nevertheless parked himself right next to me on the bench, happily chewing on a Red Apple taken from my backpack. After pondering for a while (and chomping my way through two Organic Bananas, a Purplum and a Cheesy Cod and Tofu Burger) I decided that maybe I would be better off searching in the Haunted Woods, the most ghost/ghoul/monster/vampire infested place in all of Neopia. After a short flight (courtesy of Bluefire104's wings) we soon arrived at the Haunted Woods. Even though we diligently searched all day, we didn't find a single trace of Ghost Lupe until sunset, when I spotted a faint green glow not too far away. Quickly, I laid down the bait (a Chia Plushie painted with a Glowing Paintbrush) in the centre of the clearing, and dived into some nearby scraggly bushes, while Bluefire104 flew up into a tall, withered tree. Hoping that the Ghost Lupe would think that the bait was a Ghost Chia, and try to hunt it, I watched and waited.

Eventually, I spotted the green incandescent glow coming near and nearer, until I could make out the outline of the Ghost Lupe. Suppressing a yell of triumph, I observed as the Ghost Lupe stealthily stalked the Chia Plushie, and then pounced upon it, seizing it within his jaws and shaking it madly, like a Grarrl with a Pork Steak. After about thirty seconds of this brutal treatment, however, some of the Chia Plushie's seams began to be shaken loose, and the cotton stuffing inside began falling out. The Ghost Lupe soon realised his mistake, and began to grumpily stomp off. Immediately, I jumped out from behind the bush, yelling "Wait a minute! I want to talk!" Instantly, the Ghost Lupe turned, and bared his teeth in a nasty snarl. I realised that maybe I had just made a bad mistake, and looked up the tree where Bluefire104 was concealed. However, to my dismay, Bluefire104 appeared to be sleeping soundly (he never could resist a nap), and I realised he wasn't going to be much help. I quickly whipped around, and realised the Ghost Lupe was approaching, with his teeth still bared.

Thinking quickly, I swiftly yelled, "I just want to talk! I'm your, ummm, biggest fan! That's right, I'm your biggest fan!"

At this statement, the Ghost Lupe stopped his advance and his nasty snarl, and raised his ghostly eyebrows in surprise. "Really?" he questioned, in a startled, eerie voice.

"Yep. No doubt about it," I replied. "Would you mind answering some of my questions?"

The Ghost Lupe, obviously flattered, replied, "Agreed".

Bluescorchio104: Great! Anyway, Mr. Ghost Lupe, I'd like to know, do you have any plans for world domination?

Ghost Lupe: That's an unusual question, but no, I don't.

Bluescorchio104: That's a relief. I thought that you might go on a bloodthirsty rampage or enslave all of Neopia or something. (Chuckles nervously)

Ghost Lupe: (Eyes turn a blood-red colour) But I will harm anyone who gets in my way. One question for you: Are you alone? If you aren't, I might get very angry.

Bluescorchio104: (eyes the tree where Bluefire104 is sleeping) Of course I am. I am completely alone, and I am definitely not accompanied by a blue Scorchio currently hiding in a tree.

Ghost Lupe: Good.

Bluescorchio104: Anyway, I believe your bride was stolen from you by the natives of Mystery Island? Is that correct?

Ghost Lupe: That's correct. (Goes slightly teary-eyed) My dear Lavinia was taken from me.

Bluescorchio104: How sad.

Ghost Lupe: But, I shall have revenge, upon the natives and anyone on their side. Including those foul Mystery Island painted Neopets.

Bluescorchio104: You're going to take revenge on them just because they're painted with a Mystery Island Paintbrush?

Ghost Lupe: Of course. (Bares teeth) They're bound to be in league with the rogues who abducted my dear Lavinia.

Bluescorchio104: Ummm, sure. I'm not exactly convinced that just because some Neopets look tropical they deserve to be punished. Isn't that discrimination or something?

Ghost Lupe: No it isn't. I must have my revenge. One day, they'll all be sorry that they were ever born!

Bluescorchio104: Hey, when exactly did this bride-stealing incident occur?

Ghost Lupe: I'd say around 134 BN.

Bluescorchio104: What! That means the guilty natives would probably be dead by now!

Ghost Lupe: So? I'll take revenge on their descendants!

Bluescorchio104: (rolls eyes) Whatever. Anyway, why do you like to scare the pants off honest, innocent, not-painted-with-a-Mystery Island-Paintbrush, prone-to-having-pants-scared-off Neopians?

Ghost Lupe: Aha. That's where you're wrong. Anyone could be in league with the natives. (Looks around frantically, with a paranoid gleam in his eyes) Anyone, I tell you! And that's why I must punish them.

Bluescorchio104: I'd like to know, what's it like being a ghost?

Ghost Lupe: I am mortified that you would so rudely ask such a question.

Bluescorchio104: Well, what's it like? Come on, tell me!

Ghost Lupe: I refuse to answer such a pathetic plea.

Bluescorchio104: Please, please, pleeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee?

Ghost Lupe: How pitiful!

Bluescorchio104: Please with an Organic Cherry on top? With Chocolate Ice Cream, sprinkles, and even a side of Strawberry Jelly Chia?

Ghost Lupe: Well, fine. If you just stop your whinging and whining.

Bluescorchio104: Yippee!

Ghost Lupe: It's no different than being alive, except for the fact that Neopians run away whenever they see me.

Bluescorchio104: Is that all? I was kind of expecting something more.

Ghost Lupe: What is there to expect?

Bluescorchio104: Oh well. What were you like before you, um, snuffed it?

Ghost Lupe: Excuse me? What is this, "snuffed it"?

Bluescorchio104: I meant, what were you like before you, well, died?

Ghost Lupe: Oh. I was a Lupe Knight, the best of the best. I was courageous, and admired by Neopians far and wide.

Bluescorchio104: Wow, I didn't know that you were so..(Bluefire104 falls out of tree with a loud thump) Uh oh.

Ghost Lupe: What? You did have a companion! You are an impostor! Suffer my vengeful wrath!

Bluescorchio104: This cannot be good. Bluefire104, run!

Ghost Lupe: Arrrgggghhhh!!!!

At this point, Bluefire104, fully woken from his snooze, grabbed me with his claws and soared up and away. The Ghost Lupe floated after us, hurling dire threats and curses, as well as wild allegations that we were working for the natives of Mystery Island. Buefire104 looked back and blew a long stream fire directly at the Ghost Lupe, but he seemed unaffected. That was when I realised: a ghost can't die! Thinking quickly (as always), I grabbed a Basic Dryer from my Green Backpack, and swivelled around, facing the Ghost Lupe. As he floated within range, I fired up the Basic Dryer, literally blowing the Ghost Lupe away. As he wafted away, he was carried higher and further away by a strong thermal gust.

When we got home, I began lecturing Bluefire104 on the importance of not falling asleep, and was already an hour and a half into the speech before I realised that Bluefire104 had dozed off. Wondering why I didn't deserve an insomniac Neopet, I let Bluefire104 sleep on the Blue and Orange Rug, and covered him gently with a blanket.

Note: Wouldn't you know it, the very next week I was once scared out of my wits by the Ghost Lupe while on a shopping trip.

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