I WOKE UP quite suddenly, unsure why I had awakened. It wasn't that late...
was it? The smell of bacon omelette drifted up to me, and I shrugged, and started
downstairs. Obviously my family was already awake.
"Aaaaah-omph!" What in Neopia... Half way down
the stairs, I paused to peer out a window. A red Jubjub dashed past our NeoHome,
in hot pursuit of something cylindrical and spotted. As I watched, it fell head
over heels, and tumbled over a ridge. The Jubjub, that is; the strange object
had already bounced out of my line of sight.
I winced, watching the Jubjub pick itself up,
and blinked, shaking my head to clear it. But when I looked back, the Jubjub
was gone. Maybe I hadn't been fully awake, and had only imagined it. In any
case, stranger things had happened... Our neighbourhood, Terror Mountain, was
especially famous for the regularity at which unusual events occurred.
The smell of bacon increased, mingling not unpleasantly
with the scent of the Chia treats that were FruitLoupe's preferred breakfast.
I shrugged, and promptly forgot all about the strange scene. Food was more important
now, and -
"Amyli, since Stel's sleeping in, can I have
the rest of the omelette?" my brother inquired, loudly enough to be heard from
the stairwell. Glaring - how dare he! - I galloped down to the kitchen, taking
the stairs five at a time.
Amyli, our owner, glanced up from the stove
as I dashed in and skidded across the slippery stone floor. "Don't run in the
house, Stelmariah. I just washed the floor."
I nursed a stubbed silver paw, scrambling awkwardly
to my seat. "Yeah, thanks, I never would have guessed."
FruitLoupe, currently a striped Aisha, smirked
softly. "That's why she told you."
"I think I'm going to ignore that," I told him
icily. "And don't even think about eating the last of the food - I need more
to eat than you, anyway!"
Emmnei looked up from her bowl of juppie yoghourt,
laughing. "I think your book on ways to wake a Kougra was correct, FruitLoupe..."
I was about to snarl something in reply, but she held up an electric-marked
hoof, cutting me off. "Come on, Stel, he didn't mean it. And I know you're never
in a good mood 'til you've really woken up, anyway." She pushed a bowl of fruit
at me. "Have something to eat."
"Not desert food - you know I hate it."
She took it back, shrugging peaceably. "I'll
never understand you carnivores."
A silver and blue streak zipped over the table,
effectively interrupting what little conversation was going on anyway. Emmnei,
FruitLoupe and I glanced at each other and groaned simultaneously: "Allimeow!"
The little Meerca looked up. "Oh, good morning,
Stel." She brandished a paper in the air. "Look, everyone, I've got the Times!"
FruitLoupe sighed gustily. "Oh, Alli, won't
you ever calm down? What's it matter? We get it every week!"
Allimeow looked offended. "You don't understand.
I got published!" She sat cross-legged in the air, wings beating rapidly, opened
the paper, and began to read aloud.
"That's great, Alli," Amyli complimented, coming
over to the table. She plunked a plate of omelette down in front of me, and
went to read over Allimeow's shoulder.
But I was staring at the front page, completely
oblivious to the rapidly-cooling food before me. "Alli, can I have the paper?
C'mon, you know what your story says - you wrote it!"
She frowned slightly, not looking up, but tossed
me the first few pages.
I scanned down the list of headlines, eyes stopping
on the blurb that had caught my gaze. A picture of several round, spotted and
swirled cylinders, and below them, the caption:
NEW GAME - Yes, possibly the most exciting
thing that has ever happened on Neopets has just happened - Cheeseroller
has been released!!! It's a great action-packed game incorporating the commerce
aspect of purchasing cheese from a shop combined with the excitement of rolling
the cheese at high speeds down a hill!
"Excitement of rolling a cheese at high speeds
down a hill?" FruitLoupe read aloud, standing behind me. "Boy, some people will
do anything for publicity." He eyed my untouched breakfast hungrily. "Say, you
want that?"
I shook my head briefly, and he grabbed it with
a mumbled 'thanks'. Still engrossed with the article, I remembered the strange
sight that had caught my eye that morning. "Cheeseroller?"
I only realised I had wondered this aloud when
I looked up to see Amyli watching me intently. "Stel, are you feeling okay?"
"Yes. Fine. D'you mind if I go out for the morning?"
She awarded me a curious stare, but did not
comment. "Sure, you can go. Where are you headed?"
"Uh..." The truth was that I wanted to find
out more about this odd new game, but had no idea where to start. "Um... I'll
be around." I had already started for the door, grabbing Chaithakhos, my Khnum,
on my way out. He opened one eye, a little indignant. "Rrrrrrrrrp."
"Oh, stop complaining, this'll be fun."
"Awrrrrrrora. Rrrfff."
"How would you know? You didn't come with me
last time."
"Prrrrfrr?"
"Fine, go to sleep. You'll be missing out."
His golden gaze was unconvinced; moments later,
he was snoring lightly. I shrugged, and tucked him into my collar.
"Have fun!" Amyli called, as the door banged
shut behind us.
Now... where to go? I reasoned that the article
had mentioned 'the thrill of rolling cheese down a hill', although I wasn't
sure if I agreed. But in order to roll something down... you had to go up!
Hoping that this was indeed the right 'hill',
I headed up the mountain.
A small crowd of people caught my eye as I neared
the top of Terror Mountain. I stepped into line, nodded conversationally to
a blue Chia Blue? Wait, he was blue with cold. Too bad that the majority of
the pets gathered on the mountain top didn't have a thick coat like mine...
"Uh, excuse me, where did you get the cheese?"
He turned, spotted me, and sighed, the temperature
obviously not improving his temper. "From the cheese store. Duh."
"There's a store? Where? You mean that you actually
have to pay for the... ahem, privilege of rolling cheese down hills?"
"Well, yeah, they gotta make money..."
"Oh." News to me. Most Neopian games, other
than gambling, could be played for free. "So... why do you want to give them
money so that you can stand up here in the bitter cold waiting to roll down
a mountain with a piece of cheese?"
"Because if it takes me less than a minute,
I get to keep the cheese, of course!" He stared at me as if I was crazy.
I eyed his own cheese, a sticky, mustard-coated
thing, cut in a vague circular approximation, with considerable distaste. "Uh...
whatever."
He did not reply, but instead launched himself
down the hill, bouncing off rocks and bumping into a low tree branch. I winced
in sympathy, no longer feeling so cheerful about the prospect of testing the
game myself.
Someone behind me nudged me gently, and I turned
to see a Blumaroo. "Excuse me, but if you're not going, may I?"
"Uh... sure." Looking back, I found that a line
was beginning to form behind me. Apologising profusely, I backed away from the
edge of the mountain.
As I did so, I noticed the slow trickle of people
headed up the mountain, rolling cheeses of every size and description before
them. The cheese shop must be somewhere down the mountain...
Half an hour later, I arrived at the bottom
of Terror Mountain, and looked around, hoping that someone could give me further
directions. As if the faeries were watching over me, a voice called out at that
moment: "Cheese! Best quality cheese! Buy yours today so you to can play Cheeseroller,
the greatest new craze that's sweeping Neopia!"
Turning, I followed the sounds to a small stand
at the base of the mountain. A blue Techo attired in russet leather cut in an
odd style stood watch over his wares; as I approached, he inquired, "Which cheese
do you wish to purchase?" His accent was odd; I could not identify it as being
typical of any of the worlds of Neopia.
"Do you have a list?"
He didn't seem to understand me; perhaps the
"Centralese" that most Neopians spoke was not his first language.
"Normally, madam, yes. Today the van broke down."
Madam? Where was he from, anyway? "Well, what
about that one?" I pointed to a pale pink cylinder.
"Yes, you mean the alkenore cheese?"
"Alkenore..." I took a step back, revolted.
Imagine making cheese from a petpet! Chaithakos wriggled drowsily on my back,
and I had to quiet him, although I understood his distress.
"Erm... what about the swirly one?"
He tilted his head. "Come again?"
"That one, in the corner."
"You must mean Triple Mustard Cheese! Do you
want to buy some for 450 NP?"
I hadn't bargained on the prices being so high.
"Uh... I'll be back in a bit, OK?"
Several games of Cliffhanger later, I returned
to the cheese shop, and deposited four hundred fifty Neopoints on the counter.
The Techo shopkeeper smirked, cut off a slab of cheese, wrapped it in brown
paper, and handed it to me.
I rolled it back up the mountain, puffing slightly
and wondering why I had to have picked such a heavy cheese. At least it would
be downhill when I had to make the dreaded descent... Chaithakhos detached himself
from my collar and helped me push, and together we reached the top of the mountain.
By now, the sun was blazing above us, and the
cheese was becoming sticky. I sighed, and got into the now-much-longer line.
However, my turn came far too quickly. I gazed
over the edge of the mountain, and instantly regretted it. It was a long way
down - far too long.
"Three... Two... One..." Someone called, and
I thought half-heartedly about backing away from all this. I didn't have to
do this...
But just as I was about to leave, someone shouted
"Go!" and Chaithakhos leapt onto the cheese, propelling it down the hill.
"Chai!" I leapt after him, clearing several
rocks in one great bound. Catching up with my Khnum and the cheese, I tried
to hold it steady... but it bounced off a rock, and lay still. I glared, half
at the sticky cheese, half at Chaithakhos, who had caused my predicament. He
shrunk away, climbed off, and we managed to get it rolling once more.
I pushed the cheese faster, loping along behind
it, and ducking to avoid a low branch. Hey, maybe this wasn't so bad, after
all...
I had missed the branch, but in my elation,
I totally forgot about a huge protruding rock. I slammed into it, groaning inwardly.
Or... not, I quickly amended my optimistic thought.
But the cheese had not stopped with me, and
I had to gallop to catch up. I finally managed to catch it, and while I dimly
heard the smattering of applause from the crowd above, Chaithakhos's low purr
of praise was better reward.
"We're half way there? Good. I don't think I
could stand much more of this."
Thirty meters more... twenty... And the cheese
rolled into a pothole. I sighed, knowing that I had already far exceeded the
time limit of a minute.
Almost there... Another rock slammed against
my ribs, seeming to jump out of the path. Just my luck. But the cheese kept
on moving, and rolled, alone, past the finish line.
The blue Techo (where had he come from?) scooped
it up, and waited for Chaithakhos and I to reach the bottom of the hill. When
we finally arrived, he told me, "You made it in eighty-four seconds. You're
pathetic." Dropping a few points into my paw, he then proceeded to ignore me.
I counted them up, angry at his treatment. "Thirty
points? You mean I lost four hundred and ten points just to spend my morning
rolling down a hill with a sticky cheese?"
He didn't answer. Chaithakhos murmured something
unintelligible. I glared. "Don't even think about saying 'I told you so.' "
"Awwwrrwr. Rrrffrp."
I sighed. "Well, I guess I can't really argue
there. It wasn't fun." I stared back up Terror Mountain, unexcited about
the prospect of climbing all the way back to our NeoHome
An hour later, I limped into the house, Chaithakhos
trailing dejectedly behind me. FruitLoupe, lying on the couch, looked up from
a book. "Hey, everyone, Stel's back!"
Allimeow zoomed around the corner at high speed,
just like she always did. "Hi, Stel. How was it?"
"Just about like I predicted, I guess. FruitLoupe,
if the cheese shopkeeper Techo ever becomes a challenger, could you do me a
favour?"
"Yeah?" He looked up, interested at the prospect
of a battle.
"Defeat him for me."
He smirked, and his Flizzardo chuckled gleefully.
"We'd love to, wouldn't we, Astaldorhos?"
Alli circled impatiently around my head. "So?
What are you going to do now?"
I considered briefly. "Sleep, and wait for all
my bruises to heal. Got a better idea?"
"Yes."
I rolled my eyes Faerieland-ward. "Alli, I didn't
mean that!"
"Well, I did. I think you should write an article
or a story or something. You know, for the Times."
I sighed, lying down on the floor with my head
in my paws. "They wouldn't take it."
"Why not?"
"For one thing, the only good thing I can say
about that Jhudora-cursed game is that it only lasted eighty-four seconds."
My sister's eyes sparkled. "So say that! I think
it would be interesting to have a new perspective for a change."
"Fine, fine, but I'm just doing this to please
you. And then I am going to take a nap, and you're not going to
bother me... right?"
Allimeow laughed. "I promise."
So, dragging myself to my desk--thanking Fyora
for my blessedly cloudy and soft room--I took out a faerie pencil, and began
to write: I woke up quite suddenly...
The End | 
