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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 22nd day of Swimming, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 36 > Short Stories > Al Pays Up

Al Pays Up

by al_the_chia

WHAM WHAM WHAM! A green paw slammed on the wooden door. Hotpaw jerked alert from what he was doing. "Huh? Who could that be? Ramming on my door while Iím so busy..."

Hotpaw walked to his door, opening the peep hole. He saw a Green Lupe with a greedy glint in its gray, gravelly eyes. It wore a green garish garment, and was glowing with greediness.

"Gads!" Hotpaw gasped. "Itís Paypaw! That gross, greedy grabby guppy of a Lupe!" Hotpaw frowned. "Geeze... I bet heís going for some green with an elaborate scheme. But as long as I prevail, I am certain he will fail! Wait a minute, why am I talking in rhyme? And how come Iím using words with G all the time? Ah, never mind... maybe if I pretend Iím not home, heíll go away, and leave me alone!" But the Lupe kept on banging on the door.

"Hotpaw!" He hollered. "I know youíre in there! Hurry it up! Donít be such a bear!"

"No Iím not here at this spot!" He yelled back. Realizing he just gave himself away, he threw a paw over his mouth. "Darn! Aw great..."

"AHA!" Paypaw scoffed. "Now I know that you know Iím here, and that you are here as well! Get out of the place from which you dwell! I need to speak to thee about some money that you owe me!"

"Oh please, stop talking in rhyme! You talk in rhyme all the time! And now look, youíre making me do it too!"

"Alright, so maybe all of that is true. But that doesnít change the fact that YOU owe me cash!"

"Get off of my property, Iím uh... taking a bath."

"But youíre a Fire Lupe, I know that for a fact! If you make contact with water, youíll fizzle and thrash!"

"Blurgh! I would have more peace if I lived with Doctor Sloth..."

"Troth! You speak Troth!" Hotpaw slapped himself. "Alright! Iím breaking this talking in rhyme thing right now! Paypaw, I do not owe you money, and you know that! I paid you back several weeks ago!"

"Hotpaw, I believe that your head's screwed on wrong! Have you been listening to shrill Opera songs? You owe me cash! Itís all too clear! And I will NOT get out of here!"

"Fine! Iím afraid Iíll have to use force!" Hotpaw threw open the door, holding a torch. "Back off!" He warned, snarling.

Paypaw simply laughed at the innocent-looking torch. "What will you do with that worthless trinket? That would be nice to light my NeoHome, me thinkit!"

Hotpaw took in a deep breath, then blew on the flame. A blast of fire flew from the burning wood, scorching the unfortunate Paypaw. "YEOOOOOOW!! GADZOOKS!! ALAS!! YOU KOOKS!!" Paypaw fled away, his tail blazing behind him as he ran into the forest, leaving a trail of smoke in his wake.

"NEVER MESS WITH A FIRE LUPE! AND DONíT TRY THAT RHYMING MIND GAME AGAIN!" Hotpaw yelled after him, before slamming the door with a crash...

Paypaw sat down in his decrepit house, dipping his tail in a bucket of water as he sighed. He lived in a grubby apartment, with nothing in his possession but his adorable Petpet and his poetic thinking. "Pen! Come here! Please be a dear!" He yelled. Soon, a Doglefox ran in, panting happily as Paypaw rubbed his head. "Life is oh so difficult for me! A starving poet, with no money! I must borrow and steal if I want to live. And alas, to my community, I have nothing to give." Paypaw looked out his tarnished window. "There must be some way I can get some good pay. Whatís a good crime I can pull off in time? My landlord is coming, and my fingers are drumming while the Chia outside in my lawn is humming..." Paypaw and Pen both jerked alert.

"Woof!" Pen barked.

"A Chia!" Paypaw leapt from his seat. "Clad in white, with glasses thick. Alas! Those creatures are quite rich! Scamming that one would be quite a pinch! With my poetic ways and undoubted charm, I would not have to do the good creature harm! Iíll use my wits to create some tricks! Then in the money I will definitely be! HAR HAR HAR HO HO HEE HEE HEE!! Come Pen! We have much work to do! Now fetch me my shoes! My green ones will do! Oh, itís half past two! Tea time! I guess I will stop my never-ending rhyme, for a sip of delicious Earl Gray, some cheese, and maybe some wine! That sounds just fine!"

Later that day...

Al the Chia wandered down the many pathways of Lupe Forest, looking at the signs confusedly. Although he had explored much of the forest, he was looking for a Lupe who lived in a house in a neighborhood which he had never visited. "Hm, letís see... 1812 Balthazar Pathway should be the right address..." Al turned his head down to look at his map. At that moment, something leapt from behind a tree and whirled the sign in front of him around. Al looked up at a sign again. The figure was gone. "Thatís funny... I thought I heard someone," Al shrugged, folding up his map. "Alright, so according to that sign, I should go... this way!" Al marched onward, clicking a pen in his paw to entertain himself as he wandered down the dusty path.

A shady Green Lupe appeared from behind the tree, snickering as Al disappeared down the path. "My trick has worked! The Chia is deceived! And now itís time to make my leave!" He quickly turned the sign around back to its correct position, then ran off into the trees...

A couple hours later...

Al scratched his head as he looked around. "This doesnít seem right..." He was standing in front of a grimy-looking green apartment building. Suddenly, the door flew open to reveal a grinning Green Lupe.

"Ahoy there, friend! Please come and draw near! I really find Chias to be quite... dear!"

Al smiled. "Wow! Thatís um... great! I was worried Iíd be doomed to a much worse fate. Hey, why are we talking in rhyme?"

"Pets ask me that all the time. I guess itís just my poetic way..."

Al shook his head. "Alright, thanks, thatís great, but I really must be going..."

"But why should you? It is not snowing!"

"Now, thatís just confusing..." Al muttered. "I mean, why would it matter if it were snowing or not... HEY!"

Paypaw snatched his arm. "Oh, come now Al! My rhymes may be confusing at times! But I must insist I will do you no harm! Even though I am dragging you by your arm!"

In a few seconds, Al found himself sitting in a broken armchair, the Lupe setting a cup of tea onto the table in front of him. "Please, drink your fill while I cook some krill! I wonder, is my voice getting shrill? Alright, Iím going! Enjoy your beverage!" Paypaw turned and walked into his kitchenette, a devious smirk on his face.

"It should cause some serious leverage..." he added under his breath.

Al looked at the tea. "Why krill?" He muttered, before gulping it down. "Hm, good stuff... needs more sugar, though... huh... funny... is this herbal tea? I suddenly feel very sleepy... hey, thereís that rhyming again." His eyelids suddenly very heavy, Al fell asleep, snoring louder than a marching band on St. Davidís Day.

Paypaw crept back into the room. "Alright my friend, youíre fast asleep! In your pockets are the treasures I seek! Stay in rest, my Chia dear, for poverty is very near..."

Paypaw snatched Alís labcoat and began digging through the pockets. He pulled out a spare pair of glasses. "Hm..." He reached in and pulled out another spare pair. "Well, while the thunder crashes! This pocket is full of nothing but spare glasses!" He reached into the other pocket, pulling out two pens, a paperclip, and some lint. "Lint! Lint! Thatís all I see! Worthless is what this Chia be!" Paypaw suddenly noticed that the Chia had a hidden pocket in the inner lining of his coat. "Hm... well well, what have we here? Maybe my pay is now quite near..." Paypaw poked a greedy paw into the pocket, searching it thoroughly until pulling out... two neopoints. "Thatís it?" He blurted. "Two lousy points? A pair of dull-colored, worthless coins? Why is it that this Chiaís so weird... Alas, itís just what I had feared... But wait!"

Paypaw threw the drugged Chia off the chair to reveal the backback he had been wearing. "Alas! Here may be the real gold! I think that I will be that bold!" He picked up the snoring Chia, tossing him outside through the open window. "Begone, you curse! I have what I need! Now I can satisfy my endless greed!" He slammed the window shut, then dashed up to the backpack, reaching into it eagerly. "Joy of joys, here is the green! Wait, this green is not what it seems.." Paypaw suddenly felt something clamp onto his paw. He bit his lip and squinted his eyes. "Hm... this thing is causing me pain... I do not think that there is anything to gain..." He pulled his paw out to see a Bad Seed plant clamped onto it. "Oh spite..." Paypaw muttered. Suddenly, two more plants leapt from the bag, and, snarling, clamped onto his nose and tail, growling. "OH SPITE!!" Paypaw yelled, a little louder. "PEN! PEN! PLEASE ASSIST! MAKE THESE LOWLY PLANTS DESIST!!!" Pen took one look at the snarling, vicious plants and fled underneath the coffee table, his tail in between his legs. "LOUSY WORTHLESS DOGLEFOX! IíD BE SAFER PROTECTED BY A CARDBOARD BOX!!... YEEEEEEEOW!!!"

Paypaw screeched as the plants bit down deeper and began growling louder. He began to flail around the room, until finally he threw the plants off. They thudded against the wall, stunned for a second before jumping up and resuming their loud barking. Humiliated, Paypaw fled from his own home as the plants nipped at his feet. He climbed up a tree, the plants barking from the bottom as he panted. Gasping for breath, the torn-up Lupe clambered up branch after branch. "This lousy Chia is no good! I must keep him away from my neighborhood! And as for the rent, Iíll refuse to pay! I swear I will not spend another day, here where the Chia may once again roam! Iíll find myself a safer home!" With that, Paypaw sat down on a firm branch, sulking until the Bad Seeds went back to their owner quite a few hours later...

Al woke up with a start, his eyes fluttering as he looked around, confused. "Heigh-Ho! Green Lupe? What a strange life, stolín hence, and left me asleep? I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of a Chia to say what dream it was. Man is but a Piffle, if he go about to expound this dream. Methought I was -- there is no man can tell what. Methought I was -- and methought I had -- But Chia is but a patched fool if he will offer to say what methought I had. The eye of Chia hath not heard, the ear of Chia hath not seen (not that Chias have ears), Chiaís paw is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report, what my dream was... but boy, it was a great dream!!" With that, Al jumped up, dusted himself off, and, whistling, walked back down the path...

The End(Or not the end... that is the question...)

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