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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 12th day of Eating, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 29 > Short Stories > The Noodles and the Power of L337

The Noodles and the Power of L337

by yaboofernoodle

Al the Chia had just finished researching us when we got to go back home. However, when we came back, the house next to ours no longer had a 4 SAIL sign on it. It now had a SOLED sticker. Someone had moved in! Each of us unpacked our bags and headed over to meet them. Firey_Sac must've knocked on the door for 15 minutes and we finally just walked in. The whole place was devastated! The whole group split up to find any people and finally KoochieNoobus pulled out a shaking Neopian from behind a chair.

"H… he… help!" they stammered.

I ran over to help. "What's your name and what happened?" I asked.

He let out a reply after a bit. "I'm a newbie, my name is biteme391, call me Bite for short. I was setting up my furniture and everything, when all of a sudden these people broke through the door and messed everything up, demanding my NP!"

I thought back and remembered each little detail of the days when I once roamed the Newbie chat boards. Ah, those were the days. Anyway, I had to help Bite and fast!

"…Scoundrels. Number Nimmo, get an emergency invasion pack!" I chatted with Bite over a cup of Hot Borovan. "The only thing they left behind was this. I snagged it just as they left. Do you think it's worth anything?" I looked it over and didn't see any value markings, so I simply put it in my pack to bring it home.

Later on, I had been finishing up some laboratory tests when KN came running up the stairs. "Mum! Do you remember where you put the potion?" I paused for a bit and then jumped up in alarm. The fridge! I put it in the fridge! Oh, no…Bhuhbuh has had a dry throat recently and he gets so thirsty!

I rushed back down the stairs with KN to the second floor with all the bedrooms. Bhuhbuh sat on his bed looking at the ceiling.

"Bhuhbuh! Is anything wrong?"

Bhuhbuh glanced at me and said, "3y3 d0n'7 kn0w. M0m, wh47 i5 in 7h47 p07i0n?"

The last thing I knew, I had fainted. When I woke up in the Library, KoochieNoobus was staring at me.

"Mum? I found it! The potion that was found at Bite's house… the one that Bhuhbuh drank. It's called a 'L337 Potion'. Scoundrels who aren't experienced yet drink it so they can speak L337 while they learn the whole language. They call it 'L337 5p34k'." I was relieved at this, for I needed to learn how to speak L337 in order to understand what the thieves of Newbies were saying recently. There was still a big problem, though.

"M0m! H0w (4n 3y3 5in6 47 0ur n3><7 (0n(3r7?" Bhuhbuh said. This meant "Mom! How can I sing at our next concert?" I understood his dilemma, for it is very hard to sing if you can only speak L337.

67_8401528 simply used a bit of logic. "Why don't we just kidnap one of those hackers and get some answers about the cure from them?"

He was a genius. Firey_Sac grinned. "Now I KNOW I'm going to love this!"

Bhuhbuh sighed. "0h, 7h3 460ny." Which means "Oh, the agony."

We immediately began to set up our things.


About half an hour later, we arrived at the alley.

"We're here!" KN cried out. I glanced at her, puzzled.

"H0w (0u1d y0u 637 7hi5 inf0, KN?" Bhuhbuh stammered.

Everyone looked at me for a translation. I sighed, and answered, "He means 'How could you get this info, KN?', all right? OK!"

KoochieNoobus looked towards Bhuhbuh and said, "I found a map of underground Hacker subsystems and hideouts. This is a hidden entrance."

We propped up our MotoMorphs and hopped into the trash can against the alley wall. We went down a slide with twists, turns, dips, and doodles. Finally, we plopped out in the back of a room where some scoundrels were playing Neopoker. One of them was just a little ways in front of Firey_Sac. He immediately began to creep towards him. Firey_Sac whipped out a rope and flipped it around the no good and covered his mouth so he wouldn't scream. Pulling him back into the shadows, I immediately pinned their leader against a wall and started questioning him.

"What gang do you belong to? Who have you stolen from recently? What have you stolen? What do you know about the L337 potion?"

He responded slowly and in a whisper. "N00b H4(k3r5. N07 7h47 i7'5 y0ur 8u5in355, 8u7 8i73m3[391]. Ju57 7h3ir NP. 4nd, 60 533 'd4 8055."

I translated this out, and he said "Newbie hackers. Not that it's any of your business, but biteme391. Just their NP. And, go see the boss."

I dropped him to the floor and told him, "Return everything you stole. Bite is my new neighbour, so you're in deep trouble if you don't…"

KN pointed out which tunnel should have led to the boss. We ran on and on and on for what seemed like forever, and we finally came to a strange door. KN popped in codes repeatedly.

"It's not working!" she cried.

67_8401528 stepped forward and kicked down the door with one mighty blow. "I learnt that from 'ol Ryshu."

There was nobody there, but there was one bottle on a shelf. I snagged it and tossed it to Bhuhbuh.

"3y3 h0p3 7hi5 w0rk5…" which translates to "I hope this works…"

He slurped down the bottle and there was silence for a few tense seconds. Out of the blue, he fainted over. Everybody ran over to help him.

"Bhuhbuh! Bhuhbuh! Speak to me!"

"…I don't wanna go to school, mummy… I want to stay home and tend to the rabbits instead…" He collapsed again, but I knew we had cured his L337 tongue.

I tapped the teleporter button on my new gadget to warp me through Neopia, and we arrived back home. We landed on the pavement and I glanced upward, bleeding a little from the crash landing. Someone was breaking into the house next door…

Here we go again, I though to myself.

The End

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