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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 23rd day of Swimming, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 15 > Articles > Yet Again, More Neopian Conspiracy Theories

Yet Again, More Neopian Conspiracy Theories

by onugu

I started this because I had spotted a few strange things in Neopia. Now I find more and more of you have also seen oddities or noticed suspicious happenings!

This thing is bigger then I first thought!

Since so many of you have ideas and theories for the Great Neopian Unexplained, I have created a Guild, called the Neolluminati (meaning "secret society"), the only criteria for joining is that you be willing to help unravel some of these mysteries!

This week, I have decided to investigate the various ways in which the Neopian Shadow Government (SG) obtains its funding.

The Ghosts

We have all experienced the Ghosts from the Money Tree. They roam around Neopia, and when you're not looking they quickly grab Neopoints from you, the only reason you notice, is because they cackle insanely as they flee!

The stolen Neopoints are supposedly placed in the Money Tree, for those less fortunate, and sometimes you can see evidence of this. But why do the Ghosts steal items and Neopoints from the Money Tree as well? It makes little sense to steal it from you, to place it on the Money Tree, and then steal it back from the Money Tree!

Maybe there are two types of Ghost? Or more likely, it is something the Neopian Shadow Government have set up, in the hope of confusing you into not noticing, or maybe not minding - after all, if your Neopoints were helping the poor, it wouldn't be so bad!

The Bug Brothers

These two have the habit of popping up from nowhere and stealing your Neopoints! No matter how much I try, I simply cannot find any information on this sneaky pair, perhaps they are being protected by the SG?

The Wishing Well

This is an interesting point raised by an Agent of the Neolluminati - Linnet.

Have you noticed that no matter how much NP you put in the Wishing Well, you never seem to receive an item. Some people, Linnet and myself included, have put thousands of Neopoints in, only to get nothing.

By the Well is a list of people who have had their wishes granted. Are these people real? Or are they merely random names to reassure us and convince us to part with our NP? I would be interested in hearing from anyone that has had a wish granted.

Is the Wishing Well purely a means of obtaining our hard earned Neopoints? This remains to be seen. Maybe the Well uses all of the NP donated to provide items to the very lucky, or maybe it simply gives out a few items here and there to avoid suspicion, then passes the profits to the SG!

The Alien Aisha Vending Machine

Another very good observation by an Agent of the Neolluminati - Protan.

Have you noticed the Vending Machine is in (importantly) Neopia Central? How this strange machine came to be here is a little of a mystery, apparently the Alien Aishas brought it.

The Alien Aishas are Aishas from outer space. Or are they? Don't you think it is a rather large coincidence that a race so similar our Aishas could evolve independently on another planet? And have the same name? And if they did come from outer space, why is there no documentation of it, surely an event as huge as contact from an alien race would be big news! Yet there is nothing.

Also strange is the fact that the Vending Machine uses Nerkmids, something that is found lying around in Neopia. How very convenient that they came here, where their machine works!

Nerkmids are very expensive to buy, try looking them up for yourself on the Shop Wizard, and what do you get for them if you put them in the Vending Machine? Food. That's it, food. And most of the time the food is worth much less then the Nerkmid. Does this remind you a little of Dubloons?

I think that the Alien Aishas are not "aliens" at all. My theory is that the SG conducted experiments on normal Aishas and created the Alien Aishas. Of course they don't want people to know this, so they claimed they were from outer space. To back up this claim, the created an extraterrestrial machine for them.

But why experiment on Aishas? Have you noticed that a normal Aisha has four ears, the larger pair is perfectly placed for eavesdropping and gathering information. Alien Aishas have six ears, they have an extra pair of super-spying ears! Maybe the bells around their necks are not bells at all, but instead radio transmitters or recording devices!

What a perfect way to gather information, then by having "aliens" placed at a Vending Machine, which attracts great crowds, and idle chat! You wouldn't be too worried about chatting to your Neofriend about secrets, if you thought the only person who might hear you was from another planet!

The Auctions and the Trading Post

If you have ever taken part in an Auction, or placed an offer at the Trading Post, you will be aware that any Neopoints involved are removed from your stash. They are put to one side for "safekeeping" so that you don't spend them just in case you win the auction or your offer is accepted. Fair enough.

But, what happens to these Neopoints in the time between winning the Auction, or having your offer accepted on the Trading Post? This is something that virtually no-one notices! Those Neopoints have to be somewhere, but you haven't got them, and the other party involved in the Auction or Trade hasn't got them….

Yep, you guessed it. The Shadow Government secretly places these Neopoints in its own account until the transactions are completed. While the funds are in these secret accounts, they earn a lot of interest, and in the case of long-term transactions, they may even be used to fund secret projects! Think of how many Auctions there are every day, and how many items in the Trading Post have had offers made… This is an incredible amount of Neopoints! And how sneaky!

I'm going to have to stop here for now, there are many other things I would love to tell you, but I have just received word that one of the Neolluminati Agents is missing!

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