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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 24th day of Relaxing, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 14 > Short Stories > Al and Peace

Al and Peace

by al_the_chia

Al fled through the thick trees and heavy overgrowth, screaming. Fluffy clung to his leg, hissing unhappily. Hollypaw the Christmas Lupe snarled as she pursued. “I’LL GET YOU YET YOU OVERGROWN PLUSHIE!!” she screamed.

Al stumbled over a large rock, panting. “I can’t… go… much… longer…” Fluffy hissed, squeezing Al’s leg and making him yelp in pain. Al looked down to see a menacing glare stare up. “FINE!! I’LL GO LONGER!!” He leapt over a fallen branch, and tumbled down a grassy hillside, neatly landing and pausing for a second. “Whew, it would have been bad had I hit that branch!” Hollypaw crashed straight through it, growling and roaring like a Kougra. “AHHH!!” Al screamed in horror as she closed in…

WHAM!! Hollypaw fell over, knocked silly. “But mommy, I don’t wanna go to school,” she mumbled before going unconscious.

Al, by this time shriveled up into a ball, suddenly looked up. A Lupe with a hammer was grinning evilly at Hollypaw. “This, like, is one Chia YOU'RE not going to get, nark!!”

“AHHH!!” Al screamed. The Lupe screamed as well. Al was just about to dash away (Fluffy a bit shaken, but still attached to his leg) when he noticed something. The Lupe wasn’t trying to look vicious or anything! He stopped. “Hm… This could be interesting…” he thought. He stopped, giving the Lupe a tentative smile. The Lupe gave him a friendly smile right back, bright white teeth grinning.

“Like, hey dude! I’m Peacepaw! And like, welcome to our peaceful domain!” Al suddenly realised he was in the Lupe’s territory. And it was somewhat strange for a Lupe territory. Birds fluttered and tweeted happily, and bees hummed along rows and rows of flowers. Happy little PetPets of all kinds skipped along the sunlit trees.

“Uh…” Al was freaked out beyond belief, but he still kept a nice smile pasted on his face. “Thank you. I’m Al, and this is Fluffy.” Fluffy, who had by this time gotten off Al’s leg, was frolicking among the flowers. Al finally got to get a good look at the Lupe’s clothing. He wore a rainbow coloured headband with purple sunglasses, and had a cloud-patterned coat with a tie-dye rainbow T-shirt, and a strange necklace with a peace symbol on it. He noticed a friendly little pink Miamouse frolicking around him, and also noted that he had a huge, flowing mop of hair on the top of his head.

“Like, dude, why are you, like, staring at me?” He inquired.

“Er, I’m just admiring your.. er…” he thought of what would be appropriate to say to a Lupe like this, “uh…Groovy clothes…”

The Lupe laughed, a snorting, airy sound. “Thanks, this cost me like, a bundle. So, like, would you like to like, uh, meet my pack?” Al smiled, a sly looking passing over his face. “Sure…”

Al walked along the rows of flowers, not helping feeling slightly sickened by the cutesy appearance of the wood. “Welcome to Paradise!” Peacepaw said, throwing a flower into the air, where a dove flew in and grabbed it, cooing joyously. A sparkling rainbow appeared behind his back, and out of nowhere, happy, sappy music began to play. Al felt a slight twinge in his stomach as he wiped off his glasses. The strangely happy world was starting to get to him. “ER, it’s very, ER… Groovy…” The Lupe smiled that odd, sappy smile and snorted that same sappy laugh again. “Thanks dude, it took like, eternity to get all the Heart Trees installed.” Al looked around, amazed. Not by the sappy music and sparkling cleanness, but by the variety of pets that were there. Not just Lupes were in Peacepaw’s pack. There were also several Chias. In the happy, sappy environment, the Chias were in their element, skipping and giggling like schoolgirl Kacheeks who just got their hands on a sugary Chia pop. Fluffy seemed to like the guitar and sitar music playing out of nowhere, and was joining in the dancing. Al was even more freaked out than he was before, but this was proving educational for him.

“Hm… how come you have…”

“The Chias?” Peacepaw interrupted Al mid-question. “Well, you see, were dedicated to peace and love and harmony between Lupes and Chias for all eternity!”

At the sound of the words, everyone cheered. Several birds flew by and the rainbow appeared again. Al nodded, his stomach turning a sickened knot. “I see…” Al’s secretly hidden handy dandy camera was whirring out of control from its hidden pocket, and Al’s handy dandy tape recorder was going full speed.

“Right now, we’re continuing our festival of joy. Right after that is the festival of music, then love, then peace, then happiness…” His words seemed to fade as visions of Neobel awards danced in Al’s head. The Chia-loving Lupes!! It was too perfect!! He’d write a book on it! He’d be famous! All the world would cheer for him! AL! AL! AL!!…

“Al? Al?”

Al jumped up with a start. “ER, yes, well, let’s start celebrating!”

Al sat down in a circle with a few Chias and Lupes. “All right, today we’re going to sing a song about how happy our happy community is, and then we’ll do the happy dance.”

Al looked at the Lupes. They all smiled, but somehow, they seemed to be a little too sappy.

“Yeah!” one cried. “All right!” another chanted.

“Peace out!” one bellowed.

The Chias all went into high-pitched giggles. Al felt the urge to throw up. “All right! Ready? I’ll sing the words and you sing along after I finish!” Al checked his hidden handy dandy tape recorder, keeping his false smile stuck on his face as best as he could. “Ready? One, two, three!…

Oh, if I were, unhappy,
I’d be happy again,
Because I live with happy people,
Who are all my happy friends!

…Everybody!” Al sang along, feeling his stomach gurgle. He shook it off, reminding himself that he was working for a Neobel, and continued singing along off-key, smiling stiffly all the while. Several pets near him covered their ears, scooting away. “Again!” He sang the cursed song again. “Again!” Yet again, they went through the song. Al looked to the other Lupes and Chias It seemed like they didn’t mind singing it again. “Weird…” Al thought.

“Again!!” Skypaw cried.

By this time, Al was feeling fit to burst. His glasses began to slip off his face as he tried to keep smiling. “Where’s Fluffy?” he thought. “Why am I here? I’m gonna throw up! I can’t take it anymore!” Al’s eyes began to swivel wildly in their sockets. “Just try to think happy, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…” Sweat poured down his face and he started to tremble as they went onto the third run. "Chia pops, Lupe Books, spying on Hollypaw..." Al tried to keep his happy, sappy thoughts up to match the happy, sappy groups. “Just two more to go, he said just five, you can take it Al, you can survive…” he thought. His mouth was sore from smiling, and his glasses had fallen off. The rest of the group didn’t even flinch once the whole song. Suddenly, something snapped inside of Al. And it wasn't just his stomach.

“AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!” He pulled himself from the circle, clutching his ears. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!” He stomped through the flower bed, feeling his stomach lurch. “MAKE IT STOP!! PLEASE!! MAKE IT STOP!!” He dashed into Lupe forest, bellowing all the while. Peacepaw blinked, an odd look passing under his sunglasses. "Dude, what a nark!"

Fluffy was doing fine in a happy game of ‘Happy Sack’, which was basically Hackey Sack with a smiley faced balloon, when he heard Al bellow. He soon rushed past him, dashing into the forest. Fluffy hissed unhappily. He waved a solemn so-long to the harmonious PetPets before charging after his owner.

Hollypaw woke up just in time to see Al plummet into the forest. Her eyes widened as she saw the Chia. "YOU!" Her lips curled into a vicious snarl. Al paused in front of her, dangerously holding his hands over his mouth. “I… NEED… TO… URK!!” His stomach did a flip. Hollypaw realised what was happening. She snarled. “You do it, you die, Chia. I'll rip you apart like a soft, happy, adorable Chia plushie!” Al couldn’t take it. “OH PI…. HUUUUUUURK!!!”

Hollypaw chased Al for a week straight. The Paradise Pack still continues, even to this very day. It’s happy, sappy feelings haven’t changed one bit, and unfortunately, neither have their lyrics. Fluffy was happily in home, warm by the fire the whole time Al was being chased. And Al? After the week of being chased, he got caught and was beaten to a sappy pulp. But after he crawled out of the dumpster, he celebrated his non-happy, non-sappy way of life, and lived UN-sappily ever after.

The End

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