Virtupets Station - The Perfect Vacation Spot! by mattcsteyl |  |
VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION - Have you ever listened to your friends talking, maybe
about their adventures battling Kass in Meridell, triumphs over the Snowager in
Terror Mountain, prizes they got for striking it big on the fruit machine, or
even getting some sun on Mystery Island. I've decided to tell you about an often
forgotten (Hey, that rhymes!) part of Neopian culture.
Here are 10 reasons to visit Virtupets station:
10. The Grundo Cafe, with its great, if not slightly unappetizing-at-first
food, is a wonderful place to dine. Enjoy all sorts of strange delicacies, from
Roast Gargapples to Green Tea. Not only that, but you have a mutant Grundo host
with a slightly lacking sense of humor to serve you!
9. Splat-A-Sloth. Yes, I know, it seems really boring at first, but eventually,
it becomes slightly enjoyable to whack a plushie of everyone's favorite person
with a newspaper repetitively. Hey, we didn't say it was the most humane place
to visit!
8. Discount Cards, to let you save even after you leave the station. It really
isn't very great for an exciting adventure, but hey, maybe it will be soon.
(Plus, you get to meet this really neat Kacheek, the only one in space!
7. The Grundo Warehouse. Yes, this place has all the spectacular rare items
to make you very rich, very fast! All sorts of unique and valuable items can
only be found here. The only downside is that you have to have bought official
merchandise, but hey, there's always a catch!
6. The unique Grundos themselves! I mean, haven't you always wanted to have
a green, horrendous alien as your very own? Those strange antennae, the evil
glowing eyes, they're the makeup of the perfect pet! (Note that they may be
as dumb as dirt, and that they sneeze a lot.)
5. Evil Fuzzles from beyond the stars! Almost everyone must have, at some time
in their life, wanted to go chasing vile-looking fluffballs across the universe
in a modified, uhh, roboty thing. And of course, who would drive this robot
but a Grundo himself. (See reason 6.)
4. All the advantages of using Space Weapons and Armour. In my opinion, space
weapons are much cooler than all of the others. You can wear robot armour, use
electric shields, and yes, you can blast people into oblivion with some of these
weapons. (Sorry, Jay, for loading you down with virtublasters.)
3. Those cute but not so cuddly petpets! Yes, your little robotic pal for life
can be found at this beautiful land. Whether you want a Diddler, which looks
like that hated cash register ringing up your prices, or a Wheelie, which is
basically a unicycle with a face, these are the latest and greatest in petpets.
And the best part is, you don't need to clean up after it, or buy it expensive
petpet supplies! Just pull the plug and presto: your petpet is asleep!
2. The technology. Virtupets is the only place besides Neopia Central with
proper technology. Who would want to go to a place where food is cooked on a
fire, or where there are people dressed like elves. (Ugghh, elves.) What sort
of land can compare with one that has a sarcastic voice coming from the ceiling,
antigravity chambers, or even pizza cooked in an oven? *gasp*
1. The big man himself, Slothie! He's the most famous person in Neopia, after
all, who as attempted time after time to conquer those inferior medieval-like
lands? It's such a pity that he hasn't allied with Kass currently, or there
would be no more elf-like clothes in Meridell. (Yes!) So, pay your respects,
and next time you have a choice, fight for Sloth and help bring technology to
Neopia!
Now that you know the good traits of Virtupets, let me give you a brief summary
of the bad ones in other places:
Meridell: Too many vegetables, not enough real food. (And that faerie is so
annoying.) That Ixi's game can give you such a headache, even the infernal beeping
in the Station can't match that! And at least in the Station, your leader is
not a lazy old grump whose breath smells like chicken pot pie. (All together
now: Eeewww!)
Lost Desert: Way too sandy, with not enough water. Who cares about some dead
guys shrine, even if it does give you extra levels. That guy's tomb (Oh no,
more dead people!) is also really headachey, with the colors and numbers. (But
the music is great!) And who wants to eat food that has been lying out in the
sun all day, or watch some overweight Sakmetians playing tug-of-war? They also
have a calculator! (Uggh, math.)
Terror Mountain: Too cold, and too many Blumaroos. I can understand one or
two, but hundreds? Now that would be annoying. Who would want to wear all those
clothes at one time? In Virtupets, you don't have to overdress to get warm,
the air conditioners do that for you! And you also don't have to worry about
getting pelted with compressed spheres of snow.(Otherwise known as snowballs.)
The faerie at the top of the mountain is so evil (but at least she doesn't dress
like an elf like the faerie in Meridell. Again: Uggh, elves!)
Tyrannia: Dinosaurs?!? Why a dinosaur land? Aren't museums enough for you people?
And you have to wear furs there too. Have you ever wondered who used that fur
before you did? My point exactly. And the only "good" food there is omelette,
but like the fur, do you know where that has been? And as for the citizens,
this is the one place where the people can throw someone, even a villain, farther
than they can trust them.
Mystery Island: This is it, the worst of them all. This is the most horrible
vacation spot in Neopia! You've got to go around in swim trunks or a bathing
suit the whole time to stay comfortably warm. There is even an active volcano
that could erupt at any moment and destroy the entire island! And who in there
right mind would buy one of their useless souvenirs?
So, now you know about the greatest of lands in Neopia! See you in Virtupets
Station!
|
