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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 13th day of Swimming, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 137 > Articles > The Darker Side of Neopia: Monocerous and Sloth

The Darker Side of Neopia: Monocerous and Sloth

by _cherryblossom_40

GALLERY OF EVIL - It is just one of the terrible facts of life. Whether Neopets or not, there will always be a nasty bully, an ingenious mastermind that wants to take over the world, a brainless, wobbly lump of monstrous strength, and a dark shrouded figure only caring about what you have in your pocket.

But, unfortunately, not many know about these mysterious Neopian beings. Only one book, namely ‘The Gallery Of Evil’, tells the little facts that there are about them. Curious, I went out to thoroughly research everything I could on these beasts-and I proved that there is much more to them then the dark Gallery of Evil could ever tell…

My quest began when I set my eyes upon Kass. Standing tall and proud, eyes flashing with an insane fierceness beyond words, I was captured by him. In the previous Meridell war, I had fought beside Jeran, sword at the ready, shield by my side. Lord Darigan was the hated enemy, a blank enemy to be fought, and defeated. And yet, our hopes were turned around when it turned out that the orb was actually his. Many abandoned King Skarl, and the Darigan side won the war. However…

The once-honest Darigan turned the Orb’s power to totally destroy, and yet he was defeated. Now, Kass, the purple Eyrie with a touch of evil, is once again leading the Citadel of Darigan in another war against Meridell.

I, in a way, fell for Kass entirely. Throwing down my weapons, I realized I wanted to know more. Where did Kass come from? Why was he now leading the Citadel? I turned to the Gallery of Evil for answers, opened it’s musty pages, read the sharp script…

What I found did not satisfy my ravenous tastebuds. I searched, high and low, not only for Kass, but about the other criminals of Neopia as well. Now, after organising and rewriting my notes, I have recorded them here for the likes of all Neopia to read…evil or not…

I hope you enjoy (or at least learn from) reading my own ‘Gallery of Evil’, and find a spot in your heart for these creatures of dark night.


With huge, black hooves, muscles twined with steel veins, and four boned horns protruding from his mouth and head, the Monocerous was the first ever found evilness of Neopia.

Supposedly living in a dark, damp and putrid smelling cave for the most of his long life, the Monocerous came out of living peacefully for a taste of Neopian pets.

Its spine-chilling bellow can freeze you stiff, and once your body is helplessly paralysed, the Monocerous will attack, eyes a deep, brown read, charging towards you, horns at the ready. There have been many reports of pets being hurt into 0 HP by this fiery-tempered beast, but there is one survivor that has written of his tale…

“The Monocerous charged towards me, it’s gigantic hooves slamming against the ground with frightening speed. It’s eyes stared at me, huge and twisted with a sort of sick delight, and it’s four horns were low to the ground, ready to slash me to shreds. Sweat covered its coat in slimy patches, and its smelly mouth opened with a insane roar, revealing rows of sharp, pointed teeth…driven by a terror far beyond belief, I shrieked out. The Monocerous’ eyes suddenly glazed over, and it put out it’s hooves and stopped in its tracks, panting and sucking in air. I swallowed, daring to move, but I knew everything would be alright. The Monocerous hung its head in a sort of hurt shame and definite revenge, before sinking into the shadows and leaving me. I stayed in that place for two and a half hours before someone came to rescue me.”

Strangely, the pet that wrote this on their petpage was not a Jubjub, which are the only known pets that are immune to the Monocerous’ roar, or anything similar to it. No, in fact it was a mere starry Lenny who was hanging around the Lost Desert and just happened to be unluckily caught out. It only goes to show you that unusual things can save you in the world of Neopets.

Looking for more information, I found a brilliant poem by a brilliant poet, Recent_angel describing the Monocerous in perfect and breathtaking detail. The poem goes as follows…

Where no beams of sunlight stray

And vines twist in a menacing way

In a cave so dark and deep

Where slimy creatures slowly creep

Upon a rancid bed of dung

Beneath where jagged rocks are hung

And dark shadowed bats squeal in chorus...

Beware the Monocerous

He bears four horns dark with might

That charge readily through the night

His eyes shine red with evil hate

That help decide a creature's fate

His fur is matted thick with waste

That displays his awful taste

He wanders fearlessly through the forest

Beware the Monocerous

Its bellow can freeze one's limb

And heartlessly make one's mind go dim

Although this creature is so strong

And that it does so much wrong

There is still one creature immune to it

That can avoid its awful hits

The JubJub that is so timid and small

Is not affected by the Monocerous's call

Others, Beware the Monocerous

So when the forest seems too quiet

And no light rays drift through it

When the forest is dark as night

You are sure to behold a fearsome sight

When this monster is out to roam

Make sure you are in your home...

Beware the Monocerous.

In case you haven’t noticed, the poem only emphisizes the terror that the Monocerous can draw into the hearts of so many Neopians. Still wanting more, I looked harder, and found this…

Hidden within the pages of The Gallery of Evil, a picture, creased and yellow with ages but understandable shows the terrifying size and face of the Monocerous… this is definitely one Neopian creature that you should stay away from, or at least prepare yourself, and your pets for the meeting of… good luck.

Dr. Frank Sloth

Dr. Frank Sloth. For some, the name sends frightening memories back, thoughts of wars and crushed hopes and months and months of hiding in terror. For others, the name brings back happy times, working side by side, fun dreams, exchanged wonders. Sloth, as he is commonly called, is either liked or hated. Hated for the past, liked for the future. However, the insane Dr (where did he get his degree anyway?) has been rumoured to be coming back, and so it is best to prepare yourself in anyway possible…

Dr. Sloth is mostly known for his crazy plan to take over all of Neopia, and he started this wild quest by getting Grundo’s and disfiguring them into freak mutants, aided by his Grundo guards and soldiers, others that will be discussed in future supplements of this series.

Much is known about Sloth, much more then what the perhaps outdated Gallery of Evil has to offer us. Users such as plushieowner have set out to make him appear innocent, fun, and amusing with his roll-eye ways. Perhaps now, after his defeat by the Space Faerie and his long spell in space prison, he has loosened up to become a life-loving being of modern Neopia…or maybe this is just another one of his twisted schemes for the next great plot of his…

There is nothing truly preventing Sloth from again attempting to take over Neopia. Being an unbelievable genius with an IQ that could reach Kreludor, Sloth has created many technology weapons that could aid him well. Evil robots, killer clones, space ships and ancient artifacts of major destructive power are just a few of the tricks that are hidden up his long, jet-black sleeve.

I set out finding more about Sloth, and searched through the Neopedia, finding these facts…

· Sloth may be hundreds of years old…

· He’s quite a tall… thing! 6’3’ towers over all those other evil masterminds!

· His famous quote is: Pitiful Neopets, you will all soon be my slaves.

· He might just like Neopets… why else would he have stayed in Neopia? Scorchios and Jubjubs appear to be his favourites.

Another weird fact about Sloth-he loves coffee and has a dartboard near his office desk. Weird, hey? But still…evil works in mysterious ways.

For those that are curious about what Dr. Franks Sloth looks like, there are many descriptions-green skin, red eyes, huge black robe, three spikes that may be hair or horns, and a small, Snorkle-like nose…but, luckily, many pictures exist of this power-hungry doctor.

Now, as you have probably already calculated, there are many more pictures of the evil Frank Sloth, but for a particular reason I have chosen these ones because of their curious differences.

In the first drawing, which I found in the Gallery of Evil volume, Sloth has clenched fists, a large chin, and a big robe covering a broad body. The second picture could not be more different. A Neopedia found piece, it shows Sloth in a black jacket, with an orange baseball cap on backwards and mint green skin.

The next picture is a dark one, red with Sloths trademark black silhouette. The one next to it reveals a rare glimpse into his spaceship fort, again in a jet-black robe and in a tall chair, pleased about something (I shudder to think what), and in the next, Sloth is peering out of a window, onto another planet covered with yellow clouds.

The following three pictures show two modern accounts of Sloth, with a golden Sloth trophy in the centre, making the evidence crystal clear-Sloth is forever changing. The final picture, showing his face turned to the right, hands open in a sort of wave, is a far cry from the Sloth in the black jacket and orange baseball cap. Perhaps, then, it shows how Sloth has changed from an evil villain without a heart to an amusing, advice giving columnist with a touch of craziness. You, the public of Neopia, can decide for yourselves.

Next time, I’ll be reviewing Kass and Morguss, two rather new entries to the Gallery of Evil. But, until then, I have a evil Spyder to go and have tea with…

This is reporter _cherryblossom_40, signing off after another grueling (and perhaps gruesome) day.

Authors note: I hope you enjoyed the first installment and I hopefully the next one will be published quite soon. If you have comments of any kind please feel free to Neomail me. And, for those rearing to give gifts, I’m sure a Kass item would suit me fine. :)

Week 137 Related Links

A Frank Discussion
Warning: Wearing helmets when in the Neopets Battledome gives you ‘Helmet Hair’. Ew... you certainly won't catch me with that.

by plushieowner

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