Main Page Go to Short Stories Go back to Articles Go to Comics Go to Continued Series Go to Editorial Go to New Series

Show All | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11 | Week 12 | Week 13 | Week 14 | Week 15 | Week 16 | Week 17 | Week 18 | Week 19 | Week 20 | Week 21 | Week 22 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 25 | Week 26 | Week 27 | Week 28 | Week 29 | Week 30 | Week 31 | Week 32 | Week 33 | Week 34 | Week 35 | Week 36 | Week 37 | Week 38 | Week 39 | Week 40 | Week 41 | Week 42 | Week 43 | Week 44 | Week 45 | Week 46 | Week 47 | Week 48 | Week 49 | Week 50 | Week 51 | Week 52 | Week 53 | Week 54 | Week 55 | Week 56 | Week 57 | Week 58 | Week 59 | Week 60 | Week 61 | Week 62 | Week 63 | Week 64 | Week 65 | Week 66 | Week 67 | Week 68 | Week 69 | Week 70 | Week 71 | Week 72 | Week 73 | Week 74 | Week 75 | Week 76 | Week 77 | Week 78 | Week 79 | Week 80 | Week 81 | Week 82 | Week 83 | Week 84 | Week 85 | Week 86 | Week 87 | Week 88 | Week 89 | Week 90 | Week 91 | Week 92 | Week 93 | Week 94 | Week 95 | Week 96 | Week 97 | Week 98 | Week 99 | Week 100 | Week 101 | Week 102 | Week 103 | Week 104 | Week 105 | Week 106 | Week 107 | Week 108 | Week 109 | Week 110 | Week 111 | Week 112 | Week 113 | Week 114 | Week 115 | Week 116 | Week 117 | Week 118 | Week 119 | Week 120 | Week 121 | Week 122 | Week 123 | Week 124 | Week 125 | Week 126 | Week 127 | Week 128 | Week 129 | Week 130 | Week 131 | Week 132 | Week 133 | Week 134 | Week 135 | Week 136 | Week 137 | Week 138 | Week 139 | Week 140 | Week 141 | Week 142 | Week 143 | Week 144 | Week 145 | Week 146 | Week 147 | Week 148 | Week 149

Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Eating, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 135 > Articles > Mutant Mayhem

Mutant Mayhem

by barbcat00

SLOTH'S LABORATORY: They're everywhere, poor twisted mutants created by the vain intelligence of Dr. Frank Sloth. First it was just the Grundos, but it has spread until now more than half of the pets on Neopia have a distorted version of themselves flying, swimming, or schlepping around scaring baby pets and innocent passersby. But where did they come from? Why are they here?

Well, the simple answer is they came from a bottle. No pet is unfortunate enough to be born looking like something from a science-fiction movie. Each pet had to have either purposefully or accidentally ingested one of Dr. Sloth's noxious potions. This causes their bodies to twist and mutate right in front of their owner's eyes. But for those who truly want to know this simple explanation is not sufficient. We want to get into Sloth's megalomaniac brain (one at a time please, there isn't a whole lot of room) and find out the ultimate purpose and genesis of these creations.

So I tried to get an appointment to see the mad scientist and see if we could talk shop (or lab as the case may be), but as many others like him he's jealous of his secrets and did not want to see me (well that and he had his appointment book scheduled full... grooming parlour visits I believe). But I was not to be put off from my intent so I sat down and thought (a painful procedure I assure you). And here is what I have reasoned:

The first mutants
The first mutants were the Grundos. They were created to serve Dr. Sloth as a willing army, so they are all large, strong, and green. Why green? Well what world leader doesn't want an army of soldiers that all look like him? (Well... somewhat anyway.) But, the point is he took a normal Grundo and augmented him physically so as to make a good soldier. And he's had a long time to perfect his technique with them so they of course came out rather well.

Other pets have not fared so well. Just look at things like the mutant Ixi, Lupe, Kiko, Kougra, Meerca, and Moehog. They're bulky, baggy, and most have unwieldy paws. ("Come let me scratch you... as soon as I can get my foot up.") The Lupe made out better than most but even it needs reinforcement ribbing to get along well. So since none of those seem like particular successes the smart experimenter would try a different tactic.

Specialized pets
Instead of blanket augmentation he could try to enhance certain parts of a given pet. Things like the Draik, Kacheek, Korbat, and Lenny fall into this category. The Draik has much larger wings and nasty fangs (a sure plus for any aerial attack) but some bug must still be present because the wings are shredded and useless. (Still need some work there, Sloth). The Kacheek and Korbat are strokes of genius. Need to compute the chances of winning or think up possible countermeasures? Just ask your brainy little Kacheek (but I'd put some kind of protective covering over its head... can't have those neurons getting hurt). Or do you need some reconnaissance done or just sentry work? How could any Korbat miss a sound with ears like that! Of course they become a liability in high winds, but those are the chances you take.

Call them Spike
Another way to do specific enhancements would be to try to add spikes or other sharp growths. These are always scary if not useful. So that is how Sloth got such creations as the Buzz, Chia, Grarrl, Scorchio, Shoyru, and especially the Techo. The Techo must have been an overwhelming success for Sloth; it's got little spikes everywhere. The spikes on the Chia don't look overly useful though and those on the buzz just look like they would get in the way of eating. But still, I am not going to laugh at a buzz with an under bite that could skewer any of Hubert's Hot Dogs without a second thought.

Two for the price of one
But these sorts of things were not sufficient for Sloth. He figured if one or two of something was good, why not more. With careful and tedious trials he ended up with Aishas, Elephantes, Krawks, and Usuls with three eyes, four arms, or three mouths. (The Elephante lost its legs to get the third eye but that's just a minor point. Giant three eyed slugs! Run!) But how much more useful is an Aisha now that it can manipulate things with those antennae mouths? Its paws certainly cannot do a whole lot by themselves. And the Krawk... four weapons at once? One really has to compliment Sloth on his work here.

By sea
And what army is complete without an amphibious unit? Here the evil Sloth took Cybunnies, Jetsams, and JubJubs and made them into fearsome creatures for use in the water. I mean who would want to meet one of those Jetsams in a dark murky coral reef? And the JubJub is perfect for hiding on the sea floor and catching enemies in its tentacles. The Cybunny did not work great as all it ended up with was a tentacle in back and gills in its ears, but it could still be a work in progress.

And one more...
Even after all this there is one species that has yet to be mentioned. The wrinkly little Blumaroo. This one must surely have been much frustration for Sloth. He's not big and scary; he can't fly; he doesn't even have the cool red eyes most of the others have. Maybe those lines across his stomach and tail are gill slits and he's reconnaissance for the marine unit under cover as a sea slug. I don't know. You will have to ask Sloth (maybe you can talk to him while he is getting his nails done).

The others
Now the question comes up as to why all the other pets do not have to fear being distorted into deformed creatures. Perhaps they are genetically incompatible with Sloth's mutation techniques and he is just unable to do anything to them. At which point they should rejoice in their safety. Or, more likely, he has just not created a serum he is satisfied with for them. He is still looking for better ways to twist them to his use. Either way your pets are safe for now, unless you change their species that is.

Now this is not to say that all mutant pets are mindless slaves to Sloth and just waiting for the call from him so they can rush in line to sign up for his army. But I do urge caution. After all that Meerca does look a little crazy. (Or maybe he just needs contacts.)

Note: this article is just for fun. I have left the topic of mutant petpets as they do not have transmogrification potions. My Lozi was a mutant for a couple minutes before I painted her white and I didn't love her any less for it. But comments are welcome, this is my first article attempt.

Search :
Other Stories

A Beginner’s Guide to Neoquest 2: Chapters 4
What to expect now? More enemies who WILL use their skills often; they all have more life than you, and really cool bosses. All right!

by kongsingcheung

Choosing the Perfect Guild
It is very great to talk to others and just plain be there! If you pick the right guild, it will contain your interests and that is where guilds shine.

by gkskis

More (Yes, More) Item Descriptions for the Alternative Neopian
Illusens Comb The origin of a little something called Lice Rice.

by too_kule

“It was a Dark and Stormy Night”: A N00b’s Guide to Writing Stories and Such—Part 1: Poems
When someone is talking about a "regular" on the NW, they probably mean a person who is good at writing and is found on the board a lot.

by neodonnaz

Neopets | Main | Articles | Editorial
Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series | Search