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FAERIELAND (where else?)- Every day, my Neomail inbox is full to the brim.
(Well, actually, I never get Neomail, but for the sake of this article, let's
just pretend I do.) I get a lot of fan mail (not), but mostly, it's questions.
"Hey, cool wings! Can you fly with them? And your magic skills. Where did those
come from?" Well, you know how I got 'em? I'm a (high-quality imitation of a)
Faerie! And with the help of this guide, you can become one too!
Why be a Faerie?
Well, if you ask me, it's fun! And you and your pets get to wear wings without
people screaming "GELERTS DUN HAVE WINGSIES!1!" And also, you get magical powers
into the bargain. Cool, no?
Faeries in General
Faeries can a) Fly around and give people quests all day (like most Faeries)
b) Stay in one spot all day and give quests to people who come to them (like
Illusen, Jhudora, and Taelia) c) Run shops (the Negg Faerie and Fyora do this)
d) Give out stuff all day for free (like the Soup Faerie and the Tooth Faerie)
e) Stand by a Cooking Pot (like Jhuidah) f) Run a crossword puzzle (think Library
Faerie) or g) Serve no purpose whatsoever (the Dung Faerie is like this). Or,
if you have way, way, way, way, way, way, WAAAAAAY too much time on your hands,
you could try h) all of the above.
Your Element
Before you can be a (high-quality imitation of a) Faerie, you have to pick
an element. Every good Faerie needs an element! Illusen has earth, Jhudora has
dark, Taelia has snow, Fyora has everything and I have... well, um, actually,
nothing. Ahem, moving on!
Anyway, your element should be a reflection of your personality. If you love
to plant things and watch them grow, then why not be a Dark Faerie, just because?
Or if you love to swim and get wet, it's a sure thing that Fire is the element
for you!
Wings
Most of the time, wings should match your element. Earth Faeries get fancy
leafy green wings, Fire Faeries get glowing red wings, and Dark Faeries get
really snazzy-looking dragonish purple wings. But that rule isn't set in stone.
There's been Air Faeries with glowing wings, and Fire Faeries with dragonish
wings (it was really cool). It's said that no two Faerie wings are exactly alike,
so your wings will be unique to you!
There are a whole bunch of ways to keep wings on. Some of them are the shoulder
straps (like a backpack), the waistband (for lower wings), and Psycho Paste.
Basically, choose whatever you're most comfortable in. Nobody can tell the difference
anyway (unless you're allergic to Psycho Paste).
Fyora requires all (high-quality imitations of) Faeries to supply their own
wings. While the huge amount of wing stores Neopia-wide gives you a nice selection,
wings can be pretty expensive. If those Neopoints are burning a hole in your
pocket, fell free to go out and buy some wings, but home-made wings are much
more economical. I'd recommend cardboard for beginners, but if you want really
heavy-duty wings, then it's probably a good idea to put the extra time into
a pair made of iron. They might be way too heavy to fly, but at least they're
durable, right?
Magic Skills
Again, these'll probably match your element. You can know every Dark spell
in the book, but it won't help you at all if you're a (high-quality imitation
of a) Light Faerie.
The magic is in the wings. Why? Don't ask me. Just don't lose those wings.
With special permission from the Library Faerie, here's the recommend reading
list for future Faeries. Believe me, these books help!
Breathe (for aspiring (high-quality imitations of) Air Faeries)
Earth Spellbook (for beginning (high-quality imitations of) Earth Faeries)
The Book of Pain (just right for soon-to-be (high-qu... oh, you know
the rest) Dark Faeries)
Playing with Fire (for future Fire Faeries)
The Wonders of Water (for will-be Water Faeries)
The End of the Tunnel (for learning Light Faeries)
Faerie Spellbook (general reading)
Maggie the Meerca (What? It's a good book!)
Just pick the ones you need!
Becoming a Real Actual Certified Faerieª
To be a Real Actual Certified Faerieª, you have to ask Fyora. You don't actually
have to be a Real Actual Certified Faerieª, but it gets you a nice certificate
to hang on your wall. Anyway, your first successful conversation with the Queen
of Faeries will probably be something like this.
You: Can I be a Faerie?
Fyora: No. Go away.
Congratulations! You're still not a Faerie. But the trick here is persistence.
Try again the next day. This time, the conversation should go something like
this.
You: Can I be a Faerie?
Fyora: No. Go away.
Repeat this step every day for about a week. If she hasn't let you yet, then
you have two options: 1) Don't be certified and be on your happy way. 2) Get
official.
What I mean by "get official" is act like it's a job application (actually,
it is). Write up a resume full of stuff you can do as a Faerie- like give good
quests, give good quest rewards, fly around and look pretty (if you're an Air
Faerie), fly around and look menacing (if you're a Dark Faerie), or fly around
and make sure everyone below you gets wet (if you're a Water Faerie.) Try to
get references that say "this person would make a good Faerie!", "so-and-so
is highly qualified," "I like pickles," or something along those lines. Then,
present it all to Fyora and say:
You: Can I be a Faerie?
Fyora: No. Go away.
This is why 99.99% of all Faeries are not Really Actually Certifiedª. (The
.01% is Fyora.)
The Benefits of Being a Faerie
You: Can I have this Hidden Tower item free?
Fyora: Is this a story with all of Neopia in danger and you its only
hope and such?
You: Um, I don't think so.
Fyora: No. Go away.
What About That Stereotype?
Wait! Need all Dark Faeries be evil? Do all Light Faeries have to be beautiful?
What about an Air Faerie who's afraid of heights?
True, the majority of Faeries fit the stereotype, but sometimes it's good to
think outside the box. Just ask Nundashedsa, a not-very-well-known Dark Faerie.
"Dude, why should I be all evil? Evil's boring. I just have fun with my life,
and it's... fun!" she says. "Jhudora can be all hissy and evil and stuff but
us other Dark Faeries don't have to be!"
Nundashedsa's Shoyru, †bermeep, agrees. "When I tell people I'm the pet of
a Dark Faerie, they don't believe me. 'But you're a DISCO Shoyru! Shouldn't
you be painted Darigan or something like that?' they always ask. Well, if I
can't be a Dark Faerie's pet and colorful at the same time, then Neopia needs
to think a little harder. Why color inside the lines when you can be creative?"
He and Nundashedsa live in the nostril of Techo Mountain on Mystery Island.
Of course, if you don't abide by the stereotype, you can't ever, ever, ever
show your face in most of Neopia. Why? Don't ask me. I guess Fyora just has
a problem with non-stereotypical Faeries.
Quest-Giving
Quest-giving is one of the best parts of being a Faerie. You get to make people
get stuff for you, and all you have to do is bless their pet! Cool, huh?
First, find someone who looks like a good quester. Newbies with 22 Neopoints
and people trying to get something from the Money Tree are always good picks!
For an added bonus, make sure they really need to use the Shop Wizard soon.
With the item to be quested for, you have to strike a fine balance between
ultra-cheapo and mega-hyper-super-de-duper-expensive. If you tell your quester
to get something ultra-cheapo, it's not really worth the trouble of blessing/bloating
the pet(s). But if you ask for something mega-hyper-super-de-duper-expensive,
they probably won't be able to get it and they'll tell all their friends to
refuse your quests because they're all too hard.
During the quest, you have to stand guard at the Shop Wizard in case your quester
gets lazy and decides to ask that Jubjub to do the work for them. In fact, maybe
all the people at the Shop Wizard are trying to take the easy way out
on a quest! The nerve of them! You'd better keep everyone away from that Shop
Wizard, just to be on the safe side. NO CHEATING, GUYS!
Now, as for the reward, it's pretty simple- fake the blessing. If the Neopet
is small enough, pick him/her up and chant some gibberish. (For Eyries and the
other big pets, just wave your hands around and beat your wings.) If you're
an Earth Faerie, just put a sign on the Neopets' lookups that say "Very Bloated"
and nobody will feed them until they take the signs down. Then, run away before
they figure out nothing happened! It always worked for me, and I'll get out
in two years with good behavior.
In Conclusion
Faeriehood is a most enjoyable and extraordinary experience and one I highly
recommend. (Ooh, aah, big words!) If you need any help along the way, you can
just contact one of Neopia's highly trained Faeries at any cloud in Faerieland.
They'll be glad to help*. That being said, best wishes for all your Faeriehood,
and until we meet again, use your time constructively- sleep in!
*Except for Jhudora, who will probably turn you into a Slorg for barging
onto her turf. (Which is quite all right. I love Slorgs! And no, I'm not biased
just because I've asked Jhudora for advice before. Aren't my bug eyes the cutest
things, and isn't my slime trail GREAT?)
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