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List of things to do:
-Prevent Sloth from stealing my muffins baking in the oven.
-Stand up before I sit up. Comedy is a dying art.
-Collect and think up more quotes, cram them into an article and think of some
snappy title that rolls nice off the tongue. Something original.
‘Things That Neopian Characters Would NEVER Say 2’ has a nice ring to it. Article
readers will never see it coming.
Long live, never-ending sequels! A pathetic excuse for yet another Neopian
Times trophy... Muhahahaha! Er, I never said anything. You didn’t read that,
Ms. Snowflake. Just kidding, I would never do that.
*************************
Spectre: Come on, Little Timmy, cheat! I swear, I won't spill it!
Simsman24000: I've decided that Babaas are really stupid looking Petpets
so I've decided to get my Quiggle a Frogarott instead.
Branston: Disco is dead. I'm a rocker now!
Stonewolf3x: Hey RC! I nominated you for leader of my Lupe pack! Please
say you'll accept and will let me be your campaign manager!
The Space Faerie: Sure, Slothy. You can move back to the Space Station.
I’ll even carry your bags in.
Patjade: Okay, I confess. I am Izzywizard. I've been living a double
life and I can't handle living with the lies and pretending anymore. It's a
compulsion, I need help!
Eliv Thade: I'm sick of anagrams. Get me a crossword puzzle.
Meuka: Like, what in the world is this like icky green stuff? Eww...
I touched it. I like REALLY need to wash my hands now or something!
Adam: I've decided to go on an anti Asparagus diet.
Mika and Carassa: Does anyone else find it weird we've been having
a garage sale in below zero weather for the past 2 years?
Stoneman3x: Argh! These Lucky Green Boots make me look soo fat!
Coltzan: Go away and leave me alone. Bug that Mystery Island Techo
guy for free stats.
Snowager: Come on in, everybody! Yes, you little boy! Go on, take the
Genius Negg! Go on! You can have the pick of my hoard! Don't be scared, little
girl! Come in, dear Wocky...
Jhudora: Awww... what a cutesy wootsie little Elephante plushie. Yes,
you are! Who's the cutest little plushie in the whole wide world, huh?
The Zafara Assassin: You know, I'm going to turn down this assignment.
Petpet Shopkeeper: I love the Turmaculus! He’s doing wonders for the
Petpet business!
Laurensama: My art totally rocks! I'm the best artist in the Neopian
Times! You losers all know that! Go me! Go me! It's my birthday! Go me!
Dr Death: For half price day, 50 percent off pet adoption fees in the
pound. Catch 22. You only receive half the Neopet.
Daine: Sure, Taipeiss. I'll handle this 250,000 NP lamp with the utmost
care.
Nick Neopia: Duuuuuuuuude. I, like, got an A on my grammar test today...
Stone: You know what? Go ahead and spend Halloween with a Lupe. And
while you're at it, you could buy them a paint brush, confess something you've
meaning to say, or play some Meerca chase.
Hotpaw: Balance your inner chi. Focus on spring breezes and butterflies.
Smell the scent of lavender. Ooooooooommmmmmmmmm...
Plushieowner: DOWN WITH SLOTH! Neopia all the way! I'm rootin' for
ya Brucey B!!!
Commander Garoo: Troops, I command you to throw me a big surprise party
complete with cake and all the trimmings next week!
Zarrelian: You are the best teacher in the world, Mr. Bronston!
Donna: -blocked- exists! It's true!
Scratchcard Wocky: Ahh, you lost. That's okay, here have a Cool Negg
and five million Neopoints.
Judge Hog: Ginny, go buy yourself a new bike. We have better things
to do, like to drink cocktails.
Sabre-X: Sure, have all the omelette you want! Nana nana!
Brain Tree: Let’s branch out and help somebody. How about the poor
sods still trying to get the ‘Edna’ avatar after 150 quests?
Ridergirl333: Ahhh!! Get that Felf away from me!
The Neopets Team: The Neoschools are here!
Every single pet in Neopia: Yay, Neoschools are here!!! We are going to spend
all our free time now doing homework!
Roxy: Maybe Dr. Sloth is right, maybe black is the new pink.
The Masked Intruder Kougra: A little robbery, never does anyone any
harm. Just look at the Pant Devil. He steals on a regular basis.
Felabba: I haven't really quit The Neopian Times. I have been working
on a 250 part Alfa70 and Murou comic, I really wanted to wait until I finished
it completely to submit all the parts at once.
Fyora: I’m trying out for the next ‘Legally Purple’ movie. Wish me
luck.
Tahoshi: Let's POLKA!
Vira: What about me?! It isn’t fair!
Jhudora has hogged all the fame, now I want my share!
Hannah: Er, I’m a girl. I can’t read maps.
Meuka: I need to blow my nose. Got a tissue?
Wolf: Good morning, RC!
The Meerca Chase Meerca: Can I go home now? I'm getting kind of full!
Money Tree: Go pollution! Nothing like a bit of stale, polluted air
to keep us trees alive.
Ms. Fyres: I QUIT! I’m surrounded by grubs!
Too_kule: Oooooo! Lookie at the cwute widdle lawn gnomes! Aren't they
so adorable? I just gotta hug dose cwute widdle things!
Kevin the Korbat: I have 100 Neopoints on myself to win this game of
Gormball.
Snowflake: Nobody is going to die if I don't finish The Neopian Times
this week. Or month. Or year. Or ever. Muhahahaha!
Uni: "You think I'm cute? Howsa 'bout I come over there and run you
through with my horn, eh? THEN would you say I'm cute?!"
Bucky the Babaa: Find the inner Babith... oops, I mean Babaa. Oh great,
that is going to haunt me on one of those blooper reel shows.
Agent Magnolia: I’m giving up being an ‘agent’. Its ruining my nails.
Esophagor: I'MMM HUUNGGRRYYY, BUUTT THHATT'SSS OOKKAAY! III'LLL JUUST
TELLL YOUU WHHEN CHARLES USUL FAIIINTTED!
RJ: I swear that I will never ever get angry at Giving again, and I'm
going to adopt a Turdle and love it and care it and hug it all over!
Giving: I'm throwing Sandy away and taking up piano and ballroom dancing!
Jhuidah: Oops, I shouldn’t of cleaned the spoon after I licked it.
Al the Chia: Okay! The meeting has officially come to order! Now, how
CAN we banish the Lupes from the face of Neopia?
Miss Fyres: Just throw the mud on the carpet! And let’s mud wrestle!
Usuki Shopkeeper: You know, I think I've outgrown Usukis. It's time
to start learning how to use make-up.
Roxy: *goes to bakery and takes cookie which just happens to be the
cookie to plushieowner's account.* Hey Slothy, ya mind sharing?
Spider Grundo: AHH! It's a bug! HELP ME!
Zarral: Hey, cool... I'm looking at my reflection in this water here
and I see coming up guy behind me wanting to attack me. How weird, it looks
so real.. What? Nah..
Tiki Tack/Tombola Man: This stuff is junk. Maybe I should give away
paint brushes instead of sand.
Snowflake: Turn up the heat! I'm freezing!
Fountain Faerie: Tonight, I think I’ll paint the town red... pink,
blue and yellow.
Dr_Death: *sings* Oooooooooh I love the raindrops, I love the spring!
I love the bidies and blossomy things! lalalalalaalalaaaaaaaaa! *window shatters*
Ruby the Zafara: Ew, pickles! I hate pickles! Let's have asparagus.
Mystery Island Chef: My next restaurant needs singing waiters..
Author’s Note:
Feel free to Neomail me any comments that you may have regarding this article.
I really appreciate feedback from readers.
If you would like to check out the original article ‘Things That Neopian
Characters Would NEVER Say’, its in the Article section of Issue 124 of the
Neopian Times.
Finally, thanks to these uber-spiffy people for their contributions: Potatorewkiki,
Monarchistknight, Cebu_that_meows, Frostcrystal, Stoneman3x, Ridergirl333, Articuno_neo,
Random_joy, TennMagpie, Kecen, Neo_tomi, Gkskis, Faeriegurl4lyfe and Sillygirl_543.
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