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"EXTRA, EXTRA!!!" the Chia with the latest addition of the
Neopian Times, Neopia's favorite newspaper, called. "READ ALL ABOUT IT!! SLOTH'S
GIVING OUT FREE PASSES TO THE LAB RAY! TAKE YOUR CHANCE TO TRY TO GET A RARE COLOR,
OR BOOST YOUR PET UP A LEVEL OR TWO! ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOLKS! SLOTH'S
BEING NICE! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PURCHASE THE NEOPIAN TIMES AND GET A
FREE COUPON! EXTRA, EXTRA!"
People from all over purchased The Neopian Times
that pleasant, sunny day; and why shouldn't they? This was a once in a lifetime
chance. This was a mark in Neopia's history for cryin' out loud! Lab Ray maps
were extremely hard to come across, and purchasing them cost an arm and a leg.
Besides, even if you happened to stumble upon the Lab Ray you weren't allowed
in without the proof that you had the full map. So yes, to every normal Neopian
this week's Neopian Times Issue was a necessity. Of course, Trella Kinks was
not a normal Neopian no matter how much her white Uni, Pricsesa, wanted her
to be.
**********
"TREEELLA!" Pricsesa whined; she definitely had the qualities of a Uni through
and through. "Hurry up! I want to get a copy of The Neopian Times before it
sells out!"
The Uni paced nervously around her owner's Neohome
made of the finest marble Neopia could buy. Her owner was very rich, but very
stingy. She only emptied her pockets out on building the Neohome for one reason;
Pricsesa wouldn't put a negg in it until she did.
"Why do you care?" Trella asked as she walked
out of the bathroom made of silver, still plaiting her dark hair into two identical
braids. "You hate reading. You tell me that every time I buy you a book."
It was true; the Uni had read less books than
some newbie pets. It was partially because of her arrogance, and partially because
she felt reading was incredibly dull. Pricsesa pondered on this retort for a
second, and tried to think up a witty reply.
"I like the comics," she said. Not very witty
for most people's standards, in fact, not even witty enough for most specks
of dirt's standards; but Pricsesa was not very worried about that. At least
it was an excuse.
"Pah!" Trella laughed. "You told me that you
think all the artists are foolish, and drawing is a waste of time."
Pricsesa went silent for a minute so she could
do some deep thinking (though she considered that highly dangerous), leaving
her owner to finish her braids.
"I just want it, that's all! Gosh, why do you
always have to pry into my life? I hate you!" Pricsesa yelled as she galloped
out the door and slammed it behind her.
Teenage soap operas, Trella thought to
herself. What would the world do without them?
The Uni started walking down her street after
she ran out of the house, heading for Neopia Central. She knew her owner would
catch up with her sooner or later, but for the moment she was free and she enjoyed
that feeling.
Pricsesa took a deep breath of relief when she
realized how close Trella came to figuring out why she wanted The Neopian Times.
She figured that she shouldn't have asked her straight out since Trella knew
she hated reading. To be perfectly honest, that wasn't the reason she wanted
the paper at all. She only wanted the paper so she'll be able to get a hold
of the Lab Ray Coupon that her best friend Lassalu the Usul tipped her off about
in the morning.
***********
Lassalu had come around to Pricsesa's room window, woke her up (much to the
Uni's displeasure), and told her straight away about what was in this week's
paper.
"It's a coupon for the Lab Ray! Think of how
strong and beautiful it can make us!" Lassalu cried this morning as she clutched
the much-coveted coupon in her paws. "My mom woke me up early because my little
brother Dugnorf, being the geek that he is, wanted to get one of the first copies
of The Neopian Times. We went to the newspaper stand to actually find it crowded!
Imagine it! A place being crowded over something you have to read! Anyway, when
my brother opened the paper, out dropped this!" -she waved the coupon in the
air- "It's in all of the papers and it's only good for today! It says
here that Sloth will do something great for all of us who are present at the
Lab Ray at precisely 4:00NST! Mom said she will take Dugnorf and I to the Ray
today! Think of the possibilities Pricsesa!"
Pricsesa had stared longingly at the coupon,
then shook her head. "You know how absolutely awful Trella is! She has something
against me and the Lab Ray. 'I don't think that having yourself altered by a
giant machine built by a creature who constantly wants to destroy Neopia is
very safe,' she says. Urgh! She hates me! She makes me go to the training school
at least once everyday instead. I mean, so what if my stat's are really high?
I still need to go to the Lab Ray!" Pricsesa said, using a very high-pitched
voice that sounded nothing at all like her owner.
Lassalu had a blank expression on her face for
a few seconds while she tried to think of a solution. It came, but very slowly.
"L-lie.... to.... her.... Tell..... her..... that..... you..... wanted.....
to read.... and..... then snatch..... the coupon..... and go..... by..... yourself....."
the Usul said with such concentration and thought you would've thought she was
trying to figure out a really difficult Lenny Conundrum.
"Wow! That's a great idea! Your brain must hurt,
Lassalu!" the Uni cried.
"It does," Lassalu mumbled as she held her head
in her paws and walked away from Pricsesa's window, allowing the Uni the time
to plot her scheme.
***********
Of course, after phase one turned out horribly, Pricsesa was now plotting
phase two; trying to get the coupon. She hadn't thought that far yet until now,
since she believed that it would be almost impossible to think up more than
one phase at a time.
"HEY PRICSESA!" Trella cried behind her as she
ran desperately, trying to catch up to her pet. "Wait up! I'll get the dumb
paper!"
"You better," Pricsesa snapped.
When Trella caught up to Pricsesa, they started
walking in silence when suddenly they started to hear a steady roar from a crowd
gathered around the newspaper stand.
"What's that?" Trella asked as she tried to
peek over the heads of the crowds.
Pricsesa, an idiot though she was, immediately knew what the crowd was about.
"The Lab Ray coupons," Pricsesa muttered to
herself. "They're in the paper and if Trella keeps investigating she'll find
out why I wanted the paper!"
"Pricsesa, why are you talking to yourself?"
Trella asked suddenly.
"I gotta find a way to get to the paper by myself,
but how? I know!" Pricsesa mumbled while ignoring her owner, like always.
"Pricsesa, are you okay?" Trella asked again.
"Pricsesa! PRICSESA!"
"What? Oh, uh, Trella! I'm- uh, I'm... hungry!
Yeah, I'm hungry! Go get me some food! I'll get the paper by myself!" the Uni
exclaimed, trying not to sound too suspicious.
"But I saw you devour two fried eggs, a purple
negg, and three sausages this morning. I don't know how you could possibly be-"
"I SAID I WAS HUNGRY! DO YOU JUST WANT ME TO
STARVE OR SOMETHING?"
"No, but--"
"THEN GET ME SOME FOOD! From the bakery if you
don't mind," Pricsesa said with an air of superiority.
Trella gave the Uni a threatening look, then
sauntered off saying something about regretting buying those glamour neggs.
Another sigh of relief escaped out of Pricsesa.
Now she could get the paper... that is, if she could get to the front of the
line.
"Hey! Beautiful Uni coming through! I want to
get a paper! Hey-- OW! That was my hoof! You little-" *SMASH* Pricsesa had had
enough of the mob, she wanted that paper and she did not want to mess up her
mane while doing it. So, she simply gave the Skeith (who stepped on her foot)
a good kick in the pants (if Skeiths wore pants that is). Everyone around her
stared, surprised at how strong this Uni was.
"Does anyone else want to get in my way?" Pricsesa
hissed, with a foreboding look on her face. Nobody replied. Instead, they all
moved silently to the side to allow the Uni to pass. "Thank you," she said as
she grabbed the paper from the frightened Chia. She threw down a five Neopoint
piece and muttered, "Keep the change." Then walked idly away from the crowd.
She walked over to the Money Tree where she quickly snatched five Neopoints
that some other Neopian donated.
Looking up, she saw her owner in the distance,
clutching something small and pink.
"Hey Pricsesa! I grabbed you a donut with pink
icing. I figured you'd like it since pink is your favorite color-"
"URGH! A doughnut? Do you know how many calories
that thing must have? Do you want me to get fat or something? Besides, I'm not
hungry," the Uni said as she started trotting back home.
"But-- after that scene!" Trella exclaimed,
waving the doughnut in the air with rage.
"Do I have to repeat myself? Besides, I have
the paper and I really want to get it home."
Trella looked at the Uni fiercely, but then
pocketed the doughnut in silence. She joined her pet Pricsesa, but her fists
were clenched unnaturally tight.
When they finally got home, Pricsesa raced up
towards her room with the paper clutched in her hand, not bothering to close
the door behind her.
She tore through it, looking for the coupon.
Finally, she found it. It was a sickly green color, and the writing was in red.
Though Pricsesa hated reading, she made an exception for this. Greetings!
it read.
This is a coupon, verified by the great Dr. Frank Sloth, which will allow your
family (I have an accurate list of how many pets are in one family group, so don't
try to sneak others in. Though I don't know why you would because I'm giving these
coupons for free) entrance into the Lab Ray, without purchasing/finding all of
the pieces to the map, on the 7th day of hunting at 4:00NST. At that time I will
allow everyone in and each will get his/her turn to go under my Lab Ray's beam
and be transformed in some way or another. And as for the pets who have already
purchased Lab Ray maps, I will allow you to come 30 minutes before the rest and
pick out certain things that you would like to happen to you. I highly suggest
that you come, and bring all of your pets because this is a once in a lifetime
opportunity and will NEVER happen again.
I hope to see you there,
Dr. Frank Sloth
"Don't worry Slothy baby! I'll be there! You
can count on that!" Pricsesa cried as she kissed the coupon.
To be continued...
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