Main Page Go to Short Stories Go back to Articles Go to Comics Go to Continued Series Go to Editorial Go to New Series

Show All | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11 | Week 12 | Week 13 | Week 14 | Week 15 | Week 16 | Week 17 | Week 18 | Week 19 | Week 20 | Week 21 | Week 22 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 25 | Week 26 | Week 27 | Week 28 | Week 29 | Week 30 | Week 31 | Week 32 | Week 33 | Week 34 | Week 35 | Week 36 | Week 37 | Week 38 | Week 39 | Week 40 | Week 41 | Week 42 | Week 43 | Week 44 | Week 45 | Week 46 | Week 47 | Week 48 | Week 49 | Week 50 | Week 51 | Week 52 | Week 53 | Week 54 | Week 55 | Week 56 | Week 57 | Week 58 | Week 59 | Week 60 | Week 61 | Week 62 | Week 63 | Week 64 | Week 65 | Week 66 | Week 67 | Week 68 | Week 69 | Week 70 | Week 71 | Week 72 | Week 73 | Week 74 | Week 75 | Week 76 | Week 77 | Week 78 | Week 79 | Week 80 | Week 81 | Week 82 | Week 83 | Week 84 | Week 85 | Week 86 | Week 87 | Week 88 | Week 89 | Week 90 | Week 91 | Week 92 | Week 93 | Week 94 | Week 95 | Week 96 | Week 97 | Week 98 | Week 99 | Week 100 | Week 101 | Week 102 | Week 103 | Week 104 | Week 105 | Week 106 | Week 107 | Week 108 | Week 109 | Week 110 | Week 111 | Week 112 | Week 113 | Week 114 | Week 115 | Week 116 | Week 117 | Week 118 | Week 119 | Week 120 | Week 121 | Week 122 | Week 123 | Week 124 | Week 125 | Week 126 | Week 127 | Week 128 | Week 129 | Week 130 | Week 131 | Week 132 | Week 133 | Week 134 | Week 135 | Week 136 | Week 137 | Week 138 | Week 139 | Week 140 | Week 141 | Week 142 | Week 143 | Week 144 | Week 145 | Week 146 | Week 147 | Week 148 | Week 149

Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Eating, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 108 > Short Stories > Attack of the 50 Foot Ego

Attack of the 50 Foot Ego

by stormydreamer

Lae, my Fire Aisha sister, had entered a story competition a few months ago; everyone at her school had. But I hadn't thought twice of it -- truth be told, Lae hadn't either. It wasn't until an important looking envelope, with a green stamp and address to a 'Miss Laeyan,' that she remembered.

      "Oh," Lae said, picking up the envelope. "Wonder what it is…"

      "Probably inviting you to the worlds biggest idiots convention," I smirked.

      "Yeah, Lae's the president of that one," Jero, my Faerie Gelert brother, added innocently with a wicked grin on his face. Jero could get away with being cheeky to everyone -- even Drushii, who would only answer to 'Drushii' and nothing less, would allow Jero to call her 'Shii' and be as cheeky as he dared.

      "Shut up Jero." Well, almost everyone.

      Lae finally managed to get the envelope open and started to skim the contents. She reached the end and let out a shrill scream, causing all of us (Zayei and Drushii had joined in the general nosiness) to jump about 10 miles into the air.

      "What?" I said, recovering. "Don't tell me we were right."

      "I WON!" Lae screamed, hopping round the room with the letter clamped firmly in one paw. "I WON! OH MY GOODNESS, I WON … FWEE! I WON! HAHAHA!"

      "Excuse me for cutting into your general excitement," Drushii, a Halloween Kougra, said in her calm voice. "But what precisely have you won?"

      "I WON THE STORY COMPETITION!" Lae shrieked, still hopping. Zayei raised an eyebrow on his Tuskaninny face and looked first at Lae and then at me, before returning his attention to Lae again. "Oh wow," she continued, her voice finally returning to her original octave.

      "Explain?" Drushii grinned.

      "My story's being published in the times… front page! I also get 10,000 NPs!" Lae cried, her paws shaking with excitement. "Oh wow, oh wow. I need to tell everyone!" And with that she disappeared upstairs to Neomail everyone she knew. And then some more.


The next morning the Times was delivered, and Lae, to her great excitement, found her story had indeed been printed on the front page.

      "Oh wow!" she squeaked, her voice rising several octaves. "Look! They even included an address to write to me!" She paused. "I'm might get fanmail!"

      "Oh great, that's all we need. Your ego inflating to another dangerous level," I sighed, plucking the story from her hands. It was actually well written, I thought grudgingly. Lae had thought up a good idea, and as much as it pained me to think, it was good.

      "My ego isn't inflated," Lae said in a bemused tone, implying 'pot calling kettle black'.

      "Yeah, and Doctor Sloth is really the Soup Faerie," I retorted, silently adding 'and remember who feeds you.'

      "You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of whit," Lae said in a dignified tone.

      "Yeah," I replied. "But you've gotta love it." I gave a coy wink and walked off whistling, content in the knowledge I had successfully wound up Lae before Breakfast.


The first of the fanmail came at around lunchtime, delivered via Neomail. It was well written and Lae took great delight in reading it to us, again... and again... and again... and again. By 2, all of us knew the entire letter off by heart. And yet, she insisted on reading it to us.

      "Dear Miss Laeyan," Lae read ecstatically. "They called me miss, how cool? I am writing to you to congratulate -- congratulate, me? -- on your fabulous story - hah, fabulous, beat that Sari! -- I found the characters well built and 'rounded' -- rounded, how cool? -- and the plot left me on the edge of my seat! I hope you continue writing, yours sincerely -- blah blah blah. But how cool? Wanna hear it again?"

      "NO!" Drushii, Zayei, Jero and I yelled frantically.

      "No, it's fine," I added. "Seriously, I couldn't dream of spoiling your moment."

      A knock at the door stopped Lae from reciting her letter again and she disappeared. A few minutes later, she appeared in the living room with a large sack full of letters. On the side of the sack was printed, 'Miss Laeyan, 3229 Ixi Meadows, Meridell.'

      "Guess what?" Lae grinned. "More fanmail! Let's read them!" She pulled out one letter and slit the envelope, ignoring our groans of disbelief. "Dear Miss Laeyan…"

      "Where's a timely random event when you need one?" Jero murmured as Lae babbled on, either ignoring or not hearing him. "I'd catch Neomonia to get out of this."

      "That makes two of us," Zayei added, surprising us all. It was a mark of how terrible the situation had become really, that Zayei and Jero were willing to catch diseases to quit listening to Lae's ego. And honestly, I was starting to wish I could get it, too.


The next morning, Lae came downstairs dressed in a long black dress and a pair of sunglasses, despite the fact there was no sun in the entire country (Meridell was in severe storms at that point.) and she didn't own a dress. I realised, with a small jolt, it was actually my dress -- Lae had merely cut the body in half. Without asking. With a smirk, she said to me, "I would like pancakes, not too hot, with Syrup and a glass of strained Orange juice. If you could bring the mail with you, it would be nice."

      "Anything else?" I said incredulously. Lae looked thoughtful for a moment.

      "Oh, and vase of roses. Hand picked from Zayei's garden."

      And with that she disappeared into the dining room, yelling "Chop chop!" behind her.


The next day, Lae was getting ridiculous. She asked Zayei to give me an order for the breakfast to be delivered to her room -- Faerie Pancakes (From Faerieland, fresh!) and a glass of orange juice in a plain glass. She also asked for us not to disturb her, as she was still 'swamped in Neomail, 'darling,' and 'quite unable to speak to us.' But, she assured us; she could 'pencil you in for a few minutes Friday.'

      "This is getting stupid," I said as Zayei told me her latest demands - her own study. "I mean, the breakfast was… a bit over the top, but her own study? We need to stop her, before her ego takes over the world!"

      "But how?" Zayei replied thoughtfully.

      "I have no idea," I sighed.


"Are you sure this is... legal?" Jero whispered. "I know keeping to the law isn't exactly something you care for, but I mean, Lae would kill us!" The reason for Jero's fear was in front of us. 3 large bags of fanmail, all addressed to 'Miss Laeyan,' were piled on our lounge. We had decided to destroy them, hoping the lack of fanmail might return Lae's ego to a semi-manageable state.

      "There's no law that says you can't destroy your own mail," I shrugged.

      "But this isn't our own mail," Drushii pointed out hesitantly.

      "Want to put up with Lae's ego?" I asked pointedly.

      "Anyone got a match?" Zayei said politely, grinning. I grinned and reached into the sack, pulling out a letter.

      "If we're destroying them, it can't hurt to read one first," I shrugged and slit the envelope. I read the first few lines and felt my jaw drop. "No way!" I exclaimed and pulled out a second one. And then a third, fourth, fifth. "No way, I can't believe her…"

      "What?" Zayei said, grabbing a letter. He quickly read it and exclaimed in an incredulous tone, "She's got a nerve."

Jero and Drushii both grabbed a letter from the bag, slitting the envelope and reading through quickly. "Jeez," Jero sighed. "She's written her own fanmail!" He shook his head, grabbing a few more. As we read more and more of the letters, it became apparent only two or three were real fanmail out of about 50.

      "What are we going to do with them?" Zayei asked finally.

      "I've got a pretty good idea," I grinned evilly.


"Sari, phone CloudBunnie and tell her I have to reschedule the nine O'clock meeting." Lae said lazily, coming down the stairs. I winked at Zayei.

      "Sure, busy then?" I smiled sweetly.

      "Incredibly. These fans, one person's asked for my autograph," Lae said with a roll of her heavily lined eyes.

      "Oh, you mean like a miss 'Lay?'" I said, pulling out a letter. "It's amazing how similar it sounds to you. And this Mr Liya. And another one.. A Mr and Mrs L. A. Eyan?" I smiled at Lae, knowing she was caught out, but not taking any satisfaction, despite her lies and the fact she's driven us stir crazy for 4 days, I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed. That's what I told everyone anyway.

      Lae, thankfully, had the decency to look sheepish. "Could you phone Cloud and tell her I suddenly have an opening?" she grinned.


A week later, and we'd kinda forgiven her. True, I'd heard rumours that Zayei had 'asked' Lae to weed his garden (No small feet, I might add.) Jero had Lae give Spiceymeat a bath, something even the bravest of souls refused and I hadn't even heard about Drushii. And me?

      "Pancakes. Not too hot either, with syrup and a sprinkle of chocolate. Now, chop to it. If you need to speak to me, I might pencil you in for 5 minutes on Thursday, darling."

The End

Authors note: Thanks chokatoh for helping me to think of a plot end ^~ Also thanks be to sweetviolet86 for proof reading! Feedback is worshipped, thanks!

Week 108 Related Links

The Aisha Legends: Falling Snow -- Part Four
"Quickly, behind that! Then we can scout the place from cover."

by oily106

Searching for the Stars: Part Nine
Thinking her twin would give something back to her, Ajliso drew out a basic but complex plan on blueprint...

by adoriblelapin

Search :
Other Stories

The Turnip Pie Contest
 “Well, the big restaurant near school is holding a contest. They’ll give a prize of 25,000 NPs to whoever presents them with the most impressive turnip pie.”

by hippiesoul

Steyria Finds a Friend
“Why won’t anyone play with me?” Steyria asked aloud. “I can be fun.”

by beau_lis

The Sinister Camarilla: Veg’s Claim to Fame
 “Now,” continued K.P, “here’s the deal. You give me all o’ dem healthy goods without a fussin’, and I give you da ‘points. Got it, slime?”

by wolfofthewoods

The Field
Pri tells the story of her life and how a simple peice of an ordinary land can become something extraordinary.

by roxycaligirl101

A Very Faerie Switch
"Your punishment is to spend one day in each other’s shoes."

by covergirl_tanemura

Neopets | Main | Articles | Editorial
Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series | Search