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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 13th day of Swimming, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 90 > Articles > Manual For the Neopets Challenged

Manual For the Neopets Challenged

by stoneman3x

A MESSY DESK - I recently received a Neomail from someone asking me if I knew what all the different colors you could paint a Shoyru were. I replied that I didn't know, but there was a list at the Rainbow Pool. This person then wrote back and asked, "Where is the Rainbow Pool?" I was suddenly very worried about this person, so I checked their User Lookup. It said they had been playing Neopets for six months. I was no longer worried about this person. I was stark-staring petrified for this person.

It seems that there are people out there who aren't Newbies but who haven't quite gotten the hang of day-to-day living in Neopia. This guide is for them and may the Faerie Queen help us all.

How To Log In

If you aren't logged onto Neopets, you will get a page that says "Oops! You cannot view this page because you are not logged in, or perhaps you have not created an account yet!" This means you are not logged in yet. This is a bad thing. It means you can't play Neopets. But don't burst into tears yet! This problem can be fixed. All you have to do is log in. The first thing you need to do is to type your username in the box that says "username". This is not your real name. This is the weird name you picked when you signed up for Neopets, like "I_fall_down_alot_thud".

The next thing you need to do is to type your password into the box that says "password". You are NOT supposed to pick a word at random and type it in. You need to type in the word you picked as your password when you signed up for Neopets and they warned you not to forget so you wrote it on the back of your hand with an ink pen. If you have forgotten your password because you washed your hand, you can do one of two things. You can type your username into the box that says "Forgotten your password?" or you can sign up for a new account. I highly recommend doing the first option first. Your password will be sent to the e-mail address you gave when you signed up for Neopets. You should only do the second way if you have forgotten the password to your e-mail account too. And next time don't use a soap that cleans so well.

How To Find Your Neopoints

When you signed up for Neopets and created a Neopet you got some numbers called Neopoints. Neopoints are like money except that you can't accidentally lose them. They are floating around your account somewhere. I will now tell you where you can go to find them. Think of it as a treasure hunt. On the left side of almost every page in Neopets is a sort of yellowish colored side bar. This is called the "yellow side bar". If you don't see the yellow side bar on your left, trying looking on your OTHER left.

Near the very bottom of the bar are three things. One thing says "user". If the word next to that seems familiar it's because it is your username. If you have forgotten what a username is, go back to "How to Log In" and start reading this article again. Do this as many times as it takes. I promise I won't write another thing until you get back. Are you back now? Great. Under your username is a word that says "pet". This is the name of one of your pets. This will also be a very weird name like "star_spangled_mudwump". I hope I haven't lost you yet, because there is only one more thing to go. Underneath the name of your pet are two letters. These letters are "NP". NP stands for Neopoints. The number next to the letters "NP" is the amount of Neopoints you have "with you". Think of it as a sort of Neopian wallet.

If you click on that number it will take you to page where that number is really really big. This doesn't mean you have more Neopoints. This means the font size is really really big. This page will explain to you what Neopoints are and will tell you some ways to make more of them. If it seems like too much reading to you, I will summarize what the page says about how to make Neopoints. Here is my summary:

Play games.

How To Find Stuff

The next part is a little trickier, so try to keep up. Click on the word "shops" in the yellow side bar. The word "shops" is next to a teeny little picture of a grocery cart. When you click on that it will take you to a place called "Neopia Central". This is where most of the important stuff in Neopia is. If you are fuzzy about what the difference between "Neopets" and "Neopia" is, here are the definitions for you.

Neopets: Website. Pets.
Neopia: World. City.

Okay, now that we have cleared that up, let's get back to Neopia Central. Along the top of the page is a horizontal bar with a lot of pictures on it. If you want to know what these things are, all you have to do is hold your mouse over them. I highly recommend you hold your computer mouse over them, because if you hold a real mouse over them nothing will happen except maybe your pet rodent will get bored.

However, to start you off, I will tell you what the one on the far left-hand side is. In case you're still having trouble with your other left, it looks like a dish of ice cream. If you click on the dish of ice cream it will take you to "Your Items". "Your items" are the things that you have somehow managed to get through an incredible stroke of genius, like free omelette. They will be sitting there in rows of little square boxes.

If you have managed to get something but it isn't in your item box, then there is a good chance that you put it somewhere else. Two other places to look for your things are your shop and your safety deposit box. Your shop is where you try to sell your stuff to make Neopoints. Your safety deposit box is where you put things that nobody wants to buy but you are so emotionally attached to that you can't bear to donate them to the Money Tree. Like a Pile of Sludge.

How To Get Stuff

If you are poor, and I would be incredibly shocked if you weren't, there are several places to get free stuff. Free stuff is stuff you don't have to pay for. It is given to you for free. The only drawback is that you can only do these things once a day. If you try to do them more than once a day your computer will explode, you will get frozen with a Rainbow Frost Cannon and all of your Neopets will die. If none of these things should happen though, then I guess it is your lucky day and you simply get nothing for trying the second time except maybe a nasty message.

However, if you really have your heart set on trying for hours to get free stuff from the same place, I suggest you try the Money Tree. It is located in Neopia Central. In fact, it is near the center of Neopia Central. If you don't know what the Money Tree looks like, then I will give you a hint. It looks like a tree.

If you want to know where to go to find free stuff, there is one single really cool button you can click. It's on the famous yellow side bar. It's labeled "explore". If you click on it, you will be taken to a map showing all the different places in Neopia. All you have to do is check out all of the different worlds. Most of them have at least one place in them where you can get something for free. Of course, once you have checked out all the worlds and you know where everything thing is, you can no longer ask total strangers where to go to find stuff. I know this takes all the fun out finding out where things are, but you learn to live with annoying things like that.

How To Get Rid of Stuff

If you happen to be sitting in your item box, which may or may not be uncomfortable for you, there is a string of words just below that cool horizontal bar that has the picture of the dish of ice cream and two pets whacking each other on it. The first few words are:
Jump to : Your Items | Quick Stock | Shop Stock | Deposit Box | Trading

Clicking on "Quick Stock" will take you to a selection box that will give you four options. Two of those four options actually sends your stuff back into the hazy world of cyberspace. This means you can donate all the junk you grabbed off of the Money Tree to the Money Tree so you have room in your item box for more junk from the Money Tree. Exciting concept, huh?

If you don't have the patience for the five to seven minutes it takes to set up a shop and pick out a shopkeeper for it, you can always use the Trading Post to sell your 5 and 10 Neopoint items. A good idea is to look up everyone who is selling omelette at the Trading Post and send them Neomail. Ask THEM what their winning strategy for making Neopoints is.

How To Feed Your Pet

If you click on an item in your item box, you will get a pop-up window of options of what to do with that item. If the option is something like "add to room 4855171" this means you have selected furniture and should click on something else. If the option is something like "play with Superneodumdum" this means you have selected a toy and should click on something else. If the option is something like "equip Superneodumdum " this means you have selected a weapon and should click on something else. If you finally manage to get an option that says "feed to Superneodumdum" then you have hit pay-dirt-pie, so to speak, and you can now feed whatever you clicked on to Superneodumdum, or whatever the name of your pet is. If your Neopet is "dying" you may have to do this more than once.

How To Find Everything Else

Click on every single link in the Neopets site. You can start now. I'll wait for you. Excellent! You now know where everything is.

How To Log Out

There is a link on the lovely and useful yellow side bar under the one that says "Login!" This one says "logout!" There are several things you must do first because this is a very complicated process. First of all, you should to go to your refrigerator and get yourself a glass of milk and some cookies. You will need to build up your strength for this. Get very comfortable in your chair. I recommend getting some pillows to sit on. Then wiggle your fingers and crack your knuckles to loosen up your mouse-moving muscles. When you feel you are ready, take a deep breath and click on the word "logout". You are now logged out.

I fervently hope with every fiber of my being that this guide has been NO help to you whatsoever. If it has, please don't Neomail me to ask me how to send a message to stoneman3x. I'm saving that for "Manual For the Neopets Challenged: Part 52".

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