Neopedia : Captain Threelegs: How I Lost Me Leg
Aye, scurvy lads and lasses, let me tell ye about the time I lost me leg... Well, see, I'd just spent the past six months aboard the Peophintine, so by the time we were finally reachin' Krawk Island, me pirate pals and I were ready to hit the grog hall. Anyhow, on our way back from yet another memorable evenin' at one of Krawk Island's finer establishments, me old buddy Admiral Clawhammer comes up to me and says, "Ahoy, stripey, can I be trustin' ye with a secret?"
"Of course!" I says to 'im. So he tells me about a map he'd found, and how it were leadin' to a buried treasure.
"Do ye wanna come?" he asked. "We'll split the gold, fifty-fifty!"
I said it were soundin' like a deal, and agreed to meet 'im in the mornin'. But then I got an idea. Once he'd fallen asleep, I snuck into the Admiral's room and stole his map... easy as Iced Chocolate Cake! "By the time he wakes up," I thought to meself, "I'll be off with the gold!" Followin' the map, I went past the docks and through a thicket of bushes. The air were damp and musty as I stood before an abandoned cave. "Here goes nuthin'," I grumbled, then entered the cave.
Continuing me journey through the cave's narrow walkway, I were so busy thinkin' of all the ways to spend me newfound gold that I hardly noticed the skeletal remains that lay strewn across me path. Aye, it's funny, but I remember thinkin' at the time, "Arr! I should've brought along a bag... how am I gonna be carrying it all?" While ponderin' such a dilemma, that's when I saw, up ahead, a bright beam of light, which I knew had to be where me treasure awaited. Running towards the light, I jumped through the hole to find...
THE LARGEST KRAWK I'D EVER SEEN!!!
Aye, it must've been fifty feet long and weighed at least four tons! But there it were, starin' right at me! For a split second, I couldn't even run, I were so stunned by the sight of this enormous beast. It looked at me with the most menacin' scowl I'd ever seen, then let out a mighty roar that shook the cave like a rowboat in a thunderstorm!
The beast tried to intimidate me, but I weren't some fresh-faced waister! He took a swipe at me with his tail, but that massive Krawk, he were too slow; I swiftly dodged his clumsy attack, then reached for me cutlass, razor sharp and ready for war. "Aye, take that!" I yelled, while slashing the monster with me trusty sword. But, to me amazement, it seemed as though the sabre had hardly pierced the Krawk's leathery scales. Now, I were truly worried...
But that's when I were rememberin' the words of a wise old coat, Captain Crossblades, who told me about this one time when he were thrown overboard. After clinging to an emergency raft for nearly two days, the captain saw, off in the distance, the unmistakable sight of a Jetsam's fin. The Jetsam circled a few times, then moved in for the kill. Well, out of sheer desperation, Captain Crossblades socked the Jetsam square in the nose! Sure enough, the Jetsam swam off, disorientated and scared.
Left with little choice, I were decidin' to try the same tactic against the massive Krawk. I ran up to 'im, reared back, and took a wild swing at the monster. But, much to me dismay, the punch landed right in the middle of the Krawk's open mouth. "Aaargh!!!" I screamed as the beast bit down, taking me right forearm clean off. As much as losin' me arm were hurtin', I knew I couldn't give up, or else it'd be the end for me. So just as the Krawk beast prepared to finish me off, I ran for me life, barely pullin' meself up through the hole from which I'd entered his lair, then scurried to safety. And that's the story of how I lost me leg. As bad as it sounds, it certainly could've been worse. At least I lived to tell the tale!
Despite Cap'n Threelegs's magnificent tale, the word around Krawk Island is that there's not much truth to it. However, since the Cap'n is too embarrassed to admit that he lost his right foreleg in a freak Tombola accident, he continues to tell people about his "encounter" with the mighty Krawk beast. So, who cares if it's make-believe or not? Compared to the truth, the Cap'n's tale makes for a much better story....
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