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Neopets Poems

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Dr Sloth Day Special

A Gift For Dr. Sloth
by dollygrave

Alone sits old Dr. Sloth upon his throne
On the distant space station that he calls his home
As the Day of Giving grows ever so near
He is sad, for he has no one to hold dear


The Kaus drink their warm borovan
And the Shoyrus stuff their stockings
At the Starlight Celebration a Poogle is talking
About the gift he is giving to his friend, a Vandagyre
Won’t someone let Dr. Sloth in on the holiday cheer?


From Kreludor he watches and lets out a sigh
As he sees another Day of Giving go by
And just as he thought he missed out on the fun
A Grundo approaches, the littlest one


She hands him a present wrapped up with a bow
The meaning of this, Dr. Sloth does not know
He opens it up, and she runs quickly away
What could she be giving to him on this day?


Inside of the box is a pile of dung
Why should he get a gift? The grundos get none!
Nice presents are only for those who are good
So this season of giving, remember you should
Be kind to your owners, your friends and petpets
Or else who knows what sort of gifts you might get!

Dr Sloth Halloween Costume
by indulgences

I wish this item could be worn.
This costume is the best.
It features evil Dr. Sloth.
It's better than the rest.

It features skin so olive green.
Its head has tufts of hair.
You'll look just like the famous Sloth.
It's all you'll ever wear.

Its cloak is made of blackest cloth.
It's lined with reddest wool.
This cloak is so malevolent.
This cloak is beautiful.

For now, it isn't wearable.
I hope someday it is.
My heart belongs to Dr. Sloth.
My doting mind is his!

Sloth Appreciation Day Party Invitation
by fullonparanoid

This is just a quick invite
to an annual party sure to fright.

Your attendance is mandatory.
If you decline, you will be sorry.

We are gathering to appreciate Sloth.
Party attire will be all goth.

You must provide him with a gift.
Neglect to do so and punishment is swift.

A dish to share is also required.
It was to be catered but the chef was fired.

Do not plan on having fun.
You'll be counting the minutes until it is done.

He wants Pin the Tail on the Gelert.
And, yes, it will hurt.

All sorts of games for Sloth to cheer.
Games that all Neopets should fear.

There will be Nimmo baseball.
(Pray for the Nimmos, y'all)

A pinata Tonu and Duck, Duck, Chia.
You'll soon be begging for someone to free ya.

Do not worry, it does not last long.
Even though its existence is oh so wrong.

You will (should) survive it, do not fear.
Thankfully it comes only once a year.

You have one day to RSVP.
There is only one box to check, you see.

YES! is the only acceptable answer.
You do not turn down a necromancer!

Sloth Appreciation Day
by she_chose_love

Today is Sloth Appreciation Day,
a very interesting day indeed.
Today we take the time,
to give Dr. Sloth the thoughts that he needs.

On other Neopian holidays,
All of Neopia celebrates with cheer.
But on Sloth Appreciation Day,
some wish it came less than once a year.

This day is all about Dr Sloth,
Neopias most evil villan,
he has a black, black heart,
even colder than ice that has been chillin'.

Villans all over Neopia,
look up to Dr Sloth,
even though everyone else,
looks at him with loathe.

So lets take a moment,
To think of him today.
Happy Sloth Appreciation Day,
hip hip hooray!

Happy Sloth Appreciation Day!
by butterflybandage

Oh, Sloth!  You’re terrifying and grand!
If you’ll allow us please, we’d love to kiss your hand!
You’re tall and mysterious, so ferociously fierce,
And with that smirk, hearts you surely pierce!

Dear, Frank! Your hair is soft and green!
You’re absolutely the greatest villain we have ever seen!
You fight many battles, you’re the strongest of us all,
And with you at our command our plan cannot fall!

Oh, Doctor! You’re magnificently vile!
You can destroy a single fleet with your sickly smile!
Those faeries are unlucky, they’re up against a Boss,
All they can look forward too is one impressive loss!

Say, Dr. Sloth!  What else can we proclaim?
We look upon other villains with a real disdain!
You step on others, you have a saunter,
Knowing one day this world you’re sure to conquer!

Now, Dear Frank, let us plan ahead!
It’s your day so feed upon our eternal dread!
You’re the one in charge, we’re under your thumb,
We don’t even care when you call us filthy scum!

We bow to your evilness, we don’t despise your reign!
We live for the fright, we dance in the pain,
For you, our Evil Overlord, deserve appreciation,
Even if it’s us mere Grundos at the Virtupets Space Station!

Hug-A-Sloth
by kahlen369

Everyone knows and plays
That super fun, frustrating game
Splat-A-Sloth is what it's called
It's so much fun, you'll have a ball!

You watch and wait during your turn
For that stuffed Sloth to come unfurl
With a rolled up Neopian Times in hand
You're ready to go and give it a whack 

It's undoubtedly a fun game to play
But on this great annual Sloth day
I implore you to try a different game
One that is new but fun all the same

Hug-A-Sloth is what it's called
It's so much fun, you'll have a ball!
You play it by taking that stuffed Sloth
And giving it a firm, warm and happy hug!

Sloth, Oh Sloth!
by mystics715

Sloth, oh Sloth!
Old as time itself.
Computerized and mechanized, 
yet never did he melt.

Sloth, oh Sloth!
Saw ye the birth of pets.
Back when light first came to us,
and off were all the bets.

Sloth, oh Sloth!
But then, ideas came forth--
underground is where you’d stay,
to find out Neopets’ worth.

Sloth, oh Sloth!
To this day there you are.
Smoldering and cackling,
Neopia’s evil star.

Sloth, oh Sloth!
Oh please don’t keep your vow.
Slavery’s not meant for us--
not Bruce, not Lupe, not Kau!

Sloth, oh Sloth!
On this day we love you!
Science did not bear fruit this time...
we hope that that stays true!

To Sloth - With Love, From Fyora
by tsuki_the_noodle

Oh Frank J. Sloth have I ever told you?
Your eyes are so sparkly, like the morning dew
Your skin so green, a glorious hue;
I simply cannot stop thinking of the view
From your space station of Neopia below
And I was sort of hoping you'd be my beau...

Wait! Don't crush this letter, I implore!
...I know we've had our differences before,
But that doesn't mean I've thought you a bore...
I just was reluctant to open my heart's door,
To let you in, to feel the weight
Of my love for you, and to share my chocolate.

Are you still reading my silly confession?
Sloth, my heart, it's in your possession!
And I wouldn't be quick to call it obsession,
This new found love of mine, this nonaggression.
For I feel you may be the key to my heart,
You're the bees to my knees, I'm the sweet to your tart!

And sure all of the Neopians
May shout "That love is forbidden!"
But for every Hanso there's a Brynn
And Frank(ly), Sloth, I think you're a ten.
So would you make the pleasure mine?
Frank J. Sloth, would you be my valentine?

With Love,
Fyora

Dr Sloth Collections
by rurirawr

It's Sloth Appreciation Day,
Whatever shall I do?
Like all other Neopians out there,
Am I a huge fan too!

To show my dear admiration,
I plan to get them all.
Anything that resembles Sloth,
Of items big and small.

To wear clothes with the doctor's face,
Shows my utmost respect.
Accessories to match with it,
An outfit, so perfect.

Collect the tomes that date far back,
To read about his life.
His past achievements, goals and dreams,
And evil plans run rife.

The dolls and figurines, modeled,
After the mastermind.
Cards bearing Dr Sloth's profile,
Each copy I must find.

Knick-knacks, the last thing on my list,
I've achieved quite a feat.
And now to organize them all,
My collection's complete!

Thanks to Dr. Sloth
by dr_tomoe

The great misunderstood genius
of one Dr. Frank Sloth
can hardly be expected to be
understood by the uncouth.

For without his brains we would
not have many great things
such as the space food
like Planetary Onion Rings.

For without Dr. Sloth
there would be no Space Station
a lovely spot for tourists
or to plan Neopian Domination.

Nor would we know about the Lost Desert
for that was another grand scheme
They might say it was evil
but Sloth dared to dream.

Likewise, his grand intelligence
has brought mutations in Neopets
As we know, extra arms and eyes
are good, don't be upset.

Sure, some say he's evil,
a galactic terror, or worse.
I say they're just jealous
they didn't think of his plans first.

And while nobody is perfect
Although Dr. Sloth comes close
The many books he's written show
that he truly is verbose.

So remember Neopians that
you owe much to Dr. Sloth
So come to your knees and 
swear a loyalty oath.


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