"Commander Cutiepie," he shouted. "It is an honour to serve on this mission with you, sir. You are a legend in the Warf Rescue Team. If one day I am one-tenth as accomplished as you, I will be able to look back on my career proudly. Your skill and bravery will be sorely missed, sir!"

The older Warf squinted off into the gleaming horizon and sighed. "Lieutenant Buttons, the honour is mine. I cannot believe this is really my last mission. What a life it has been. I've been to the top of Terror Mountain, and dove down to Maraqua to help King Kelpbeard. That Snowager incident was a bit dicey, but we did it. But…" he continued, "each mission is a new one, and we cannot rest on our old accomplishments. Let us not get distracted. Are you ready, Lieutenant?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" shouted Buttons. "But...can you tell me about this mission yet? I cannot make out our landing zone. I do not even know who our target is."

"I'm sorry for that, Buttons," said Commander Cutiepie. "This is a highly critical mission. The orders are coming right from the top. That information is on a need to know basis…and you will need to know soon enough. But the gist of the mission is this: our target is very important, and Headquarters thinks they have credible information that they are in great danger. Our mission is to find them, protect them from danger, and get them home."

"Understood," said Buttons, though he wished he understood more than duty required him to feign. He pulled out a small electronic device with flashing blue and yellow lights with a large antenna.

"What is that thing?" said Cutiepie.

"Oh this?" asked Buttons sheepishly. "It's a Virtupets brand Rescue Communication Device. It should let us communicate with Headquarters, and help us home in on our landing zone. Although…" Buttons smacked at the side of it with his paw, but the blue and yellow lights continued to flash unfazed. "It doesn't seem to be working right now. I think we are getting some interference."

Commander Cutiepie hung his head and laughed. "I think I am getting out at just the right time. Things like this are showing my age. See, when I was your age, we would jump in the pitch black, finding our landing zone the old fashioned way. We would use our nose and instincts. Actually, one time…"

"U-um, Commander," Buttons interrupted. "Sir, hold that story." The lights on the RCD changed to a violent red. "We've got trouble…"

“… left si…!”

“I didn’t catch that, please repeat!”

“Pro… …coming …side!”

Buttons whacked the RCD again. “One more time!”

“Projectile incoming on your left side!”

Cutiepie and Buttons turned simultaneously and saw an acorn shooting straight at them. Through trained skill, they were able to maneuver their parachutes to dodge the incoming acorn.

“Close call. Keep your eyes peeled for other obstacles!” Commander Cutiepie ordered as they continued their descent. They were able to easily navigate their way down with the assistance of Button’s RCD. Cutiepie gave a small chuckle. “I guess that gizmo did prove itself useful.”

The RCD came on again. “Prepare for landing! Your current trajectory is leading to an open field. No adjustments need to be made, there seems to be no issues ahead.”

The pair landed on the ground with ease, and they unhooked themselves from their parachutes. Buttons looked around, unfamiliar with the territory. “Sir? Where are we?” …

Lieutenant Buttons looked out across the open field which spanned his entire horizon. The tall grass was brimming with wildflowers and buzzing Springabees. For a moment, he wondered how the field got its name.

“Kadoatie Fields? Why is it called Kadoatie Fie-“ the Lieutenant was in the middle of asking when he discovered the answer. As his eyes adjusted, the Warf saw rustling in the grass and round heads of every color began to pop up out of the field. Green, Pink, White, Yellow, and the standard-colored Blue Kadoaties were emerging all across the meadow. 
“Wow,” Buttons exclaimed. “That’s a lot of Kadoaties.”

“It is indeed, comrade. It is indeed,” the Commander said, clapping his Warf colleague on the back.

“What are we doing here?” Buttons asked as he packed away his parachute in his bag.

“The Kadoaties need our help, kid, and they aren’t just stuck in a tree this time,” Cutiepie responded gravely.

“Hello, Warf Rescue Team. We’re relieved that you’re here,” a voice purred from behind them…

Buttons turned to see a beautiful Royal Kadoatie standing before them, her golden crown sparkling in the sunlight. The prism of Kadoaties across the meadow grew silent before the figure.

Commander Cutiepie bowed and quickly put his paw on Buttons' back, signalling him to do the same.

"My queen, we came as soon as your message was received. My deepest condolences about the disappearances. I promise you, we will find them and bring them home."

Buttons nodded along with his Commander, though this was the first time he had heard about a disappearance.

The queen smiled, but her eyes grew dark as she whispered, "Those Kadoaties did not simply disappear. I have reason to believe they were kidnapped by..."

Commander Cutiepie gasped. "But the PPL is designed to... you know, PROTECT Petpets! Why would they be kidnapping your subjects?" 

"Not subjects, but friends. I built Kadoatie Fields with my bare paws, for Kads to live together in peace, harmony, and prosperity." The Queen shook her head sadly. "While it is true that we here have a self-sufficiency unseen since the closure of Petpet Park, other Kadoaties, like those on the streets in Neopia Central, do not yet share our good fortune. We have sent various envoys to the big city with the goal of proselytizing to the downtrodden street Kads, encouraging them to move to the Fields, where they will be accepted and cared for." 

She wiped away an incipient tear before she narrowed her eyes. "The PPL thinks it's better for street Kads to go into the Kadoatery, to be fed and eventually adopted by Neopets." A ferocity descended on her demeanour like fire. "It is Kad subjugation, and completely at odds with my life's work! We are practically at war! So of COURSE the PPL is trying to shut us down by taking away and locking up my people who venture too close to Neopia Central!" 

Buttons stared into the Queen's eyes. He could almost get lost in them... she seemed so determined, poetic, beautiful... but he sensed shadows behind her fierceness. As though a vague darkness shrouded her soul. 

Buttons blinked and the feelings evaporated. The Warf took a step back. "We'll do everything we can to bring them home." 

The Queen nodded and gave a regal bow. "Do so, and Kadoatie Fields will be in your debt, honourable warriors." The Kadoatie stood straight and handed over a photograph. "While all my Kads are of utmost importance to me, my right-hand Kad, Dr. Megabyte, was captured during the PPL's last Kadoatie raid. He is to be brought back at all costs. My intel has reason to believe he is being held in the Kadoatery. But before his capture, he managed to capture this photo of whom we think is behind the kadnappings, and it was delivered to us by 1337 -- one of the Kads here in the Fields who narrowly escaped being locked in the Kadoatery." 

Buttons's eyes widened as he looked at the evidence he was presented. It was a photo of...

"This is bad," he murmured - three words Buttons had never imagined the living legend uttering. But before he could ask, Cutiepie turned back to the Queen, offering her a gallant bow. "You were right to call us here, your Highness. We'll take it from here."

"See that you do," the Queen said snidely. "And remember - it is these Fields where my Kads belong!"

That was a royal dismissal: all the Kads slowly melted back into the surrounding grasses, as her Majesty departed with a entourage of attendants. Only when they were all gone did Cutiepie look Buttons in the eye, expression grave.

"We have to move fast and carefully," Cutiepie said. Buttons saw the colour had all drained from his face - something no parachute drop had ever managed. "If Catchem Schnell is involved, things may be dire."

Buttons couldn't help it; he gasped at loud. "I've heard that name! It's in all our unsolved case files!"

"Yes," Cutiepie said, eyes faraway. "She's plagued us for many years - she's my arch nemesis."

"Why would she be involving in kidnapping Kads?"

"We'll ask her just as soon as we've captured her!" Cutiepie said fiercely. "This is a sign, Buttons: before I can retire, I have to see Catchem Schnell brought to justice. Now follow me - I have an idea of where she could be..."

“Where are we headed, Commander?” Buttons asked, marching dutifully behind his first in command.

“The Neopian Petpet Shop. The Usul shopkeeper there is known to feed the stray Petpets around her shop… She often catches them to rehabilitate and then post for adoption in her shop, but, of course, Catchem Schnell can’t be caught herself,” Cutiepie explained. “We’ll travel there and then stay in hiding until nightfall when the strays come out to eat.”

“Roger that,” the Lieutenant said with a nod.

The two Warfs travelled as fast as their short, stumpy legs could carry them from Kadoatie Fields all the way to Neopia Central. It took them until nearly dusk to make it to the alleyway behind the shop. The pair hid in a bush Kaddy-corner to the back door of the store, waiting for the shopkeeper to place her food and the horde of hungry Petpets to come running.

It didn’t take long for the auburn-haired Green Usul to open the door cheerfully and place down three bowls of water and three bowls of food all while she hummed a tune and smiled to herself.

And it didn’t take long after that for Petpets to start showing up for their dinner. Cutiepie and Buttons watched as Cobralls slithered, Angelpuss waddled, and Puppyblew ran all towards the bowls. In the small crowd that had begun to gather, the Warfs saw a quick, slick streak of black and white.

“There!” Cutiepie whispered, pointing a stubby arm towards the Schnelly. “I’ll take the front, you take the rear. Move out!”

With that, the Warf Rescue Team bolted for their target…

"Ah, at last!" said Catchem Schnell, her whiskers twitching with pleasure. Even while Buttons and Cutiepie positioned themselves to block her in a corner, she went on pleasantly, "The Warf Rescue Team's reaction times certainly aren't what they used to be. Why, I had to let those Kads capture me on camera to get you to show up!"

"Enough monologuing, Schnell," Cutiepie said fiercely.

At his voice came the first touch of real emotion to Schnell's face - she blinked in surprise, then squinted at them in turn. "Cutiepie?! I thought you were retired!"

"Not until I deal with you!" said Cutiepie fiercely.

Schnell continued to stare at the commander with clear shock. "Goodness, you got old - you know, I can recommend you a nice hydrating night cream for those wrinkles. You certainly need it."

"Don't you dare speak to the commander disrespectfully!" Buttons said, jumping fiercely into the verbal fray. "He's the one who tracked you here! Now, tell us what you've done with the Kads!"

"Quiet, toddler," Schnell said, sparing Buttons only a single disdainful glance. "The grown-ups are talking. Now, Cutiepie, surely you've seen that self-styled Kad queen doesn't care about anything except playing monarch. Kidnapping - pah! I helped those Kads escape her regime. You're going to try to bring me in for helping others, are you? You think those charges will stand in the Petpet Court of Law?"

"That's a question for the arbitrators," Cutiepie said. "But we'll certainly do our part by bringing you in. Buttons?"

Buttons was ready; he quickly produced a pair of paw-cuffs and waved them at Schnell, while glowering fiercely. The thief tsked, shaking her head.

"I thought you'd see reason, this time," she sighed. "Well, if you insist on a fight - henchmen!!! Spring the trap!"

How will this story end?

"Oh trust me, you'll end up just hurting yourself," the Schnelly giggled confidently.

At once, a Cobrall slithered around Buttons. The spry but inexperienced Warf could only flail helplessly as he realized his paw-cuffs were useless on a creature without paws!

Meanwhile, an Aisha and a Puppyblew had Commander Cutiepie surrounded. The elder Warf took a battle stance, he could take them--

And then he realized they were wielding some Virtupets brand weaponry.

"Ugh!" he groaned. "Where are the days of classic fisticuffs?"

"Wait, your RCD!" Buttons squealed as the Cobrall wrapped around his neck. "I can't believe, eurgh, I didn't think-- look for the, ack, defense and attack buttons!"

"But you're Buttons!" Cutiepie felt his anxiety rising as he fiddled aimlessly with the device. But he had no idea what he was doing, and though he put up a valiant effort, he lost to the cyberpunk henchpetpets.

Catchem Schnell just shook her head with a sad smile before she glanced at her nemesis. "Cutiepie, you know I love ya', so believe me when I tell you that your retirement is long overdue." She laughed to herself as she sashayed away. "Come on boys," she sang to her henchpetpets. "To the Kadoatery!"

***

Buttons and Cutiepie were led to a back "Employees Only" room in the Kadoatery. The henchpetpets had long since loosened their grip, and the Warfs could easily have escaped. But Catchem was leading them, supposedly, to Dr. Megabyte and the other Kads... and Cutiepie had known her long enough to know when she had a trick up her sleeve, and when she just wanted to gloat in his face, and this sure sniffed of the latter.

"Proudly presenting... Dr. Megabyte!" Catchem exclaimed as she showed off her catch, behind bars.

The pink Kad just waved from three cells above them.

"And how do we know that's the REAL Dr. Megabyte?" Button inquired.

"Quick," Cutiepie interjected, "what did you photograph and who took it to the Queen?"

"That Schnelly there, and 1337," the captured Kad said matter-of-factly.

Buttons's eyes narrowed. "Is it true you let yourself be captured to escape the Fields?" he asked, his heart pounding.

"It is true," he said levelly.

The Warfs deflated as Catchem Schnell cackled and danced about. "I told you soooo!" she chided, cantabile. And then she commanded her henchpetpets to leave, wanting to savour this victory against her nemesis, all to herself. The Warfs just stood there, dumbfounded and defeated. Buttons let the paws-cuffs slip from his grip, and they fell to the cold concrete with a loud clang.

"Could you let me out?" Megabyte asked. "It's awfully cramped in here, and high up. I like to look my adversaries in the eyes when I monologue to them."

"Of course, of course," Catchem agreed, grinning. She leapt up and, mid-air, unlocked the cage with her paw-pad.

Megabyte deftly jumped to the ground to meet the others. "I let myself be captured because I was tired of sitting idly by while the Queen continued her terror," the Kad continued, frowning, pacing about, and the others followed. "Yes, Kadoatie Fields is a land of 'peace, harmony, and prosperity' -- but only for those Kads who worship the Queen, share her views, and don't step out of line. Those who do... it's the labour or re-education camps for them." He shuddered. "1337 was the Queen's second in command before I took the position, but she started questioning the Queen's motives, wondering why the Queen needed to keep such tight control on the thoughts and actions of her citizens. Well, 1337 got her re-education, and the Queen asked me to step up. And... I did. I thought I could be a reformer, help temper the Queen." He paused. "But that didn't work. Deep down, I think the Queen means well. She's just terribly misguided."

"So you see," the Schnelly announced as she spun to face the Warfs, "Dr. Megabyte is here, ready and waiting to be rehomed to a Neopet. Soon, we'll show all of the little Kads in the Fields how wrong and brainwashed they are, and they'll all flee here, and then into a nice Neopet's arms."

"But you and the PPL you work for are misguided, too." Megabyte said from behind her as a loud click was heard.

Catchem turned, seething, as she realized the Kadoatie had cuffed her. "After all I did for you! Why you no good--"

"Just because Kadoatie Fields isn't free, doesn't mean you should be kidnapping its Kads. Yes, many want out. But many are happy where they are. Similarly with re-homing street Petpets to Neopets... it works for some, but certainly not for all. And while we're waiting to be rehomed, we're stuck in little cages, and some meet worse fates! But frankly, to force your convictions on all creatures... you aren't any better than the Queen. And that's why I had to conspire to turn you in, too."

The Warfs were in shock. Catchem Schnell, through unbridled rage, called for her henchpetpets. While they came to her aid, they were woefully disorganized; though they had technology, Buttons -- not caught by the element of surprise -- managed to subdue them with his own tech.

"Real self-determination comes from within," Dr. Megabyte finished. "Not from any ideologues telling you what's best for you. What's best for me, is to be free. I will help you subdue the Queen, as I helped secure Catchem."

Buttons nodded. "I knew it, I saw it in the Queen's eyes..." He then turned to the struggling Schnelly, who appeared bitterly forlorn. "Now, let's get her brought her in to the arbitrators!" he exclaimed, wide-eyed, to his Warf Rescue Team idol.

Commander Cutiepie's face fell. "Yes... let's. But..." he turned to the Schnelly. "I finally get you, I think. You have a vision for Petpets. It might be warped and involve petpetnapping, but you think it's right--"

"It IS right," the Schnelly said through gritted teeth. "The best thing for Petpets is for them to be cared for by Neopets."

Commander Cutiepie nodded slowly, but his expression was one of vague disagreement. He had always admired the self-sufficiency of Kadoatie Fields, but... perhaps for its idea, rather than its execution. "Like I'll do for the Queen, I'll argue to the arbitrator to get you a light sentence," he affirmed his nemesis.

"Ew!" she uttered, aghast. "Not from the likes of you, Oldiepie!"

Meanwhile, Buttons fiddled with his RCD. "And, our location has been sent to Rescue Team HQ," he said, walking up to Cutiepie, interrupting the moment. "I've cleared the area as safe, and reinforcements are coming quickly."

"Excellent." Cutiepie released a big exhale as some Warfs came in and started to carry a screaming Catchem away. Other Warfs let some of the locked Kads go free -- "but only those who want to go free," the Commander ordered.

The Warfs discussed a bit with Megabyte about when to head back to the Fields. Cutiepie thanked him, and the Kad was on his way.

"Well, after all this," Cutiepie said privately to his lieutenant, "I'm certainly glad to be retiring."

"Because you finally caught your nemesis?" Buttons asked inquisitively.

"Yes... but no."

"Because the technology thing?"

"I despise it, sure, but no, not quite that either." He gave an almost tired smile. "There are just... more shades of grey now than I grew up with. Or maybe it's always been that way, and we were all too clear-cut and idealistic. Maybe, in the end, both sides can be wrong... or right. In their own ways."

"And this wisdom is just one example of all that I can still learn from you, Commander, sir!" The younger Warf paused. "So... before you retire, will you join me assisting Megabyte to carry out the rest of this mission, at least?"

"I would be honoured to finish my final mission with you, Lieutenant Buttons," Cutiepie said with a grin.

Buttons saluted him. "The honour is all mine."

The End.