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Storytelling Competition - (click for the map) | (printer friendly version)

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Week 847
You are on Week 848
Week 849

Every week we will be starting a new Story Telling competition - with great prizes! The current prize is 2000 NP, plus a rare item!!! This is how it works...

We start a story and you have to write the next few paragraphs. We will select the best submissions every day and put it on the site, and then you have to write the next one, all the way until the story finishes. Got it? Well, submit your paragraphs below!

Story Eight Hundred Forty Eight Ends Friday, September 11

Donny stared into his hot cocoa. His thoughts drifted to a time when him and his father lived in a warmer climate. With beaches, and sand, and calming winds. The door to the cabin swung open and quickly brought Donny out of his daydream.

"That's a nasty one out there, I tell ya!" said Donny's father as he came barreling into the cabin. Wally was a sizable Bori who had no trouble shutting the door behind him despite the blast of cold air that had followed him inside.

"Y'alright?" Donny asked his father.

"Yeah, alright," Wally answered. He shook himself clean of the fresh coating of snow he just endured. Wally removed his hat and jacket and hung them up next to the door. "Pity we had to close up shop early today. I knew it was a good idea keepin' ya home from school," Wally said proudly.

"Yeah, you're right," Donny grinned in return. His father wasn't perfect but he always tried his best. Donny respected him and did what he could to help in return.

"Enough for your old man?" Wally nodded at the cocoa in Donny's hand.

"Of course!" Donny said. He got up to grab his father a mug as Wally came into the dining area to sit. The crackle of the fire was calming as the storm began to get worse outside. "I'm glad you got home safe an' sound," said Donny as he handed his father a steaming mug of hot cocoa. Wally allowed the mug to warm his hands for a moment then took a sip before setting it down on the table.

He was about to speak when suddenly there was a loud knock at the cabin door.

Author: metakitsune
Date: Aug 31st
"Hm. Strange," Wally muttered, slowly standing to investigate the mysterious noise. Donny shuddered a bit, his nerves getting the better of him. Who could it be?

"There's no one here," Wally growled. "Prob'ly just the wind. How 'bout we find a nice book to read together?"

"No, wait," Donny said. "I see somethin'."

Out of the corner of his eye, he'd caught a glimpse of something brown. A box, already partially hidden under a layer of white powder. "There's somethin' in the snow."

Author: smartypants3195
Date: Sep 1st
Wally's response was instantaneous, his words rushed.

"The door locked?" Donny opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted. "Lock the door."

"Huh? Why?" Donny asked. Wally was already walking over. He pushed Donny aside and checked the lock. It clicked audibly as he fiddled with it, then Wally peered out the window for just a second before pulling the curtains shut.

"What's going on?"

"Quiet," Wally whispered, "an' listen."

Donny fell silent, obeying his father's wishes. He lifted his ears to get a better listen. Wind howled outside the cabin walls, and they creaked as nature banged mercilessly against the wooden structure.

Then, Donny noticed it, a faint noise in the background.

Author: shyslice
Date: Sep 2nd
It started off as the most beautiful thing Donny had ever heard. Female voices singing in chorus, whispering for him to open the door again.

He glided toward the window, just one small peak couldn't hurt?


As Donny's eyes sat watching the box, it hummed and glowed with soft light. His father, frantically searching through the cupboards for something, muttered under his breath "Not now. It's too soon..."

As Donny kept looking at the beautiful box, his troubles melting away, he felt the warmth of the shores he used to live in and the sound of the lapping waves he once knew.

Suddenly, the box began to shriek. Donny covered his ears from the piercing noise. It rattled and shook and banged against the door. The banging increased, with more and more force until the door came completely off its hinges.

"NO!" Wally shouted.

There it was. Donny and Wally stared at what lay in the open box.

Author: toastedmarshmallows
Date: Sep 3rd
It was a beautifully carved music box, now open: with not one, but three figures spinning inside. Donny gasped as he recognised the Drenched.

The figurines were all reaching forward, and Donny started toward them, attracted by a force he didn't understand. In doing so, he blocked his father's face for a moment, which shook him out of his own trance.

Wally grabbed Donny's paw and dragged him back inside and down behind the counter, breaking his eye contact with the box. Donny blinked and shook his head to clear the fog in his mind.

Wally returned to the cupboards and resumed his rummaging while Donny stared at him in renewed confusion. Finally, his father found what he was looking for. He reached into a cupboard and pulled out...

Author: t0tor0
Date: Sep 9th
"'ere," Wally grunted, tossing a cracked mirror to Donny. "Do NOT, EVER, under no circumstances, look directly into their eyes. Understood?"

"Y-yes father," Donny stammered. "Well now what do we do?"

"Don't be foolish like me an' meddle with things that ain't supposed to be meddled with." his father shook his head. "We need to get 'em back into the box. You gotta be careful though: you can touch 'em, but they're gonna try to get in your vision and trap you. That's why we'll use these." He patted his own cracked mirror. Donny nodded and cautiously stuck his mirror out around the corner. He rotated it until he saw them. They, on the other hand, snapped their heads toward the mirror the second Donny stuck it out. Donny stared at them in the mirror and between the cracks, he watched their mouths move as they started to chant in sync. Donny could not pull his gaze away from their bottomless black eyes. Slowly, they started to glow as if someone had placed embers inside of them. Despite only looking at their eyes through the mirror, Donny could feel their power. With enormous strength, he tore his gaze away and turned back to his father.

"Are you ready?" Wally whispered. Donny gulped, then nodded. "Let's go."

How will this story end?

Author: kellyclark1115
Date: Sep 10th
"I got 'ese mirrors from a dear friend, Jacques." Wally started to explain as he slowly moved his way around the corner. "Drenched are merciless and judging by how they found us, stubborn too."

Donny had more questions now than ever. "When you say Jacques, you mean you knew Jacques the Swift? The pirate?"

Wally stopped briefly and lowered his head. He looked to Donny, shame in his eye. "Aye...that I did. Jacques and me were mates. He was the only one to escape the Drenched. At least...until me. I have a confession son, but you can’t judge me for it! I was only tryin’ to protect yah!”

The realization started to set in for Donny. Unconsciously, he started to lower the mirror in his hand. “You,” Donny mumbled, “You didn’t get lost at sea that summer did you? Why did you lie to me?”

Wally used the mirror to reflect the image of the music box back at him. The figures were still glowing and the mouths seemed to be chanting, but no voice came out. They were not moving, as if they would let Wally finish his story first. Wally gulped, so the legend was true. He looked to his son, he couldn’t keep running any longer. He had to face the Drenched and he had to face his past. He looked straight at his son and took a deep breath.

“I lied to save yah...and save myself. It’s why they’re back...The Drenched are nothing to take lightly. When neopets fall overboard they save them-”

“They save them?” Donny interrupted, confused.

“That they do. They return yah land if your soul is good. But if you have something to hide or have been bad, they take you until you understand what you’ve done wrong. Jacques...well he may have more moral than other pirates, but he had stolen his weight in dubloons twenty times over. And for years, I helped them do it.” The bright light that was emanating from the three figures stopped. Donny and Wally both picked up their mirrors and could just make out the curled smiles on the figures.

“They took you because you were a thief?” Donny confirmed.

“And they followed me because I ran.” Wally deduced. “I wanted to keep you safe, so as soon as I got to shore I ran into Jacques who gifted me these mirrors. You were so young...and I was ashamed to tell yah…he warned me they would be back so I moved us as far away as I could. I’m sorry I lied to yah, son. That’s no way to lead by example.”

“I forgive you, dad. But what do we do now?” The figures in the music box began to sing, lovely and soft. The figures took each other's hand and began to spin. As they spun, their ugliness washed away. Their hair turned pure white and their tails shinned and glistened.

“I don’t think they’re mad at me anymore…” Wally chuckled. “I knew something was suspicious when Jacques started givin’ away his treasure...I guess I’ll be doin’ the same. Maybe then I’ll be free from the Drenched’s curse.”

“Does that mean we’re going home?!” Donny stood up in glee. He gasped, the music box. Behind him, the music box closed and slowly disintegrated into sand.

“By Fyora, I think it does. Donny, we’re goin’ home!” Wally cheered.

The End,

Author: cartoon01
Date: Sep 11th

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