"Well," said Cawf, sitting down on park bench beside her friend Haachew. "It doesn't really
matter, does it? I mean, we had a good two years at the top."
Haachew looked up from his hanging head. "Of course it does! We're the most talented duo that ever walked Neopia,
and we're going to stay that way."
Cawf sighed. "I wish I believed that, Haachew--"
"Gesundheit," Haachew said.
"Thanks, but I didn't sneeze." Cawf tried to continue his story. "Anyway, Haachew, I--"
"Gesundheit!" Haachew said, handing his Chia friend some tissue. "Must be something in the air!"
"Like I was saying, we're washed up. Finished. Our careers are over," Cawf explained.
"I don't believe that one bit," Haachew said. "I just think we need a new manager, someone who will get our
names back up on the marquee."
"You really think we could be headliners again? We don't even have any new material," Cawf said.
"Don't worry about a thing. I think I know someone who will help us Chias out," Haachew told his friend. He knew
that it was going to take more than a miracle to make Neopia love them again, especially after what they
did at their last show...
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Author: Neopets Staff
Date: 11 Feb.
|
..."Haachew, you do remember what happened at our last show, don't you?" asked Cawf, snapping Haachew out of his thoughts.
"Of course I do. Who could forget? It was so embarrassing..."
They both fell silent for a minute, remembering...
It was a late Saturday night. Cawf and Haachew were just finishing up their comedy routine, like they always did.
"I've been thinking Haachew--" Cawf would begin.
"Bless you!" Haachew would reply.
"Umm... anyway, as I was saying, Haachew--"
"Gesundheit!" Haachew would say once again, amidst the audience roaring with laughter.
However, on that horrible night, Haachew and Cawf were doing the sneezing routine, and not a single person laughed.
It was horrible. First there was silence. Then there was coughing. Then there were boos. And then, the most terrible thing of
all happened. Someone threw a tomato. One tomato turned into two. Two turned into five. And before you could say 'Holy Asparagus',
the entire audience was throwing tomatoes at poor Cawf and Haachew. Naturally, they ran out of town, and they hadn't been back
since. They didn't want to go back until they had new material, something that would make people laugh for sure. Unfortunately,
they had absolutely nothing so far...
Haachew and Cawf suddenly snapped out of their thoughts.
"Cawf, Cawf, Cawf! I've got it!" cried Haachew.
"You okay? Need some water?" Cawf asked...
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Author: pandagirl524
Date: 11 Feb.
|
..."Well," began Haachew, "we both know that we just aren't funny anymore."
"Obviously," stated Cawf.
"I mean we're getting older now, Cawf. You more visibly than me of course, especially with your sinking eyes, and have
you noticed how short you've gotten? I mean you're complexion is starting to worry me! You've never been so pale and--"
"Okay, Haachew! Stop boosting my ego!"
"Well, it's true. But anyway, I was thinking. A lot of older Neopian actors and comedians split up and then get back
together for huge public reunions complete with tears and hugs and of course, reruns of old comedy routines," Haachew
whispered eagerly.
"Yeah so? I watched one on TV the other night for that old comedian Hackincouf. He still isn't funny. I mean he was bad
but now he's just plain..." Cawf paused. "I think I see where you're going with this!"
"Exactly!" exclaimed Haachew, "We have a big public reunion, we revive our old act and because we're so old and washed out,
they'll love us! Perfect isn't it?!"
"Perfect!" said Cawf.
So the two washed up comedians put everything they had into this reunion. They called old friends and rented a whole beach on
Mystery Island. They called the Grundo Cafe to make the best food Neopia had ever tasted.
Finally the big day came. Haachew and Cawf were all set to make their grand entrance from opposite ends of the beach and
run in slow motion towards each other, meeting in the middle being cheered by hundreds of applauding fans. Soon they heard
their cue music being played. Guess this is it! Each ran out onto the beach.
"Haachew! Old friend, it's great to see...." Cawf began.
"Cawf! I've missed you old buddy! I..." Haachew stopped abruptly.
The two former comedians looked at each other and at their would be audience. No one was there! Not a single fan! The
two walked dejectedly off the beach.
"Maybe it's time we considered a career in fast food," began Cawf...
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Author: amila15
Date: 12 Feb.
|
...Haachew and Cawf trudged along the shores of the lonely beach.
"Gee, I thought this would work, Haachew-"
"Bless you!" said Haachew.
The two walked in silence until suddenly, a strange looking Moehog walked up to them. Cawf immediately recognised
this character as the very famous Gagginhack!
"Fellow NeoComedians!" he cried in delight as Haachew and Cawf exchanged excited looks. "What a surprise! Cawf and Haachew--"
"Gesundheit!" offered Cawf and Haachew in unison.
Gagginhack just stared at them. "I heard about the disaster at your reunion picnic. I came to offer my condolences."
Gagginhack picked up his briefcase and began to pull something out. "Now, I know it's not much, but I think it will
help you." From the briefcase he pulled out... a Cherry Wish Stick?
Haachew looked at Cawf. "Cawf, I don't know about this..." but Cawf was deeply absorbed in Gagginhack's conversation.
"Bought it myself at that Tiki Tack shop. Boy, those coconut people sure do appreciate good jokes. Anyway, here's the
wish stick. To use it, you just hop around on one foot, rub the stick, throw it up in the air and shout out your wish.
Now, I gotta go and do a show down in Tyrannia. Gedda Lacka!" Gagginhack roared with laughter as he walked off.
Cawf looked at Haachew. "C'mon Haachew, we--"
"Bless you!"
"Uhh, anyway. This wishing stick might work. Let's try it!"
So Cawf and Haachew hopped around on one foot, rubbing the stick. They threw it up in the air and shouted, "WE WANT TO BE FUNNY!"
The wishing stick disappeared in a pop of green smoke. "Nothing's happened Cawf..." Cawf handed Haachew a Neo cough Drop.
"Here, this'll help." They waited around for an hour, practicing jokes on each other. But nothing happened. Crestfallen,
they walked away.
Cawf was just about to comment on what a fake Gagginhack was when she tripped over a mound in the sand. As Cawf rubbed
her head, Haachew investigated. "Cawf, Cawf! I think it's a... A treasure chest!" Haachew began digging up the chest,
launching sand everywhere. When the duo finally dug up the chest, they opened it and found...
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Author: angelicunicorns
Date: 12 Feb.
|
...a bunch of old toys! There were rubber Lennys, and plastic asparagus. Luscious Lips, Chia
shaped erasers, Magic sets, and Fake Faeries. But the most valuable thing in there was an old joke book!
They blew off the dust, and began reading it. They laughed so hard that they almost wet their pants!
But while they were reading it, a note fell out. Cawf picked it up, and said, "Hey, look what I found!"
Haachew listened as Cawf read aloud...
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Author: ladymarmalade1233
Date: 13 Feb.
|
..."I bury these and hope that they are found by another NeoComedian. Use all of it well... signed Gagginhack! This
must be what he used to restart his career! We can use it too! Imagine the possibilities! These jokes will crack
people up like the Ice Caves!" exclaimed Cawf.
The two of them walked along the beach until they came to a NeoHome. They went in and asked to use the phone.
"Hello? Is this the Tyrannian Concert Hall? Yes, it's Cawf and Haachew..."
"Gesundheit"
"We need to book a night so we can perform our new act," continued Cawf.
"What? Yeah, right. You guys are has beens. No longer funny! That gesundheit joke can only be used so much!"
answered the voice on the line.
The duo sighed in despair as the Chia hung up the phone. "What to do now? Where to go..."
"I'VE GOT IT!" exclaimed Haachew, "We go to the...
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Author: zurgiea
Date: 13 Feb.
|
...Neopian Market! There are tons of pets there! They'll love it!"
Cawf smiled and sighed happily. "Let's go!"
They got out some lights, some disco music and a disco ball. "What a hit this will be!" the duo laughed together. Neopets had
come up while they were preparing everything, taken one look, seen who it was, and saunter off, giggling at the Chia's
bad comedy past.
It was time. They had decided to do their performance at night. Haachew was standing on stage, glugging a glass of water
and muttering one of the jokes. Cawf ran up to him. "Haachew! Haachew! Th-"
"Bless y-"
"Stop! We don't need that right now!"
Cawf hung his head and whispered the duo's troubles. "Haachew, there's nothing we can do. The lights... the batteries are dead.
No lighting. It's too late. We'll have to do it another time."
Haachew strode to his friend's side. "Then we'll just have to use lanterns!"
Cawf smiled. "Way to go!"
Cawf and Haachew went onto the stage. Cawf had placed a lantern on a nearby ledge and all around the stage, illuminating
the area. Haachew rested the joke book on the same ledge as the lantern.
There were a bunch of young Kacheek toddlers tumbling by, shooting pebbles and cracking jokes.
"Why did the Lenny cross the road?" one was giggling as his pebble poinged off a head.
His friend shrugged his shoulders and aimed. "Oooooo! Look at the purdy light!" He aimed for the lantern on the ledge.
"Look out!" Haachew cried, but it was too late. The pebble struck and broke the glass on the lantern and the flame went out
of control. The joke book didn't stand a chance...
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Author: littlelise
Date: 14 Feb.
|
...The flames engulfed the stage, closing in on the precious joke book. The two Chias rushed around as fast as they
could to get water in hopes to save their performance. The two ran back and forth with buckets, glasses, and hoses.
Nothing seemed to stop it.
Haachew didn't see the puddle of water as he ran with another bucket of water. Before he knew it, he slipped in the
water and was sliding across the stage.
"Heeeeeeeeeeelp!" Haachew shouted as he ricocheted off of the wall. Cawf ran to help his friend, but tripped over a
tangled hose and was sent tubmling head over heals into a bucket of ice-cold water sitting in the middle of the stage.
"Yeeeeeeeeeow!" Cawf jumped up, hopping around and shivering. "It's cold, it's cold, it's cold!"
Poor Cawf continued to hop around to warm himself until Haachew ran right into him. Cawf landed on his behind on the stage
and Haachew rammed, head first, straight into an empty bucket.
Haachew stood up and stumbled around, trying to make his way across the burning stage.
"Cawf??" He cried. "Cawf, where are you? Why is it so dark? And why is my head ringing?"
Cawf looked for Haachew from where he sat. Suddenly he smelled something burning. He looked down and then jumped
up in shock.
"Yikes! I'm on fire!" Cawf ran around the stage with the seat of his pants smoking behind him.
The two didn't notice a crowd of Neopets gathered around the fiasco. They were all pointing and laughing as the two ran
around in their helpless state. Suddenly, the stage started collapsing...
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Author: fairyangel26
Date: 14 Feb.
|
...The two Chias fell into the floor, screaming. When they finally hit the ground, there was total silence. Nobody
in the crowd made a sound. The two friends stood up. They were charred, wet, and dusty. The looked around at the
blank faces in the audience.
"This is it! We're done for! No one will ever want to see us again!" Haachew whispered to Cawf.
Haachew hung his head and began to cry.
"Look!" said Cawf, "Look at the audience!"
"What's to see?" answered Haachew, "I know they're making fun of us."
"No, no. Look!" cried Cawf earnestly.
Hesitantly, Haachew lifted his head and looked around. The people in the crowd were smiling, some laughing. Then,
suddenly, they all began to applaud!! They loved the show! The two comedians couldn't believe their eyes.
"Wow," said Haachew.
"C'mon, let's take a bow!" Cawf replied.
The two stood up as straight as they could amidst the rubble of the stage. The smiled, looked around at the crowd,
and took a bow. Cheers were sent up from the audience. This made the two even happier. They climbed out of the rubble,
and went to greet the crowd...
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Author: icy_princess102
Date: 15 Feb.
|
...but they all disappeared! Something was totally wrong. The blackness engulfed the two funny Chias.
When light finally came back to them, the were in the a white room. Cawf stared around and saw that her
friend was in a bed next to him. When she did sit up she gasped
"What happend?" Haawchew asked, looking around.
"Beats me! Maybe it was a dream! Man, I had the coolest dream that we got a new act and everybody loved us again!
Wouldn't that be neat Haachew?" Cawf mused.
"Wow! I had the same dream too! You were there, I was there, that nurse was there... NURSE?" the Chia gasped again.
"Well, well, well! I'm glad to see you two stars up and about!" the Gelert nurse smiled.
"What do you mean! Where are we?" the duo yelled at the Gelert.
"Well, last night, some lights fell from the supports and hit you two on the head and you both got knocked out. The
crowd was so worried about you two! They rushed you both to the hospital and that's where you are now!" The nurse
then left the room, leaving behind some breakfast for the comedians.
After finishing their meals they left their rooms and were mobbed by their new fan club.
Before they knew it, they were booked solid for shows and were signing autographs once more. The only down side is
that they always end up in the hospital after all their shows, and no, they don't so that stupid gesundheit joke anymore.
The End
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Author: laura2s040
Date: 15 Feb.
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