His Poogle companion sighed. "Of course it isn't on the map! I've been telling you for three days we are totally lost!"

"I don't see how! I've been following the map EXACTLY!" he said. "Oh, wait... ah, woops."

"WOOPS!?! What do you mean, 'woops'?" the Poogle demanded.

Larry blushed and turned the map 180 degrees. "Uh... I guess I had it upside down."

Trisha the Poogle began banging her head against a nearby palm tree. "Why me? Why me? Why me?" she chanted under her breath.

"Don't worry so much Trish! I have my trusty compass right here! The book I bought, Survival for Morons told me I'd need it, so I wouldn't get lost."

Trisha breathed a sigh of relief.

Larry pulled something shiny and silver from his pocket. "Darn, the little pencil fell out!"

"Little... pencil?" Trisha looked like her blue coat had suddenly been painted white, as she looked at the V-shaped mechanism Larry was holding. "You IDIOT! That's for drawing CIRCLES!!!"

"Huh?" said Larry, clueless.

"ARGH! I can't take it anymore!" Trisha trampled off into the dense jungle, furiously.

"Wait for me Trish! I'm sure it won't be THAT hard to find our way out of hundreds of square miles of dense and dangerous jungle! Besides, we still need to find the treasure!" he yelled, running after her...

She should have known that, with Larry, you never got what you or he were planning for.

Larry rushed up behind her. "Look I'm sorry Trish. You know what I'm like, I can get a bit carried away... but I need your help. Please stay?"

Trisha stomped on, growling and wondering what effect a Poogle bite would have on an unwary Techo.

"Now I bought this map from a Quiggle..." continued Larry, "who bought it from an Aisha who transcribed it from the squawkings of a Pawkeet who once belonged to a pirate!"

"I know! I know!" yelled Trisha still stomping onwards, "And this map shows the exact location of the burial tomb of a great Tiki chieftain and all his treasures!! I've heard it a hundred times, and If I hear it once mor--eeeeekkk!!!

Larry looked up from the map to see whether Trisha was shouting at him or someone else, but his friend had vanished.

He heard a groaning from down near his feet and, parting the undergrowth, he saw the edge of sandy pit. About 8 feet below, in an undignified pile, was Trisha.

"Oh my! Trisha!" cried Larry. In a trice he had carefully lowered himself down with the assistance of a vine and was at her side.

When she was on her feet and had brushed herself down, Trisha was not much the worse for wear, except for a badly bruised leg.

"How annoying! I'd have been perfectly alright if I hadn't landed on this." Trisha held out a strange brown shell to her companion. "This hole isn't natural, it's pet-made. Some people are so thoughtless." she concluded.

The pair scrambled out and Trisha cast around for signs of who had made the hole. Inside a minute she had found a clear track seemingly made by many feet, that led deeper into the jungle.

She was about to show it to Larry but before she had a chance, he said, "Trish, this thing you fell on... I'm no good at anatomy, but judging from the smell of coconut, I would say that this is a Tiki Skull... or mask or something."

Trisha gulped, "Don't try and scare me Larry, you're in enough trouble already." The lecture would have been longer, but she was interrupted by a chanting that seemed to come from all directions at once...

"Unga Bunga Bunga Baa! Chillum Poogle, Techo Ah!"

The pets looked at each other and saw their own fear reflected in the other's eyes. As one, they burst into a run, but before they'd gotten ten yards, they pulled up short, halted by a wall of spear waving coconuts. The largest coconut stepped forward and said...

At once, all the coconut mask-wearing natives fell on their faces, groveling at the feet of the two stunned friends. The leader stepped forward and knelt on one knee before Larry. Trisha noticed immediately that the wooden shield he carried had a picture of a Techo and a Poogle carved on it, with rays of sunlight shooting off around the Techo.

"Oh, great god, Techo-Ah!" he gushed in breathless awe, "You have returned to us, as was prophesied! Now our enemies will be vanquished and we shall have peace again!"

"Who are you?!" Trisha exclaimed, a little annoyed that her half-witted friend would be mistaken for a god, but relieved that they weren't about to be impaled on all those spears.

"I am Kiki-Kako, oh Chillum Poogle, faithful servant-companion to the great god, Techo-Ah," he said, but still addressing Larry as if she didn't really exist.

Larry shot a glance at Trisha and grinned, his gleaming white teeth beaming with obvious pride and delight. Trisha snorted in disgust and glared back at him.

"Servant-companion?" Trisha echoed in disbelief, as Kiki-Kako stood up and clapped. His followers immediately leapt to their feet and lunged forward, scooping Larry up and placing him on their shoulders. They began to trot down a barely noticeable path through the jungle, thick with brambles and overgrowth. Larry bobbed up and down on their shoulders, laughing aloud at his good fortune and fun ride. Trisha stood shaking her head and watching them depart. Jealousy and uncertainty furrowed her brow with deep lines. Their leader turned and looked at her. She could not see his expression, but his voice sounded bewildered.

"Are you not going to accompany your master, the great god, Techo-Ah?" Kiki-Kako called back to her. Trisha threw her paws up in the air and replied with a hint of irritation in her voice, "Oh, sure. Why not?"

Trisha was winded from the long run through the dense jungle. Her fur was matted with sweat and she clung to a tree wheezing with heavy gasps. She wanted to scream "Wait for me!" but couldn't make her lungs push out the air needed to speak. A sudden thunderous whoop from the village just ahead made Trisha forget her fatigue and she sprinted to the edge of a clearing.

She couldn't believe her eyes. Larry was sitting on a throne of polished stone, with platters of fruit and pastries being offered to him by beautiful native girls. He was still grinning with simple-minded happiness.

Trisha stomped up to him and hissed, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a god!" Larry replied, stuffing a Golden Juppie into his mouth.

"And what happens if they find out you're not? What happens if they want you to perform some sort of miracle?" she demanded.

But before Larry could reply, a young native rushed into the midst of the gathering screeching, "They are here! They are here!" Screams of terror and panic rose up in the crowd and chaos erupted among the natives as many rushed for cover.

Kiki-Kako approached the throne, turned towards the villagers and waved his arms for silence. A hush fell over the throng of natives.

"Do not be afraid!" he boomed out in a voice that echoed through the trees, "For now the great god Techo-Ah will defeat our great enemy and bring us peace!"

As if on cue, with swords and cutlasses flashing, a band of pirates...

"AAARRRHHH," the leader yelled, pointing his long, gleaming sword at Kiki-Kako. "So this be your great Techo god eh Tiki-Man?"

"Do not insult the great Techo-Ah!" Kiki-Kako shouted in maddened fury, "He has more greatness in his toenail than you ever will you slimy, ridge-backed, lizard!"

The Krawk took a surprised gasp, recovered, and retorted to his soldiers, "Oh look! It is the great Techo-Ah with his golden toenail!"

His men sniggered. One particularly wimpy looking Mynci fell over laughing and was immediately thrown back into the jungle, his wild laughter still ringing through the lush, green, trees.

The Krawk captain turned to rest his fierce, cold, steely, eyes on Trisha.

"So," he began in a voice of mock interest, "this must be Chillum Poogle. Techo-Ah's faithful sidekick! How does it feel being second rate? Not jealous are we?"

Trisha fixed her eyes on the ground. She wouldn't admit it, but the Krawk was right. She did feel second hand and she was jealous.

The Krawk turned to Larry and said, "Assemble your warriors. We attack at dawn on the morrow." With that he turned and marched his scraggly crew back into the forest.

Kiki-Kako turned to Larry and, with great loathing and hatred in his voice, said, "That was One Legged, One Eyed..."

"Flying purple people eater?" interrupted Larry.

"Um... no Great One. He is One Legged, One Eyed Terrence. He is our greatest enemy. He has been trying to steal the treasures within the burial chamber of our great Tiki chieftain."

Trisha's ears perked up at this, but her spirit was low and she only half listened as Tiki-Tako described his long history with Terrence. She was half asleep when she heard Tiki-Kako mention her name.

"So now you and Chillum Poogle must go and vanquish Terrence with your magical mystical powers."

Trisha gasped. They didn't have magical mystical powers. Then, to her great surprise, Larry spoke up.

"Uh... I must discuss this with Chillum Poogle," he said as he pulled Trisha into the nearest hut.

"Trish," he said with a panicked look in his eye, "what are we going to do?"...

Larry thought about it for a moment then said, "Actually it was an Aisha who transcribed it from a Pawkeet that was once owned by a pirate. Oh, and did I mention it was..."

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Trish shouted, becoming even more annoyed.

After hearing the noise, several Tiki-warriors ran into the hut, followed by Kiki-Kako. "Are you alright Great Techo-Ah?" he asked Larry as the Tiki-warriors poked Trish with their spears.

"Um... I think so."

"Oww!" Trish yelled, "Larry, make them go away."

The Techo turned to the natives, "Could you leave?"

"Of course Marvelous One, if that is your bidding." With that Kiki-Kako left, the warriors trailing behind him.

Larry looked back at Trish, "What were we talking about?"

Trish shook her head, "You wanted to know what we are going to do."

"Oh, I see." He stood there, staring at her, until finally he spoke up, "About what?"

"About how we are going to get rid of the pirate, you know, the one-eyed guy."

Larry scratched his head, "That's right! Oh! I have an idea. We could dance around the hut chanting and then it should rain... um... JubJub crackers!"

Trish was pacing, trying to think of a way to solve their problem, and thankfully, was not paying any attention to Larry.

"Or what if we got a HUGE wad of bubble gum and rolled it down the hill, on to the pirates!"

Trish was still ignoring him. "Wait a minute!" she stopped her pacing, turning her attention to Larry, "Do you still have that book for morons or whatever?"

"Uh, yeah, why?" he replied slightly puzzled.

"Get it out and see what it has to say about powerful artifacts," Trish told him, becoming more and more hopeful.

Larry clapped his hands together, sensing her excitement. "Ok, just a sec. I think I left it on the throne...

"Ok. Now, a... artifacts, artifacts, artifacts," she chanted. "Ah! Artifacts with spells. Page... 132. Here. Mystery Island. It says...

"'The natives of Mystery Island have many sacred artifacts, and they are often known to have real powers, as many things do. The instances that pets were affected were...' Blah, blah. Hmmm... here! 'One that sunk a ship that was attacking Mystery Island. It says: 'The Halaki Spear was an ordinary spear with an ornament said to have special powers. There were only five spears made, and the records say that three were used. They can only use their powers once each. None can be made, for the instructions were burned by invaders in Year 1.' Hmmm... this doesn't sound like it's for morons."

"Yeah, so, there are five spears and we can make them each once, but we can't burn them because the instructions were invaded?" interrupted Larry.

"Ummm, no. Let me read. You can find them at museums or, for unused ones, you can find them around the Training School," the Poogle explained. "And to use them, you, and I- I mean the great Techo-Ah, must perform a ritual, the book explains." Trish furrowed her brows. "Are you SURE this is Survival for Morons?"

"Yeah, I think... um, actually, no. I just randomly picked one, cause there were two," replied Larry. Trish looked at the cover, and gasped.

"This is Modern Archeology for Super-Nerds! I just want to know why that was there?!? asked Trish.

Larry gulped, and said, "Well, at least we found our answer, didn't we?"

"I just want to know why that was there! Let's go back!" exclaimed Trish. Before Larry could say ok, Trish jumped as she saw...

"What is it, Larry? Oh my gosh!" she gasped. The natives were dancing around a large bonfire, waving the Survival For Morons book above their heads.

"Great Techo-Ah, what would you like us to do with this?" Kiki-Kako asked, gesturing toward the book.

"Er, what are my choices?" Larry asked.

"You can either send the relic to your pet, Tachoflame-Ah, or you could put it into your treasury." Kiki-Kako answered.

"If I said my pet, what would happen?" Larry asked.

"Show Techo-Ah his pet!" Kiki-Kako ordered the coconut tribe. Suddenly, the tribe began dancing and chanting: "Tachoflame-ah". Then they stopped dancing and cleared a path leading up to the bonfire.

"Techo-Ah, your pet, Tachoflame-Ah." Kiki-Kako answered.

"Put it in my treasury!" Larry answered.

"Would you like to see your treasury?" Kiki-Kako asked.

"Yes please, Kiki-Kako," he answered.

"Come," the leader of the tribe said. "Including you, Chillum Poogle." The natives led the pair through the wilderness until they came to a cave leading into the unknown. "Members stay. Great ones, come." Kiki-Kako ordered, leading Larry and Trish into the blackness.

After about an hour of walking through the cave, they finally reached the catacomb. It was a large cavern filled with treasure. Kiki-Kako placed the Survival Book for Morons on the top of a large mound of treasure. "If you wish, you can take some items back with you." Kiki-Kako said, handing Larry a bag.

Larry grabbed the bag and started filling it. Once he was done filling the bag, Larry followed the Tiki chief out of the cave, talking about what would happen if the pirates found the treasure. Apparently, the pirates wouldn't be able to see it. The treasure was enchanted so they would only see rotting compost and fungus.

Unknown to them though, they were being watched by the pirate captain. "So! that's where they hide the dead guy's treasure!" Terrence snickered. When they got back to the village, Larry and Trish were exhausted.

"Techo-ah, what is it?" Kiki-Kako asked worriedly.

"Oh! I'm just... er, concentrating my powers for tomorrow's battle," Larry lied.

"Well, our god needs good sleep in order to defeat those pirates. Good night, great Techo-Ah!"

Kiki-Kako showed them to their huts. The next day, Trish was having trouble waking up Larry. "Come on, Larry! We've got an island to save!" Trish said, shaking him awake.

"I'm up. I'm up!" Larry answered. They quickly went outside to find...

"Ready to die?" he laughed sinisterly as he spoke.

"On the contrary," replied Larry with confidence. "Are YOU ready?"

"Muhahahahahaha!!! You really think you can defeat me, the great Terrence of Krawk Island? Along with my comrades you shall suffer my wrath!"

Trisha nudged Larry on the arm. He turned to look at her with worry spread upon his face.

"Why did I just say that Trish?" he asked.

"Um...I dunno," replied Trisha. "You're the one that got us into this mess, Larry, so you can get us out!"

He hardly had any hope left in his body now. The pirates were glaring at them eager to start battling whilst Larry and Trisha stood frozen with fear. However, Larry's mind was in motion. Within minutes he came up with an amazing idea.

"That pet the natives granted me!" he whispered, "I can use him!"

He ran to the smoldering bonfire as fast as he could, and he beckoned Trisha to follow him, for he didn't want to get her into any danger. As they ran they could hear the yells of the pirates shouting "Chicken!" and "Yeah run away!"

Within moments they reached the fire pit. Now all they had to do was to find Larry's sacred pet, Tachoflame-Ah.

"Tachoflame-Ah?" they shouted over and over again. Suddenly a little creature rose from the heaps of smoldering wood.

"It's a Melton!" cried Trisha. "In all my life, I have never actually seen one! Isn't it cute?"

Larry glared at his friend who was usually the one to shout at him.

"This is no time to drool over some cute Petpet Trisha! We have a very important errand to run!"

The Melton, who was a rich orange colour, floated over to its owner. Larry backed away in fear of getting burned by the creature. It spoke.

"Do not fear me master," it said in a rather gentle tone, "I only burn my enemies."

With those words, Larry immediately trusted his new pet, and took it in his arms. The three then made their way towards the whorde of pirates, who were waiting for the ultimate battle to begin...

Trisha stared at Larry expectedly. "So? What are you gonna do?" Larry shrugged his shoulders.

"Umm... Larry... idea?" Trisha glared back as Larry looked at her with a strange stare in his eyes.

"Umm, maybe we could..." he announced. "Wait a sec, what are the pirates doing?" Trisha looked behind her.

The pirates were taking cautious steps, being careful with the Melton. It was doing a wonderful job of stalling them. Trisha laughed.

"Bingo! Now I have it!" she exclaimed.

"What, Trish?" asked Larry, seeing the smile spread across her face.

"Larry, I think the pirates are starting to believe you really are Techo-Ah. If we wear hula skirts and carry coconut spears, chanting strange words and circling around the enemies, they might run!"

Larry looked at Trisha blankly. "And if they don't?"

Trisha gave a sheepish grin. "We'll use plan B."

Larry stared at his brainy friend. "So, what IS plan B?" Trisha laughed nervously. "Um... we'll find out soon."

So, they did according to their blunt, but hopeful plan. At first the pirates shrank closer to each other, then began to back away. Even Kiki-Kako looked amazed. Trisha suddenly had another brainwave. "Kiki-Kako, the great-god Techo-Ah wants a big net!"

Larry glared at Trisha. "I said nothing of the sort, Trish..." but soon stopped as he realized what Trisha had in mind. He tried to make the pirates stay in the same spot. He tried to make the pirates stay in the same spot. Kiki-Kako soon came with a huge net in his arms. Trisha snatched it. "Larry, move now!" she yelled. Larry did as told. Trisha snatched it. "Larry, move now!" she yelled. Larry did as told.

Trisha swung the big net over their enemies and got a perfect shot. All but one was trapped, and that one simply ran away shouting for mercy.

Kiki-Kako and the rest of the coconut people applauded loudly. Then, they all dropped down to their knees humbly before the two young Neopets. But Larry said, "No, wait. Could you give us a little time alone first?" Kiki-Kako nodded, and he led Trisha away.

Larry looked apologetically at Trisha. "Trish- I'm sorry." he blurted out.

Trisha smiled. "It's okay. But what are we going to tell the people?" she asked.

Larry frowned. "The only way is to tell them the truth," he muttered.

Trisha held Larry's paw in hers. "But we'll break their dream. Their gods, their belief, their trust."

Larry sighed. "I know. But it's the only choice." Trisha nodded sadly. "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

When they came out, the villagers were waiting for them. Larry nodded towards Trisha. Trisha hesitated, then spoke. "Humble descendants of the native people of Mystery Island, we have deceived you." A murmur ran through the crowds, but Kiki-Kako just laughed. "What do you mean great Techo-Ah, and humble servant-companion Chillum-Poogle? You have saved us all from great danger."

Larry shook his head. "No, Kiki-Kako. We are false. We are just normal Neopets. You should give Trisha all the credit; I'm just good-for-nothing. I dumped my one and only friend to become a fake god!"

Trisha smiled. "Thanks a whole lot, Larry." she whispered. Larry nodded.

The coconut people stared. There was a moment of silence, then Kiki-Kako spoke...

"The Techo speaks the truth!" The voice came from a Techo who had emerged from the bushes, followed by a Poogle. Both were painted island.

"I am the great Techo-Ah, and this is my servant-companion, Chillum Poogle!" The Tiki people looked back and forth between Larry and the real Techo-Ah.

Tachoflame-Ah, the Molton, glided forward. "It IS he!" the Petpet exclaimed. The people bowed down to the real Techo-Ah and Chillum Poogle.

"BUT," the island Techo continued, "there are other matters to discuss. Like what we do with them." He nodded towards Larry and Trisha. "They are imposters, of course. And you, tribe. How could you believe that he was I? You know my tale."

Larry spoke. "Great Techo-Ah, Chillum Poogle, please accept my humble apology. This is my fault. It all started with a map..." and with great detail, Larry told the god what had happened.

Techo-Ah said, "All right... I will spare you, on one condition." Trish and Larry exchanged worried looks.

"That the Survival for Morons book be removed from my treasury."

Trish laughed. "Of course," she said.

"Um... by the way, Techo-Ah, do you have a compass?" Larry asked. "I still need to find the treasure." The god smiled.

"Two things you must know," he said. "Yes, I have a compass, which I would be willing to give you. Second, search for the treasure on the right island." Larry looked at the map.

"Oops..." he said sheepishly, turning the map another 90 degrees. Trish and Chillum Poogle rolled their eyes, then grinned at one another.

"Well," said Larry, after receiving the compass that was used for finding things (not drawing circles), "It's time for Krawk Island! Coming, Trish?"

The Poogle sighed and nodded, and the two traveled off. The Tiki people could just hear Trish say:

"Larry, if you get us lost and then this group of Krawks come up and you turn out to be the great god Kuba-Kah or whatever, you WILL regret it."

So then, with a roar of laughter, the Tiki people danced and cheered, celebrating around a blazing bonfire in honor of an unexpected hero's victory.

THE END