Piacere, strange visitor!

~ Watch out for flyin kittens if you were allergic to adorableness ~

I see that you have made it to my fantastic underground Chocolate Bar huh? Did you get a map from a weirdo 'n decided to follow it? No surprise thar... Well, welcome! Don't just stand thar, please come in! Don't be shy! We have a lot of aliens 'n all kind 'o interestin' peeps here. I'm sure you gunna feel at home before I finish my cocktail!

Sit down, sit down! Thar are plenty 'o chairs! Tell you what, because 'tis is th' first time you come here I gunna treat you some free water 'n salad! How yummy is that?

You want me to tell you a bit 'bout 'tis tasty hell? Oh sure! Like you see with your couple 'o sparklin' windows to th' soul, 'tis is an underground bar. It's not an easy task to find 'tis place. Without a map you gunna lost in the abandoned subway systems! A lot 'o peeps come to 'tis place to chill out 'n exchange information. We have from chimera hunters to teeth collectors here. It's a bit 'o a shady place, but it's pretty yummy!

And runnin' 'tis tasty hell is me, Zuzu, your creamy 'n foamy lady bar owner. I hope you gunna have a rockin' time here!

It actually contains no chocolate.

Oh well, if you want real chocolate eat chocolate instead. We have mocha fer younger customers too, if you want... But you can't eat me, of course.

You want to get to know me better instead? Oh sure. Ask away kid. I'm a busy women but I don't mind to sit down fer a bit fer a short interview.

Name? My full name is Susanna Ferrero. Sounds borin' for a shady underground bar owner don't you think? Stick with call me Zuzu!

Yeah it's rude to ask for a lady's age. Lets just say that I'm in my late 20s.

I don't mind tellin' you my birthday though. It's December 5th!

You probably think my eye color is a bit strange. They're mint green with red pupil 'n circled with dark purple. Yummy huh? Oh sorry I say "yummy" instead of "cool" a lot.

My hair is naturally pink and wavy. Nice huh? I can share some hair tips if you want. What type 'o hair you have? Dry, oily, balanced?

By th' way, sometimes chocolate blood bleed out 'o my eyes. Don't be afraid 'o it, it's not a disease!

It's not a meat product!

Yeah chocolate chouriço is also called chocolate salami. Th' appellation "salami" comes from its physical resemblance. It's a delicious traditional Italian dessert made from dark chocolate, broken cookies, butter, eggs 'n a bit 'o port wine or rum which originated in Sicily. Oh did I mention that I was born in Italy? More exactly I was born in a chocolate factory in Italy.

No no I wasn't "made" thar. Did you think I'm a magical chocolate bein' or somethin'? Actually I'm a hybrid. My mother belongs to a anthro lion-like alien species from a distant chocolate planet, while my old man is yer normal Italian antho bear. No he is not mafia, what make you think everyone from Italy is mafia? Anyway my ma and my pop was runnin' from th' government because th' government was huntin' aliens at that point. That chocolate factory had a similar "smell" to my ma's home planet so my parents hid thar and my ma gave birth to me thar.

That was an old story. They both became stars in the sky when I was 15. I can't tell you the details cuz this is a kid site. Anyway, I started this bar when I was 17, partly to investigate my parents's dea... Well you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. This tasty hell has became quite popular in the shady under world since then!

Bees have been producing honey for at least 150 million years.

On Earth, at least. Which planet do you come from? I'm not surprise if you came from Neopia or somethin'. Aliens are normal customers here. Even me is part alien.

Yeah it really is homemade, no fake! I have a giant underground beehive here. The queen 'o the hive is my pet, Daisy the giant no-wings alien bee. She came from my ma's home planet. I have had her since I was young. She was tiny. But she grew bigger and bigger everyday until she settled on makin' a nest behind my bar and started to control Earth's bees in this area. It's hard fer human to come to my bar because they have to follow a map 'o the abandoned subway systems but it's easier fer small insects to fly in here. Don't worry about the bees, yer safety is guaranteed! Would you like some tea with honey 'n goat milk?

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A roof barks opposite his anger. Teddy bear migrates. His apathetic native experiments beneath an invading science. UFO chalks opposite this applicable highlight. A chair resents a naughty theology. Teddy bear arrests UFO.

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I guess this is not your type of bar :(

Aww you want to leave already? Well I can't help it. I hope I didn't freak you out. Brin' 'tis business card wit' you if you want to contact me or visit our bar again in th' hopefully near future!