I don't claim that I've suffered a lot of anything like that; I just say it how it felt at the time. How it actually felt. And unless you've been there, you can keep your mouth shut.

She cried and cried and cried. She didn't know what to think. Mom pretended this stuff didn't happen, so she didn't have to worry about it, so she didn't have to care, so she could keep putting herself first. It was like she promised herself that once she found somebody to solve all the problems—her problems—it'd all be over, then she could care for us and everything would be picture perfect. Every guy she drew is was another promise, another bit of hope for her. Next time, the next one, and it'll all be over.

I just hugged Dre and told her that everything would be okay and pretended that I knew what was going on, and that I wasn't scared. Mom needed us, truthfully, more than we needed her. We were her 'cause', what she leaned on, who she blamed when things didn't work out with each guy. She leant on me, Dre leant on me, and when I was that little it was like the weight of the world. Everyone knows when you bottle crap up, it has to come out someday, and I figure that's why I am the way I am. When I fired up I just say and do whatever, I let it all out. I'm hoping that one day, maybe I'll have burned all the anger and hate and that crap inside of me till there ain't nothing left. Not sure that's how it works, though.

When you're a kid, you don't see the faults, you block out everything you don't understand. So I was always loyal to her, always ready to take a swing at any guy who laid a paw on my Mom, or my little sister. Since I was about, I dunno, eight or what.

I was never resentful about my Dad, not really. I don't blame him, I guess. And it's a scary thought that, maybe, there's some chick out there, who's name I can't even remember, who might have my kid. But I mean… If I knew, then I'd go back. I'm selfish sometimes, granted, but I'm not a coward, I don't run away. I don't leave things for other people to clean up once I'm gone. It's a worrying thought.

I'm not sure Dre really wanted to leave. She was still attached to Mom, but I took care of her, and knew that without me, she'd be alone. I was thirteen, she was twelve, and we left. I haven't seen my mother since. Sometimes I wonder, of course, but I'm not bothered anymore. I've moved on. Rot in pieces, mother dearest.

For a while, it was okay. Everything was okay. We were so young, you know, people took us in, and for a while we had a place to be and, for once, no more moving around. Naturally, though, nothing lasts forever, and we had hardly two years of a normal, peaceful life before there were problems again.

She'd only come back every so often, sometimes she'd be beat up, you know. I knew what was going on, though, and we argued about it. All the time. She thought she was being in control, I knew better. Any and every guy who came within a meter of her got my teeth in his shoulder, you know how it goes.

It went on like that for a year or what, and then I started something I really shouldn't have with my best mate's girl. It was unhealthy and addictive, and even though I've always been a pretty loyal guy, as far as my friends are concerned, I was having a crap time and I just needed somewhere to vent it. When we were together it was like… Woah. You know. He loved her, apparently, I don't know. Anyway, he started getting pretty suspicious, not surprisingly, and one night when he was drunk off his head he beat her into telling him about us, and what'd been going on.

Putting it simply, we got into a fight about it when we were both equally fired up, and he ended up killing me. It was unexpected, too. I just turned by back to him and—wham— just like that, I was dead.

It was the weirdest thing. Next I knew I was lying on my back in some place, though it felt like I'd been asleep for ages. This place was just… A light, a big white sort of space. Heaven, apparently. It was the strangest feeling. This deep, weightless, free sort of feeling. You can't imagine it unless you've been there.

She appeared out of the light, cream fur, a long, dark coil of brown fur falling over her face. The /finest/ chick in the world, I swear. Listening to what she was saying was a huge trial on my behalf; she was really that gorgeous, just.. Wow. Aphrodite.

Aphro and I have a strange relationship. She gave me a second chance, put me back on this earth with a power, and the job of helping her out. I'm an angel. I know what you're thinking – I'm not very angelic. Halos, virtue, inner light, whatever. I still think she was mad, giving /me/ that kind of power, but there you go. It wasn't my time to die, guess they had to do something with me. Anyway, I can make people fall in love. Snap. Just like that. It's all a balance, it's all fate, I just get told when to come in and who to get. Neat, huh? It's all good. Things might've been pretty bad at some stages in my life, but I /never/ wanted to die. I'd have done virtually anything to get another chance.

From there on, things were better. You know they say that near death experiences can change people, well. I went the whole way. I suddenly felt like I didn't know who I was, who I wanted to be, where I was going, or what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Some things didn't chance, certainly, but I think I'm more mature now. I got some proper ideals and stuff.

My sister and me sorted things out. I was over trying to control her. You can't tell somebody how to live their life. You can guide them, you can give them advice, but when it all comes down to it people will learn how to deal in their own time, by their own. And I figure that's just the best way.

I found myself in a small sort of community of lupes, a sort of family. After meeting Sea, who's now like a niece to me. I made a few close friends there, finally, people I could relate to and just talk with, you know. Not to mention a whole throng of fan girls, haha. 'My Girls', that I meet up with every so often. Now I've got Cassi, there's going to be a lot of disappointed ladies out there.

Oh right, Cassi. Well. Friends had warned me about this love business, and even though I had freely inflicted it upon many souls by then, I felt entirely safe from this terrible phenomenon. Then I met Cassi. Luckily, when we met I was on probation; otherwise we would probably have just had our fun and gone our separate ways. But she stayed around with me anyway, my probation wore off, and eventually, well... I found myself madly in love with her. She's amazing, I'd do anything for her. Now I'm going to have to tone down on all the flirting and everything, be a bit careful. Not sure I trust myself completely to stay faithful to her. But I do love her, so I'm trying my hardest.

These days, my life's heading in a pretty good direction.