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| Caps Lock Cruelty | Footnotes |
| Reporting | Footnotes |
| Ch4tsp34k | Footnotes |
| Earning Pets | Footnotes |
| Hacked vs Scammed | Footnotes |
| Rules and Children | Footnotes |
| Evidence | Feedback |
| Affiliates | Credit |
Shift and Caps Lock Cruelty Awareness...
Aren't they inanimate objects?
So are sleeping kittens, but you don't go around poking them constantly. The difference? Kittens can defend themselves. Can the keys on your keyboard? No.
Why just those two keys? What about the others?
Good question! Actually many of the other keys (such as those with letters or numbers) love being poked! They enjoy the attention and thrive on it. In fact, 97% of all keys surveyed have responded that they enjoy their job. They don't get paid but the holidays are worth it!
The problem, however, is that the shift and caps lock keys are often mistreated
[2]. They can be submerged under their normal levels for long periods of time (this is especially rampant with the caps lock as they are prone to suffocating if left 'on', even if they are at correct level).
Why are these keys treated this way?
Often these keys are treated this way because the abuser just wants attention[3]. It's a cruel and sad fact of life that people will mistreat anything that doesn't speak for itself. Unfortunately shift and caps lock keys are mute[4] so they have a hard time defending themselves.
I feel terrible! What can I do about this?
There are several ways to prevent yourself and others from treating their shift and caps lock keys this way. Below are some suggestions.
1. Remember that the shift key does like regular attention. A quick duck at the beginning of every sentence and for the word 'I' is fine. However, try not to hold it down for too long. Its breathing is reliant on its entire surface area and if you hold it down for too long it will begin to suffer[5].
2. Remember that the caps lock still has trouble breathing if its corresponding light is on. Watch carefully for this!
3. If you see someone mistreating their shift or caps lock keys, do not start an argument. Simply ask kindly. Kindly[6]. Patronising or condescending tones are not[7] nice. Got it? You sure? Well done! ;)
4. Hypocrisy makes baby keyboards cry. "Yelling" back at the person using capitals is not only hypocritical, but you're also making your own keys suffer. Please, please be aware of this.
5. Discourage them. Giving them attention only encourages them. Usually someone will mistreat their keys to get attention, so responding makes them think it's working. We need to boycot[8] this mistreatment by letting them know it isn't working. I.e. Ignoring them. If it comes to extremes, refer to suggestion 3.
Footnotes
[1] Well, except this one. :)
[2] How can they sleep at night? :(
[3] Don't we all? But there are nicer ways!
[4] Devoid of sound. Lacking thereof.
[5] From the word 'suffocate', meaning 'You're hurting me! :(
[6] Synonym of 'nice'. Not derived from 'kinder' meaning 'children'. Coincidence? I think NOT.
[7] Emphasised to show off my uber 1337 html skills. :D
[8] Not to be confused with 'apricot', which is not only a type of fruit but a type of bedding for small apes.
You've confused me now. Try that again?
This page is about rule breakers and those who report them. Once again my attempt to articulate has only served to confuse. :(
What's wrong with rule breakers?
I'd say good question if the answer wasn't so blatantly obvious that it's an insult to my intelligence to even ask! But, since you asked so nicely and I need to be friendly to get publicity for this page, I shall answer. They break rules. Rules are there to keep everything nice and safe and civil. They're not made to be broken[2]. People break rules deliberately, whether it's to get attention or to annoy others which also gets attention. Okay so basically rule breakers are generally servile self-seekers who dedicate their lives to annoy you just for a petty little annoyed response.
The problem? Well obviously it's that if people start getting away with this behaviour, it will go on and get worse and worse until everyone does it and then no one will get attention because everyone else is too busy trying to get attention themselves and then we all run into panic mode and our brains ASPLODE![3]
Then what's wrong with reporting them?
Nothing, really. Reporting rule breakers is fine, in fact, it's apparently recommended[4]. The problem is when people choose to publicise this fact. What happens here is that these people become hypocrites[5]
Hypocrites? How? Please explain!
You see, when people state blandly, and often with a blatant lack of imagination, that they have reported someone for spamming etc, they themselves are doing exactly what the delinquent was doing to begin with, thus making themselves delinquents. Why do people do this? Well, here are some theories[6] below.
1. Medal of honour
It is entirely possible that this reporter simply wanted to be publicly recognised as someone who rids society of its nuisances and would appreciate some sort of bravery award for clicking a few links and filling in the gaps.
2. Politeness
It is also entirely possible that the reporter wanted to inform the rulebreaker that he or she was breaking the rules and decided that publicly was the best way. Perhaps to set an example to others? Perhaps to warn others of consequences[7] for such actions?
3. Loneliness
To the surprise of many, people who report others frequently can sadly be bereft of friends. Maybe they just want some acknowledgement? Maybe they just wanted to vent their feelings by articulating and compressing it into a simple phrase, representing their life, feelings, emotions, experiences and dreams. "Reported for spamming..." could have so many deeper meanings, and if people just learned to understand how others feel and see the world around them, maybe there would be no rule breakers or hypocrisy or slander. Then again, I wouldn't have petpages to coin attention with, so I'm all good. :)
Footnotes
[1] Yes. It is. *shameless plug*
[2] Unlike porcelain, which is just weird and strange and scary. :'(
[3] See? Italics and capitals and deliberate mispellings got this footnote attention. Learn, people.
[4] Insert reliable source here.
[5] Derived from the famous ancient philosopher, Hypocrites. His most famous values included such that beards are tasteless and more suited to wild animals, but on himself looked quite regal.
[6] Theories. Theorised by a theorising theorist who made some theories[6].
[7] PH34R M3!!1one
1. Ub3r 1337 (leet speak)
1337 sp34k 15 c00l c05 17 m4k35 u l00k l1k3 y0ur sm4r7. 17 d035 u5u411y 1nc1ud3 p3r10d5 bu7 17 57111 100k5 pr377y n347. 8310w 15 4 6u1d3 f0r u51n6 ch475p34k.
0 = O
4 = A
3 = E
1 = I or L
7 = T
8 = B
6 = G
4150 7h3r3 4r3 m0r3 w4y5 70 7yp3 07h3r 13773r5. 36:
/2 = R
// = W
( = C
|) = D
|= = F
|-| = H
|( = K
// = M
// = N
0_ = Q
37(...
2. Vwl prgng (Vowel purging)
mttng vwls s vry cl nd t lks lk y knw wht yr tlkng bt. Ths s vry pplr bcs t s nt nly wkwrd t sy bt ls wkwrd t typ s y mst b rlly skllfll, rght?Guide: Omit the following letters from all written: A, E, I, O, U.
3. Delibrat typoes (Deliberate idio^H^H^H^Htyping errors.)
Thsi on s prety kewl cos ti mkae u luk pro @ evethnig u typ. I loks lyk ur typgig fatster nadn as a resutl u havnt speleld coreeclty. Thisi is ksoooll.
For a dictionary on chatspeak, visit Yoglorye's petpage (See "Affiliates")
Hang on a moment... What's so terrible about it? Well, obviously not everyone is going to be so understanding, so let's summarise what's so AWFUL about not EARNING a PET!
What's so AWFUL about not EARNING a PET
- Lots of people work hard to earn their neopets, to paint them, train them, etc. It can feel like such a waste of time when someone gets a painted, well trained, etc pet with about as much effort as eating a piece of toast.
- And... Well, that's basically it.
So is this why many people can get a bit uptight on boards when someone says they didn't fully earn their pet? The short answer is Yes. The long answer is Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
So why then, don't people 'earn' their own pets? Because they don't have to. If people are willing to give away or trade a well-named, beautifully-painted, rare-typed, spanish-speaking, mild-mannered... (the list goes on)... pet, why not take it? Well, there's not really any good reason not to take it, is there? Surely, if someone said to you...
Hey. I have this {adorable/cuddly/fluffy/ugly/monstrous/vicious/mild-mannered/sweet} [1] {rabbit/cat/dog/hamster/gerbil/snake/robot/pillowcase/hermit crab/dust bunny} [1], because I don't really want it anymore, so you can have it. Perhaps I would even like to trade. But point in fact, you can have this mild-mannered little pillowcase because I'm nice and I want you to have it!
... What would you say? Would you heartlessly reject a poor little fluffy hermit crab just because you think you should earn it yourself? 'Sif! If someone doesn't want it, it's up for grabs. If you don't like that, no one's forcing you to. But being MEAN to other people for adopting a monstrous dust bunny just seems a little bit... Silly. :P
Footnotes
[1] Delete as applicable.
But what's the issue? If someone creates a board going "HALP I GOT HACKED!" surely the appropriate response is useful advice and comforting thoughts, rather than "YOU WERE SCAMMED, NOT HACKED!!1" Anyway, I thought I'd be kind and thoughtful by going through the definitions of each [1]. And also the definition of 'semantics' for those of you who are already confused. :P
- Scam: A confidence game or other fraudulent scheme, especially for making a quick profit.
- Hack: To use one's skill in computer programming to gain illegal or unauthorized access.
- Semantics: The meaning, or an interpretation of the meaning of a word.
Right. Now that's the definitions sorted. Can you see a difference between the first two definitions? I can. Can you see any overlap in the definitions of the first two words? Why yes! I can![2] However, the important thing to remember is that while there is a distinguishable difference between the two terms, surely they both refer to a similar offence[3]. And in the end, surely to loudly vocalise this difference is a lot less helpful than just answering the question?
Keep in mind this particular article isn't really finished. If there's anything I should add/edit, just neomail me.
Footnotes
[1] Using the dictionary I happen to have on hand.
[2] Must be an optical illusion or something!
[3] We're talking in Neopets context here.
Because children play this site.[1]
To avoid any further confusion, I am first going to point out that this is WRONG[2] Yes, you heard right.[3] Why do I say this? Allow me to explain.[4].
You see, most children already know most, if not all, of the terrible language some of us use. They hear it from their parents, their friends, and especially from their older siblings. What makes you think they're not intelligent enough to pick up words like that? It's how we learn our first language. We don't study it from books, as children we pick up the language from other people who speak it. No particular words are exempt from this, so it makes sense that they would know them if they've heard them.
Anyway, my point is, certain words aren't disallowed to avoid teaching them to children. They are disallowed for some of the following reasons.
- They are considered rude.
- They are not necessary for day-to-day communication.
- They offend people.
There are probably many more reasons, but that should cover the basics.
Footnotes
[1] Variations apply.
[2] Incorrect, not correct as to fact, inaccurate.
[3] Correct, correct as to fact, accurate.
[4] No, I'm not going to explain the word 'explain'.
Look at it! People abusing their caps lock and shift keys for personal gain! Woe.
As if personal gain wasn't bad enough. Now they've gone corporate.
I only hope that one day, just maybe, my message will get through to people.
I have removed the banner for this petpage. Sorry if this has caused any inconvenience.
But look I think I've just won some kind of award or something from this other petpage. You should totally check it out so you can read all about my awesomeness.
Yoglorye's Chatspeak Dictionary:
Empty at the moment. Still shamelessly plugging this page wherever I go! This section should be updated soon enough. :)
Affiliates
Big thanks to triphosphate for helping with the anchor links. Hopefully it'll be easier for you all to view the footnotes now. :)
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