So... What is this Page? Every day that I can, I will be on the HC, or Help Chat, scouring for the funniest topic titles! Because we have all seen that there are some pretty outrageous ones. I'll be looking for the crazy, the kooky, the silly, and the just plain absurd. However absurd though, the title of the board must in some way or another have a connection to Neopets. Then, at the end of the day, I will choose a list of a few of my favourites, and allow the people who frequent the HC to choose their Top 2! The five nominees with the highest number of votes will be listed in order on this page by the next day. This is not a contest, no one wins anything. This is just for fun. In the future, there will hopefully be pages for more than just the Help Chat. A Newbie Chat page existed briefly, but was unfortunately removed for reasons I do not wish to discuss. Eventually, we will grow! Where do I, guest, come in? A topic will be made every evening, called :P Vote for the Funniest HC Topic of the Day! And you can vote on your top 2 favourites! I will keep the voting open for an hour, or until the board dies off to page 2 of the HC. Then, the top five will be listed in order on this page, separated by date. Previous entries are listed below. If the voting is open, there will be a link available to the board on this page. If you want to be notified even more quickly, check out the Mailing List section of this page. Updates 7/8/09 Funniest Newbie Topics of the Day has closed... Unfortunately, there was a misunderstanding and the owner has decided to shut down the page. Ah well. Hopefully we will be able to get a Funniest Newbie Topics page up and running again sometime soon. Thanks so much to everyone who checked it out! This page would be nothing without the people who frequent it. 7/5/09 WE ARE EXPANDING!! Funniest HC Topics of the Day is expanding! Now we are going to be adding Funniest Newbie Topics of the Day, as well as hopefully pages for the other Neoboards sometime in the future. Though it is not yet ready for business, the page listing all of these Funny Topics pages will be http://www.neopets.com/~morganlefaythegood . Check back soon to see when these things are up and running! And another HUGE thanks to everyone for their support! Lately I have been getting almost 200 hits a day. I never thought that this page would become so popular, or that I would be expanding! More info will come soon. 7/4/09 First off, Happy Fourth of July to all of the other Americans out there! Wave a flag and eat some corn on the cob. Secondly: Last night I encountered a problem that I hadn't encountered before. I was unable to post a board because I was really busy. In the event that I am totally swamped at work, or otherwise unable to post a board to allow the HC to vote on their favourite funny topics of that day, I will compile a list of the funniest topics and neomail it to my mailing list the next morning. Then my mailing list members will be able to vote on their favourites, and the top five nominees will be listed in order on this page as soon as I get a chance. Yesterday, I had not yet thought of this, so I just asked a few of my real world friends to decide on which ones they thought were funniest. 6/27/09 In order to keep discouraging the spammers, I am now going to be keeping track of the Usernames of the topic creators. Any person whose topic has already been listed on this site will not be considered for a little while. This keeps any one person, or group of peeople, from dominating my site. Also, topic titles that have absolutely no relation whatsoever to neopets will no longer be considered. Ones that are semi-related will still be taken into consideration. A.K.A. DO NOT make funny topics just to get them on this site. It will not work, and people will probably just flame your board. Thank you :) 6/20/09 Topics involving Edward Cullen will not be considered. ... Drumroll Please... The Funniest Topics from Each Day! All topics are listed in order of most to least votes, and are organized by date. June 17-June 21 . June 22-June 28 . June 29-July 5 . July 6-July 12 . July 13- July 19 July 14, 2009 1.THE HC IS ALL UP IN MY GRILL 2.ARE ALL THE FAERIES SISTERS? 3.How much is 10.7 M ? 4.Chicken Pot Pie World 5.wat how did tnt manage to ruin soccer July 13, 2009 1.Someone just accused me of cheating because I have a MP in my trades. 2.Tomb Chips? 3.SPACEY FAERIES, TO ARM, MENS!!! 4.My avatar is showing up as BGC on the stalker bar. Help? 5.what is salena fabulous pride? July 12, 2009 1.Have you gone Kau tipping in Meridell lately 2.Codestones for Dummies... Help please 3.my neopet suffers from Achy Head whats the cheaps cure?besides rainbow fountain 4.If I wanted to trade my Cybunny for a baby How do I set up trade? 5.Would you call a gelert a dog ? July 11, 2009 1.well...my dad and i are arguing bout ways to punish pet 2.Do you have a truly evil pet who is NOT painted Darigan? 3.ATTN HC: old men 4.DO I ANNOY YOU HCers?? 'CAUSE IF I DO... 5. ATTENTION HC, i'M GOING TO STOP SPAMMING July 10, 2009 1.ARE NEOPETS REAL?? 2.My dad would like to know some facts about neopets (he's trying to bond with me) 3.FEROCIOUS NEGGS ON THE LOOSE!!! 4. If I paint a chia orange, will it turn into the fruit? 5.dose any1 know how to get ahold of the offishals? July 9, 2009 1.I BET OBAMA PLAYS NEOPETS! July 8, 2009 1.If you need help don't come here ask your Neofriends 2.It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's just another faerie quest board... 3.How do you customize your shop? Do you have to be a special member to do it? 4.Whats the cheapest illness for neopet? 5.The game Challnge Ticket is expansive. July 7, 2009 1.Does a baby paint brush turn your pet into a baby? 2.Second time Scammed!!! help me out!! NEED ADVICE!!!' 3.Why is it always Neopets 7th Birthday Goodie Bags falling from the sky??? 4.does nelly furtado have a neopets account 5.QUITTING! FREE PETS! July 6, 2009 1.Please, take my word... 2.what is the name of the splat-a-snot avatar 3.Stalking good pet names~ 4.Forgive me if this is illegal but I need to know 5.Anyone have rain dorf ears they can model? July 5, 2009 1.Are Peach Paint Brushes Rare ? 2.MY PET IS in a potato sack!!! 3."Are Kougras Limited Addition? 4.I HAVE NEO POINTS BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO SPEND THEM 5.IS THERE ANY GUINEA PIG GUILD July 4, 2009 1.Why is a ham casserole so... sparkly?!??!?!? 2.If you have right-click and copypasta, you can help me. 3.You know you have no life when...you try to steal peoples accounts on NEOPETS~ 4.If you were Jhudora and you could /devour/ any player... 5..I'd ask for you to rate my UL, but I know I'd be called a scammer. July 3, 2009 1. UM...How do i pronounce my actives name? 2. 'REALLY, why are there NOT MARAQUAN KOIS, JETSAMS, OR FLOTSAMS?!?! ' 3. Tarlie! 4. Asparagus Anonymous 5. Well... uh... why is a bruce called bruce? July 2, 2009 1. So There's Global Warming - You going to blame that on IE too?? rant+q 2. How do you get to JELLOLAND??? 3."What in the world do ya need THAT for?" 4. Help! I've had my feelings hurt via Neomail! 5.I'm honestly dying for help here ; xDD ♥ July 1, 2009 1. Can Anyone donate some balls? 2.NEOPETS ARE SPECIEST ASWELL AS COLORIST! 3.Do ghosts pick there nose? 4. Ive got a question, what is Neopets? 5.I admit it, I am official dumb June 30, 2009 1.'SORRY SIR, MUST'VE SKIPPED OVER YOUR HOT PINK FONT. MY APOLOGIES' 2.Wishing Well ~ Is it a scam or a way to get items?? 3.Um not sure what its called, it might be a siggy? 4.do the high school musical lyrics in my signature make you auto-dislike me 5.What are ways to make your pet heavier? C: 1 June 29, 2009 1. They dont have neo-prison do they? 2.do u imagine the hc as happy endless plains or gloomy mountains of despair?? 3. If I kill my neopets, do I have to give them a funeral? 4. HELP! My pet is HAUNTING ME! 5.We need that link OR THE WORLD ENDS. June 28, 2009 1. I don't wanna be a Mortog... 2. This just in: Billy Mays is the reason the newest CG thing is happening! 3. OH REALLY NEOPETS. -seethe- And what made you think THAT was a good idea!? 4. Once upon a time there was a poll, a question, and a girl hoping for answers. 5. Has any TNT staff member ever abused their power? June 27, 2009 1. Desperate for the name of a neopets item with a UNIBROW!! 2. The fire faerie is HAWTTT!!!! 3. can acara on acara day get painted zombie for free 4. *Is having a seinor moment @ age 12* 5. Why did TNT make so many ads to become "macho"? June 26, 2009 1. Buying Friends. 2. "Posting reported is also reportable" 3. Yo I found the secret building 2 buy the baby paint brush and royal pb..... 4. Found a pet in the pound... I'm allowed to keep it, right? 5. ugh! an absent minded faerie, June 25, 2009 1. What the meepit was happening with my petpage? 2. are there any benefits to eating a faerie? 3. what can I do for fun on neopets? ... or anywhere 4. Can you still use a baby paint brush ? 0: 5. A Warning to All Snipers! June 24, 2009 1.When you have a water faerie quest is there a time limit to paint your pet? 2. Isn't the Snowager supposed to be asleep? 3. Am I selfish for secretly wishing the new restockers would go awai? 4.HC-Lend me your eyes! 5.Oh, no!!! Your pet went down in intelligence! -- Since when? June 23, 2009 1. Is the never ending boss battle really never ending? 2. Is there a key Quest cheating program? 3. neopets is a dream come true 4.Could someone please give me the link to the person that fixes things? 5. What were your weird neopet dreams? June 22, 2009 1. Looking for a stalker! 2. Is there a better way to enter the symol hole? 3. SEEKING FAT PETS! BRING ME FAT PETS! 4. what would it be if you got an maraqua aisha and then u took to lutari island an 5. HOW DO YOU DELETE A NEOPET? June 21, 2009 1. help my pet is beating up my other pets!!!! already tried a neointervention! 2.Looking for Fruit Lupe 3. How to win neopets? 4.Mutant PB not showing up in Trading Post- happening to anyone else? 5.COW DAY? June 20,2009 1.Question about neopets.com's evil twin 2. Ogrin Stench?! 3. You know, when it comes down to eat, everyone on neopets are normal people 4. TNT's Most WANTED SCAMMER 5. anyone hav a morphin oogle ub? June 19, 2009 1. Does this mean she is gonna kill me if I don't do her quest? 2.wow this weeks editorial was actually useful 3.Is there any way to give a disease to one of your pets on purpose? 4.any butty want to send me pant brush 5.Anyone want to take care of my account while on vacation? June 18, 2009 1. Dumb question, but how do you post a topic- 2. The mutant kau looks like Davy Jones 3. I can't taunt the pant devil! 4. I Need Help! I have... squid problems 5. Fart! June 17, 2009 1. So... my mom and I are having and argument about codestones 2. How do I spank my neopet? 3. Is the dark faerie having a baby or something? 4. What are popsicles?!? (write in) 5. Random event...Braces on the smiley negg!!! The Rules The creators of the topics will not be named, this is a totally anonymous ranking system. The nominees are also not based on the content of the board, just of the silliness of the topic title alone. So even if you thought the content of a board was absolutely hysterical, please do not suggest that I nominate it if the title is not funny. The OP (original poster) of the board is not notified, and neither are any of the posters on the board. There are no awards given out. I am keeping track of the OPs who are featured here on my site. No one person is eligible to have their topics featured too often. This keeps it fair and even and ensures that no one is making topics with funny titles just to try and be featured on this site. However... if your board is featured on this site, good for you. No one other than you and I know that, but give yourself a nice pat on the back. My main disclaimer: I am not trying to encourage the spammers, n00bs and trolls. I am just enjoying a pleasant laugh. N00b -b- Gone Tons at hand Cost: N00bish behavior My Connections I am currently seeking affiliates, listings, and ratings. To request me as an affiliate, please fill out this form... Your Name: Site Name: Site Link: Will you link back to my site?: Any comments to make Funniest HC Topics better?: Thank you so much! I accept most affiliate requests. My only stipulation is that you have some kind of button for me to post on this page. It does not have to be the standard size, but it can't be gargantuan either. 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Members of our mailing list will receive a neomail when the voting board is posted each evening containing the link to the board, and a list of the nominees for that day. This is a great way to make your voting simpler. Or, if you just enjoy voting, it's a good way to remember to check us out every day! Neomail me if you want to join our mailing list. The Mailing List currently has 22 members, and is growing! To join, just click the button below and state in your neomail that you want to join the mailing list! Credits Layout by surflightseamstress- with the help and advice of some friends who know HTML coding much better than she does. But she coded this entire thing herself. Staff surflightseamstress (Funniest HC Topics/ Owner) violamaster01 (Former Funniest Newbie Topics Co-Owner) If you have any suggestions for this site, please let me know! Thanks again for visiting the Funniest HC Topics of the Day! 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