Articles

Welcome From the Editor

Hello and welcome to The Veterans Gazette, guest! Congratulations on finding your way to this incredibly cool webpaper. You may be wondering, what in Neopia is The Veterans Gazette, and why should I care that it exists at all? A little bit of history behind the VetZette is in order to answer that, I believe, and some shameless guild self-promotion.

A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away ... Ok maybe not that long ago, but it sure feels like it. Back to my story, though, there existed some players in a fabulous guild (ENV, short for Elite Neopian Veterans, for those curious enough to wonder) who wanted some Neopian supplements to read that pertained in part to them and their veteran-ish-ness. (They were also quite bored, and so many were lacking in creative things to do.) So some genius came up with the brilliant idea to create their own paper, with Veteran content (and some not so Veterany content) that would help entertain readers, and keep boredom at bay. And so The Veterans Gazette was born; a paper that was funny, informative, creative, unique and in no way self-centered to Veterans only.

As editor, each issue has been immensely fun to put together, as well as a great challenge. Orchestrating a paper with many different authors, artists, coders, etc is no easy task, and I'm very thankful to those who participated in this issue and helped it come to "print", so to speak.

On behalf of the ENV Guild and Council, I hope you, guest, enjoy the paper. Please feel free to mail comments to me, or especially those who wrote articles, and thank them for all the hard work they put into their section.

Once again, thanks to those who wrote something, and enjoy The Veterans Gazette, happy reader!

~plutoplus1 (Heather)

Retired Item Spotlight

By: xxxevilangelxxx

In light of the Holiday season, I thought it would be appropriate to begin the spotlight with retired advent items.

The first item is the White Ona. This petepet was given out on December 3, 2003 and it caused quite an uproar. Only if you retrieved your advent prize within the first 6 hours of that day, could you recieve the White Ona. Otherwise you would have recieved a White Chocolate Orange instead. You are still able to buy White Onas in other users shops and they sell for about 33,000nps.

Our next item is the Snowman! This perky fellow is synonymus with the winter holiday season (Even if you live in a warmer climate). This item is also a garden item and can be put into your neohome. This was given out December 2002 and can still be bought for 2500 nps.

And the last item is the Amazing Kiko Cracker. Crackers are not seen very often in the United States. These holiday items are seem more in England and in other Commonwealth nations. They are filled with a little toy, a paper hat, and a joke. These things (minus the joke) can be obtained from the neopets crackers. This item was given out in December 2003 and can be bought for about 18,000 nps.

That concludes this issues Spotlight. If you have any suggestions or comments please contact xxxevilangelxxx by neomail.

Meet a Member

By: Star_ona
On a quest to help us get to know other guild members, I've stumbled across a few members that were nice enough to take time out of their busy day on neopets to answer a few questions. Don't be discouraged if I didn't find you yet, your turn is coming. There are quite a few of us in ENV.

First I found micky_dolenze and this is what she had to say:

How did you find out about neopets?

What is your dream pet? Do you own it yet?

What's the best thing about ENV?

What is your favorite avatar? Do you own it?

On average how long would you say you actually spend on neopets a day?

If tnt did away with all but one world.. which one would you hope stayed? Why?

Then I found hotgirl1987 and this is what she had to say:

What's the best thing about ENV?

What is your least favorite avatar? Do you own it?

If tnt did away with all but one world... which one would you hope stayed? Why?

What is your favorite avatar? Do you own it?

What has been your favorite war/plot? Any particular reason?

Do you think vets will ever get rewards?

Then I found andymanak and this is what she shared:

What is your favorite and/or least favorite species? Why?

What is your best neopets memory?

What is your favorite and/or least favorite color for the pets? Why?

On average how long would you say you actually spend on neopets a day?

What is you favorite petpet?

How long have you been playing?

And last, but certainly not least, this is what starsidebullet had to say:

What is your worst neomemory?

What is the best thing you ever won in a neogame?

What is your dream pet? Do you own it yet?

What is your best neomemory?

What neoboard are we most likely to find you at?

Do you think vets will ever get rewards?

Biscuit Brigade Guide

By: plutoplus1 Also submitted to the Neopian Times, but here FIRST for a special preview!

Biscuit or Cookie: A Guide to Biscuit Brigade

Seriously, this game is addicting. The first time I played it, I knew it was a new favorite of mine. Who doesn't love a game where you get to make things explode while guarding a precious plate of chocolate chip cookies? No need to answer, that was a rhetorical question.
Still, the game can be confusing. I had to play several times on easy mode until I could figure out the best strategies, and what exactly each option does. So before we go into how to beat each mode, let's have an overview of the game, and different functions in it.

Note: It is suggested that one reads the entire guide, top to bottom, so one may get the clearest picture of what the author is describing, and then attempt to play the game.

Overview
On the game description, it reads:

Biscuit Brigade: Hagan's Last Stand: Even when Skarl was young, the future king of Meridell always had to have his food. He had toy soldiers that would march into his brother Hagan's model castle to steal his cookies. Help Hagan defend his castle against Skarl's toy invasion by using the clockwork siege towers that Hagan himself designed."

Sounds like the perfect setup: greedy prince brother tries to steal honest prince brothers cookies using toy soldiers, while the honest prince uses clockwork siege towers to defend his slowly growing stale pile of cookies.

Before the plot complicates even more, however, we should discuss some important aspects of the game.

Defending Your Cookies
Below is a list of the different options you select while playing, and what each one does.

Add Tower: This function adds a tower to your game. When you click it, you can place it anywhere on the map. To create just a basic tower, that can't do anything, costs 2 parts. To upgrade your tower to a certain specialty costs additional parts, which I will go into later. The towers can either fire upon the enemy causing damage and eventual demise or slow the enemy down.
Add Block: Adding a block is like digging a moat or creating palisades around your castle. The purpose of blocks is to slow the enemy down. Blocks cost 1 part, and look like a regular child's block when you place them. Sometimes the picture on the block will be different from neighboring blocks, but it does not affect how strong the block is.
Add Decoy: Decoy's are fake plates of cookies that draw the enemy towards them, and cost 2 parts to create. You can add more cookies to the original decoy by clicking it and pressing the small little circle with a cookie in the middle of a white circle. It costs 1 part every time you increase the amount of cookies on your decoy.
Cancel Action: If you accidentally click Add Block, for example, you can press 'Cancel Action' to undue that action.
Pause: To pause the game, just hit space bar. To un-pause, hit any key.
Priority Targets: You can click on a specific enemy to make your towers aim specifically at them. I personally never use this tactic, so I won't be mentioning it in the guide beyond this.

Towers

Once you build your tower, you have several options with what you want it to become; for the sake of this article we will call them either defensive or offensive towers with specialties. A defensive tower throws things to stun, slow down or poison the enemy. An offensive tower launches objects with the intent to destroy the enemy with high amounts of damage. Below I have outlined each stage of building, how much it costs, what each specialty does, what the specialties look like and it's range.

Reset Tower Specialty:
At any time, if you wish your tower to be a different specialty (for example switch from offensive to defensive), just click the option/circle that precedes it's current setting, and it will revert to what it was, giving you back the parts that you spent to create it as such.

Destroy Your Tower:
To get rid of a tower, just click the circle with the pebble-looking dust inside of it. You will be refunded for the full amount in parts that you paid for the tower, including specialty upgrades.

Create a Tower:
Creating a tower costs 2 parts, is the first step before deciding to go offensive or defensive, and does nothing.

Increase a Towers Range:
This is a very useful function, and one I didn't learn about until a fair ways into my playing. Even if you don't increase the towers height, which is its range, you can still beat all the waves on every level of difficulty. To increase the height, it costs 1 part, and you click the tower looking image. When the tower's height is increased, it looks larger. So far as I know, however, you cannot undo the increase range option without destroying the tower. For below, I have each tower listed with its range increase prior to increasing it's height.

Stages of Building

Below I've outlined the stages of building. They branch of a couple times, so I've lumped them together by part cost, and whether it is an offensive tactic or a defensive tactic.

First Stage of Building: 3 parts in cost
Ball Launcher: The Ball Launcher is the offensive tactic; it looks like a little snowball on a spring when in action, and causes the least amount of damage out of all the offensive tactics. Limited range.
Bag Thrower: Looks like someone launching a bag of flour. Causes minor damage and has a stun effect. Limited Range.

Second Stage of Building Offensive: 4 parts in cost
Sling Shot: Looks like a little villager with outstretched arms who chucks acorns at the enemy, but in reality is a small, brown sling shot. The game lists it as a rapid fire turret. Fairly good in damage for the first few waves, but eventually needs an upgrade. Range increased from the previous specialty of Ball Launcher.
Cannon: Looks exactly as described, like a cannon. It can punch through multiple foes, so it's good for when you're slowing down a lot of the bad guys and getting a road block. The cannon is slightly slower than the Sling Shot and not quite as accurate as a result, but very effective when it does hit. Range increased from the previous specialty of Ball Launcher.
Second Stage of Building Defensive: 4 parts in cost
Sludge Thrower: Looks like a smear of green slime, the Sludge Thrower slows multiple foes. Very effective specialty to have; I usually build a Sludge Thrower opposite an Oil Thrower, because they really slow the enemy down, giving you more chances to terminate them. A slight increase in range from the Bag Thrower.
Oil Thrower: Looks like a black slime smear. When in use, it creates an oil slick. In my use, the Oil Thrower also slows multiple enemies down. When you slow one enemy down, the ones behind it slow too, because the one in front is in the way. I usually have several oil throwers that I never upgrade, because they are very effective at slowing the enemy. A slight increase in range from the Bag Thrower.

Third Stage of Building Offensive from Sling Shot: 5 parts in cost
Potion Slinger: Looks like someone throwing a poison bottle, which on contact explodes into purple gas. Does damage over time, and the range is not increased from the Sling Shot. I find it most effective to build a Potion Slinger only on Normal or Easy Mode, near where the soldiers are exiting. I haven't ever noticed that the enemy dies faster when hit with potions from even that far away from where I have my towers set up, so I wouldn't build too many of these.
Crossbow: Looks just like a little crossbow, and has one of the biggest ranges of any of the specialties, so it's great for long range shots to get in a few early hits on the enemy. It has high precision and damage, so over all a good choice to upgrade to.

Third Stage of Building Offensive from Cannon: 5 parts in cost
Gravel Cannon: Looks like the cannon, but with little pebbles on the end of it. The range does not increase from the original cannon, but the attack is markedly better because it spreads out to hit more enemies.
Rocket Launcher: It looks like a little red firework and launches just like one. The range increases from the Cannon, and has a great explosive damage at the end of its flight. I really like to use the Rocket launcher, because several of them can take out a few enemies very quickly and effectively.

Third Stage of Building Defensive from Sludge Thrower: 5 parts in cost
Net Thrower: This looks like a small little net when launched. Greatly slows a single foe, and range slightly increased from previous specialty. I usually only make one of these; closer to the enemies is better.
Wind Mill: This specialty looks like a giant fan that puffs out white air and slows multiple foes; range not increased from previous specialty. I don't like to use this slowing specialty that much, because it doesn't seem that effective.
Third Stage of Building Defensive from Oil Thrower: 5 parts in cost
Paint Thrower: This specialty blinds and confuses foes, does not increase in range from the Oil Thrower specialty and looks like someone throwing a splat of ketchup and mustard at you. This is a very good specialty to upgrade to. I usually have at least one of these built, and usually a fair distance from my cookies, so I get the most use out of them.
Water Thrower: This specialty reduces strength, mobility and durability. No increase in range from the Oil Thrower option and looks like a water balloon when launched. Another good specialty to upgrade to, I build one of these opposite of the Paint Thrower, so that I get the maximum use out of it.

Modes
Practice: Awards no points, but it gives you 100 parts to start practicing with and you start with 10 cookies. You also only play to 20 waves; they are not infinite.
Easy: Awards half the points of Normal Mode, offers bonuses in the form of extra time and supplies; starts with 8 cookies and 30 parts.
Normal: Awards full point amounts, but offers no bonuses. Starts with 6 cookies and 24 parts.
Hard: Awards twice as many points as Normal Mode, but only 5 cookies to start with and 18 parts. Restricts income and starting funds. No extra time provided.

Bad Guys and Waves:

We start with Wave 1, of course, and go all the way to Wave 20. When you beat Wave 20, or destroy King Skarl, that's the end of the game. As each Wave comes, it usually adds upon the last waves difficulty of bad guys. For those who are curious what comes out on all the levels, I have listed below all the bad guys. There are usually 3-6 of each that come out. The same amount of enemies come out on every mode, the different only being that on Hard mode there is no time in between waves to build things.

For full details, read the article when it is published in the NT! ~p

Strategies
Now that we have the basics of the game down, let's talk about a good strategy to beat all 20 Waves on each mode. I've developed a strategy that helps me win no matter what difficulty I play on, and I have outlined it below. Each mode is not that different in the overall strategy; the only difference being that you start off with a few less parts every time it you go to a harder difficulty, and each harder difficulty awards less parts, respectively. So, I have described the different ways I start each difficulty, but I will go in depth on Hard mode, because that's the goal most people will have in mind when trying to beat the game. When setting up on Easy or Normal, follow that description, and then jump to Hard mode to see the general idea of what to do next.
Please note: I know this strategy might not work for everyone, or some might even think they have a better strategy! This is just how I like to beat the game, and the strategy I find most effective.

Easy:
On easy, you start with 30 blocks. What I like to do is layer 2 rows of blocks around the castle/cookies, but leave a blank spot at the corner where the blocks would meet. In other words, 6 blocks on each side, lining the walls, and nothing for now connecting them in the middle. That should leave you with 18 parts left; enough to build 2 Sling Shot towers. Put one at each corner of the blocks you just placed; they should be opposite each other. (See the gap? You are going to place one tower on the north side of the horizontal running block wall, far left of that wall, and one tower on west side of the vertical running block row, the top of that wall.) Later, I like to build just 1 decoy right in the center, but it is not necessary. Read on to Hard mode for what to do next.

Normal:
You have 24 parts to work with, so line your castle walls, 3 blocks on each side. Again, don't place a block in the middle. Next, you are going to build 2 towers. See where you have a gap, and 3 blocks lining the walls on either side? You are going to place one tower on the north side of the horizontal running block wall, and one tower on west side of the vertical running block row. They should only be a few spaces apart from each other, so make sure you place them at the far left on the horizontal wall, and at the top of the vertical wall. Upgrade both to Sling Shot specialty, and then read on at Hard Mode.

Hard:
You don't have enough parts to line your walls this time, but you really don't need to. If you want to in the Normal and Easy mode, you can forgo lining your castle there, and just build more towers.

Next, you are going to build 2 towers and upgrade their specialty to the Sling Shot option. Please note: The placement of these towers is VERY important! See your castle? Their are 4 circular towers at each corner of the castle. The north-western tower (top, left) is where we are going to focus your fire power. Hover your tower placement icon over the circular tower, then move it up 2 spaces. Do the same thing again, only this time move it left 2 spaces. Upgrade both towers to the Sling Shot specialty.

Now, depending on what actions you take, where you place your towers, when you upgrade, the towers range, etc, the kind of towers you are going to use later on in the game will vary to your need. Myself, I like to set up 2 sets of offensive towers to start, 1 set of Sling Shot and 1 set of Cannon, then a set of defensive towers, one of the Oil Throwing specialty, and one of the Sludge Throwing specialty opposite one another.

Place your towers on either side of an invisible row. The row should head off at about a 45° angle from your castle. The bad guys will always walk the straightest path from Skarl's chest to your cookies, unless one side of the castle is more heavily guarded than the other. That's why it is important to make the rows parallel to each other, and well balanced.

The next part is mostly personal preference. Some people prefer to really slow them down, and then kill them off. Others prefer very little slowing down and lots of offensive towers. I prefer to use a 3:1 ratio; 3 offensive, 1 defensive. I don't always stick to that, but I find it helps balance things out.

My personal favorite towers for offensive are Oil Thrower, Water Thrower, Paint Thrower and Net Thrower. I usually have 2-3 Oil Throwers, and at least one of the other 3. I sometimes build a Sludge thrower as well, opposite an Oil Thrower; that combo seems to work well.
My favorite defensive towers are Crossbow, Rocket Launcher, and Gravel Cannon. Sometimes I have a few Sling Shots in there, when I can't spare the parts to upgrade more, but I just need more fire power. The same goes for cannons; either will serve you well.

I tend to only build out about 5-7 towers along my invisible road. After that, I start building towers in between on the back side of each row, still keeping the road clear for bad guys. Don't build along the inside of this row, because in the teen-Waves, monsters start killing your towers. If anything, keep them wide apart.

Some of you still might be wondering what order to place your towers in. So, I'll give a general line up of my towers and what specialty they are in each row. I list each tower at its most advanced or desirable specialty when on Hard mode, Wave 20.
Row 1: Starting at the castle and working my way out: Sling Shot, Rocket Launcher, Oil Thrower, Cannon, Rocket Launcher
Row 2: Starting at the castle and working my way out: Crossbow, Rocket Launcher (behind and between this and Crossbow another Rocket Launcher), Sludge Thrower, Net Thrower, (behind and between Sludge and Net a Rocket Launcher), Crossbow
Almost all of these were upgraded at least once in range. Between Wave 19 and 20, I lost 3 of my towers; 2 of them I lost near the end of Wave 19 and the last I lost on wave 20. Those 3 towers specialties were Cannon, Paint Thrower and Water Thrower. The Paint and Water were both the end caps on the 2 rows of towers, and the cannon was next to the Water Thrower. Also, you might want to note that I never lost a single cookie, or had my castle walls breached. You should also note that I never use decoys. If you set your invisible road up correctly, you won't ever need a decoy to lead the enemy where you want.

Another observation, I noticed that around the 17th wave is when they start to destroy your towers. You can tell when they are destroying them because they turn a dark gray. You have about 2 seconds to delete your tower yourself, which is what I try to do, before the tower turns to rubble and you get no parts. At least if you destroy the tower yourself, you get parts, and can rebuild it. When your block or tower turns to rubble, however, you cannot rebuild there, so be careful! Sometimes it's worth it to delete a block or tower and let them get 1 cookie, than have a whole bunch of ruble in prime firing areas.

Review
That about sums it up for this guide. I hope you found it easy to read, understand and enjoyable! Hopefully you will now have the confidence to take on that dastardly Skarl and his scheming cookie stealing ways, and triumph to victory on Hard mode. If you have any questions, comments, etc, please feel free to neomail me!

*munch*
Stale cookie- er, biscuit, anyone?

Editorial

Editorial Comments

Written by: [name removed for protection]
Note: The following questions were written to the ENV version of TNT and are intended for humorous purposes only. If the question-replier suggests using toothpaste as a glue to fix your boat and then to sail to China, this is our disclaimer to any injuries such parties might receive as a result of the disastrous sailing. You should also purchase the "How to Sail: A Book for Dummies".

~*~

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I dedne pu gnidnats no ym ,daeh nehw eht rorrim t'ndid korw .thgir aI t'nsaw erawa taht eht dettops ylf saw ,deregnadne tub I liiw kniht eciwt morf wno no erofeb gnittaws eht txen ylf taht seog .tsap sA ot eht ,sookhrans ll'uoy evah ot egassem eht laer TNT dna edulcni stol fo lacitammarg ,srorre tnarre skcor dna a wef seikooc ni eht ,egassem dna uoy THGIM teg a .esnopser

~*~

I have been wondering, when will the Veterans get the rewards you mentioned in the editorial, in issue 189? Stretch your memories, I know it was a looong time ago! But think about it for us poor veterans, who also have old and faulty memories. We have been very patient, in my opinion. Is there ANYTHING you can do for us, to tide us over until we get our own chat boards, free massages and unlimited NeoCash spending? (those last 2 were a joke ;)) ~[name removed], self proclaimed president of the Veterans Need Rewards Committee (VNRC)

Ah, we have heard of you and your "committee". You should understand, we are quite busy improving the newbie packs, insuring that you so-called Veterans never get FFQ's and that all appearances of Newbies getting more RE's seems just like that...an appearance. That being said, we cannot guarantee any rewards for you Veterans, but we can guarantee your account gets frozen for holding unauthorized Support the Veteran rallies on the wrong chat board. Have a nice day!

~*~

OMG my pet is, like, super hungry! And lyke, I have 25,531 NP but that like faerie girl thing says that I am too rich. But there are like a million richer peepz out there who have like way more money than me and that is just like not fair becaues i have been plating 4 a loooong time, like 5 months, and i think that I should be able to feed my pets if I have less than 100k because its totally not fair. By the way, you guys like so totally rock! Have a cookie! ~Your Typical Newbie

Thank you so much for pointing out this problem! As of now, anyone with an account under 24 months of age can feed their pet FOR FREE, regardless of the amount of money you have. And if you think that's great, just wait, it gets better. To help our newer players accumulate money faster, we will have a specific shop created just for you, that restocks R99 AND retired items. This shop will only be available to players with accounts younger than 24 months, and is our way of saying, thanks for playing Neopets. It will be located in the new land that will be released for the sole purpose of new members.
Oops, did we say that last bit out loud?

~*~

When will the pound work again?!?!!?! I've been waiting for a long time it seems for it to open back up, so I could transfer some pets around. Please please please fix the pound! Oh and please leave out my username.

That's a good question...we have a long list ahead of us, though, before we can reopen the pound. To give you a look at it:

Create an avatar for brand new members when the join

All new accounts get an extra spot to hold a pet

Random paint brush draw for newer accounts (12 months or younger)

Create a new faerie who asks only new members to help, and in return gives rare items

Write a note to ourselves to update shields
The list goes on quite a bit further than that, but don't worry, we are working on the pound.

Poems

Haiku

Managed by: plutoplus1

Haiku's written by various authors, compiled here for your convenience. Browse and enjoy!

I'm bored, very, very bored.
When will something happen here.
We need a new plot.
~andymanak

Kodie is away.
Work demands she stop playing.
Plus no power now.
~lovely_dress2087

The haiku is a
Most logical poem form.
Defenestration.
~puppy200010

pluto is a god
her demands we must answer
here is my haiku
~laurene4e13

We've been here a while
Veterans need their rewards
promised long ago
~star_ona

Super Smash Bros Brawl
The greatest game of them all
Comes out on March 9...
~nayaby

Sitting on my couch
I re'lize I am hungry
Dang it I am broke
~hotgirl1987

Well hello how are you
I am doing well I am surprised
But now I am done
~firebomb105

I am too lazy
To make up a good haiku
So this will do now.
~mewboy75

I refuse to do
a haiku, because I am
far too cool for it.
~tnumfive

Turmy is awake
So I sang sweetly to him
He gave me a book
~adaysleeper

Vet-Gazette returned.
We need another issue.
Please send New stories.
~Star_Ona

Is anyone here
trying to find a Silver
Brightvale Job Coupon
~pronkie_baby

The worst thing about
posting in haiku is where
to put the smilies
~pronkie_baby

I am still ringless
seems no one willing to sell
perhaps I should beg?
~dannos

I am dyslexic,
Boy how I hate Haiku(s),
Now leave me alone!
~roshinda

This is my new board.
If someone wants to chat now,
Help me reach my goal.
~orangeone

I went on the boards
to try and buy a new draik
the end was happy.
~orangeone

The space fey is fierce
Bryght's fighting pet grows discouraged
But we will win.
~bryght

Veteran Poem

By: plutoplus1

V ery rich (haha!) Neopian players who have
E verything that they want except
T heir Veteran rewards, which they have been waiting for
E ver so long a time.
R eally, TNT, you think we could've got
A few of them by now, but
N o, we are too busy updating other portions of the
S ite. But we are patient, and we continue to wait.

Pet Spotlights

Pet Spotlight

By: May
Winner of the pet spotlight goes to...

CupOfHotCocoa

owned by punkers15

CupOfHotCocoa, or 'Cocoa' for short, likes to lounge about the neohome while her siblings clean up after her. She's a bit selfish, and quite a bully at times. She is also the stat muncher, and constantly takes away faerie quest stats from zippyboo and Prothumos, who are both training to be great battledomers. She does, however, have a sweet and loving personality, and enjoys eating chocolates that are given to her. She loves her petpet, Millie, and plays with it every chance she gets.

Petpet Spotlight

By: May
The Winner for the petpet spotlight is . . .

Meep_Dexter_Gorc
Owned by nayaby and attached to Arty261

Meep and Dexter are a formidable duo, a mix of the robotic Roburg3T3 and pure evil Meepit. The two are members of PPSWD (Petpets and Petpetpets Seeking World Domination), a secret organisation that just happens to be seeking world domination... a coincidence, I think not! They also have a guard Blechy that goes by the name of Gorc.

Stories

How the The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity Got Its Name

By: Firebomb105; Guest appearances by plutoplus1 and puppy200010

One day Artie the Faerie Koi was on a trip flying around Neopia. Artie liked to take trips all over and did so on a regular basis, but rarely did he fly to Faerie Land as he was always nervous they would not like him having his wings and unbless him. Today, though, it was just so pretty out he could not resist, so up and over Faerieland he was flying.

It was one of those beautiful days where you can see forever; he flew all the way around the outside of Faerie city and started feeling very tired. Where can I stop? he thought. Just when he was feeling so tired that he thought he was going to die he spotted a nice soft cloud (thank goodness!). When he landed, he rested for a minute, before deciding to get a look at his surroundings.

Over in the corner, he noticed a curious blue speck. Hmmm I wonder what that is? he thought, as he walked on over to it. As he got closer and closer he saw it was a little blue grundo. Wow! he thought. What would a grundo be doing up here on a cloud outside of Faerieland? he wondered. What a strange thing, how could he have even gotten up here? The grundo didn't even have wings as he was just blue not a faerie grundo.

Being a bit timid Artie debated going any closer, but since the grundo was so cute he decided to risk it. As he got even closer he realized it wasn't a real grundo but a cute plushie grundo someone must have dropped. He couldn't believe his luck, he was so happy. He had a wonderful time playing with the grundo plushie.

Just a bit later, though, he heard him Mom calling him. He thought about taking the grundo plushie home with him but decided it would be more fun to come visit it here.

On the way home he had great luck; he found a codestone and knew him Mom would use it to train him making him stronger. Then just a bit further along he found some neopoints that someone must have dropped! Wow, what good fortune! he though. His Mom would be really happy as she loved to train him at school but couldn't always afford to.

Two days later, when Artie was out flying around he decided to go visit the blue grundo plushie again. He had had so much fun the last time he couldn't resist. So off he flew to Faerie Land and the cloud he had rested on before and there was his pal. He was so happy that no one else had taken him. This time as he picked him up Artie swore he saw a little gleam in the grundo's eye, but that was impossible, wasn't it? he thought to himself. He played for a few hours then heard his Mom call him again.

This time on the way home he found a paintbrush and transformation potion. Wow, Mom is going to be so excited, what incredible luck! he thought.

Again a few days later Artie couldn't resist going to visit his pal the blue grundo plushie and this time Artie swore he really did see a glint in the grundo's eyes! He played for hours again having a wonderful time. When his Mom called he really didn't want to go home but knew he would be in trouble if he didn't go right away. On the way home he found all kinds of great stuff, again! This time it was some neopoints and a doll. Now he was starting to wonder. This seemed like much more than a coincidence. It must have something to do with the grundo. Maybe that glint in his eyes meant something.

The next time Artie visited the grundo plushie he looked even closer at his pal and noticed that he kind of sparkled all over. Since sparkling usually meant that someone had been blessed, Artie knew this was no ordinary blue grundo plushie. He was a magical plushie. Artie was very excited and decided that such a special plushie needed a name of some sort. He thought and thought and tried out several ordinary names but they just didn't seem right. So he decided to go with something that just made sense and to call the blue grundo plushie: The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity, as every time he visited him he prospered and had good luck. He still thought all the time about taking the Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity home with him after every visit. This way, he thought, I could have good luck all the time instead of just on my way home. So he decided that he was going to take him home and then he and his mom would be really lucky.

So off he flew with his pal the blue grundo safely tucked into his fire faerie backpack. But this time instead of good luck it seemed to be all bad! It started to thunder and lightening as he left Faerie Land, then for no reason at all his pocket ripped open and all his neopoints went flying. What was going on??? It must be because of the Magical Blue Grundo Plushie, he thought suddenly. I should never have removed it!

Artie turned around and as fast as he could flew back to the cloud where he had found the Grundo. As soon as he put the grundo back down on the cloud, the sky cleared and the sun came out. Wow! I guess he wants to stay here! Artie thought. I promise little pal I will never take you from here again!

As he looked at the Plushie, again he swore its eyes glinted! This time when he got home he decided to tell his Mom about all his experiences with the Magical Grundo Plushie. His mom worked for the Neopian Times (in the mail room as she didn't know how to write stories and articles the way Puppy and Pluto and those guys do).

He told her all about the magical grundo plushie he had found and how every time that he would play with it he would be really lucky and find stuff. Then he told her that he tried to bring him home and what had happened. His Mom knew that if she told the reporters they would write a story to tell all of Neopia about the grundo plushie. After much debate they decided that letting everyone in Neopia know about something so wonderful was important, so she called up Pluto, one of her most trusted friends at the Neopian Times and asked her to come over to hear an incredible story.

Pluto came over and Artie told them all about The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity. But Artie never did tell them exactly where The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity was, explaining that if he was moved it could no longer bestow prosperity on whomsoever finds it!

Pluto was very happy to write the article for all of Neopia to learn of the magical grundo; the story even went on the front page! So although many Neopians have found the The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity over the years, no one dares to take him away. Everyone just visits and then leaves him there for the next Neopian to play with.

And that is how the Blue Grundo Plushie, that is still hanging out in Faerie Land, got his name and why no one has taken him away.

The Demise of Chuckles

By: neo37633

Growing up in neopia central, little Benny Chuckles tried his best to be normal. It was tough, because both his parents were clowns, as were their parents. So naturally he was very clown-like. The problem, though, was everybody knew it. Every day at NeoSchool, the other kids requested him to be funny. He obliged, because he was naturally good at it. He didn't particularly enjoy acting funny, but it was the only way he could be popular. Benny Chuckles eventually settled into his role at class--school clown. For several years, he was the one who anybody went to when they needed a laugh. By this time, Chuckles (his first name was all but forgotten) was happy to provide the laughs.

For the most part, life went smoothly for the clowny kacheek, until the first day of his 8th year in school. Chuckles' downfall in popularity came in the form of a new student: Jimmy "Funny Bone" the jetsam. From the first day of school, Jimmy established his place as a joker. Telling much more mature jokes, and playing practical jokes, all the kids loved him. It only took a few weeks for them to replace Chuckles in his unofficial position. All the pets had outgrown his humor, and were flocking to "Funny Bone" for laughs. The change of position became especially evident one day during lunch. Chuckles had just come from the cafeteria line with a plate full of materials for something funny he was planning to do during lunch to see if he could get some laughs. As he walked towards his table, he saw something shiny laying in the aisle right ahead of him. Carefully balancing his tray on his left arm, he stooped down to pick up the object. He picked it up, examined it for a few seconds, and started to get up. Just then, a fin came down from behind him and slammed into the tray that was still balanced. All the contents of the tray flipped into the air, and onto Chuckles' face. A ripple of conversation went throughout the room, followed by a few seconds of silence. Then all at once, the entire cafeteria broke out in hysterical laughter. Chuckles slowly turned around, already knowing who he'd see. Sure enough, standing behind him, with his fins crossed, and that smug smile all jetsams' seem to have, was "Funny Bone". Too embarrassed to say a word, and too mad to stay in the room, Chuckles dashed through the doors and down the hallway to the nurses office. The nurse was away on lunch, so he left a note saying he wasn't feeling well, and had gone home. Chuckles ran all the way home with broccoli stuck in his hair, and tears in his eyes. Convincing his mother he was sick, Chuckles stayed home from NeoSchool for several days, with the intention of never returning. During these few days, Chuckles planned his revenge on his schoolmate.

The day he picked wasn't random; on this day, the whole school had to go for fitness testing in the gym. By tradition, whoever holds the record for each test goes first. Jimmy was the strongest, fastest, and biggest pet in the school. Chuckles had his plan perfected. Keeping an eye out for Funny Bone, Chuckles went over the plot in his head while he walked:

When I get to school, I need to immediately go to the kitchen and get all the baked beans-- Hopefully I can fit them all in my backpack... I need to run fast to the gym and set up before the bell...I may have to be late, but it doesn't matter, I won't be going to school anymore anyways.

Chuckles ran the last couple blocks, through the doors of his school and down the hall and into the empty kitchen. He quickly stuffed 10 cans into his backpack, and raced off.

"They'll never forget me again after today," Chuckles thought as he ran.

RIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! The class bell sounded as students packed up their supplies, and headed for the locker room to change for fitness testing. Not all the students, but Chuckles didn't bother thinking about what they were going to do. Instead, he thought about what laid ahead. There was no way he was going to get away with this. He slowly walked towards the gymnasium and imagined the look on Funny Bones' face as the beans rained from the sky and onto his head. He was awakened from his little daydream with a start as he tumbled to the ground on top of a huge figure against the wall.

"OOWWWWWW!!! HEY MAN, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOI-" Funny Bone turned to see who he was talking to "LOOOOK WHO'S BACK!" he snarled, when he saw it was Chuckles.

"If I didn't have somewhere to be, I'd give you a proper welcome. Lucky for you, though, it's gonna have to wait." Funny Bone started to stand and walk away only to be crippled by pain in his side. He turned looked down, only to see that his tumble over Chuckles resulted in a deep bloody gash caused the edge of a vent in the hall.

"Awwwwwww man! This will make it real hard to break all my own records! Thanks a lot Chuck!" Funny Bone said this last part with as much venom in his voice as he could muster, and stormed off. Chuckles trailed slowly behind, even more glad that he had decided about what he was going to do.

"ALRIGHT, STUDENTS, LINE UP BY CLASS, AND LISTEN UP!" Galvinor, the schools Giant Grundo gym teacher, always yelled everything he said. "I WANT THIS TO GO QUICKLY AND SMOOTHLY, THE FIRST TEST IS THE ROPE CLIMB. JIMMY, AS THE CURRENT RECORD HOLDER, YOU GO FIRST. STEP UP!"

Funny Bone approached, wincing with every step. He reached the rope, gripped it firmly and waited for the signal.

"WAAAAAIIIT! YOU'RE BLEEDING! GO SEE THE NURSE IMMEDIATELY!" Galvinor directed

"I'm fine Mr. Galvin-"

"IMMEDIATELY!!"

"Yessir"

"ALRIGHT, SINCE JIMMY IS OUT OF COMISSION, I'LL JUST CHOOSE WHO GOES FIRST. UMM...let's see..."

"Wait, sir," Funny Bone interrupted, "I think I should be the one to choose."

"I guess that's only fair…"

"Chucky." Funny Bone said with a crude smirk; he then turned and left the gym.

"BENNY! PLEASE APPROACH THE ROPE!"

"No sir." Chuckles said, rapidly thinking of ways to get out of the suddenly backfiring situation.

WHAT?! YES YOU WILL!" Galvinor stomped forward and gripped Chuckles arm to lead him to the task. "GRAB THE ROPE YOUNG MAN" Chuckles complied. "NOW CLIMB! CLIMB TO THE TOP! YOU CAN DO IT!" Chuckles looked at the gym floor dejectedly, and tugged hard on the rope. The rope coiled down to the ground, followed by a cascade of greasy brown beans, that poured all over Chuckles' head. Bested once again (even if it was unintentional) Chuckles sprinted out of the school enraged, leaving a trail of beans behind him.

Chuckles never returned to school. In fact, he's rarely even been seen since. Benny "Chuckles" ran all the way to the haunted woods where he built a tree house out of grass and twigs. He stayed there waiting for a chance to destroy Funny Bone, waiting for the moment that would redeem him from his NeoSchool days. Innocent passersby have told stories of Mr. Chuckles springing on them, and rambling incoherently from all the years of deranged seclusion. If you ever encounter this fallen clown, just laugh at his gibberish, for his jokes are quite hilarious. Don't laugh, and suffer the consequences: a relentless attack with altered pranks, crafted to maim. Few survive. The sad story of Mr. Chuckles' life isn't over, but he thinks it is.

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