Alright so you just saw your ultimate dream pet and fainted. Or maybe not fainted. But you still saw your ultimate dream pet and you want it. Bad.

And then suddenly you realize that you can't just have it. You need to apply. How? What? When? Why? And you're absolutely useless at coding. Your world just came crashing down with the hopes of being able to own said dream pet.

But wait, what's this? You can have neomail applications? Why yes, yes you can. And that's why I'm here.

So first of all, what's the object of this neomail application? To tell the owner how you will feed and play with their pet, right? Wrong. I mean, yes, that's important too but a neomail application isn't just any old neomail application. It's as important as a petpage application, maybe even more.

In petpage applications you can have all the amazing artwork and the pwnsome coding and graphics you want and impress the foster parent with any sort of visuals. Neomails are a different story altogether. You have text, text, and yet more text. The most that will happen is that the foster parent gets tired of reading your application because it's so long and, I dunno, full of TEXT.

So it's hopeless making neomail apps? Absolutely NOT.
Neomail applications have a good chance of being chosen if you make yours right. And how do you make it right? You follow a few simple rules.

I cannot tell you how important this is. Read the name of the pet properly, read the rules of the foster parent properly, read any details regarding accounts properly. Read like you've never read before and put it all down in a place you can easily get at. You don't want to end up breaking any rules or sending your neomail to the wrong account.

Despite however much of patience a foster parent might have, it isn't nice to see a large neomail application sitting in your account, waiting to be read like the other hundreds of neomail applications, when you're expecting a quite uneventful time to play and have fun. Personally, I always set my privacy setting to 'Neofriends Only' to avoid this whenever I foster out pets. The applications become hard to sort and the parent has to keep logging in and out of accounts just to compare applications while making the final decision.

So read all the rules. Most foster parents have a questionnaire that you have to answer. Copy-paste this questionnaire onto a spare document before you start off typing the answers.

Now you begin answering the questionaire...

First of all, start off by introducing yourself. List all your accounts, each and every side account too. Never EVER lie to any foster parent because A) if they find out, they'll be really mad, and B)if you need to lie about yourself for this, it really isn't worth it. You're getting a pet to take care of it and have fun with it. It's unfair if you get the pet and then get frozen for breaking the rules or something.

After you list all your accounts, start telling the foster parent about your plans for the pet. This is THE most important part of your application and the part that the recipient is going to judge the most. There are a few basics that most of us like to know about, while adopting out a pet. I've listed them down here to make it easier:

1. Will they get a petpet? If so, what species will it be? Elaborate a little on this point.
2. Will they be entered into the Beauty Contest? Will you roleplay them? At this point I must stress on the point that you should NOT lie to you foster parent here either. So what, if you don't draw your pets? That doesn't mean you'll be a bad owner, and every good foster parent knows this.
3. What character will you give them? If you don't generally give your pets a character, say so and leave it at that. I know a good number of happy character-less pets and I do not judge people as owners based on this fact. I will elaborate more on characters later.

Then you tell the foster parent about why you want their pet. What first caught your eye about this pet? Has it been your long-time dream pet? Why is it your dream pet? Just remember never to go on and on about how you are enthralled by Fluffy. A simple paragraph will do the trick.

Lastly, you tell the owner about why you should be chosen. Talk about anything and everything you do for your pets here – about how you love them, care for them, never trade them, etc. Show that all your present pets are really happy and that you do a lot for them. This is the main thing that I generally base my decisions on – the state of current pets – so it's good to give a little insight on what you do for them. I personally love it when owners keep petlookups and petpets ready for my fosters. A few things in your gallery dedicated to Fluffy would be a very sweet way to show your love for him.

Then you conclude by adding in a few sentences about how you felt while making your applications and always remember to thank the foster parent for their time. They usually have very less time and reading millions of applications can get rather drab so a little thank you can go a long way.

Yes. Despite however badly you want to type "Gimme ur pet NOW! I WANT it!" you have to remember that you want the foster parent to understand how much you love this pet without filling their inboxes with silly neomails in all caps, thank you.

Always remember to frame your sentences in a way that will not seem offensive or demanding to the reader. For e.g. If you want to say "I really want your pet" it might sound better if you put it like this: "I would be very honoured if Fluffy came home with us."

Or if you want to say "I am the best person for Fluffy, duh!" it would be much MUCH better to put it as "I feel that I will be able to really take good care of Fluffy." Soon enough you'll get the hang of it and will be able to keep your fingers in check. Always re-read what you've typed so that you don't send anything you will regret later.

Alright so you come to the most substantial part of your neomail. This is where you can truly show how much you've thought about adopting said pet, and how much you will do for him.

Start off by framing a main character for him with a few words: sad, happy, angry, kind, etc.

Then you can begin building up the character. Say, for example, I want to apply for Fluffy whose character is sad. Now why is he sad? Doesn't anyone help him get out of his sadness? Why doesn't anyone help him? Does he like people helping him? Why doesn't he?

Ask yourself more and more questions and soon you'll really get to know Fluffy. Then you can start writing about Fluffy. Another thing you can add here is stories and poetry. But it would be better if you put them on a petpage (just plain text, no formatting needed) so that your neomail doesn't look too long and daunting. A huge block of text often puts off readers who have been at this for another million applications.

Poetry is also good to put in an application. The descriptive words and rhyming or rhythmic way of reading it usually appeals to most people. Artwork is not necessary but you may put some on a petpage and link to it in your application.

Now you have Fluffy's petpet. You can include him in the story too. Say Fluffy's petpet is Fido. How did Fluffy find Fido? How is Fido an important part of Fluffy's life? Now in keeping with my original example, say Fluffy found Fido loitering around the streets homeless and took him home. Then Fido began to love Fluffy as his owner and made Fluffy feel wanted and happy. Now if Fluffy's happy, there isn't any point going on about how Fluffy is so sad.

So you've found an ending to your story as well as having included the pet's petpet. Awesomesauce.

And that's the end of your character section!

This is also really important. Go through your application a million times and check for grammar or spelling errors. The first impression you want to make on the foster parent is that of being literate and something spelt 'lyk dis' or 'lik thi s' is not going to help at all. Always spell the pet's name right. It is very disheartening to see your beloved foster's name spelt in a hundred different ways – Fluffie, Floffy, Floofie, Floff, etc. And most of all get the gender right!

Fluffy is a boy.

Fluffy is a boy.

Fluffy is a boy.

Why yes, yes he is. And you don't want to put "I want Fluffy because she is..." in your application. That just shows the foster parent that you don't care about Fluffy enough to know some basic facts about him. Which is, in many ways, a bad thing.

Always remember to read through your story a lot of times. A perfect story can be completely spoilt by simple typing errors. They take away all the fun of reading a good piece of writing. Run your whole application through a spell check if possible. It helps a LOT, believe me. When all you've got is text, you want to make sure that your text is proper.

So now you're through with your application. Do a few last minute checks on whether you've put in all the links properly. Re-read all the foster parent's rules and make sure you haven't broken any of them.

Then split your application up into smaller parts because there is a limit to how much you can put into one neomail (only 1400 characters in on NM). Each part should go in one neomail. Always separate the different sections, e.g. Why Me in one neomail, Why Fluffy in another. If one section is too long by itself, (the character section can be rather long) then split that up into parts but do not club the parts with another section however small they are. You don't want any confusion here. Always number the different parts of your application e.g. Fluffy Application: Part 1, Fluffy Application: Part 2, and so on and so forth, to make things easier for the foster parent.

Then you send it in and you wait.

After you send it in, you just have to wait. Don't keep neomailing to ask the foster parent whether they've received your application, or whether you are chosen. It will just irk them more.

If you feel that for some reason they haven't seen your application, wait until you're completely sure of this before sending in one polite neomail asking if they have. If they reply saying they haven't, you can send it again. If they reply saying they have, that's that. If they do not reply at all, don't keep sending them the neomail over and over again trying to get a reply. After all, they're working hard reading many applications too; don't bug them in any way. They WILL reply after they're done with whatever they're busy with.

After that all you can do is wait for updates from the foster parent! I hope this guide helps you understand how to write a neomail application!

One Neomail Applications

Well a one-neomail application should be just have all your information. There are, after all, only 1400 characters in one neomail. I would advise you to copy-paste it elsewhere and do a character-count before you try to send it in.
Always construct your sentences in a shorter way to save characters. e.g. 'He will be an evil and wicked little dragon who wants to trick people' will be shorter when written as 'He is an evil swindling dragon.' Remember that spaces also count as characters so just reducing the characters in your words will not reduce your total character count. Here's a basic structure of how much you need to write for each topic:

Salutation: Say hi and state which pet you are applying for.
1 line: List your accounts, mention which account the pet is to go on.
2-3 lines: Talk about the pet's character.
3-4 lines: Discuss your plans for the pet.
1 line: Talk about the pet's petpet.
3-4 lines: Talk about why you want the pet.
Finish: Thank the foster parent for their time and tell them that they can always neomail you for more information. That's your one-neomail application, in a nutshell!

Many Neomails

Well if you're doing a longer application than one neomail, remember to split it up right. Three to four neomails is the ideal size for a neomail application. It should go something like this:

Neomail 1: Salutation: Say your hello here. Introduce yourself a little in brief.
3-4 lines: List all your accounts and tell the foster parent where the pet in concern will reside.
5-6 lines: Talk about the pet's character here. Make it as long as possible.

Neomail 2:
5-6 lines: Discuss your plans for the pet and the pet's story in brief.
3-4 lines: Talk about the petpet you will give the pet.
1-2 lines: You can add anything extra here: a quote for more pizzazz or you can add an extra sentence in any of the above.

Neomail 3:
5-6 lines: Talk about why you want the pet.
3-4 lines: Talk about why you should be chosen as their owner.
1-2 lines: Conclude again by thanking the foster parent, and asking them to neomail you for more details if they need them.

Always be polite and friendly with foster parents. You want to come across as a perfect owner and perfect owners are not rude people with horrid typing skills. Do a character count and then reduce a few more characters (only a couple to be on the safe side) as formatting also counts in the character limit. If you must format your neomails in a specific font size/style, you will have to reduce the size of your actual text.

So...I decided to ask around and get some opinions from foster parents about what they want in their neomail applications. Here are the replies I got:

Sara said,

The Neolodge is easy, but to me it doesn't matter as long as the person will obviously care for the pet. Some people show that by playing with/feeding them all the time. Some will show that by writing stories/drawing. Some by both. But not everyone - in fact, some will do neither and still care for their pets. Part of being a foster parent for me is separating each individual case, not holding anything missing against the applicant and seeing which person on the whole would be the best possible owner.

Tanith said,

One of the wonderful things about Neopets, to me, is the variety of ways that people can play it. You can be a gamer, a battledomer, a restocker, a chatter, a guilder, a rp'er, a bc'er, or any combination of those things. You can be a good Neopian and be all of those things. And...at some point, there's a distinction between good Neopian and good Neopet owner. Most of us foster owners are biased towards the RP'er/artist type. But I think even if you're on Neopets only for your guild, or your gallery, or whatever -- you can take the like, 10 minutes it would take to give your pet a petpet and a lookup. And if someone did that and then said "Well really I'm a restocker on Neopets, but my pets are well taken care of and I enjoy seeing them while I play", I'd actually really respect that.

If you'd like to link to this guide go ahead and put the following button on your petpages!

<a href="http://www.neopets.com/~perle_de_crystaux"><img src="http://i360.photobucket.com/albums/oo49/lilydreamz/requests/Anythingbutton2.png"></a><p>

A huge thank you to those who helped me with this page! I would have never got it back up without you. :)

Kaie! (_rein) and her coding monkeys for the wonderful layout!

Sarah! (daydreamer2297) for the uber-spiffy graphics you see all around the place. :)

Sara (cryolysis) and Tanith (romanticism) for sharing their opinion.

Feel free to neomail me (politely) if you have any comments or suggestions or even an opinion of your own. :)