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 In Defence of Fostering: A message from rainbow_daydreamer Jump To: Miss Controversiality Foster Parents are Cruel! Foster Parents are Unnecessary! Case Study: Aste Foster Parents are Selfish! Foster Parents are Illegal!" **UPDATE** Foster Parents, Get Off The Help Chat! Foster Parents are Too Demanding! (Updated 23/07/Y8) Get the Word Out Mem Herself  You can call me Dream. I'm a 3-year Neopian, an owner of twelve beautiful and fabulous pets, and a fairly unmemorable Times writer. Nothing out of the ordinary there. However, I have to say that I am, in some ways, a misunderstood Neopian. In the past few months, I've been screamed at by Neomail, frowned at by 56-monthers, and had an entire Neoboard turn on me on at least two occasions. Probably, by the time you read this, three. Yet I'm not a scammer, a hacker, a lawyerbot, a n00b, a beggar or even a supporter of Jhudora. (Illusen all the way.) I'm something much more innocent than any of those. The fact is, I'm a foster parent. For those Neopians who don't know what the term means, a quick explanation. Foster parents such as myself take in homeless pets who, for whatever reason, find themselves without a human to take care of them. (I have nine spare rooms that always have foster pets in them. Making twenty pets in all�- it can get a bit hectic in here.) Then, thanks to the Lab Ray, a few codestones and a lot of tender loving care, we make them a bit more likely to catch the eye of some stranger. Because�- it's a strange thing, but true�- a lot of humans aren't very good at distinguishing between, say, one Blue Kacheek and another, and spotting their unique character. But no-one can fail to have their attention caught by a pet that looks more unusual than the others. So, showing off the pet like crazy, we start taking letters and messages from people who might like to be his or her new owner. Once we've asked the applicants a few questions, we'll choose one to give the formerly homeless pet a forever home where he or she will always be loved. Nice, huh? You'd be amazed how many people don't think so. From Times writers to Neoboard celebrities, there are a few myths that continue to circulate despite their untruth. In order to try and change your mind, then, if you ever heard one of these claims, I'll go through the most common, one by one. (If you have heard a negative myth about foster parents that isn't posted here, feel free to tell me.) Myth #1: Foster Parents are cruel.  The most common version of this myth, which has appeared on several occasions in the Neopian Times, is that anyone who uses the Lab Ray on their pets is a heartless mad-scientist type who couldn't care less about their "experiments." If you interview a random sample of foster parents, you'll find that in fact, quite the reverse is true. I've been fostering for more than a year, and none of my pets have ever become unhappy through use of the Lab Ray, or been hurt even enough to lose one hit point. [The Lab Ray] doesn't change pets' mood at all, points out an indisputable expert on the subject. As for the claim that foster parents don't care about the pets they foster, nothing could be further from the truth. Anyone who's read one of my agency's advertising boards will know that any new foster in our Neohome is treated like an extra member of the family, bought new toys, read to, groomed regularly and kept well-fed. It's difficult to manage at times with nine fosters to tend to, but I keep my head above water. The second version of this idea concerns the fact that I give away the pets I've labbed. I'd like to point out that sending a pet to a chosen new owner, who is going to care for him or her, by a method which makes the pet pass through part of the Neopian Pound for approximately five seconds, cannot sensibly be compared to those strange owners who choose to leave a pet ownerless without a thought to his or her new home. No pet leaves the Agency without a guaranteed new home. Is this cruel? I don't think so. Of course, it's a little distressing for both of us when a pet I've come to know moves out forever, but I know that his or her new owner will most likely be able to pay the pet more attention than an owner of twenty lively pets could. Myth #2: Fostering is unnecessary  The typical complaint in this case goes something along the lines of: There's really no need for you to do this. Pets get disowned, pets get adopted. What's the point? I'll tell you what the point is: it's about quality of life. It's true that most homeless pets, not counting instances of the Lorrenn Phenomenon, DO get adopted. However, have you looked at the homes that a lot of them get? Many, often scorned by more veteran users who see only their appearance and not their true selves, are taken in by newbies who then lose the secretword to their accounts, fall for a scam, or simply forget that they ever knew the way to Neopia. Others become the property of Neopians who decide that their new pet is not for them after all, and send that unfortunate pet to another stay in the Neopian Pound, shattering his or her dreams of a loving owner and damaging his or her faith in human owners. None of this will ever happen to a foster pet! To begin with, once the pets under treatment have their newly altered coats, newbies can't take them in. But more importantly, a new owner is chosen for them, not at random as they would be in the Pound, but with a home where attention and love are guaranteed. Meanwhile, they have a far better time while they're waiting than a Neopet in the Pound would, and their foster parent (and his or her own Neopet helpers) does his or her best to restore the pet's optimism and loving nature. Better deal all round, really.  If you aren't convinced this works in practice, I would like you to meet Aste. Rescued by a dear girl named Lisa when she (Aste, not Lisa) was a green Uni, Aste didn't look to have the best of futures ahead of her. When it became clear that Lisa couldn't take care of her any more, her name and species seemed to add up to a long stay in the Pound. While I don't want to slight Dr. Death and Rose for the good work they do, looking after hundreds of pets at a time doesn't make for the nicest environment for a young Uni. After talking to Lisa, I took in Aste and gave her the White Lupe look that she had when she left my house. More importantly, I managed to locate Wagena, a lovely girl who was immediately fascinated by Aste's individual character and beauty, and who matched the Lupe perfectly. Now, as well as the Petpet and toys I gave her, Aste's got a wonderful home and couldn't be happier. Myth #3: Foster parents are selfish/don't want their pets to be adopted  Believe it or not, I do see foster parents accused of this quite regularly, and I still don't know why. Um, hello? Neopia to guest? We aren't doing this for the good of our health here. As a matter of fact, if I didn't care about the plight of homeless pets, I'd be a Neomillionaire by now. That's as true as tuppence. I estimate that the Neopoints I've spent on foster pets in the past year-and-a-bit comes close to a million NP. It's gone on the lab map, the petpet lab, toys, books, paintbrushes, petpets, brushes� So you can forget about that selfishness accusation. As for not wanting our pets to be adopted� that's what we're here for! If you've come to this opinion, there's only a couple of possibilities: (1) You accidentally asked a foster parent for a pet who isn't up for adoption. Some people do make this mistake, and it doesn't mean that the foster parent hates you or doesn't want a home for ANY of her pets. We all just have most beloved pets who we couldn't bear to see moving out of our Neohomes. (2) You're too young. A rule exists in Neopia that more unusual pets, or those of particular strength, are too much for anyone who's had less than four months' experience of this world. Be patient. (3) You just weren't what the foster pet was looking for on this occasion. This applies especially to people who send neomails on the lines of "I love your painted pet, please may I have it?" That kind of message doesn't paint a very good picture of you as a potential owner. You'll probably be told what you did to provoke a negative reaction from the foster parent, and in some cases you may be able to fix it. If not, try again! Myth #4: Fostering is Illegal Let me make this clear. TNT has said on at least two occasions that they approve of fostering. It certainly isn't illegal, and anyone who says it is clearly isn't up-to-date. An important point: No genuine foster parent will ever try to "sell" a Neopet. Any so-called foster parent who offers you the chance to "buy" their pet, whether it's for Neopoints, items, another pet, or even artwork, is a SHAMEFUL FRAUDSTER who should be reported AT ONCE. It's people like that, defrauding innocent Neopians and treating Neopets like mere commodities, who give fostering a bad name.  What Mem thinks of shameful fraudsters! Extra! The editorial of Issue 245 of the Neopian Times confirms that applications for foster pets are 100% legal. Here is a link to the editorial in question, but the relevant question is reproduced below. Question: Hi TNT. I saw someone on the boards who said that making applications for pets is against the rules because it's basically begging for the pet. If the pet is up for adoption, is it really against the rules? After all, some people put a LOT of effort into those apps. Thanks! ~ bananas_and_cream Answer: Agh! No, applications are fine, as long as the player understands that the Neopet is NOT guaranteed to them, even if they are chosen. Anything can happen in the pound. Begging is more along the lines of making boards such as, "IZ NE1 ABANDONING A CYBUNY? can i have it plzzzzzzzzzz?" If a person posts, "I am abandoning a Cybunny, please post here with the reasons you think you should get him/her," and someone responds with reasons, it falls more into the area of asking than begging. Of course, if the person responding degenerates into spamming: "PICK ME PLZZZZZ! PLZZZZZZZ! PLZZZZZZZZ!" well, that's another story. What we're saying is, please just use common sense. Foster parents should stay off the HC  The HC is the Help Chat, for the uninitiated, and rarely a day goes by when I don't hear myself or some other foster parent told that we don't belong there, or at any rate, that we shouldn't use it to advertise. And guess what? In a way, I agree with you. If there was a Neoboard specifically dedicated to fostering and the finding of new owners, I'd refrain from using the HC for that purpose and tell off those who did. However, TNT has decided that such a board isn't necessary, and, moreover, -- Neopian Times editorial, 16th day of Running, Y8. One final point before I leave this topic. It's not just fully-pampered foster pets that are advertised on the Neoboards. Many of my foster pets originally came from the HC. If their former owners hadn't said anything, I'd never have found a new subject and they'd not have had the reassurance of a good foster home. Even Mem, my permie darling, is one of those pets. The advertisement you condemn on the HC could be an owner and pet's chance of happiness together. It was certainly Mem's and mine. Myth #6: Applications are Too Demanding  A slightly hazier area, this. It's one of the claims I hear made most commonly against foster parents. For this myth, unlike many of the others, I can actually see where people are coming from. However, that's not to say they're in the right. A foster pet, be it an Island Grundo or a Faerie Peophin, is a pet that somebody has spent time with. The unpredictability of the lab means that these pets often stay for more than a month. It's natural for the foster parent to get to know the pet. When the time comes for the little foster to move out, we want to make sure they're going to the best possible home. Which is where the whole issue of applications comes in. People have claimed that they're too time-consuming and pointless. As I see it, there's a very real point, and it's this: If an owner is too busy, lazy, or careless to spend half an hour answering interview questions by Neomail, or to write a little bit about him- or herself on a petpage, how much time and attention are we to assume s/he will have to spend on his/her new pet? No, of course applications aren't about HTML and artwork, and anyone who relies on those alone is no real foster parent. But even the most anti-fostering Neopians admit that they wouldn't give a pet they'd come to love to a complete stranger with unknown intentions. Applications are no more and no less than a way of getting to know a potential owner better. Yes, I do know that people are capable of stretching the truth in an application. But anything is better than nothing, surely? By talking to an applicant, we can get a much better idea of a pet's future owner than we could, say, on a board on the HC (as I'm constantly being yelled at to do.) Whether intentionally or accidentally, applicants show us whether a pet would truly be loved for itself, or simply exist as a trophy, something to be shown off. We can also ask very important questions such as "Have you ever abandoned a pet?" or "Well, why are you interested in Kitty?" They're a foster parent's most useful tool. If foster parents didn't think people were WILLING and ABLE to do a little bit of work to show they care, then we would not ask it of others. --Karumira Of course we've got rules. They're common sense things, such as "Please do not neomail the new owner if the pet gets lost in transfer" and "Please call my pet by his or her gender, not 'it'", designed to make sure that both foster parent and potential owner know where they stand. And sometimes, we may ask for a confirmation that you've read them, such as a phrase that's mentioned in the rules. Does any of this sound at all unreasonable? I don't think so.  Many of the people who are most strongly against foster parents' "demanding" requirements put forward arguments such as these: Well, I saw someone who said she wanted a PETPAGE application, with art, for a purple Peophin! That's too much. The way I see it, it's a simple case of realising that therein lies the fault. Naturally, we want applicants to think that "their" potential pet is special, but on the other hand, if you're someone who typically "evaluates" some Neopets as being in some way "better" than others, putting what is effectively a varying price on each type of pet based on nothing but its looks, then I'm sorry-- you're never going to have much audience with a foster parent. Anyone who sees pets as objects, even in such a subtle way, conflicts with everything that foster parents believe. Applications are NOT a "price" that has to be "paid" for a certain pet. They're a statement of love and good intentions, that doesn't guarantee the pet is yours, but allows you to show just how special both you, and the pet, are. Back to top If you agree with the things I've said on this page, you're free to borrow any of the stuff below, though of course I'd love it if people were to make more banners/buttons.  A smaller version of this banner:   Thanks to Vicky for this snazzy button!  Thanks zuthrox47cloudacara for these banners! You rock!   Mem Herself  Chosen Name: Mem Etana Archuleta Mental/Emotional Age: Approximately six years old Species: Usul Colour: Red Likes: Strawberry Milkshake, Faerie Petpets, bedtime stories, Usuki dolls and her sister and guardian Desi Archuleta. Dislikes: Taking medicine (especially Bubbling Healing Goo), lettuce, Petpets that bite, wearing her best shoes, Doctor Sloth, science class. Mostly nothing to do with me, so I'm not responsible for the content, good or bad. If you don't want me to link to your page, Neomail me post-haste and I'll take the button down.
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