So, if you're reading this, you've come to read my past. Don't expect a happy story for this part. If you want that, skip right over to "present". But what is happiness without sadness, anyway?
I was born to Leiora and Neptune. Neptune was killed shortly after birth in a fight with another lone wolf. That's right; that's the way my parents both lived, away from large packs. When Neptune died, the second mate to somehow leave my mother, she went crazy with grief and neglected to take care of me at all. I knew that I had to escape. I remembered my half-brother, Black Knight. He was there for a small period of time after my birth, before fleeing for reasons that were unknown to me at that time. Still very young, I tracked down my brother's scent at The Silver Crystal Wolf Pack. He had been adopted by the alphas, Shadow Spirit and Differ, and had four NEW siblings - April, Blue Flame, Star, and Angel. After a while, I asked Shadow Spirit to be adopted as well. She very kindly accepted, and today I know her as the only mother I have.
I later found out the truth of why Black Knight had left. Leiora was cold-hearted and violent, and Neptune was absolutely useless. Being so young, my mother had treated me with nothing but kindness until the death of my father. I was surprised, but decided not to dwell on it.
Later on, I began to change. I suddenly became restless and violent. I didn't understand it and became very withdrawn from my family and friends. One day I was complaining about my ugly black and brown fur and green eyes by the river. My older brother Blue Flame groaned in frustration and my older sister April kindly consoled me. I looked back at my reflection to complain some more - and was shocked to find that I completely transformed. My fur had turned an off-white shade and my eyes were blue... and I had white wings! I looked over to my brother and sister, who blinked back at me with wide eyes.
Later that night, I heard a poem. It was sung softly in another language, and I was rather surprised that I could understand it. It stated that though my blood was corrupt, my soul was still pure. I didn't understand this at the time, but felt strangely at peace.
I later came to understand that I was now what is called an Angelet. It's part of the Angea race, a race of wolves who were saved from hateful ways. I vaguely kept in touch with the "higher ups". I was to do the right thing in general, and to do the mission that I would be assigned at some unknown point in my life. I was looking forward to the mission, as it would lead to my becoming an Angelus - the next rank up. The mission would reflect the duty I would have when I became an Angelus.
Not too long after my transformation, my father, Differ, left along with my oldest sister, April. I was heartbroken, as was the rest of my family. We went on, however, without them. My mother appointed my most competent brother, Star, as the replacement alpha. Later on, my father returned, without April. I very reluctantly accepted him, as did Star. Blue Flame and Angel were more forgiving. He left again not too long afterwards. I decided to myself, "I will accept back April if she returned, but I will never accept back my father.
Later on, when I was just over a year old, my birth mother came to me. She said that she regretted neglecting me so early in life and hoped that I would take her as my mother again. I gently explained that I was now a daughter, a sister, and even an aunt in this pack. She seemed to understand that she would never be my mother, but she could still be a part of my life. I visited her every day for a month afterwards... until finally one day, out of no where, she attacked me in a fit of rage and jealousy. "After all of the time we've spent together, you still choose THEM over me!" As I was pinned to the ground, she explained in a fierce growl exactly why I was an Angea. We both had a certain demon trait that showed up very randomly. It wasn't fueled by rage or anything of the sort, and that was the worst part. It was unpredictable. This is why Black Knight had fled, as well as Black Knight's father. That's why the Angea saved people. They all had once been vicious and had found a way to save themselves, and decided to help others with this trait find their way. Leiora rejected it. My soul, without my consent, had readily accepted it. I was too strong to let something like that ever take me down.
Leiora left me with claw marks across the face with a warning that she would take down my entire family if I said anything. I kept quiet, not thinking straight. When my adoptive mother saw me, she forced out of me what had happened, and was understandably upset that I hadn't told her. "ONE wolf against an entire pack, Lilla!?"
I glared at her, and all of my stress and frustration broke loose. "Well, I'm SORRY! I deserve to die because I made a mistake! Is that what you want me to say?"
My mother looked at me for a moment before running away to think. I talked to her later, and apologized for lashing out. I told her that she was the only mother I would ever have, that I had only intended on being friends with Leiora.
About a week later, I smelled a large amount of Leiora's blood. I quickly ran to where she lay dying. "This is how we, who don't accept the gift of the Angea, end up... it's inevitable.
I shook my head. "No... no it's not," I said quietly.
Leiora laughed bitterly. "You can't heal me now, Lilla, you know that. I'm too far gone.
I nodded. "Yes. I know that." After a moment, I closed my eyes and gave my life to Leiora, whose soul so needed the second chance it had denied.
I woke up months later, in the middle of the forest. I ran around in a panic for a while. I didn't know who I was, or where I was. Then I calmed down for a moment and listened to the Angea that were all attempting to talk to me. They told me that this was where I was supposed to be. I looked into the river in front of me and saw a white wolf with lynx-like tufts on her ears, somewhat fox-like facial features, a purple marking that circled around her neck, purple and white wings, and purple markings on her tail. It was
me! Then suddenly everything came back to me, and I realized that I had accomplished my mission. I was an Angelus. The higher ups informed me that my duty as an Angelus was to save those who couldn't save themselves.
I caught up with my brother, who accepted that I was his sister and not a strange wolf claiming to be someone who was dead. It took a lot more convincing for my mother, however. She thought what any grief-stricken mother would think - I was someone else playing a cruel trick on her. I felt terrible, but was determined to prove that I WAS Lilla. About a month afterwards, I was finally accepted and welcomed back. I knew that it would happen... it was only a matter of time.
Not very long ago, my older sister April came back to us. I hadn't been quite so happy in a
long time. I dearly missed having such an older sister figure. She told me that our father was dead. I felt... absolutely devastated. I know what you're thinking: "But you just said that you wouldn't accept him back!" Well, I thought so too. But... all I felt was emptiness, sadness, and anger. I was angry at him for leaving. I was angry at myself for hating him. It was the most confusing combination of emotions I'd ever felt. I guess I didn't hate him after all. I guess I would've accepted him back eventually. Family forgives.
