Whether through virtue, contributions, force of personality or sheer longevity certain forum participants will rise to form an aristocracy. While it is generally taboo to openly acknowledge the class distinctions, the hierarchy is well understood by all. While for the most part the Royals rule with magnanimity, they will not tolerate impertinence from the hoi polloi. It is their habit to remain aloof from petty squabbles among their subjects, but when full-scale war breaks out their intervention can be decisive...Mike Reed

I realize that most on the HC will deny the existance of it's royals, but we have them. Of course we have them, ALL public forums have them. People seem to think being thought of as a royal is a bad thing and makes you look snobby, but it's not your fault that other listen to you ;)

It doesn't matter if one wishes to be a royal or not, it tends to just happen, and you're stuck with it...so I suggest you embrace your royalness and ignore those who find it repulsive b/c face it, most who are bothered are just upset they aren't royals themselves, no matter how much they try to make it seem like they just don't find forum hierarchy appealing. I can guarantee that if they were thought of as royalty, they'd be in hog heaven *wink*

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Big Dog is a bully who doesn't hesitate to use his superior strength to intimidate other combatants. Big Dog may be smart, articulate or just plain mean, but in any case he is a remorseless fighter, brutally ripping into even the weakest of combatants. Once Big Dog securely fastens his powerful jaws on a hapless victim, Me-Too will join the attack. Me-Too is far too weak and insecure to engage in single combat, and must ally himself with Big Dog or a pack of other Warriors to bring down his quarry...Mike Reed

We've so many of these types on the HC, but don't confuse them with the royals. Royals do not need anyone to join in when they're defending someone, they got it handled. Big Dogs & Me Toos don't defend, they bully. BIG TIME. They swarm all over their prey, toss verbal garbage at them and offer congratulations to each other while doing so. Being a big dog/me too combo, while good at verbal warfare, isn't a good thing.

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Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows. - Mike Reed

You know that expression "MEow", it applies here. Big cats don't play games and go straight to the point. They aren't those "brutally honest' people, they are who the brutally honest people wish they could be.

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Bliss Ninny doesn't understand why people just can't get along. While it is entirely unintentional, Bliss Ninny's utterly vacuous comments can drive the more pugnacious Warriors into a frenzy of aggression. Often in the heat of battle Bliss Ninny will discuss her cat...Mike Reed

We've all seen them on the HC, haven't we? In the middle of a rather heated debate, some person who's never posted before will come on and say something akin to "OMG, Stop fighting!!!" That's all they say at first, then their next post is "Soo...anyone see any good movies?" or something equally annoying as that.

I can't stand those people personally!

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Acne constantly whines about how, like... his/her life and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on their hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive...Mike Reed

Everyone say it with me "Wanna Chat?" Acne threads are often decimated by, Nanny, Big Dog & Me too. You'll often find these two words on Acne threads - Spam & Reported.

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Nanny tirelessly monitors forum discussions to make sure that everyone behaves. Though he is quick to admonish for off-topic messages and petty squabbling, he is generally slow to anger...Mike Reed

Bullies sometimes try to pretend they're nannies, but rarely fool anyone. Nannies are, for all intents and purposes, wannbe neopian moderators. The post the same thing over and over either quoting the rules or the editorials...they don't normally defer from this type of posting.

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Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female. When teased or attacked Crybaby will pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If that defense fails she will run to Nanny for comfort..Mike Reed

Why is everyone on the HC so mean?" Comes to mind when I think of this sort of person.

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Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the newest Orlando Bloom movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?- Mike Reed

We've quite a few blowhards on the HC. Think of those who say this "Well, I have ALL the paint brushes and ALL the morphing potions, I'm obviously superior to you who have nothing in your gallery, so when I tell you not to spam, you need to stop

Don't ya love 'em?

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A weak Warrior with few weapons at his disposal Compost flings expletives and vulgarities to keep his opponent at bay. This tactical maneuver can occasionally rout especially sensitive combatants, such as Cry Baby, but it is generally ineffective against more powerful Warriors. Nanny has little stomach for Compost's ordure and will quickly notify the proper authority of said forum...Mike Reed

Heh...this makes me think of those who call others n00bs and the like when they can't make a valid point. "Well, you're a n00b...so there!!" blah blah blah

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Net Sisters & Brothers are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females, with an occasional male tossed into the mix, who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Net Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others. Only the most powerful and battle-hardened of Warriors is strong enough to weather a Net Sisters attack...Mike Reed

OMG...we've SO many of them on the HC!! !Just a group of users who, if you dare comment towards them in a negative way, their friends who they chat w/on theme threads will flock to the thread and attack until their prey just tucks tail and runs.

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Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt exchanges between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. Not a particularly powerful Warrior, Evil Clown will attempt to avoid defeat by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humor...Mike Reed

I personally know a handful of this sort of flame warrior on the HC.

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Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing boxing gloves? Garble's rampant typos, malapropisms and execrable grammar can't be blamed solely on poor typing skills. Garble is all the more puzzling because if one manages to hack his way through the tangled muddle of his messages a discernable idea will often emerge. For example, in a forum discussion about a painting he might say, "Sorry the picchr the har is wrog. The culir. I liike the lips bot teh Paintng is sucs". When someone refers to his random capitalization Garble might say something like, "oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK". Garble drives Grammarian and Nitpick absolutely nuts, but he disdains all efforts at correction, and if complaints persist he will indignantly sign exit saying, "yuor forum si stupef. bYE!"...Mike Reed

Yeah, if you're an HCer or even a Reg, you totally know this sort of user

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Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.

If I had a penny for each of these we've seen on the HC, I'd be a very rich woman!

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For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego is one the the fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked...Mike Reed.

This sort goes hand and hand with Blow Hard and Big Dog & Me Too.

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Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards new forum arrivals as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. Xenophobe will mount a furious attack if a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions its prevailing opinions...Mike Reed

Oh man, these people are awful! As soon as a newbie posts something even slightly out of the norm, they get ripped to shreds by these users! Big Dog & Me too get along well w/them!

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Whisper maintains a benign demeanor and carefully avoids open conflict. When aroused, however, she will send vigorous attacks to sympathetic forum participants via private e mail in an attempt to sway the tide of battle. A typical Whisper maneuver is to "accidentally" post an ambiguously critical, but ostensibly private message to the discussion forum, e.g., "Dear Mary - see what I mean about this guy?" Or, "John - did you read what Bill said? I rest my case!" When challenged she will protest (disingenuously) that she hit the "reply" key by mistake, that the message was never intended to be read by forum participants, that the message was out of context, etc. Whisper's intent is to gain a tactical advantage by leaving the impression that her side in the conflict is gathering heavy forces just over the horizon, and though transparently obvious to veteran Warriors, this feint can often blunt a successful attack by less experienced fighters...Mike Reed

Very underhanded group of people, I've seen a handful of them on the HC a time or two..even been the subject of one's attack before. They think no one realizes what they're doing and try to be 'sneaky'. It doesn't work out how they want it to though, usually.

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Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in netspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth...Mike Reed

Hahaha, how many of you know jerks on the HC? I can think of 3 right off the top of my head! They tend to just attack for no reason, you can ask the most innocent of questions "Has turmy been up" and you'll get "OMG, what's wrong with you, you stupid n00b. If Turmy was up, there'd be 20 boards about already!!" Bleh :p

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Therapist can be a highly annoying and therefore very effective Warrior. Instead of making a frontal attack, Therapist attempts to shift the focus of the conflict to the combatants' psychological motivations and problems. He will freely speculate about other Warriors' insecurities, personalities and relationships, but he will almost never directly engage the subject of the dispute...Mike Reed

Think OMG You must have a sad home life to do this or You're parents must be so proud of you for being such an insecure person who comes to the HC to cause problems!

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Ferrous Cranus is utterly impervious to reason, persuasion and new ideas, and when engaged in battle he will not yield an inch in his position regardless of its hopelessness. Though his thrusts are decisively repulsed, his arguments crushed in every detail and his defenses demolished beyond repair he will remount the same attack again and again with only the slightest variation in tactics. Sometimes out of pure frustration Therapist will attempt to penetrate the psychological origins of his obduracy, but, ever unfathomable, Ferrous Cranus cannot be moved...Mike Reed

This applies to every person who absolutely insists that they are correct when they say that they found a Hidden Tower item in a random even, or those who say they lost 50k to the pant devil.

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Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle...Mike Reed

We've fake Androids on the HC...those of the "It's just the internet, it doesn't matter what I say, I can't hurt others or be hurt by my words" It's a load of baloney and they know it.

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Grammarian usually has little to contribute to a discussion and possesses few effective weapons. To compensate, he will point out minor errors in spelling and grammar. Because of Grammarian's obvious weakness most Warriors ignore him....Mike Reed

To me, these are the lowest of the low. They can't come up w/a good debate response and instead pick on spelling. It's laughable to me!

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Though Kung-Fu Masters are powerful Warriors, they generally choose not to fight. Many lesser Warriors delude themselves into thinking that they are masters of war, but few are the genuine article. The true Kung-Fu master fully appreciates his own superiority and is therefore unruffled by petty provocations. When forced to fight, however, he quickly crushes his opponent with devastating blows...Mike Reed

We all wish we could be this sort of flamer...few make it though, but when they do, they're automatically in the royal class as well.

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Palooka will battle anyone, anytime, anywhere - he seems to love it, even though he always takes a beating. After a terrific pounding at the hands of, for example, Kung-Fu Master, he'll just struggle to his feet and wobble back into the ring. His astonishing ability to absorb punishment leads one to suspect that during his long Warrior career Palooka has taken a few too many punches...Mike Reed

Takes a beating and keeps coming around for me. These sorts don't usually go to flame thread, but instead create their own by making title LIKE THIS SO THEY CAN GET NOTICED BY EVERYONE and then post something totally irrelivent to neopets just to get people to their thread...but, they have no idea that what they are doing is going to get them attacked and they just keep doing it. Gluttons for punishment who's heads are buried in the proverbial sand!

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For Coffee Klatch the discussion forum is a social gathering - like Mah Jong or Wednesday morning canasta club. Coffee Klatch prefers a friendly, chatty environment and almost always limits her participation to non-technical forums. Whether inadvertently or by design, Coffee Klatch prepares the battlefield in her favor by making it soggy with pleasant, but vapid messages - her favorite phrase often being, "thanks for sharing". This renders the battlefield rather slow going for swifter and more powerful Warriors. CAUTION: If war does break out she will shed her benign facade and attack mired Warriors without remorse...Mike Reed

This pretty much fits ANY theme chat group whether it be Restockers, Gamers, Labber....doesn't matter. They just want to chat w/friends and if bothered, they'll throw down w/the best of them!

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Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters...Mike Reed.

Unfortunately, HCers THRIVE on troll threads. They LOVE when trolls post b/c they get to tell them off and seem witty...but tend to fail and actually just lower themselves to the trolls level

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Unsteady in his knowledge of computers and cyberculture Newbie perambulates the internet, blithely stumbling his way into discussion forums. He seldom reads the FAQs and is utterly clueless about the basics of netiquette. When engaged in battle Newbie's usual tactical gambit is to feign helplessness, often going limp or crying when cornered. While Newbie doesn't seek conflict he will lash out comically when his feelings are hurt. Most Warriors will either ignore Newbie or treat him with mild disdain, but a few, such as Jerk and Evil Clown, take special pleasure in torturing him. Others, especially Xenophobe, have a particular animus against Newbie and view his bumbling as an affront that must be punished...Mike Reed

I tend to feel bad for most newbies; they get attacked so badly, just b/c they're new. However, I realize that many aren't exactly new and are actually Trollers or Enfant Provocateur and are just trying to stir up trouble. So...newbies will get attacked, no matter what.

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