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My mama was Kalli. My papa was Tiy. Looking at them, you'd of thought them to be the perfect couple. Maybe, once upon a time, they were. I was born on a warm morning come early September. I was my parents' muchly desired little girl. I had an older brother, Kai- their firstborn, a hot-headed teenager who had just left home. That's why they had had me- their little boy wasn't their to fuss over anymore. They were lonley. Kai... He was a bit spoiled, I think. He hated me. I was too young to care. "He's just jealous right now," Mama would tell me softly when I'd ask why my brother looked at me with such hatred in his eyes. "He's used to being an only child. He'll adjust, baby. He'll adjust. You'll see." So with child-like uncaring we all come to miss as we grow older, I brushed it off. For the start of my life, everything was amazing. Beautiful. I loved to watch the sun set every day with my mother - it was our bonding time, I guess. Daddy always used to say I did take after Mama. The love for sunsets, for one thing. To him, I was so pretty, so delicate. So darling and dear. I was his baby girl, his princess. He doted on me, and I adored him. I was daddy's little girl. Daddy could do no wrong. Mama and Daddy were always there... Except a brief time, a time when Daddy wasn't there. Nor was any of Daddy's relatives. My mother was panicked, I remember. I kept hearing the word "dead" and the phrase "mysterious illness." But Daddy came back, soon. Somehow, he defied death, and he came back to his girls. But Mama seemed so distant. Skittish. Afraid. I think it made Daddy upset... One day, Daddy wasn't there anymore. One day, Mama didn't want to go watch the sun set. She didn't want to move from the den- she wanted to stay there, still and quiet. She'd tell me to go off and play, she just needed to be alone for a little while. "Where's Daddy?" I'd ask every time. She'd just smile at me sadly, shake her head, and tell me, "He's just gone away for awhile, Baby. Don't worry your pretty little head." So I didn't. I'd go off to play, oblivious to the tears that fell from Mama's eyes when I wasn't looking. But like all mothers, mine wanted to protect me. She didn't want me to feel pain. Around then was when Smuck entered my life. Quite the kid, he was... a total mutt. Definitely didn't earn my approval. From the start, we were bantering- he was, as I said, a mutt, and of course, I was prissy. He drove me insane, what can I say? I'd never really socialized much, and what with everything going on, perhaps I wasn't in the best of moods. After that encounter, I didn't really think I'd be seeing him again anyway. Why would I, the way we got along? After awhile, Mama started letting me go with her some days. I liked those days. It was less lonely. I met some of her 'friends.' Some brushed me off without a care. Some were sort of nice to me. I never really understood it. Mama would act so different around them. Laughing, smiling. Flirting. The first time Mama stopped going out so much, I was confused. When I finally got up the nerve to ask why she wasn't going out anymore, she gave me a distant smile. "You're gonna be a sister, sweetie," she told me simply. I didn't understand, of course, but sure enough, next thing I knew, there was Kile. My brother. "Half-brother," Mama corrected me the first time. "What's that mean?" I'd asked her, confused. "It means you only share on parent." I started to understand then. Mama understood she'd made a mistake then. Her eyes widened, and she averted her gaze. She knew then, that I knew. If Kile was my Mama's, he wasn't my Daddy's. Daddy wasn't coming home. I couldn't go out with Mama often after that. "You have to be a good big sister and watch Kile for me, okay, Darling?" Kile had been good enough. He wasn't hard to keep an eye on, even though I was still young myself. Still, Mama would let me go, sometimes. There was one time she took me to see my gramma, Aleu, and my niece, Trea. Trea was younger by me than just two days, and we didn't get along at all. That day, we ran into others- three others. Gramma's friend Fire, his son a bit older than me and Trea, Devin, and Fire's brother my mama's age, Daemyn. That day, Mama was a bit distant. She got like that sometimes still. Those days were rare, though. Those were the days she missed Daddy. When Mama stopped going out again shortly after, I didn't even have to ask. I just knew. So when little baby Kieve was born, I wasn't surprised. What I was surprised by, though, was when Daemyn began coming around to see Kieve. Of course, I asked Mama. "He's Kieve's father," was her blunt reply as she watched them play with warm eyes. I watched them after that. The way Daemyn watched her when she wasn't looking. The way my mother shied away from him uncertainly. Next time Mama took me out, just the two of us, she didn't seem too happy. She hadn't lately. Frustrated, I think. But that day, I met Darc. Mama didn't seem to like him much, but I did. He and I, I guess we clicked. He reminded me of Daddy, and oh, I missed Daddy so. I was quite fond of Darc. I didn't see why Mama wasn't. Eventually, she loosened up some, I think, but she always seemed to be edgy and upset around him. For the third time, Mama stopped going out. This time, I was irritated. Kile I had been able to manage. Kile and Kieve I just barely managed. Kieve was too out of control for me even on his own. But what could I do? Mama kept telling me how helpful I was being, how much she appreciated me. Each time, her eyes were so distant, but I savored it still. I wanted Mama to be happy... I wanted my old Mama back. So when, this time, I had a little sister, I was a good girl and didn't complain. I was kind of glad to have a sister, finally. She didn't seem fond of me, sure, but I still loved her. And when I noticed the rose marking on her side, the same that Darc had, I smiled. I knew. If they had a daughter now, they had to care about each other at least a little bit... right? Maybe so, too. I'm not sure, to this day. Darc cared for my Mama, I could see that. And oh, how I wished Mama could care as much for him, too. But her taste ran more bad boy at the time, I guess. 'Cause suddenly, he was there. Hou. When Mama met him, she didn't come home for a long few days. When she did finally come home, she seemed different. Not in a good way, either. I hated it. I kept away from her... most of the time. Gramma Aleu visited, though, and when she did, Mama sent me away. I didn't know why, and I wanted to know. So I was sneaky. I hid nearby. That's how I found out. About Daddy, that is. That Daddy hadn't just left... No, Daddy had had an affair. Before he left Mama. Before I was born. And Daddy had a child. A little girl. A little girl all cute and pink, who had sought him out and got him back with his mistress... but officially, this time. This half-sister, no, this thing, 'Kaku,' had made my parent's separation final. Yeah, Daddy left before Kaku had found him, gotten him back together with his mistress. But it just finalized everything... Especially one thing. I really wasn't Daddy's little princess. Under the pressure of everything - Daddy's betrayal, Mama's flings, having to watch my brothers and sister - I cracked. I ran away. Actually, I ran into Smuck. Surprisingly, there was very little banter between us now. I can't say it's because we were more mature, not really, not in that way... if anything, it was because we both had more of a sense of brokenness. We drew comfort from each other silently- or at least, I drew comfort from him. In any case, we ran away. Quite odd, I know. Who would've thought he'd reappear in my life? Let alone be willing to run off with me, the oh-so-prissy one, of all people. Maybe he was just desperate to get away... and maybe he didn't want to go alone. Either way, I didn't think twice about it. Even more surprisingly was that we became closer than anticipated. Naturally, a friendship formed between us. I figured it would, sooner or later. I just never would've thought it would become anything more than that... but it did, gradually. I've heard that love sparks suddenly, like fireworks. Well, not for me. It was there awhile, and it took me some time to really notice it. Sometimes love comes softly. As you can likely assume, the feeling became mutual. How, when, why, I don't know. Maybe he was just downright crazy. Not that I'm complaining or anything, of course. At some point, my father had passed away and then came back... and eventually convinced my mother to get back with him after finding heaven-sent 'what would have been' twins Rhais and Stas, my sisters. Over time, I managed to forgive him, too though often, the pain was still present. Of course, dad didn't approve of Smuck at first. To him, Smuck was as I first saw him: 'a mutt.' And further, 'no good.' But, daddy wanted me to be happy, and he saw that Smuck made me happy. So with the warning to Smuck of my dad treating me well and reminding him he had friends in small places, he gave us his blessing. Not that it really mattered, I'm sorry to say. Love has no limits. And before long, we started a family. I gave birth to twins- a boy resembling Smuck, Happax, and a girl resembling me, Laisiri. Apa and Siri. The two of them instantly captured my heart. Along with their father, they were everything to me. As always, time passed. Drama within Smuck's family ensued, things that often kept him from being with the family. He was frequently away, much to my dismay. But he was doing what he had to do, and I respected that as best as I could. Still, you can't blame me for wishing it would be different. I thought it'd get better, though. It didn't. However, we adopted a daughter. Well, Smuck did. At least, it's because of him we did? Oh, whatever, it's not that important to be so precise. Bottom like is, Smuck brought home Luchiahna, and I welcomed her into the home. And then came the triplets. They were quite the surprise to me, each one incredibly unique... and, to my amusement, two sported colors near-identical to those my father had in his past. Those two were the younger girls- maroon and cream Cindehr and lavender and cream Smiuh. Cin was exceedingly hyper, whilst Smiuh was her counterpart, quiet and shy much like I had been when I was young. Oh, did you catch on about her name? A sweet mix of my and Smuck's names. Ah, let's not forget the eldest of the three, though! Smuck Jr., looking much like his father - and thereby Apa - and ironically taking after him in personality too. Obviously, I had my hands full. Smuck's absences, however, maintained, thanks tohis family drama. I should probably make myself a bit more clear, shouldn't I? Well, it appears that Smuck's mother frequently had affairs with someone not Smuck's- ... well. No. Let me start over. His mother had affairs with someone not her mate, the guy Smuck called 'father.' As it happens, the affair guy was actually Smuck's father. Oh, and guess what- he had a twin sister, raised by Smuck's father. I guess it's ironic that I, a victim of having a father whom had affairs, wound up unknowingly with a guy born from an affair. Quite twisted, isn't it? It doesn't make me love him any less, trust me. The thing is, Smuck's twin sister, Curio, stirred up quite the dramas, though intentionally. Back when the twins had been young, she'd lead him off on a search for their father. Guess they found him- eventually. I honestly wish they hadn't... Selfish of me, perhaps, but I can't help it. What followed was enough to kill me, not that many - if any - saw that. As it turns out, Smuck's father was a pirate, of all things. Smuck got dragged into that life, too. So, no. The drama didn't cease when he finally found his father. Instead, he was away from home just as much as he had been before, if not more. Oh, how I hated it. I hated his twin. I hated his father. I hated the whole lot of his family for taking him away from me. I was downright lonely. The kids offered comfort to me, sure, but they were growing, and they had their own lives to live. I didn't want to weigh them down or burden them. Of course, my dad chose then to leave my mother... by giving up his life to be up with his 'one true love.' You guessed it: his mistress. I was pretty distraught. I was always raging with emotions- fury, hate, bitterness, depression, loneliness, hopelessness, hurt, and then I'd reach a point of emotionless. I started to doubt life, a petty thing to do, considering I've been so lucky compared to some... At least, you know, until, months later, my mother got sick. The sickness hit her really hard. Harder than it would have if the mate she'd found - my step-father I guess - hadn't left her for his ex. In the end, it got the best of me. Life everyone else in my life, my mother was taken from me. Gone. She left behind my young twins, my grown siblings... and she left behind me. When I so needed her. That was pretty recent, and I'm still reeling with it and trying to cope. Rumor is Smuck's turned his back on the piracy. Well, maybe not a rumor, since it's from his own mouth. I just... I wouldn't hold my breath. It's wrong of me to be so doubtful and skeptical of my own lover, but... After everything that's happened during our relationship... ...Well. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a force in the world trying purposely to keep us apart. I just... don't know anymore... I'll believe it when I see it. |
 My mother, Kalli, is pretty much my hero and role model. During my childhood, she definitely had her flaws, I admit, but considering what my father was putting her through back then, I can't completely blame her. The thing is, my mother's a survivor. She's stronger than I'd ever manage to be. While she can't regret my childhood - it did result in four half-siblings she loves dearly - she regrets hurting me with the way she was, neglectful and always laying her responsibilities on me. But that's okay. I don't regret running away with Smuck. He became the love of my life, after all. Regardless of everything, I know my mother loved me. Still does, even though she's got a new love and kids now. I'm not particularly settled with the thought of her having moved on with her life, but I can definitely see why she has. She had every right to. It just seems strange to me still. It makes me a bit distanced from her. It's way too awkward for me. Still, I'm glad she's happy, if anything. She definitely deserves it after everything. She'll always be my hero.
 It's hard for me to think of anything to say about Tiy, my so-called father. At least, anything good. He hurt my family. Twice. In between it all, he lied. Maybe he was guilty, and that's what made him come back, but it's not right still. His heart was never really with us. It was with his petty mistress. It hurts still, knowing I was never truly his little girl, his little princess. It really was all a lie. There was a time when I loved him so. Two times of such, I guess, since he lied his way back into my family's lives. He had us all fooled. Who would've suspected him of not really caring about us when he had children with my mother a few more times, huh? It's harsh, perhaps, but you know what? He deserves what I'm going to say, deserves every word of it, not that he'd care: I'm glad he's dead, even if he did choose death willingly to be with his mistress. Whatever, who cares, right? We're better off without him.
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