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A few errors fixed. More updates pending
The following is a basic look at behavioral patterns of the HC by using the Transactional Theory. Comments and
such are much appreciated but please keep any simple cross country spelling differences in mind. I am an Australian, but I do try to make the spelling American to keep it simple. Ideas, suggestions or comments should be
sent to michellesteward
Disclaimer: The Transactional Theory used within this page is a well known theory by psychiatrist Eric
Berne. In no way do I claim to have written it, nor have I gone into great detail looking at it. Some
of you may come across the theory in an Australian version of an English Language text book under the
heading of 'Thinking and Reasoning.'
When looking around the HC, many of you may tend to find and recognize different behavioral
patterns emerging. Most put this to the back of their mind thinking it relies on age, maturity,
upbringing and, for some reason, many refer this to a person's apparent social life. But applying
a simple theory to the patterns can give a greater insight and with this insight will come
knowledge of how to handle situations involving said people. Hopefully this page will not only give
you an insight to what happens on the HC, but the way 'regulars' should attempt to act when
helping others. Yes, even when helping others there is a right and wrong way to act.
The Transactional Analysis theory was developed in the late 1950's by psychiatrist Eric Berne.
He discovered three states of ego in each person, each of these shaped from childhood experience.
Depending on the interaction between each person, the ego state may change at home to what it
is at work, school, social life or in this case the HC.
He also stated that serious problems with the Ego States is a sign of mental illness. As this is
not what we are looking at, especially since we do not want to accuse anyone of being mentally ill, the ego states are the only parts of the theory needed.
The most important concept within the Transactional Theory is identifying the three ego states; Child,
Parent and Adult. Each person is said to have all three and, in theory, they should balance. A different state
may be dominant in different situations, but a healthy mix is said to have the best effect. Too much of the child
or parent state may frustrate those around the person.
The child ego is a state which developed as a result of the person's feeling about the world when they
were about three years of age. Different circumstances in these feelings create different reactions when the
child ego is dominant.
Example of a Child Ego: A person is in trouble from their boss at work. They look down, feel ashamed, have feelings
of anger or revert to another feeling like the one felt when getting told off by a parent or adult
as a child.
The parent ego is generally said to be what a person has learnt from their father, mother or other adult figure. These
are a collection of both images and information stored in the brain in the first few years of life.
Example of a Parent Ego: Mimicking how their parents or parental figures acted in certain situations. A person may
shout in frustration as they have learnt from an influential figure during childhood that this is a
method that works.
The adult ego is displayed when a person uses their own life experience and knowledge to behave, feel, think and respond
to what is being said in a critical yet 'mature' or constructive manor.
Example of an Adult Ego: A person uses knowledge and experience to answer a question about a certain topic. They respond
to others around them by accepting what they are saying and the differences between their experiences. They then think about the
average between their experience and new knowledge and continue to answer with this, weighing up the situation appropriately.
Note: Even though a person has not reached 'parental' or 'adult' stages in life, they still are said to contain
these egos. The egos are named after the resemblance of the expectations society has of a person at these stages of
life and do not actually mean a person is at that age. Remember, each person has all three states, with each
situation allowing a different state to affect their reaction.
A quick look around the Help Chat will allow you to see these ego states in practice. Please note: it is hard to find an example/s of the parent ego as I do not know a person's background or influential figures. If you have a problem or disagree with the ego I have labeled a post as, neomail michellesteward with what you consider the post and why. I may have made a mistake. The examples are not here to call someone mature/ immature. The ego is merely dominant in the situation the person is currently in when captured for this page.
Example 1.
Example 2.
A Look Within a Board
The Child Ego in Action
Example 1.
Example 2.
Example 3.
The user above no longer uses a click avatar and this font. She now uses a pwnful avatar. Jess also wishes to advise everyone that there is another ego evident with this post. The 'Michelle' ego tends to make other people look silly and should be watched out for.
The Parent Ego in Action
The Adult Ego in Action
The help chat is also known for its pack behavior. This occurs when a group of users gang up against one user. In serious cases, this occurs over several days and the users are all friends who will defend each other whether they are in the right or not. In simple cases, this could occur on any normal board where the user states something which is known to be false. A group of users will then gang up and harass said user, repeating they are wrong. Remember, if it's already been said, allow the user time to comprehend this and ignore the statement before saying it again.
Although I'm sure this is going to earn me some hate mail, I have decided to put up this screenie of the pack behavior. The group in question also seems to believe changing the name to a slightly different name will stop the person from being able to report them for harrassment. For anyone who thinks this, please be warned that if people can still work out who the user is after you change the name to an obvious one, leaving names in screenies or leaving signatures with names of pets or the users name, it is still against the rules. Referring to the person as 'her' and saying you 'could' be talking about someone else with a similar name doesn't cut it, either, if there is intention and it is blatantly obvious you're not. Anyway, here is that screenie I promised.
It is said that the best scenario is to have all egos equally balanced. Therefore, it is not a bad thing to allow your child ego to be dominant at some stage. A dominant ego becomes bad if it is used within the wrong form of situation. Being silly is fine, in the right scenario. But acting serious and allowing your adult ego to shine is also needed. On the HC, a good mixture of an adult ego (for answering questions) and a child ego (when making jokes which are /not/ offensive or targeted to put another user down) is also needed. Being too serious or too silly is generally frowned upon.
If you encounter someone acting the wrong way in a certain situation, tell them calmly and kindly. If they do not listen, repeat it once more and leave, or leave directly. If you are in the middle of helping or explaining something, finish up and leave. Ignore the user instead of starting an argument.
The Transactional Theory can be used to evaluate the basis of people on the Help Chat. Hopefully this page has explained the theory and how to notice it. I also hope that you can at least take one thing away from this page, whether it is an insight into the behavior of those on the HC, the theory itself or ideas on how to handle yourself in some situations.
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