Poetry
Fireplace
I never knew I could feel like this
Drowning again in the hurt of it all
A warm night, but it feels so cold
Winter, December, lost in the rain
I come home crying, sure I've lost it all
This day has changed my orbit of life
Not sure I could make it through another fall
Cold floorboards, white ice, on which I lie
I let myself wander through the empty house
A hound to my left; wings to my right
Alone with those who don't care, don't know
Sink by the fireplace and pray
Hear the echoes of the past in the flames
Forget, move on, find the comfort in this
Feel the warm arms of the fire
I find my place by the fireplace
Explanation: I wrote this poem from memories of a single terrible day in my life. If I could only come home, bask in the flames with my dog and bird for company, I knew everything would be all right. It really wasn't, on that occasion, but it faded with the strength of comfort.
Afraid
Standing on an empty stage
I look out on the hall
See nothing at all
I think, why should I be afraid?
There's no need to feel or fear a day
No way to sleep through the pain
Take the lies as they come
No need to be afraid
Take the needle through my heart
Let it break my world apart
I have no reason to love anymore
No reason to fear the rest of the story
No need to be afraid
Explanation: This poem is basically about being broken enough that you're not scared anymore, because nothing else matters to you anymore. There isn't any point.
Inside the Lines
When I could stay
Inside the lines
I could belong
In this place and time
And tell me tonight that you can't know
Everywhere I fell out
If life were inside the lines
Drawn by our own broken hearts
Don't want to fall, fall again
Only going through the motions, falling within
We wouldn't live in a rising storm
If life were inside the lines
Watch from afar
Your voice is like an echo
Lost you again
The only one I've ever loved
You're slipping away, and I can't breathe
I can't breathe fire or water
Falling down
Tripping up and caught in the headlights for it
Why can't this just all go away?
Explanation: So, this is actually a song. XD (I write songs & piano music sometimes.) This is just me wishing for life to be simpler; no surprises means no real pain.
Crossroads
I'm comfortable against the wind
Carry me toward where it wants to take me
Carry me onto the road less traveled
Set me down, set me down on the edge of it all
I'll escape
When I find a crossroad
That's not broken and wild and frayed
I'll be waiting for a good one
Don't want to leave one stop too early
Looking past my fears
Blinking back my tears
Still searching for the crossroad
I know I'll fall more than twice
All my life I've been anything but wise
I get back up and keep at my journey
Help me, help me, help me write my happy ending
There's no way
Will I find a crossroad
That's not broken and wild and frayed
I'll be waiting for a good one
Don't want to leave one stop too early
Looking past my fears
Blinking back my tears
Still searching for the crossroad
I almost break down
Keep crying, hurting, hating
Why am I alone?
Alone
I have to find a crossroad
That leads far away
Leave the ones like you behind
Kick the dust into your eyes
Not too long
This ain't for long
Up ahead is our crossroad
Explanation: This is a song as well. It has the same meaning as
Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. This world isn't the right place for me; I want to go somewhere else, and I'm willing to wait for it.
Wrapped Around Her Finger
Yeah, she's beautiful
But what's that to you?
Is she something better than what you have right here?
Tell me, what do you look for in Miss Perfect?
Don't tell me it's everything she is
Don't tell me you're wrapped around her finger
She's only faking everything for you
Come on, lover
You can see through her guise
Come on, lover
You know I can do better than that
Look, she's coming now
What are you going to say?
Would you really leave me for someone like her?
Tell me, how come you're falling for a girl like that?
She's told me, she's told them, it's all a joke on you
Hey, don't tell me you're wrapped around her finger
She's only faking everything for you
Come on, lover
You can see through her guise
Come on, lover
You know I can do better than that
I don't mind
A boy ain't what's keeping me on the ground
I don't mind
You can chase her if you like
But when she leaves you for another
Don't you be thinking that
I could have done better
It was you wrapped around her finger
I know that you're wrapped around her finger
She's only faking everything for you
Come on, lover
You can see through her guise
Come on, lover
You know I can do better than that
You know you can do better than her
Explanation: An I-love-you-but-you-love-her situation. (This one isn't about me.)
Only a Dream
Please whisper my name
Because if you scream
I might wake up
Wake up from this dream
The dream where you love me
Cause you don't
I know this is only a dream
I know it 'cause I've felt this way before
I open my eyes inside my sleep
Trying to get a look at you, baby
And then I wake up
It's only a dream
I don't even sleep
How could I risk
Having a dream
A dream about you?
And mistake that you love me?
We know you don't
I know this is only a dream
I know it 'cause I've felt this way before
I open my eyes inside my sleep
Trying to get a look at you, baby
And then I wake up
It's only a dream
I'm finally falling again
And I'm seeing angels instead of you
They make me feel like I'm at home inside my own mind
And when I wake they stay with me
Keeping thoughts of you away
I know that you're only a dream
I know it 'cause I've felt this way before
I open my eyes inside my sleep
Trying to get a look at you, baby
And then I wake up
It's only a dream
Explanation: Okay, I've dreamed about him before, only to wake up and remember. So I wrote a poem about it.
Father's Flag
She was crying on her doorstep
One hand on his lap and the other in a fist
She said, "Why are they all leaving me?"
And she looked back and saw it again
Saw the military band
Saw a crumpled up photograph of them
The only thing she had left
And he said, "Your daddy's inside everything this country is
And your mama's watching from heaven
They're always gonna be with you
Watching where you go, what you're doing...
And every time you look up the silver flagpole
That's your father's flag
But she still couldn't stop the tears
Said, "How can you be ever so sure?
And she felt like she was breaking inside herself
She closed her eyes and saw it all
Saw her father falling down
And saw her mother running to him
Love was something they never lost
Something she had to keep on
And she knew, "My daddy's inside everything this country is
And my mama's watching from heaven
They're always gonna be with us
Watching where we go, what we're doing...
And every time I look up the silver flagpole
That's my father's flag
Because this is worth it
Loyalty, loyalty, through and through
My daddy did it for the country
My mama did it for my dad
And I'll live
They gave it all for me
They gave it all for us
And she knew, "My daddy's inside everything this country is
And my mama's watching from heaven
They're always gonna be with us
Watching where we go, what we're doing...
And every time I look up the silver flagpole
That's this country's flag
Explanation: I wrote this poem for a friend who lost both her military parents overseas. She didn't live with them, but she loved them both.
Liar
You told me you loved me
You told me how much you cared
You told me everything you thought I would believe
But you are a liar
Your whispers slipping right into my heart
You are a liar
Bet you thought your tricks would break me down
It's too late to spin another
Web of sticky, venomous tales
Because you are a liar
You told me you'd never leave
You held me, you hugged me
You let me think I was the only one
But you are a liar
Your whispers slipping right into my heart
You are a liar
Bet you thought your tricks would break me down
It's too late to feed to me
One more lie to cover the rest
I know you are a liar
I heard you promise me
You'd never walk away like the so many others
I was there when I heard you say
You love me
I do think you meant it when you said
You loved me
But not anymore
Now you are a liar
Your whispers slipping right into my heart
You are a liar
Bet you thought your tricks would break me down
It's too late to apologize
I can just imagine you lying to her
We're both worth more than this
You are a liar
Explanation: He said he loved you; you believed him. How often does this happen? It's probably going to happen to me at one point...
Three Words
If one day you wake up
You have nothing left but the two of us
Would you trust me when I told you three words
Would they be deep enough for you and your heart?
At the end of the worst day of your life
If I held you close and told you three words
Would you be holding back a smile, for the first time
Or would you not believe a word I said?
If I told you three words
After we talked about our first glance
Would you trust me to take you through this life
Or would you think it was all just a show?
It's true to be careful
Don't love until the other does
Test every corner of this thing
Until you call it home
Can't you trust me
To tell you three words
Tell you three words
And mean them?
Because I love you
Explanation: If I find a man in life when I'm all right, but I start breaking, would he stay?
Fallen
She was an angel on the ground
He was a wave in the sea
They both crashed to the earth
Crashed so close
They softened each other's blows
They felt something, I know
Now they're doubting, and I hope they're wrong
I hope they learn that they belong
And they're both fallen
Fallen to the earth
They're both broken
As broken as I can be
But they're both lovely
Lovely as
A flower in a field, a lily on a lake
But fallen together
She stands singing a song without a sound
He is broken, with no one left
He hears her music clearly in his ears
It brings comfort, but also sorrow and tears
Her song softens his fall
She arises at his call
They find a way out
Away, away
Away and fallen, away but together
Explanation: Two outcasts, alone but together
Lover All Alone
I could not survive
Knowing you were not with me
Watching from afar
Everything I am
I live in this life for you
Don't tell me I lie
All that I pretend
I mean no harm through my words
Do you not regret?
I see you through this
But I can't go far enough
I'm invisible
You don't notice me
Or you feel me like a bug
I know when to stop
Can't make you love me
Can't make you love if you don't
I know it would end
Living in this lie
I tell myself you love me
Faith and hope are weak
Again, this old crush
Will only leave me as a
Lover all alone
Explanation: A series of quite awkward haikus. xD
How Can I Know
How can I know what you mean;
When you look away
---(But I saw you looking my way)
(it's two times now)
How can I know what you see;
When you look at me
---(And who do you think I am?)
How can I know what you think of me;
Because we truly do not speak
---(When you turn away, I burn)
How can I believe that you care;
When all I have are the little signs
---(Signs that do seem mistaken)
How can I come forward;
You will think me crooked, perhaps
---(But I want to know)
What do your glances mean?
Explanation: So, he does look at me, but I want to be able to read his glances. What is he thinking...?
Falcon
(He will fly someday) ----- /higher the he now soars
----- (I cry now, not knowing if he'll wait for me)
For he's a falcon, and can fly as high and bright
And he's a flier, and no one stops and hovers in midair
It'll take another hawk or eagle; a second pair of wings
For this raptor to slow down for her -- me
(He is a true falcon) ----- /fighter and proud
----- (I know that he cares, though enough to wait?)
Haven't seen the guy for a few days
And I shake my head, wonder where he's flown off to
I hear him play the violin and writing and studying
Boy, you are going far, far in this life
And why did I fall for you
Falcon
Explanation: So, in case this isn't obvious, I wrote this poem about the same guy as How Can I Know. :)
Forgotten
Forgotten lie the memories
Of all the things between us
Forgotten lies the love
Swept away by the wind
Forgotten lie the old promises
Between you and I
That neither would leave
And neither would lie
They're forgotten because you broke them
I could feel your love wavering
I could feel your fear rising
Would I leave you first
Before you made sure
I wasn't your perfect trophy?
You know I knew the truth
So why didn't you move?
I thought you knew me
But I also thought you cared for me
I guess I was wrong
Forgotten lies the friendship
Binding us together
Forgotten lurks the hate
Ready to emerge
Forgotten lie the wishes and dreams
We loved each other for
But then again
Forgotten lies the love
Explanation: This is basically about a love burning out... It happens...
Magical
I lean on his arm
Laughing as he tells a joke
He adds on how much he loves her
When I ask who he means
He changes the subject
But boy, my lover, my only
You're as magical as a fairy tale
And boy, I hope you know, I hope you know
That I'm never going to let you go from my mind
You might go on your own path in life
But stay magical for the one you find
We play video games
We're outside during the year's last snow
He tells me I'm such a good friend
He don't mean any more than that
He still loves her
But boy, my lover, my only
You're as magical as a fairy tale
And boy, I hope you know, I hope you know
That I'm never going to let you go from my mind
You might go on your own path in life
But stay magical for the one you find
Why?
I guess I'm not the one for you
My brother
But I'll still cry for you when you move away
Boy, please be safe
And live however you're happy
Ha, and call me up for a tennis match anytime
Boy, my lover, my only
You're as magical as a fairy tale
And boy, I hope you know, I hope you know
That I'm never going to let you go from my mind
You might go on your own path in life
But stay magical for the one you find
Stay magical for me
Explanation: A little like Taylor Swift's Teardrops On My Guitar, except this girl is willing to accept the fact that he doesn't like her.
I Wish
I wish I had cherished every memory
I wish I had taken my camera to every meeting
I wish I had asked you for your autograph
I wish I had called you up much more than I did
It's only when you're gone
That I start thinking that I'd miss you so
It's only when you're gone
That I lose half of the tunnel that was my heart
And it's only when you're gone
That I realize I did love you more
Than I thought I did, yeah
I wish I had be brave enough to hug you
I wish I had reached for your hand that one cold night
I wish I had kept more of you with me
I wish I could tell you now
It's only when you're gone
That I start thinking that I'd miss you so
It's only when you're gone
That I lose half of the tunnel that was my heart
And it's only when you're gone
That I realize I did love you more
Than I thought I did, yeah
And now I'm crying
All alone
Without you there to hold me
Why'd you have to go?
You knew I loved you
But you didn't know how much
It's only when you're gone
That I start thinking that I'd miss you so
It's only when you're gone
That I lose half of the tunnel that was my heart
And it's only when you're gone
That I realize I loved you enough to kill me now
Explanation: About some friends during 8th grade graduation...
How Could I
I hear your voice as I watch from afar
It's only an echo, but it's still so clear
And it's one of the so many things about you that I love
How could I?
Because it's obvious
Clear to me
You want nothing to do with me
Yeah, you pretend
Pretend to care
But I also see through water
That's how badly you did
I'm still taken by how beautiful you look
You don't know how shameful that is to me
It's like I love you and actually, actually care for your life, baby
How could I?
Because it's obvious
Clear to me
You want nothing to do with me
Yeah, you pretend
Pretend to care
Stop your pretending, baby
It's better for us both
Why do I see you so much?
Why can't you disappear from my life?
How could I let you
Let you do these things to me?
Oh, how could I love you?
Everything is falling apart
How could I?
Because it's obvious
Clear to me
You want nothing to do with me
Yeah, you pretend
Pretend to care
Stop your faking, baby
Explanation: Another generic you-don't-love-me song.
One Heart
Seems like you've got two minds
But you've only got one heart
Sometimes you have it
And sometimes you don't
But it seems either way
You don't care for me
Either way
You don't mind to lose me
Inside your one heart
Is a maze of empty
And it's all but a ghost
Sometimes there and sometimes it's
Replaced by a cold metal fist
Nothing else I could feel
Would be as cold as you can be
Sometimes you'll hold me close
Sometimes you'll kill me
Either way, now
I'm losing my hold
All the things you say
How you knock me down
I'm climbing up high
Then you make me fall
How do I know you mean anything you say?
Any smile I see is as cold as I know you
I might just be losing control
I need to get out of this town tonight, but there's no one here to run with
Inside your one heart
Is a maze of empty
And it's all but a ghost
Sometimes there and sometimes it's
Replaced by a cold metal fist
Nothing else I could feel
Would be as cold as you can be
And nobody here knows me
Not the soul I want to be
I see you dying
Why do you have to take me, too?
My heart should never be as cold as you
Explanation: I wrote this about a pretty bipolar person I know... Sometimes she's smiling and laughing, sometimes she's loud and abusive.
One Day
One day
I'm going to find a way back
One day
I'm going to tell you three words; no, I'll never mean them
One day
I'll ask you if you noticed me at all, baby
But right now
I wouldn't come back to save your life
Right now
I wouldn't turn an ear to your best friend
Right now
I know that I'll be crazy to care about you again
But maybe one day
I'll try
It ain't like
You didn't see it coming
And don't say
That you didn't have a clue-- well, I'd never believe it
Oh, baby
Why'd you have to make me feel this way?
Make me feel right now
I wouldn't come back to save your life
Right now
I wouldn't turn an ear to your best friend
Right now
I know that I'll be crazy to care about you again
But maybe one day
I'll try
I don't know how unlikely it seems
That we could ever have been so close
I don't care, I'm moving on, chase your tail
But when it's your end of the line
I'll be there, baby, to say goodbye
That's as much as I care
Right now
I wouldn't come back to save your life
Right now
I wouldn't turn an ear to your best friend
Right now
I know that I'll be crazy to care about you again
But, yes, one day
I'll try
Explanation: Hmm... I hate you now, but before life ends I'll come and talk to you again.
What Do You Do
I know you have your moments
You just want to turn time around
And do it all over again
Don't make that same mistake the second time
I know you've been through those nights
Where sleeping is only a dream
Regrets and what could have been are haunting you
What do you do now?
Tell me, what do you do when you dreams are out of sight?
What do you do when your world is upside-down?
What do you do when the one you loved
Doesn't care for you after all?
What do you do?
It's sad to know I've been there
To know I was that close and lost it
I wish I could live it all again
I'm willing to redo the bad days, too
And then I was with you all that time
I forgot to savor it
Now I can't recall memories anymore
What do you do then?
Tell me, what do you do when you dreams are out of sight?
What do you do when your world is upside-down?
What do you do when the one you loved
Doesn't care for you after all?
What do you do?
Move on
Move on
There ain't nothing more to see here
There ain't nothing more to do
The past is gone
Worry about the present
Don't do a thing
What do you do when you dreams are out of sight?
What do you do when your world is upside-down?
What do you do when the one you loved
Doesn't care for you after all?
What do you do?
Move on
Move on
Move on
Explanation: Guess what? Moving on is the only option sometimes.
Change
Don't you be afraid
Be afraid for a change in things
Let the wind carry you wherever it wants you to go
You have to trust them to do the right thing
And trust yourself when you're sayin' the things that come next
Will be even better
Because I believe things change
You can't get around it
Things change
Don't even try to fight it
There are gonna be bad times
There will be ones you wish you'd never met
But things are going to change
And I remember
Remember when I was so young
I wanted to keep everything I had, and I fought and fought when things changed
I didn't trust anybody but myself
To take me through the night
But things have changed
And I believe in miracles now
And now I do think things change
You can't get around it
Things change
Don't even try to fight it
There are gonna be bad times
There will be ones you wish you'd never met
But things are going to change
I know you're thinking about some others
Who will never rise above their place
If you're thinking things will never change for them
Then can't you help them on their way?
I believe all things can change
You can't get around it
Things change
Don't even try to fight it
There are gonna be bad times
There will be ones you wish you'd never met
But things are going to change
Explanation: When the night comes upon you, know that a daybreak is on the way. Even if it's Alaska, the summer will come.
Let Go
Do you remember the things I said?
Do you remember my goodbye?
Do you know how I still regret the day
I let my heart meet your eyes?
Why did you go, and leave me alone?
It wouldn't hurt you to stay
Now you're fine, happy, and I could be too
Not drowning in my own doubt, day after day
Now the others walk the path I'll never tread
I can only follow them in dreams
Stay close to you through hopeless faith
Though nothing could ever be enough
Why did I stay, when I knew it was wrong?
Now it'll just hurt me to try and leave
And I'm broken now, the opposite of you
You, who float high above all the others
Help me let you go, I guess
Let go of the life I'll never live
Help me; I only need you to know
Know that I'm here; know that I know we can't be
I know you didn't care for me
There isn't a need to pretend
I don't care anymore, as I've given it time
Time tears all things like this apart
I remember you as a lesson learned
I've cried, pined away, and at last let go
To see you for who you have become
How did I ever love you then?
Explanation: The relationship never should have started, but she let it... Now she has to forget him.
Empty
I wake up staring at an empty room
I wonder if you've ever been here before
Or anyone, anything, anyway...
I'm in an empty room
I can say what I like; no one will hear
No one can hear me missing and praying for you
You left me empty
Because I know why you left
Why'd you have to go?
Because I know you didn't want to
You promised me forever
I still believe your words
I guess I'll see you one day in heaven
Maybe I will; it seems so huge
I could spend years searching and still not find you
I'll spend eternity looking for you
It'll be worth it to see you again
I guess you'll never know
What exactly you mean to me
You're not lost, and I know where you are
But I don't want to wait
I'm left here, empty
Come walk inside my dreams
Explanation: After he isn't part of you anymore, what are
you?
Nobody Knows
Lie in wait
Crouch alone with a desperate tongue
Ponder with mouth closed, always afraid
Deception and lies come easily from others
Nobody knows the world in which you suffer
They must, they do assume the best
Draw lies from your false smile
Jaws ache after holding it for life
Afraid, tired, for want of sleep
Dreadful rest where nightmares chase dreams
Heaven is not in unfeeling slumber
Nor is it alive, in all and you
Nobody knows
You may as well consent
Nobody knows, and they do not care
For you, or themselves
They all live careless, not like you
You feel and they assume; the reason why...
For where we go in the next life
Nobody knows
Numb
She scrawls the words
still left unsaid
Whispers her goodbyes
in the empty room
In a house of strangers
who don't know her at all
New page in her notebook
for words she will never say
Tears spill; this summer is cold
she is still numb
She doesn't feel inside
but can exhaust outside
Faster, the falling does come
until, at last, completely...
Numb
