Heaven's not a place that you go when you die.
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment,
And take this advice, live by every word,
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now.

--The Spill Canvas

Oh so insistent. The wings of a hummingbird. The cricket's desperate song. The fox as it makes its way through the trees, stalking its unfortunate prey. The night is young; the moon has barely had time to find its place in the sky.

Tonight, too many things are rushing through Cupivi's mind. She is dragging her long rodent-like tail behind her, allowing it to sliver over dirt and rocks and through puddles. Many emotions are tugging at the corners of her mind. Deep sorrow is just around the corner, she knows, but she cannot predict what could cause this, nor can she change what is to come. Straining to keep her thoughts and emotions on the present, she sighs and continues to trudge through the sands of Vlakten, her abandoned but not forgotten home. Cupivi grimaced at the memories that began to flood into her brain, tangling themselves into the mix of future and present emotions; of frets and regrets. She couldn't say why lately she had found herself trapped in this state of mind.. It bothered her that she couldn't concentrate more on the moment. She usually tried to find the positive side of anything, but now she had a hard time fishing it out.
Cupivi shook her entire body, and small grains of sand fell back to the ground where the belonged. Closing her eyes and breathing deeply, she managed to light a sort of fire within herself, and she allowed it to spread through her chest. Optimism was a Cupivi's most powerful ally. Even through the impending emotions of sorrow, she could believe that something better and more positive was beyond that. She lifted her chin and finally, slowly, opened her lustrous flaxen eyes. She tipped her head to the side in her signature quizzical stance, and it was as if all of her thoughts and woes flooded out of her left ear and onto the sandy floor beneath her.
After gazing out over the dunes in the north and the prairies to the south, she let out a long, exhausted sigh. She was home. A home that she had never wished to return to, and that she would be leaving as soon as possible.
But for now, the memories would flow through her conciousness, and she would have to acknowledge them....

Eager to learn....

[Name] Cupivi

[Goes By] Civi
[Pronounced] Kiwi
[Gender] Female
[Painted] Orange
[Color] Fox-like
[Company] Descartes, faellie
[Disposition] Empathetic; Curious; Loyal
[Ability] Fortells future emotions
[Love] None
[Offspring] None
[Mood] Reminiscant; Resistant
[Impending Emotion] Sorrow

And to teach....

- Cupivi, no matter how she looks in any image, has a very small body and an extroardinarily large tail.
- she is amicable and adventurous; she will not tolerate sitting still
- Descartes, though sometimes he travels off on his own, is her travelling companion. They do have time apart, but do not be surprised to find the two together.
-Cupivi is loyal and empathetic. She is able to feel the emotions she WILL be feeling in the future as well as those she should be feeling in the present.
-She prefers comedies to tragedies, not only because her younger life was filled with enough tragedy to last her a lifetime, but because she is easily amused and would rather look toward the brighter side.
-Cupivi lives in the moment; she is afraid of planning for the future because she is aware of how fragile the future is, and also worries that promises will be broken or plans will fall through. However, she gives each of her choices a fair bit of thought, because she believes that somehow each choice she makes (and each choice any individual makes) has some sort of affect on everyone. Simply because she doesn't plan doesn't make her wreckless, and she finds it appalling that someone could run off and do something without considering the consequences.
-Cupivi is frightened of death, what it will feel like, will she feel it before hand (as she does with so many other things), and what lies beyond this life. Her intelligence and rational way of thinking tell her there is nothing after life, however she is intrigued by the faith of others, and almost envies their unwavering belief..
-Civi would never rearrange her life. Her strongest belief is that everything happens because of choices and consequences. If she didn't live by this, she would have nothing to believe in. She couldn't ever change that.
-Someone who she despised would have to be awfully crude and spiteful. They would have to be incredibly misinformed, unintelligent, and wrongfully opinionated for her to despise them, since she mostly accepts everyone, finding something "wonderful" to love about them, no matter how far she has to dig to find it.
-She doesn't have a plan for the rest of her life. She's afraid of making plans, knowing life is unpredictable and not only her choices but the choices of those around her will take her to where she ends up.
-Cupivi's virtues seem to outnumber her vices. She attempts to find the best in everyone, and usually succeeds. She loves everyone, which sounds odd but she cannot control it and its true. However, she can trust too easily, and her refusal to plan can cause her to come off as reckless.
-Cupivi values everyone's opinion. She enjoys discussing ideas and theories, but does not get caught up in winning. She is more interested in where the discussion will lead her own mind, and trying to broaden her understanding of the world and others.
-Cupivi is almost overwhelmingly optimistic. She would brace herself if faced with the prospect of imminent overwhelming sorrow, but she would know that life would go on (since during the sorrow, she would be able to feel other emotions and know that it was only a piece of the big picture). She has learned from her ability that no one emotion is worth dying for, or giving up for. Theres always something around the corner.
-Cupivi will never worry about 'messing up' good emotions to come. Her "predictions" are actually pretty much set in stone. However, they are useful when she is judging people or a situation. If she was shortly going to be overjoyed, she would feel that (numbed in the back of her mind), and then later (when the time was appropriate and whatever was going to happen happened) the feeling would explode and take over, leaving that space in the back of her mind for the next feeling.
- To Cupivi, chance is merely odds-- a mathematical phenomenon. You can calculate chance by looking at what choices you have and which decisions you make. Cupivi believes strongly that every choice made matters (no matter how trivial it seems at the time) because every choice one individual makes will have some sort of affect on everyone. Fate, to Cupivi, means what is SUPPOSED to happen. But since she does not believe in a devine being of any sort, this is tricky. There is no supreme plan for everyone, but their choices throughout life decide their "fate". So you make your choices, and then you get chances, and then you make more choices out of those chances, and this goes on and on until you wind up where you are "meant to be". Your fate can change depending on your chances, choices, and situations.

She ponders her life....

As the sun set behind mountain-lined horizon, a very pregnant lupe stumbled for shelter to give birth. Her heart beat echoed in her head; she was tired, weary. As she struggled on her own, her mate was off somewhere in the wilderness; she knew not when he would return to find her and his offspring. Grimacing, she laid herself down below a sprawling oak and readied herself as well as she could. Then it came. A pain so excruciating she could not focus on her own thoughts. She could not talk, she could not move; her entire body stiffened as the birthing began.
The first puppy arrived a mere twenty minutes after she went into labor.. his fur looked pale to her, although both she and his father had dark fur. She had only seconds to contemplate this, for the agony returned as she began to give birth to her second child. However, this pain did not end in twenty minutes. Hours and hours later, when the poor mother was close to death, she finally gave birth to her second and last baby. The little girl tumbled from her mothers womb after hours of fighting it. She blinked, almost looking annoyed at being pushed from her home. Thrilled to be alive and finished, her mother smiled down at the two children. Still no sign of their father, but this she barely noticed-- her attention was on these two angels.
Then, seemingly out of the blue, the darker of the two, the female, began to cry. It was silent, and she shouldn't have been mature enough to cry, but tears flooded down her cheeks and onto the grass. Again, her mother's heartbeat raced. What was wrong with her daughter? She rushed to lick the tears from the child's face, franticly trying to soothe her. But to no avail. The girl continued to weep.
As the female lupe focused on her newborn daughter, her son grew more and more weary. At some point, unnoticed by his own mother, he slipped off into an endless sleep. Moments later, his sister's tears subsided, and she twisted her head to look over at his lifeless body. Relieved to see the tears dried, her mother sighed and smiled. Then, curious as to what had ceased the waterworks, she followed the pup's gaze. Shock. Anguish. Misery. HER BABY. She rushed to his side; cradled him in her arms; tried her hardest to awaken him... nothing ever would, however. Her son was gone. She would never know that it was a miracle he had even made it out of the womb. It was more likely for him to be born stillborn. But she had fallen in love with him. He had been her baby, even if only for a few hours. Then, the tears that had been her daughters only moments before began to fall from her closed lids. They dripped over her son's unanimated body, soaking into his light-colored fur.

Cupivi watched her mother cry. She had known a great sadness would come- she had felt it. The young pup had wept from that exact emotion that she watched her mother shed tears from now. Civi snuggled into her mother's leg as the mourning female cried herself to sleep. But Civi now knew something her mother did not-- they had hope. For what, Civi did not know-- she could only feel the future, not see it.
For years to come, Cupivi found her power followed her throughout life. Before her father left them both, she felt the hatred and misery that she and her mother would experience when he abandoned them. She came to depend on it, and got better at hiding her power and only showing her own emotions from the present.

Years passed; her mother passed away with them. Cupivi had known by her 'future feelings' that this devastating event would happen soon; she was ready. Her mother needed to be a free spirit once more, and Civi truly believes she travels the world, happy to be able to fly with the winds.

Over the next years alone, Cupivi mainly stuck around the area she was born. She developed her own strong beliefs (excluding a divine existence and including the idea that the choices an individual makes have effects on everyone in some way; the idea that there is something "wonderful" to find in everyone, even if it is a seemingly negative characteristic, and the idea that no matter what happens, life goes on.) She became very optimistic because she knows that there is always something beyond deep sadness, angst, or terror. Very little puzzles Cupivi, but she does struggle with the idea of souls. She could very easily believe that every individual holds a soul, but it seems like an idea for a non-scientific brain, someone who believes in heaven and a supreme being.
The one thing she is sure of is that her life has many adventures to come.

Heaven's not a place that you go when you die.
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment,
And take this advice, live by every word,
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now.

And skips her rocks....

July 17th: I was passing through a seemingly undiscovered meadow the other night, near the lands of Shukumei. My thoughts were on... future woes, I must admit. For some reason I cannot escape this recent state of mind. Although this worries me, I try not to focus on anything to do with it. I must regain my old unwavering optimism.. I know deep down it is still in there, but for some reason it has been hard to unearth it. But I met someone, a new acquaintance. She goes by the name of Lunuhris, and she pulled me out of my woeful thoughts... to be continued.

For ages, Cupivi hung around the world of Verloren, where she was born. She explored those lands thoroughly, trying to find out their origin and their many secrets. The lands were long ago the home of a technological civilization. Bits and pieces of forgotten inventions and gadgets are still scattered about that world. She met strangers there who soon became friends, and decided that she would always call Vlakten, one of the hottest continents in the world of Verloren, home. However, as time passed, Cupivi became restless. She wished to explore other lands and find greater and more exciting adventures to embark on. She and Descartes, her faithful faellie, set off from the world with which they were so familiar and travelled to countries and worlds and lands that they had only ever read about (Descartes is a very well-read faellie).
It wasn't long before they stumbled upon the lands of Shukumei. This was a place that they had only ever read about from one very ancient, very fragile book. Even so, that book had not begun to describe the wonders that they were gaping at when they first arrived. Now they have set out to explore the many lands and secrets of Shukumei, and that could take centuries..

It's that moment in life....

Cupivi tries her best to focus on the present, although her ability tends to distract her and pull her into the emotions of the future. In a way, the strangers she meets during her travels keep her more grounded. She focuses on their emotions (as she is very good at reading the emotions of others by their behavior) and questions their ideals and theories. Because of her belief that there is a bit of "wonderfulness" in every being, Cupivi is very intrigued by others, and appreciates their innermost beliefs and character. It is her wish to meet as many individuals as she possibly can.

Coming soon... roleplay anyone?

When you actually feel alive....

Love? No, actually. I mean, I suppose in a sense I love everyone, but I have not yet met my "one and only", the special individual I wish to be with forever.

Take this advice....

Your actions speak louder than your words. Yes, we hear this constantly from our elders and from those who wish to patronize, but take those words from someone who does not wish to patronize or lecture you. Each of your actions has an effect on another individual's actions, which in turn has an effect on an entirely different individual's actions, and so on and so on. Before you know it, your single action has affected at least the immediate environment in which you live, if not more. Each choice you make affects the choices of others, and the situations and opportunities that will lie ahead. It is important that even split-second decisions are given proper thought and judgement.
Know that you have the power to affect the overall outcome of things, and take this into consideration when making your decisions. Life is an unstable thing, easy to change for the better or worse. We all know that not everyone will make the right decisions, and that will not only affect them but also the rest of us. So think about the choices you are making.
Every individual has something to contribute. Every individual has some quality that others can appreciate. Never judge too quickly, this is important. Get to know as many other beings as you possibly can. Not just briefly-- really try to come to know and understand them. Truly understanding another individual is the most rewarding experience life can offer.
Do not drown yourself in depression. Always look for the positive side of things. If you simply take the time to smile everyday

Live by every word....

The song:
And there's three, count 'em-three
Children playing on the beach.
They were eager to learn,
To be taught, and to teach

There's Veronica;
She's biting her lip
As she watches the waves turn white at the tip.
And there's Vaida;
Radiating with joy,
And luckily she still can't stand the sight of a boy.
And lastly there's Dave;
His hair dances in the wind,
And he's wondering what love is,
And why it has to end.

And he can't understand
How everyone goes on breathing when true love ends.
His mother whispers quietly;
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die.
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment,
And take this advice, live by every word,
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now.

And there's three, count 'em-three
Children growing on the beach.
They were eager to learn,
To be taught, and to teach

There's Veronica;
She's licking her lips
As she waits for her real, first passionate kiss.
And there's Vaida;
She can't admit her jealousy
Of her sister Veronica, and how she's so pretty.(and how she's so pretty)
And lastly there's Dave;
Still sitting on the dock,
He ponders his life, and he skips his rocks.
And he wonders when his father will return,
But he's not coming back.

And he can't understand
How everyone goes on breathing when true love ends.
His mother whispers quietly;
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die,
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive,
So live for the moment.
And take this advice, live by every word,
Love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard.

And there's three, count 'em-three
Children missing from the beach.
They were eager to learn,
To be taught, and to teach.

But the sad thing
Is that they never lived passed the age of fifteen
Due to neglect from their mother,
Who was bed ridden by her ex-lover, their father.
And she didn't even notice, or pay much attention
As the tide came in and swept her three into the ocean.
Now all her advice, it seems useless.

Well, heaven's not a place that you go when you die.
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.
So live for the moment.
And take this advice, live by every word,
Love's completely real,
So forget anything that you have heard,
And live for the moment now.

And you are (hopefully) listening to "Oh So Insistent" by Andrew Bird.

Adoptables....

1. Do not claim these as your own.
2. If I say no to a trade or request, respect that.
3. Always link back to this page, ALWAYS.
4. If i see these being claimed as your own in any way (bc, page, lookup, anywhere) you will be reported.
5. They are only hosted on tinypic. If you would like to host them on your host, feel free, but STILL LINK BACK. mmkay? Good.
6. Trades are always open to shukumei members, and usually to public.
7. Shukumei members will usually be granted requests as well ;D
8. Do not take what isn't yours.

Right now, requests are OPEN but I reserve the right to say nay. If you are requesting from this set (I have multiple sets), please neomail IKIB with the subject set to "peekaboo shoulder

Fanart

...

Live for the moment now....

Send your friends for a visit? Visit my friends?

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Counter began August 5, 2009

Credits

Thank you to the many people who helped me with this layout. It took way more effort than it might look, but apparently I am a complete nitwit.
Thank you MOON (moonstar102) for offering me your help in the first place.
Thank you AKI (rainrulz) for playing around with the layout, trying to guess at the css.
Thank you NEES (neesboy) for providing the basic css that I started from.
Thank you TORI (athena_houndoom) for finishing off the layout and making it look great in IE, and for asking NIKKI (nikker) to help make it pretty in FF as well.
Thank you ARDY (avallon), AKI (rainrulz), and TAWREH (garinawk) for helping me with the new pose for Cupivi by redlining and such. Couldn't have pulled it off without you.
Thanks to all my friends in Shukumei, for providing motivation and a place where Cupivi can frolick and grow ;D