Greetings Info REV 1 REV 2 REV 3 REV 4 REV 5 Resources Link?


CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR

Puck's Application Review

requests are; temporarily closed! check back soon.


So. You saw your dream pet UFA, and fell in love. So much so, in fact, that you had to apply. You've done what you had to do - and, of course, you're ahead of the deadline, you've read the rules, and everything's peachy keen - but now it comes time to actually turn the whole thing in!

That's where I come in. I'm Puck, and I review applications. Send me your app, a link to the rules page for the pet you're applying for, and the deadline for the application, and I'll look it over. I'll check for typos, coding or viewing errors, and suggest any improvements to give you the best chance of getting your application accepted. Intrigued? Mildly interested? Indifferent? Read the FAQ in the next section for more information.




Rules and FAQ for Requesting a Review

readreadread and you'll livelivelive


Will you review my app?
Best way to check; go to the first page (labeled 'Greetings' in the nav bar) and right underneath the first header, it should say 'requests are;' and then open or closed. If they're open, odds are I am accepting applications for review. I generally take five at a time. If you want your application reviewed, send me a neomail that includes a link to your app (neomail apps, put the entirety of the text onto a blank petpage - it makes it easy to keep track of), a link to the rules page of the foster owner, and any other information you think I might need to know (such as the deadline!). I'll neomail you once to say that I've received your request and accepted it, and again when I'm done with the review. I generally like to receive requests with AT LEAST a week 'til the deadline. If you give me two weeks, you're a superstar, and I'll do the whole kit and caboodle; review your app AND review your accounts to make sure you're in top shape for the adoption process!

What kinds of applications will you review?
Any and all, meaning both petpage and neomail. The only applications I absolutely will not review are for pets for which I intend to apply for as well; I think the reason behind this should be obvious.

I've neomailed you and you've told me that you're reviewing my app. Now what?
Sit tight! I try to work through everything as fast as possible. When I've completely reviewed your app, I'll send you a neomail and a slot number. You can see the final, complete review in the respective slot (Rev 1, Rev 2, etc). If you need clarifications on anything, shoot me a neomail and I'll be glad to help out. I will keep the review up for about a week (this may be extended IF I don't have a lot of people waiting).

I was chosen as the new owner!
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you, I love to hear back from people. If you have any comments, criticisms or suggestions for improvement, I'd love to hear from you.

I wasn't chosen as the new owner!
I'm sorry /: It's a rough deal. I cannot guarantee that you'll be chosen. I promise that I'll do my best to help you turn in the best possible application. And hopefully have some fun along the way.

I don't agree with your review at all.
Okay, then don't listen to me! ^^ Everything I put down is a suggestion, pure and simple. The ultimate decision and advocate for your application is yourself. Similarly, please don't take any critique personally. I 'grade' you harshly with the sole intent of helping you out.

What do you get out of this?
The joy of helping you out! If you're pleased with my help, you can always link back to me and let your friends know about the help I can offer! I'd really appreciate it.

I have more questions!

If you're sure that they're not answered here, send me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!


Review Slot 1

client; hannah for anddi (sept. 17)


*Review in Progress*


First Impressions
Kind of an odd choice for a layout, but it is pretty! So you don't have to change it. I get the connection between Anddi and Fyora, but since you don't actually have a story about Anddi that might make the connection more than mere color...idk. It's not a bad choice in a premade, it's just not optimal.

Introduction
general note; 'Even though I've only been playing neopets for a little bit, I think of my pets as my family, and I can't stand it when people think of neopets as inanimate objects, or say things like "I only care about color." I care about different things (see the banner on my main account with the Maraquan Hissi).' This, technically speaking, is not really about you. It's about your attitude towards pets. About you would be 'I've been playing blahblahblah years and I do battledome/games/rsing/fostering/kq/whatever on neo' etc etc. Also, link to your main or to wherever the banner links. Don't make Jacinta have to hunt it down.

Plans plans plans! Did I mention plans?
hyperlink; ' I also have a page in my gallery with stuff for her, including a plushie petpet paint brush for Penny' Link to the gallery. S'just convenience.

general note; 'I get TONS of books and codestones from Key Quest, so Anddi will have the best education and training possible. I also have a page in my gallery with stuff for her, including a plushie petpet paint brush for Penny. I have 6 gourmet foods, and I'm looking for more! I put the books in my safety deposit box for safe keeping.' Mmm...try to organize this a bit better. So you plan on reading to and training Anddi. That should be an idea in itself. Put the books and codestones into the gallery where they'll be visible; they can't be stolen from your gallery by an RE. Then tack onto the idea of the gourmet food, and gallery-stock these as well! Expand on the idea of Penny; why paint him/her plushie? Develop a character and/or customization for both Anddi and Penny. It doesn't have to be elaborate; just have something.

deletion; 'I have no idea why I chose that user name, because my name isn't Kya, Mya, or Sya. I guess it just sounded like a good username. ' Delete the discussion of the username. It's irrelevant.

hyperlink; 'You can see what her petpage will look like if you look at Glymmerwing's lookup.'

note; 'Her homepage is going to be a surprise, though!' If you have the homepage already, link to it. If you don't have a homepage designed, be honest about it, and say that you will do it only if you fully intend to do so. If your other pets have petpages, it's a general good-indication that you're being truthful as to your intentions.

Six More Reasons Why You Should Choose Me
1. Expand on this point. What do you mean you're honest? You follow all of TNT's rules? You will honestly do everything you've promised to do for Anddi? You could probably squish five into this one, since being honest and following the rules would prevent you from ever being frozen

2. Expand on this point. Why do you love them? You've barely mentioned them at all this entire application. You could put 3 and 6 into this point as well, since they're related. You love your pets, so you'd never trade them, and Anddi is already beloved. Voila.

4. Erm, I'd take this point out entirely. All of it. You love your pets regardless of their color; that could go under the 2 I've outlined above. You don't need to imply that whoever does get her will be running around the boards bragging about her color. Show instead of tell, and all of that.

Other Things You Need to Know
Hyperlink all of these accounts. Please. Pleasepleaseplease. Speaking from experience, it's annoying to have to keep a second browser open just to look up everything on the app as it progresses.
Rules Check
You've followed all of the needed rules. However, I would highly recommend you expand your application to include those questions listed under 'Guidelines.' Minimum effort tends to get minimum results. You don't have to make a crazy app, just a complete one.

Overall Impression
Your app needs some work. Develop your ideas more, and try to be as complete as possible. You don't have to go off the CRAZY end of the pool, but do try to be more thorough.
This review will be taken down at the earliest on 9/17. If you would like for me to review a certain section of your app again, feel free to send me a message.


Review Slot 2

client; alagfalaswen for nefz (sept. 10)



*Review Complete*
First Impressions
The layout at first place looks clean and organized; no glaring fonts or colors and the ideal resolution is even emphasized. A fantastic start.

Intro (Nefz: an Application)
Deletion; 'So yeah, my choice.' Extraneous text, etc.
Deletion; 'for Nefz (the Plushie Bruce)' Yeah, you can kill off a lot of your parentheses. Since the sentence before this says practically the same thing, it's best to not repeat yourself too much.
Deletion; Also, having checked and rechecked (and rechecked), 'this application should have (hopefully) fulfilled all the requirements on Wevo's page.' Let her be the judge of that. Just have the 'neomail if you have any questions' phrase; you can attach that to the previous paragraph, and it'll roll smoothly.
Good thank you. Always smart to thank C:

Axtar; person who made this app
As a quick sidenote; I just noticed that your subheadings are a little difficult to read; the blue-green's too bright on that particular grey field.

rephrase; 'I'm Asian - from Malaysia - and have been on Neopets for the past 8+ years, though I only became a really active player about 3 years back.' I'm an Asian from Malaysia and have been... (the hyphen is unnecessary)

rephrase; 'my artpage is on Yerenwen's page (although really, most of my recent art is currently on Snowgnats' page, waiting to be shifted over.)' My artpage is officially on Yerenwen's page, but most of my recent art is on Snowgnats's page, waiting to be shifted over. Watch your abuse of parentheses.

deletion; '(with the exception of Yerenwen)' Yerenwen is of no concern to the foster owner. S'long as it's obvious Yerenwen is well cared for and treasured, it's best not to put too much about irrelevant pets into the app.

random point; 'he will be moved to either my main or 'lyserilia' should I go through with that idea.' Obviously Cx Those are the only other two accounts you have.

rephrase; '(Probably my main though - I mean, Nefz with Yerenwen on the same account? EPIC. :D)' You're depleting the parentheses population at an alarming rate o: Put this idea up with the one about moving him to your main. Makes it more solid~ or some such.

grammar; 'none of my accounts has ever been' none of my accounts HAVE ever been

side note; I really like your personal voice. It sounds adorable, and really sincere and excited. A+ for personal voice.

Nefz's Character
grammar/rephrase (I can't decide) 'him and amuses the rest' Erm, I'm not sure of the grammatical correctness of having 'the rest' dangling by itself without a clarification of which 'rest' it's referring to (the rest...of the family, group, community, world, etc). I'd rephrase it along the lines of 'him and amuses everyone else)

grammar; 'he still idolize' he still idolizes

Clothes/Art
Deletion; 'I'll probably keep this customization for Nefz though since it matches his sewing-plushies theme.' No one wants to hear probably or maybes in an app for their pet; they want you to be fired up with your ideas! Be more assertive. It's a cute customization that matches his character design and personality; be proud! No more equivocating.

side note; in case I haven't already said it, very cute art.

Family
sidenote; yay~ I like all of your original characters. Very well thought out. Nice family.

rephrase; ' looks out for him to spare him a fall or two' and even tries to keep him from tripping every now and then.

rephrase; 'Nefz has yet to meet the others - he hopes he does soon. (And so do I!) I'm still working on developing pets like Ridy (government spy/artist?), and others like Jimmy have yet to be painted their perfect color.' Nefz has yet to meet the others - he hopes he gets to chance to do so soon (and so do I)! Here's a list of the pets who have yet had a chance to enter Nefz's world; linked name, linked name, linked name, etc.

grammar; 'and I intend do to well by them.' and I intend to do well by them.

grammatical shoutout; 'Making this entire app has been a blast - fingers crossed that it's done its job' You used 'its' and it's' in the same sentence and correctly! I could kiss you. Consider this my keyboard kiss; *

Rules Check
You're all good. My my my. Cx Quite a requirements list.

Overall Impressions
Very, very, very nicely done app. You have a few grammatical points to cover. Also, watch your abuse of parentheses; it gets distracting. Otherwise, my main piece of advice would be to stop equivocating. Not 'I might do this,' 'maybe do that,' 'it would be soooo cool if...' etc etc. 'I will' 'He will' etc. Be on fire about your plans and your convictions. The only time it's alright to equivocate is regarding whether or not you'll actually be chosen; then it's a bit rude to assume.

Anyway! Much luck to you; if you have any further questions or wish for me to review a specific section of the application again.


Review Slot 3

client: none



*idling away*

Review Slot 4

client: none



*idling away*

Review Slot 5

client: none



*idling away*

Helpful Pages or Resources


If you have a page to suggest, NM me the link and I'll check it out. Adoptable directories, css help, premades, application guides, all are welcome.

Application Help; sometimes it's good to go back to the basics


CSS Help; spiff up that page!


Customization; stand out from the crowd


Mini Adopts II Petpet Matcher

Come Again

spread the word!





BUTTON MADE BY *CLICK* BUTTONS



Heads Up! You're about to leave Neopia!

You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
different! Are you sure you'd like to continue?



It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
Heads Up! You're about to leave Neopia!

You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
different! Are you sure you'd like to continue?



It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
Heads Up! You're about to leave Neopia!

You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
different! Are you sure you'd like to continue?



It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
/help/bumper/headers/log-in-to-facebook

NEOPETS, characters, logos, names and all related indicia
are trademarks of Neopets, Inc., © 1999-2014.
® denotes Reg. US Pat. & TM Office. All rights reserved.

PRIVACY POLICY | Safety Tips | Contact Us | About Us | Press Kit
Use of this site signifies your acceptance of the Terms and Conditions