is a Neopian / owns some Neopets / lives in the Realworld / writes for the Times / considers requests / says weird things

How did you get your avatar?
It was a prize for publication in the 250th edition of the Times. Yes, as far as I know it IS still active.

No, the other one. The turquoise one you use on the boards sometimes?
I'm sorry to say that one is no longer active. It was a prize from the Curse of Maraqua plot, despite the fact that my participation in that plot pretty much consisted of "Yay, pirates! Let me help!-- I have to buy a WHAT? It costs HOW much?... So much for that." That plot is now finished and locked.

Why did you throw an item at me?
There are lots of pretty items in Neopia and it's only fair in my eyes that they find themselves in the possession of nice and helpful individuals. No, you don't have to pay me back. If you feel indebted to me for some reason then cancel it out by being nice to some other random person. Like a brilliant Realworld person named Danny Wallace, I get a kick out of kindness.

How do you make your Neopoints?
I use game guides, invest in the Neodaq, and have an irregular side income from the Poetry Gallery.

How did you ever get so many painted pets?
Some of them (like Shari and Nelly) I painted when the brushes in question were cheap. Silvercloud was zapped by Boochi. Lila was painted thanks to a Fountain Faerie Quest. Avie and Laurrie's paintbrushes were gifts from kind Neopians. As for 'Stat, Lei and Becky, I saved up for their paintbrushes the long way. Sorry, but you'll be getting no magic PB-winning formula from me. ;) The other "painted" pets are my labbies: any amount of fosters, and Maddie, who is ever-changing.

What's your current goal?
Get back into fostering, after a rather awkward hiatus last year.

Do you collect anything?
Fish, and art-related items for Desi.

I have a question about your adoption agency.
Go here.

How can you say you own 20 Neopets when the maximum allowed is four?
Four Neopets per account x the maximum of 5 legal accounts = 20 pets in total.

Gosh. Why do you have so many pets?
Short answer: Because I want to!
Slightly longer answer: Like most Neopians, I thought I'd be a one- or two-pet girl all my life. Then Silver came on the scene, and for a while, I was happy with three Neopets. That was before I discovered fostering, though. Avie and 'Stat were just begging to be hired as agency assistants. Laurrie and Jachinthe are ex-fosters I got too fond of to let go. Becky Star was the most wonderful Giving Day present I could imagine. Blue I found by chance in a rough situation and simply had to intervene. Desi and Mem were each in trouble of their own and, well, somebody had to do something, right? In each case, I came to love them so much that they stayed. Then Maddie moved in while I tried to find his real owner, but circumstances changed and he ended up staying too. It's like that sometimes. Lila belonged to a friend who had to go back to Earth, and who fretted over her pet's future. And Lei was a long-lost foster pet who finally came back to me after five years of waiting.

Are you going to have any more permanent pets?
Probably not. That doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate an extra pet slot-- with fourteen permies, I'm down to six foster slots, which isn't ideal.

Can I/my pet be friends with [pet's name]?
As long as that pet is one of my permies, sure! Bear in mind that I don't go in much for random chat, though.

Do you think my pet could be your pet's boy/girlfriend?
Sorry, no. TNT doesn't like romance and I'd rather not get warned, or worse, for talking about it. Besides, most of my pets are still just kids.

Can my pet be a relative of [pet's name]?
I'd rather not. It seems weird to add an outsider into what's already something of a large Neopian family. We'd always like more friends, though!

Why don't you want to paint Laurrie, Mem or Jachinthe?
I think they look just fine the way they are. Blue, however, may someday get painted if there's ever a good-looking Maractite Xweetok.

What is that your Acara's wearing?
Stylish Volcano Run II Shoes (NP), Mechanical Wings (NC), and an Abigail Daily Dare Badge (NP). The way the badge looks as if it hooks onto the wing strap is just a happy coincidence.

One of your pets is in a circle the way they used to be!! How did you do THAT?
It's a Neocash item from the Elite Boutique, which you can only use if you're over 48 months.

Who is this girl "Bunny" mentioned on Mem's lookup?
Bunny, or Brianna, was someone who used to take care of Mem, a long time ago. I was never able to get in contact with her, though, and it's safe to say she's not coming back.

You mention that some of your pets are adopted. Which ones? Do you know their former owners?
All my permies excepting Sharalik and 'Stat (loveslasthaven) are adopted. I have had contact of some sort with the former owners of a couple of them: Mem, Desi, Maddie, and after a fashion, Blue. However, I know very little about any of them. Lila is the one real exception: her owner was a friend of mine, and we talked a little.

How old are your pets mentally/emotionally?
Well, maybe this isn't a FREQUENTLY asked question, but I figured I should get it down once and for all. Some of my pets have more specific ages than others, though. In descending order:
Avie is over twenty.
Desi is somewhere between eighteen and twenty-two.
Maddie and 'Stat are in their late teens.
Jachinthe is fifteen.
Blue is about fourteen.
Lila is somewhere between eleven and fourteen.
Nelly is between ten and thirteen, a few months older than Shari (and doesn't he know it).
Shari and Silver are between ten and twelve.
Becky Star is ten.
Laurrie and Leilla are between seven and nine. Laurrie was the "baby" of the family for a while.
Mem is six.

One of your pets has a really weird name.
OK. Let's break this down.
Sharalik/Shari Kelsey Dreamer. My original idea for a name was "Sharali", but that was taken. "K" is one of my favourite letters to use in character names, so I just added one to the end. Her surname is after me; "Kelsey" is a reference to a favourite author of hers who, at some point, has gone by that name, though I don't know if it's her real one.
Nelly Dreamer was adopted with the name he has today, and isn't particularly bothered about changing it.
Silvercloud/Silver Dreamer is called by a simple shortened form of his given name.
Lila Loo Donahue-Dreamer came with her first names. "Donahue" was the surname of her old owner.
only4theavi/Avie Lia Martine is something of an enigma. My imagining of her given name is in the Neopian Times as "Starshine: an Eyrie's Beginnings". Avie works reasonably well as an everyday name, and "Lia" was chosen simply for its sound. As for her surname? Back when I adopted Avie, I was desperate to have her, but I didn't know you were allowed side accounts. So I made a new account, mousetourmaline, and chose the name of its 'owner' off the spine of a book at the library. I learnt the rules later, but the surname stuck.
loveslasthaven/'Stat Martine has a given name that I saw in a dream, believe it or not. 'Stat is a rather clumsy abbreviation of it, since he refuses to be called anything resembling "Love".
Jachinthe "Shant" Annaruki Martine was adopted with her rather beautiful foreign-sounding first name. The nickname "Shant" is just Jachinthe as pronounced by a confused eight-year-old Acara. "Annaruki" is a mixture of her species (of which she is very proud) and the Realworld name "Anna"; the latter after a story my mother once told me, about a beautiful ballet dancer who lived and died on stage. Shant is a great lover of dance, and completely understands such a story.
Laurrie Martine was also adopted with her first name, fortunately for her.
Leilla Alena Martine came with her first name, too. "Alena" means "light" and is a second name I chose for her a long time ago.
Becky Star's name is elaborated on in my Times article "Name Me, I'm Yours". For brevity's sake, I won't repeat that explanation here.
bluespice777777777/Blue Elani Star has a first name taken from her given name. Her surname is the same as Becky's, from choice: it emphasises the close relationship between the two. "Elani" is a name I chose for her: it means "light," something that Blue brings, in her quiet way, to the darkness of everyone around her.
BadDesigner/Desi Archuleta may be a crazy artist, but is far too talented to be called by her given name any more. "Desi" seems a good compromise. Her surname is a reference to the girl who owned her once upon a time; those who have loved my pets in the past are not forgotten.
MyMommySpoilsMeMore/Mem Etana Archuleta was a gift to us, too. After she moved in, Desi and I were adamant that we wouldn't let her rather odd given name hold her back. It was a friend of mine at TNO who came up with "Mem" as an abbreviation, and I think it suits her. Her middle name was chosen for a reason. It means "strength", as does Bunny's real name. It seemed a good way to remember Mem's old owner and move on at the same time.
fraochs_premades/Mades "Maddie" Archuleta was, indeed, named for the famous HCer to whom he used to belong. But that was long ago, and she has moved on from him now. I have her official approval to take care of Maddie for as long as I want (squee!) As for his name, "Mades", pronounced with the stress on the second syllable, was my attempt at abbreviation, but for some reason I slipped a little and now EVERYONE calls him "Maddie".

What's your real name?
Frances, but I hate it. Call me Dream, RD, DC, Mouse, Kiro, or if you must, Rainbow. I answer to most things.

How old are you?
Twenty-four. Sometimes older, and sometimes much younger, than my years.

Twenty-four? Shouldn't you be too old for Neopets?
Shouldn't you be too mature to be making clueless ageist generalisations? No? I'm terribly sorry to hear that.

What state do you live in?
I don't. I'm a Brit.

What state is that?
I said, I'm a BRIT. From England.

Oh? What's England like, then?
Probably a lot like America, but we don't celebrate Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July, and think 300 miles is an unbelievably long way to drive. Having lived in France for a year, I'm back now, and it has its faults as well as its advantages. It's oddly conservative for Europe, attached to its traditions, home of unpredictable and sometimes ridiculous weather, obsessed with Doctor Who, a place of great ideas and occasionally greater mistakes. What can I say? It's my home.

What do you do apart from Neopets?
I'm currently trying to get into teaching college. Aside from that, I like baking, foreign languages, linguistics, writing fanfiction, anime, singing, video games (Pokémon and Ace Attorney both being very dear to my heart) and looking out cool vegetarian restaurants. I don't like gym exercise, but I do a fair bit of it anyway.

Are you single?
No, I'm in a long-term relationship with a very special person I met during university. He isn't a Neopet owner, and this is the last and only time I'm going to mention him on here.

How do you get into the Neopian Times?
The link is here: http://www.neopets.com/ntimes/nt_submit.phtml

What's the Starlight Invasion?
The SI is an imaginary war that I use as the backdrop to a series of stories. It's never really occurred in the Neopia we know, and as far as I know it never will.

Are the pets in your stories your pets?
No, not for the most part. They're creations of my own imagination, whom you won't find anywhere in Neopia at the time of writing. I am trying to write more about my own pets, though. 'Stat stars in "Dawn: A Kougra's Awakening", and I'm hoping to get a couple more stories written about my permies someday.

I'm not getting into the 'Times. What do you think might be wrong?
Are you reading your rejection slips? Have you checked SecretRuleBook's page? If you still think there's something you haven't spotted, put it on a petpage and I'll look it over for any red flags.

be my Neofriend?
Sure, if you Neomail me first so I can get to know you. I have no reason to accept requests from random people.

battle my Neopet?
I don't do battledome except to help out in wars or change fosters' gender. It's just not my "thing".

give me your Neopet?
Only some of them are up for adoption. Check first.

lend me your Neopet?
Sorry, no. I get jittery at the thought of one of my lovely pets being away from home, even for a little while.

help me with my lookup?
I have virtually no knowledge of HTML beyond what I need to properly format Times submissions. Sorry, but you'll have to ask someone else.

give me an item?
If you need something for a quest, I'll be happy to sell it to you, but I don't normally give items to people who ask unless I know them in the Realworld. My Random Acts of Kindness are just that-- random.

tell me your email?
No-- it isn't allowed, and besides, I love getting Neomail. Why not just use that?

join my guild?
Sorry, but I'm already a member of more than one excellent guild and have no plans to join any others.

tell me what you think of my pets?

link to my adoption agency?
Of course, providing you send me a banner or button to advertise it with, and it follows the same sort of rules I would (no abandoning existing pets to adopt, always taking applications, etc.)

stop zapping Maddie?
Absolutely not! His ever-changing nature is part of his personality. Why would I want to take that away?

If it's bizarre and it's not here, it might be a Britishism rather than specific to me.

TNT: I tend to treat this as a plural noun. Certainly in my version of English this is perfectly acceptable, even though I know it jars with some people. And, after all, TNT are individuals that form a group, not some monolithic robot entity. (At least, that's what they want us to think.)
56k-kittens: Users of dial-up Internet. If you don't know what that is, congratulations, you've just added a decade onto my mental age. 0_0
Nara problem: A fair approximation of my pronunciation of "not a problem". Likewise, "sirussly".
What's that got to do with the price of fish? ...with anything remotely relevant?
Visigoth! A very nice non-vulgar insult for the uncultured and irresponsible. Means something on the lines of "barbarian".