Are You Bored?

Welcome isnomnia!!

Basically this page curbs your boredness. Knock yourself out!
Here are some snippets to each section so you can decide which ones you would like to read first. If you have anything to contribute, feel free to neomail insensitively!

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The fastest time for twisting a balloon into a dog shape is 6.5 seconds.

Houseflies buzz in the key of F.

4,000 year old popcorn was found in a cave in New Mexico.

An octopus can have nearly 2,000 suckers on its arms.

It is possible to produce electricity from elephant dung.

The average person spends two years talking on the phone in their lifetime.

Funny Lines
I was wondering why that red frisbee was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Passing Time
Can you touch your chin or nose with your tongue?

Can you gleek? (activate the salivary glands under your tongue and squirt saliva)

Can you stick your fist in your mouth?

Neopets Secrets
This one... well is obviously a secret. You have to check that one out by yourself to find out what it is! :P


Interesting facts I bet you never knew!

You can escape from iron-wrought prisons by applying salsa sauce around the edges of the bars.

We lose an average of 50 hairs a day. Now how many days have you lived?

Your cellphone is filthier than your toilet seat.

In fact, your toilet seat is probably the cleanest surface in your house. As opposed to your toilet floor, which is the filthiest.

Dammit I'm mad" spelt backwards is "Dammit I'm mad".

The plastic thing at the end of your shoelaces is called an aglet.

A giraffe can't cough or swim.

The left leg of a chicken is more tender then the right one

The average ear of corn has 800 kernels arranged in 16 rows

All the coal, oil, gas and wood on earth would only keep the sun burning for a few days.

There are 10 human body parts that are only 3 letters long (eye hip arm leg ear toe jaw rib lip gum).

Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porc*uncula". It can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.

A wolfs howl does not echo.

White cats with blue eyes are more likely to be deaf.

There are no flags with the colour pink.

Spongebob Squarepants was originally a jellyfish, but he became a sponge when kids mailed the creator of Spongebob saying that they didn't like jellyfish because they sting.

Chimpanzees, monkeys, dogs, mice and a guinea pig have all traveled into space.

It would take about 3 years of n-blocked- pedaling to bike to the moon.

A waterfall in Hawaii sometimes goes up instead of down.

The biggest gingerbread house was decorated with 4,750 pounds of icing.

If you continued to grow as fast as an average baby, you'd eigh about 413,000 pounds by age 10.

You can see colorful autumn leaves from space.

Some clams live to be more than a hundred years old.

The average dream lasts about 20 minutes.

A storm on Neptune was as wide as the entire Earth.

A battery can be made out of a potato.

The first candy canes were made without stripes.

Chewing gum was banned in Singapore until 2004.

Some fish can walk on land.

The longest Monopoly game played in a bathtub lasted 99 hours.

Thomas Jefferson's recipe for vanilla ice cream is in the Library of Congress.

Some fish can change from female to male.

Scientists believe that Saturn's rings will eventually disappear.

Between 1912 and 1918, you could take your money to Washington to be washed and ironed.

No one knows what color dinosaurs were.

Sand melts at about 3,000 degrees F.

The dots on dice are called pips.

Ancient Egyptians believed that thoughts came from the heart, not the brain.

Human ears evolved from ancient fish gills.

Men get the hiccups more often than women do.

The average American eats about 5,000 bananas in a lifetime.

A rattlesnake's rattle is made of the same material as your fingernails.

Most pirates actually never buried their treasures.

Elephants purr!

Some sea stars break off their own arms when frightened.

There is cell phone reception on the top of Mount Everest!

New Zealand has more sheep than people.

You can fry an egg on a hot sidewalk when it reaches 158 degrees Fahrenheit.

An 11-year-old girl named the planet Pluto.

You can buy potato-flavored ice cream in Idaho.

A Florida man can knot 39 cherry stems with his tongue in 3 minutes.

Snakes cannot slither on glass.

Q is the only letter not found in a state name

Neil Armstrong left his space boots on the moon.

Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth.

Diet Coke floats in a pool as regular Coke sinks.

Michael Jordan shaves his head on Tuesdays and Fridays.

A recent study at Harvard has shown that eating chocolate can help you live longer.

91% of us lie regularly.

Head lice prefer to live on clean heads.

The average person grows up to 6 ft of nose hair.

There are around 45 billion fat cells in the average adult.

Humans are the only animals that sleep on their backs.

Females learn to talk earlier and learn to read quicker than males.

There are 18 doctors in the U.S named Dr. Doctor and one named Dr. Surgeon.

Albert Einstein never wore any socks.

It's unknown whether a watermelon is a fruit or a vegetable.

Space is a vacuum which means sound can't travel. Hence, "Nobody can hear you in space.

14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

The higher the income, the more likely an American man will cheat on his wife.

Milk is considered to be food.

Thanks to the electric light, the average American sleeps 1.5 hours less than Americans of 60 years ago.

If you go blind in one eye, you only lose 20% of your vision.

Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been struck by lightning.

Virginia extends farther west than West Virginia.

If you are clocked in a completely sealed room, you will die of carbon dioxide poisoning first before you will die of oxygen deprivation.

The most collect calls are made on Father's Day.

There are more nutrients in the cornflakes package itself than there are in the actual cornflakes.

If all the numbers were arranged in alphabetical order, eight would be the first number. Zero would be the last.

Cow is a Japanese brand of shaving cream.

Coffee, along with beer and peanut butter, is on the national list of the 10 most recognizable odors.

No matter how cold it gets, gasoline won't freeze. Below -180 degrees F, it just turns gummy.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with "rejoice.

The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45% when a person looks at something pleasing.

Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it was white, there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

Contrary to popular belief, you CANNOT get a cold from going out in the cold.

Studying right before a test actually makes you forget the answers more easily.

When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

It cost about 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

In the time it took you to read this 5 babies have been born.

A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee in the morning.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background -- when they say "walla-walla" it looks like they are actually talking.

Hershey kisses are called (kisses) because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The little paper sticking up from Hershey kisses is called a nigglywiggly.

Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings!

Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight!

Smell plays an important part in taste (70%!): If you eat an apple, onion and potato while pinching your nose, they will all taste the same!

If everyone in China stood on a chair and jumped off, it would throw the Earth out of orbit.

There are more English speakers in China than in the United States.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water, because when the body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

Sherlock Holmes never actually said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."

Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. "Typewriter" is the longest word that is typed with only the top keyboard. 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+all the numbers up to 100=5050.

More calories are wasted by sleeping than sitting and watching TV.

Children grow faster during spring.

You will weigh less when you weigh yourself when there is a full moon.

15% of hospital keyboards contain deadly bacteria.

Toilets flush in the tone of E Flat.

Refried beans are only fried once.

Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself.

People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people.

12% of left handed people die every year from using products made for right handed people.

The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

5% of Canadians don't know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem, but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

If you yelled for about 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would have produced enough heat energy to warm a cup of coffee.

If you farted for about 8 years, 3 months, and 19 days, you would have produced enough energy similar to that of an atomic bomb.

Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.

Women are more likely to pick up a penny then most men.

Cockroaches eat wood faster when listening to heavy metal music.

Bluebirds cannot see the color blue.

Doughnuts invented because the middle never was cooked all the way through, so they took the middle out.

You can't die by holding your breath, because you eventually pass out, then start breathing again while you're unconscious.

The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.

Some animals have to remind themselves to breathe.

A mule won't sink in quicksand but a donkey will.

Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.

Lemons contain more sugar than strawberries.

A rcenet sudty funod taht it deosn't meattr waht odrer the lerttes of a wrod are in, the olny imopraotnt tihng is taht the fsirt and lsat lerttes are in corrcet poistiosn.

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party? A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

Fish can drown.

A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber.

Lizards communicate by doing pushups.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred.

The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows.

The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually caused by nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

Eskimo ice cream is neither icy, nor creamy.

Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

40% of woman have hurled footwear at men.

The average bar of chocolate has eight insect legs in it.

Nearly all ancient civilizations, even those that were completely isolated from each other, share similar myths and stories about dragons and dragon-like creatures.

The first words ever spoken over a telephone were, "Mr. Watson -- come here -- I want to see you."

3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volts battery works on their tongue.

The second most known word in the world is Coca Cola.

Charles Chaplin once won third in a Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest.

25% of the world is vegetarian.

80% of statistics are made up on the spot.

The average person spends 30 years mad at a family member.

Australia is the only country that is also a continent.

If you divide the Great Pyramid's perimeter by two times it's height, you get pi to the fifteenth digit.

You can start a fire with ice.

To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.

The 29,249th digit of pi is a seven.

Families who turn of the television during meals tend to eat healthier.

Turkeys often look up at the sky during a rainstorm. Unfortunately some have been known to drown as a result.

Harvard University's original name was Cambridge. It only changed when John Harvard donated 400 books to the school.

Arnold Schonberg suffered from triskaidekaphobia, the fear of the number 13. He died 13 minutes from midnight on Friday the 13th.

The world's largest burrito weighted 4,217 lbs.

Vegetarians fart more, but their farts smell less.

85% of us will eat Spam this year.

Raindrops aren't actually teardrop shaped. They are actually rounded at the top and pointed on the bottom.

There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable.

22% of people leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.

KFC's slogan for "Finger Lickin' Good!" in China is "Eat your fingers off!

Stand silently in a corner on a crowded elevator, facing the wall. There is scientific proof that if you do this long enough, the other passengers will all turn and face the wall, too.

You burn calories when you tan.

Women are 37% more likely to go to a psychiatrist than men are.

You mostly breathe from only one nostril at a time!

99.9% of species to have ever arisen are now extinct.

No one knows exactly where Mozart is buried.

People with blue eyes are better able to see in the dark.

Research indicates that plants grow healthier when they are stroked.

People in parts of Western China put salt in their tea instead of sugar.

Men laugh longer, louder, and more often than women.

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.

At 300 lbs, William Howard Taft was the only Us President to get stuck in the White house bathtub.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

James Bond is also known as Mr. Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang.

Every year, about 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.

Elvis Presley got a C in his eighth grade music class.

Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, blondes to brunettes.

10% of us would switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.

Running in the rain actually gets you wetter than if you walk the same distance.

It has been proven that you can recover a sunken ship by stuffing it with ping-pong balls.

Microwaving grapes will make them catch fire.


Witty/funny lines that will definitely make you smile!

The Americans dicsovered that ballpoint pens don't work in outer space. They then started to invent a special pen that would work under water, in high altitudes, in extremely hot/cold temperatures, in outer space, EVERYWHERE. It took them decades and millions of money. The Russians just used a pencil.

An English professor wrote on the board, A woman without her man is nothing. She asked her students to put the correct punctuation in that sentence.
All the males wrote: A woman, without her man, is nothing.
All the females wrote: A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: "WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?

You don't have to be faster than the bear. You just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Whenever you want to criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

People these days have an M.D., a Ph.D., and some other degree. Too bad they don't have a J.O.B.

I was wondering why that red frisbee was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

There are only three people in the world, those who can count, and those who can't.

Always remember you're unique, just like EVERYONE else.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

Department of Redundancy Department.

If Harry Potter is such a powerful wizard, why can't he cure his own eyesight?

It's funny how I am a professional in giving oral speeches, but I can't even look the waiter in the eye when I ask for more ketchup.

Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

It must be really annoying to be that girl in "Just the Way You Are" (Bruno Mars).
Girl: Hon, how do I look?

Things to Pass Time

Can you jump and stay in the air for more than a second?

Can you wiggle your ears?

Can you touch your chin or nose with your tongue?

Can you gleek? (activate the salivary glands under your tongue and squirt saliva)

Can you stick your fist in your mouth?

Can you move your right hand in a clock wise motion and your left hand in a counter clock wise motion at the same time? (facing each other)

Inhale/exhale from both your nose and mouth at the same time.

Curl your tongue into a tube. If you can do that, try curling it in a clover.

Use both your index fingers to rotate in a clockwise direction. Then go faster. FASTER! Sooner or later both fingers will start going in the opposite direction.

Sit down on a chair. Lift your right leg and rotate in a clockwise direction. Then write the number six on a piece of paper while you're still spinning. Similarly: Sit down on a chair. Lift your left leg and rotate in an anti-clockwise direction. Then write the number eight on a piece of paper while you're spinning.

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show. See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message.

See how long you can hold a note.
Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can.

Try not to think about penguins.
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

Repeat the same word over and over again until it finally loses its meaning. Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

Watch TV, and repeat everything it says in a weird accent.
Hey, it passes time!

Burn things with a magnifying glass.
I suggest ants.

Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff.

Have a water gargling contest with a friend.
Put a glassful of water in your mouth and see how long you can keep gargling for. Award yourself extra points for loud and amusing gargling noises, and minus points if you laugh.

Stare at the back of someone's head until they finally turn around.
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?

Convince your friend they're a dog.
Hey, it's worth a try! xD

Think, "Will I get attacked by snails today?"
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Smile widely and creepily at anyone you meet.
Hi... nice to meet you...

Attempt to sing all your favorite songs an octave higher.
*sticks earplugs in ears* Begin.

Try not to touch the Chokato!!
It's so tempting. =(

Read WhenYoureBored!
Something tells me you've done this before... =/

Short Quiz

1. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
A) Open the fridge door, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This tests whether you do simple things in an overcomplicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the fridge door, put in the elephant, and close the door."?
Wrong answer.
Correct Answer: Open the fridge door, take the giraffe out, and put the elephant in.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.