-invalid_words- Once upon a midnight dreary,
while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
Tis some visitor,' I muttered, 'tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

CHAPTER ONE

I had a name then. I suppose I still do now, but it's meaningless and hollow. In fact, I have two names, one I keep close at heart as my "real" name, and one I use to introduce myself to strangers.

My "real" name, the secret one I tell only to those I trust, is Tsukii, or Kii. And the one I give to anyone who asks is Youkai. Youkai is a romanized version of Yokai, a Japanese term meaning a certain type of demon. And anyone who knows this may be stricken with fear, because I myself am somewhat of a demon. A demon, a ghost, a mutant. But I was not always so different.

You may be wondering what I mean when I say that "I had a name then." 'Then', of course, refers to my childhood. And the name I had was Ixia, a beautiful name for a beautiful faerie Kougra. I had elegant pink wings; silky purple fur; a long, golden tail...Oh, I wish I still looked like that. The crimson eyes that once looked so cute now hide behind a mask and terrorize the unfamiliar.

And who is to blame for my revolting change in appearance? I could blame myself, but self-pity is useless, and who among you would have not done the same as I?

----

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
Sir,' said I, 'or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

CHAPTER TWO

So, you have decided to continue reading? I can't say I blame you, for it is an interesting story, one that has played over and over in my head for far two long. And the best stories are not the fantasies dreamed up by aspiring writers, no, rather they are the ones with soul, the ones telling tales of the sufferings of those just like you or I.

But, dear reader, you must be tiring of my ramblings, so I will start the story. But I must warn you, I'm not always so good-tempered.

When I was a child, I was adored by everyone. They showered me with gifts, and praise, and love. A wonderful example of the horrid way that every living thing will worship beauty, no matter how hollow. But still, I want to go back to those days.

But while everyone was adoring me, they seemed to ignore my big brother, Zedoaria. He would get so jealous of the attention I'd recieve, he'd lash out. He became rebellious, hate-filled. He drank and smoked, among other things.

But he was my big brother, and I loved him. Despite his behavior, I wanted so much to be like him. He seemed so cool. I began following him around and imitating him. His friends all laughed and made fun of me. But I didn't care. I just wanted to be with Zed. I shoplifted, and drank, and any other horrid things they said would make me popular.

----

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, 'Lenore!
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, 'Lenore!
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
Tis the wind and nothing more!'

CHAPTER THREE