I remember little about my childhood. What I can remember aren't what I'd say my best experiences.. I remember my father.. Well, I remember how terrified I was of him. I can also remember my mother, she was one of those people who could always look on the bright side, always knew how to make you feel good, yet she never seemed happy herself, always frail, always weak. But back to my father, he was great at making people cry. He was good at hurting and manipulating those he 'loved'. I had stayed out of his way when I was a pup, and with good reason. I had always thought that maybe he made my mother cry alot, but I did not realise until I was at least thirteen why.
Everyone has their memories, good and bad. I try pushing this one to the back of my mind but it's like a broken record, it just keeps playing over and over even after five years. I won't give full details, as I don't see the need.. But all I saw was my father hitting my mother. I backed away terrified. I felt awful at the same time all I could hear was my father's voice growing louder and louder, screaming. And all I was doing was backing away in fright not running to defend my mother. What happened next was a blur; all I can remember is suddenly I took in what was happening and I saw my mother's beaten face. I got angry. Really angry. I remember I ran at him. Then eveything went black.

I awoke later and it was dark, I felt numb. As I got to my feet everything ached. My mother was standing over me, she was badly bruised limping and her nose, shoulder and cheek were bleeding. That night we ran. We ran far away from my father. I have never seen him since, and have never wanted to. For a few years my and I mother managed quite well. But as she was weak and frail she was extremely delicate. I'm not sure what caused her death. I miss her still, but at least I know she is at peace. It's a chunk of my life I'd rather cut out, but hey, there are those who suffer so much more than me.

A little while after I had been wandering, I met my first friend. Her name was Miintay, she was a pretty girl, we used to have so much fun, being only around fifteen we were still full of life and bounding about having a laugh, teasing the boys. That was probably our favourite game.." she sighed at the fond memories. "But the last I heard of her was when she left to pursue an artistic career in Paris.. Always was a creative soul, was my friend Mint. I'll always miss her.

Then along came Nyolun. Nyo was the first guy I talked to who didn't proclaim his love to me and start drooling. I could actually talk to him as a friend and not just for my looks.. Never got what they saw in me anyway. Mint was always far more beautiful. Nyo was always there to stick by me. He is a friend that is truly worth while keeping, probably the best I've ever had..

One day I came across a lovely guy.. He was so kind to me.. My life was looking up so much.. His name was Gelgamish.. Oh god. We went through so much together.. Whenever I needed someone to talk to he was there. After a while I started to think about him an awful lot.. I mean I've had crushes before.. But it was different. The night I told him he was so kind.. I can't blame him for not loving me.. He's so kind and smart and I'm so.. Shallow I suppose.. Well I guess that's how I appear to others.." she shrugged. "Guess I'm still a little heart broken, but hey what can you do?" she gave a weak smile.

It was about this time I found out I was diabetic. I'd been feeling off colour for a while but thought little of it. One evening Gel took me to a beautiful little town he knew of. We had fun there all day exploring, then in the evening there was a wonderful firework show. I don't remember much after that except waking up in hospital with Gel holding tight to my paw and looking worried." She looked down for a moment at this point, as if to catch a breath. "It was then I learnt of my.. condition. I remember then not being scared.. I think that was where my thing for Gel first started." She sighed sadly and looked down at the floor.

Subayshi (or Subay) is a friend that fell down on me one day. Literally, she lost her balence whilst climbing a tree O.o. It was weird but we just got on, she's so much fun to be around.. She is Nyo's girlfriend. They are very much in love, which is a beautiful thing to see. They suit each other so well" she smiled "It's a match made in heaven and I'm sure they will be together until they are old and grey" she grinned.

Later on I met Cho.. Her and Nyo were having some bother at the time.. Can't say I really got to know her so well.. I haven't heard from her for at least a few months.. I can't remember her so well. Guess she never really stuck into my memory..

After a while I started talking to my friends less and less. I didn't feel like intruding on Nyo and Subay as their relationship was just taking off. I had barely seen Gel at all in the months passed. It was then I found out my dear friend Mint had loved Paris so much that she was staying there.." she smiled at the fond memories of her friend. "So I figured, why not? I set out to see what else I could find.

After a month or so of wondering I found large town, the lights were bright and music poured from shops and it felt so at home. As if everyone knew everyone. I smiled softly to myself as I wondered around the town.

It was kinda funny how it happened really. I was thinking about Mint. And how much she would have loved it there. And low and behold I stumbled upon a tiny green gelert pup, she looked up at me with her beautiful, frightened little eyes and she just looked so alone. I stopped and talked to her softly "Where's your mother kid?" I asked her. She burst into tears all of a sudden. And overwhelming sensation went through me and I suddenly wanted to hug the little child and tell her I knew how it felt to be afraid. Instead I simply said "Shh.. Come and follow me little one. I'll get you something to eat. You'll be ok." I smiled down at her kindly, she took a few steps but I could tell she was weak. I lifted her up on my beck were she rested helplessly. It felt nice to help someone else for a change instead of visa versa.

I started looking after her. She said her name was Fall. She was such a pretty little thing. She said they had been separated when a pack of lupes had chased after them. I looked after her for a few months. I tried to act as a mother would. I would comfort her if she had a bad dream, I made sure she wasn't hungry. She gave me some meaning to my life for a while.. Something to do so I wasn't entirely useless.

I guess I got to attached to her. She was such a little character though. She kinda reminded me of myself in a way. And Mint. But one evening just as I turned round and saw a female figure, she looked just like an older version of Fall. I knew straight away who she was. She took a glance at me. Then her eyes settled on Fall. A sudden ecstatic smile broke out on both their faces as they ran toward each other in greeting. A stood there, not to sure what to do. I felt so happy for them both, but at the same time I felt a drop in my stomach, like a dark hole I was falling into. I knew I would have to leave Fall. I still smiled and smiled. At last Fall's mother turned to me.. She paused for a long while then softly asked me who I was. Fall told her mother that I had taken care of her. Fall's mother smiled at me kindly, and threw her arms round my neck. She whispered to me "Thank you, so much. I will never forget your kindness towards my dear little angel." I nodded. "It was no problem at all" I had said with a smile. She looked down hard at the ground again, she looked up. Although she was smiling her eyes were steely and hard, as if she was trying not to cry. "We all said our goodbyes.. I wish them both the best of luck, and hope, with time I might see little Fall again.. I know though that I will never forget them. Especially her.

After that, I started my journey home. I lost a lot of spirit I suppose. I started getting thinner. And soon after these fits started up.." she trailed off, now slightly uncomfortable about how much she was revealing. "But It's ok. I always manage myself somehow. And with my friends by my side, I hope I can become the girl I used to be when I was 17.."

Nyolun -She smiled softly "I hope I'm around for him forever. At first I couldn't beleive Nyo was dead. I just went numb. I just wouldn't work. Now normally when someone see's a ghost of thier best friend they would scream but.. I just knew it was him.. I just. Felt it was him. He is the closest thing to me and I wish he could be happy as possible. But somehow.. I think things will just be.. Normal..

Subayshi - "Subay is a great girl. She is full of life, funny, beautiful. She thinks up of the most.. Interesting things to do. She is one of those people that just always make you smile. I'm sure her and Nyo will always be together. I can't imagine a more perfect couple.

Memories

Miintay - "I miss Mint for the rest of my life, but at least I know she will always be in my memories.. And I hope she knows I will always have respect for her and miss her always.

Gelgamish - "I very much doubt I will ever see him again. He disappeared some time ago and no one has seen he since.." She sighed. "I'll always have my memories of him and he will always have a small piece of my heart set aside for him. I miss him a great deal. I wish I could talk to him one last time. But all I can do is wish him luck wherever he is..

I am very grateful for any art.. It will always be put up here with the artist linked to it.." she smiled.

She smiled. "Thank you so much Wings! You have made me look far prettier than I actually am!" she laughed.

She smiled again. "Oh my! Thankyou so much AGAIN Wings. Now that really IS much prettier than I really am. Your such an amazing artist!" she said her mouth open in awe of the beautiful picture.