Spalier got their homepage at Neopets.com

Spalier's
PET PEEVES

An inspection of the dark underbelly of Neopia

N e w !

Where did you get that guild layout? If you made it, could you make me one?
LOOKING FOR GUILD CO-OWNER! Must be able to code and do graphics and basically do all the stuff I can't do, so I can do the guild running part and feel important. And I want the layout to change weekly so we seem 'cool
Join My Guild! I have newbie packs comprised of junk items that will attract beggars who will fill my guild with meaningless spam for about 1 week. Join us! we're really active!
Hi! I just joined your guild. Do you have newbie packs?
When do I get my free petpet?
You have such nice pets. Can I have your Krawk?
I saw that draik trans you have in your gallery. Plz put it in ur shop for 80,000 np as that's all I have.

R o l e p l a y i n g

That green uni you have does NOT look like the pic of a draik you drew, no matter how much you claim it's custom!
Custom Design errors : "there's so many colours on that thing it looks like the rainbow pool vomited on it!"
Because you make believe that you have a royal boy uni, doesn't mean you actually HAVE one
That kougra you have, called something like: bogahaha4566666 will always be called that, regardless of how much you try to tell people his nickname is 'Rohane
There are way too many wild horses that drop their muzzles into the cool grass.
and my pet will be BLIND! OOOH I"M SO EMO!

B e g g i n g

People who have 'donate' in their signatures
Baby PB: 1k/600k donate? NO!
No matter how you try to word your sympathy, posting on the 'I'm leaving Neopets' threads is just thinly veiled begging
Trying to tell us you 'collect' codestones is on a hiding to nothing as well.
POUNDING: Green kougra with a bad name.
LOOKING: Plushie, maraquan, royal or any faerie or grey!

P o u n d e r s

People who continually post Pounding: Nothing.
Well of COURSE! you DON'T have a lab ray, don't try and make it sound good!
People who see a Plushie Zafara posted and rush to post several times saying: LOOKING: Plushie Zafara - pretending it has always been their dream pet
Or the ones that mail to be added to the wishlist so they can make it look like they've been listed for that pet.
People who ask for EVERY pet. Really, you only have a few spaces. Work out what your dream pets are first before you adopt everything and end up dumping it again in a few weeks and get yourself branded as a repounder.
People who post:
POUNDING: Green kougra with a bad name.
LOOKING: Plushie, maraquan, royal or any faerie or grey!
YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE! Karma favours those who do nice things for others.
Trying to find a non-zapping, painting home for your badly named blue lupe because it was named after your grandma's sister's pet budgie. Non-zapping?? If it means that much to you, WHY are you trying to rehome it ??
Asking for applications. It's attention seeking behaviour, even more ridiculous when we see you asking for apps for your badly named brown skeith. Just find it a nice home already - TALK to people!
Would YOU name your child bob334726456 ?
There are no such pets as : Chombeh, Petri, Garl, Xweetox etc
What they say:
I want to adopt your pet onto my Second Main account.
What it really means:
I have a main account and a spare which is where I want to put your pet, but you'll feel better if I tell you it's my main. Obviously I can't earn np there and the lack of trophies will make you suspicious... but really, it is my OTHER main account...

U n f a i r l y F r o z e n

YOU may convince yourself that those extra accounts belonged to your sister, cousin, daughter, husband etc - but YOU were the one logging in and doing the dailies
Creating an account for your 2yo is just an excuse. That account is YOURS. Here's how to tell. If it's your fingers on the keyboard - it's your account.

T r a d i n g

If you post that your trade is 'FREE' then don't reject offers that are 'too low'...
People who post their trade as 'Not For Trade'. Riiiight - expect a warning soon!
People who bid junk items against trades, hoping that the owner will make a mistake and accept
People who trade using a side account because their lack of ethics would embarass them if others knew who they were

B o a r d s

Page pwn!!!! Sorry. That got old a LONG time ago
"I'm leaving Neopets and I want to give away all my items".
Just leave already - don't let us stop you... or.. is really some attention you're wanting?
I'm sorry, my little brother / sister / cousin got into my account for a moment and typed that. Please don't report me!
"Come help me decide which of my pets to zap"..... Really. if you're that indecisive perhaps you need parental supervision...
I'd like to borrow the FQD for free. I am trustworthy and wouldn't risk losing my 2 mth account with blue quiggle.
"OK, I'm back from microwaving my kid's food. I lie, cheat and scam people to get pets and neopoints. I get into fights with 12 year olds on the boards. But I am a GOOD MOTHER!!!"
No!! You are NOT A GOOD MOTHER!! Your child will grow up emotionally sub-normal, turn to a life of crime and be a drain on society and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT! You are SO lucky there's not a test you have to pass to be a parent

C h a t s p e a k [warning - risk of burned eyes]

Lyk OMG!!!!!!111
Don't tell me that you type this way because it's 'shorter' Since when was typing 'meh' quicker than 'me' ?
If you use chatspeak you look equally stupid as the others using chatspeak
IF I TYPE LYK THIS JOO WILL ALL ANSWER ME GOOD!!
Very few words look better when ended with 'eh

G u i l d s

Spamming the board with random nonsense does not increase your post count
Trying to find your way round the rules just makes you look like an idiot
People who join guilds and immediately expect to borrow avatar items
Perhaps if you actually read some of the other posts, you might get to know people...

A v a t a r s

Lend to me so I can break the rules and get the avatar for my friend. The poor guy got scammed and hacked. By me of co.... Oh fudge! I confessed. Don't think I was supposed to do that. Oh well, lend to me so I can help my friend.
OMG I have the [insert-new-avatar-name] avatar! But I'm not showing it because I don't want to. And I'm not telling you how I got it either.
I'd like to borrow the FQD for free. I am trustworthy and wouldn't risk losing my 2 mth account with blue quiggle. I got lent the nova free and I gave it back.