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Hysterical Nonsense
est. March 30, 2010

Navigate: Home| Me|Neomail
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Updates


15/7/2010
Wow! Its been yonks since I last updated. I just haven't been really writing updates lately...
23/5/2010
Maybe you should check out Soroptimist, because guess what? We're in the top 5 for the miscellaneous category!
5/5/2010
Listed @Meepits are love.
24/4/2010
Mini Update: Entered Sotm @Unicoto
23/4/2010
Mini Update-I'm currently writing a neopian times article, so I'm not so much focused on the site.
17/4/2010
Sorry I don t update often, I'm getting a bit busy and my laptop has stuffed itself, so yeah...Anyway got listed @ Soroptimist Directory, and guess what...We're recomended!
12/4/2010
Added a couple of features to the site.
2/4/2010
Started the updates section. Also added the "About the Doctor" and the "You know you're obsessed with neopets when" sections.
Got rid of a button and added one. Added phobia section. ALSO SCORED 100% at Epitome Reviews!

30/3/2010
Started the site.

About Us

hello guest! Welcome to Hysterical Nonsense. We aim to stop boredom and spread laughter through-out neopia. I was inspired by this page. All of these facts were found on google by me or people who neomailed me. I hope you bookmark this page (ctrl/command+d) and visit again.
Thanks umbrehla for the second button

css by emma /~diamondsity

pixels/sign/counter by ambers pixels /~xIchliebe

About the Doctor

My name is Dr. Apples (or indi, whatever you call me) and I am your doctor for today. This page is my about me/scrapbook. I have been on neo for about 1 and a half years so far. I own the lab ray and have one pet and one that's been painted 3 times (Aileearna). I have owned pretty much every type of page you can think of, but this one has been my favourite. I am normally found on the boards or trying to restock.

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Thank you!






Report Card

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Average Score: 83.4%

Awards

My Other Sites



Affiliations


neomail blackrabbit636 to apply.

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Button By Sweetness2290

Contributors

Names in bold have contributed 5+ facts/jokes/riddles and are gold contributors.
laquick, spikelover_65, kicho79, makcool, cloudyski, prettyaintajob, frogfrog109, little_nikki96, americangirl876876, pandipandabear, dhullu, _neosugar_
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Awesome Screenie Sites











Funny Sites

click it. I dare you.

He's awfully hungry... are you sure you want to click this?!

Random Icons











Neo-Images

These images were created by tnt. If anybody has a problem/thinks they are inappropriate please neomail me and I will remove them immediately.






Hello guest it seems you've come done with boredom. I'm afraid there is also only two cures.I'm assuming you don't want laser surgery, then? It just happens that the other cure is right here! For the low price of 4000np free, this page will cure it!

You know you're obsessed with neopets when...

You spell cow "kau" instead.

You spell Asia "Aisha".

You call money neopoints.

You call eggs neggs.

You think all brightly coloured eggs are worth millions and are going to hatch into a pet dragon.

When somebody asks for a paintbrush in art you yell, "NOOB!".

You think the government is called "tnt".

You call frogs "Nimmos".

When you lose something you blame the pant devil.

You ask somebody to screenie you instead of taking a picture.

When ever something weird is going on, you think it is Sloth's new plan to dominate.

You call the moon "Kreludor".

When you try and "customise" your real life pets.

When you call bargains at the shops "snipes".

When you say "neomail me" instead of "email me

When you see something funny happen and try to press "Print Screen" in your head.

You call your friends on other sites "neofriends"

When you call all soft toys or cuddly items 'plushies'.

Contribute?

Did you know?

All facts found from users or on the internet.
Did you know your hair grows faster in the morning than at any other time of day?

Did you know Walt Disney, the creator of Mickey Mouse, was afraid of mice?

Did you know 11% of people are left handed?

Did you know Left handed people live slightly shorter lives than right handed people?

Did you know most lipsticks contain fish scales?

Did you know no two corn flakes look the same?

Did you know lemons contain more sugar than strawberries?

Did you know the longest recorded flight of a chicken was 13 seconds?

Did you know the least used letter in the alphabet is Q?

Did you know 'Go!' is the shortest complete sentence?

Did you know the names of all continents both start and end with the same letter?

Did you know if you try to say the alphabet without moving your lips or tongue every letter will sound the same?

Did you know dreamt is the only word that ends in mt?

Did you know cats spend 66% of their life asleep?

Did you know stewardesses is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand?

Did you know that typewriter is the longest word spelt with just the top row of keys?

Did you know that you burn more calories eating celery than it contains (the more you eat the thinner you become)?

Did you know the only continent with no active volcanoes is Australia (yay!)?

Did you know sound travels almost 5 times faster underwater than in air?

Did you know the sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English alphabet?

Did you know all the blinking in one day equates to having your eyes closed for 30 minutes?

Did you know frogs can't swallow with their eyes open?

Did you know Harry Potter is distant cousins with Voldemort?

Did you know McDonald's salads contain up to 60% more fat than their burgers?

Did you know rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants?

Did you know a duck's quack doesn't echo?(myth busters busted this)

Did you know it is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky?

Did you know horses can't vomit?

Did you know on average 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year?

Did you know it is physically impossible for you to lick your elbow?

Did you know you cant lick all of your teeth individually?

Did you know most people just tried too and looked stupid, even though they succeeded?

Did you know most of these facts are rubbish?

Did you know 85% of percentages are made up?

Did you know that in the USA six tubs of Cool Whip are sold every second?

Contribute?

RandomFacts

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs have only about ten.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

February 1965 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Cat urine glows under a black light. (gross, but true)

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child is 2-6 years of age.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 years old.

If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will come up heads approximately 4950 times because the heads picture weighs more than the tails side, so it ends up on the bottom more often.

Hydroxydeoxycorticosterones is the longest anagram in the English language.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Underground is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und"

255 babys are born in a minute

The average human will shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime.

The average person loses about 80-100 hairs a day.

There are more than 10,000 varieties of tomatoes.

Approximately one billion snails are served in restaurants annually.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!

Consuming chocolate was once considered a sin during the 16th and 17th century.

The only "real" food that U.S. Astronauts are allowed to take into space is pecan nuts.

If the US government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969 make it illegal for U. S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Approximately 50% of the world are vegetarians (I'm one!)

All the swans in England are property of the Queen.

Anteaters prefer termites to ants.

Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed... or is that paws?!

Dolphins sleep with one eye open!

Every year, kids in North America spend close to half a billion dollars on chewing gum.

For every human in the world, there is approximately one chicken

The Basenji is the only type of dog that doesn't bark

A goldfish's attention span is only three seconds

The First penny had the motto "Mind Your Own Business

An elephant sleeps only 2 hours a day

If you doubled a penny every day for 30 days, you'd have $5,368,709.1

A whale's heart beats about one time every six seconds

Frogs never drink. The longest one-syllable word is "screeched.

Frowning burns more calories than smiling.

Seals sleep only one and a half minutes at a time.

A hummingbird is the only bird that can't fly backwards.

A hummingbird's heart beats fourteen hundred times a minute.

A hummingbird weighs less than penny.

Chewing gum while chopping onions will keep your from crying.

A bee has 5 eyes.

At birth, a dalmatian is always pure white. (Anyone who has seen 101 dalmatians should know that. lol)

The average smell weighs 760 nanograms

Before 1687, clocks were only made with an hour hand.

Mosquitoes are attracted to people who have just eaten bananas.

The city of LA has 3x more automobiles than people.

The largest fish is the whale shark - it can be over 50ft long and weigh over 2 tons.

A jellyfish is 95% water.

A duck can't walk without bobbing its head.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" was written by Mozart when he was 5.

Swimming pools in the US contain enough water to cover San Fransisco.

The most sensitive parts of the body are the mouth and the fingertips.

The average woman consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime. (Ew. I'm glad I don't wear any.)

Pigs get sunburn.

The average person makes 1,140 phone calls each year.

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Smelling apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight.

You share your birthday with at least a million other people.

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.

Q" is the only letter not appearing in the name of a US State.

No word in the English language rhymes with "Month.

Flamingos turn pink from eating shrimp.

The first bike was called a "hobbyhorse.

On average, a person will spend 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime.

The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps.

Slugs have 4 noses.

Jellyfish have no heart, no lungs, and no brain, yet they are considered 'living animals'?

Laughter boosts the immune system

Lollipop' is the longest word that can be typed with only the right hand.

The Old English word for 'sneeze' is 'fneosan.

Slinkys were invented by an airplane mechanic; he was playing with engine parts and realized the possible secondary use of one of the springs.

Slinkys were invented by an airplane mechanic; he was playing with engine parts and realized the possible secondary use of one of the springs.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

There are more chickens than humans in the world

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.

Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren't added to it.

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.

s against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.

Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue.

women blibk nearly twice as much as men.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

All Cats and Some dogs cannot taste sugar.

Butter melts at 88 degrees F

A lion's mane protects them in battle

Lion's are the only cats with tufts at the end of their tails

A bumblebee bat weighs less than a penny

Slugs have four noses

Lightning strikes 8 million times a day

The average roll of toilet paper is 114.8 feet long

A 10-gallon hat holds less than a gallon of water

The banana is the most consumed fruit in the world.

You can buy square watermelons in Japan.

Scotland is known as the Land of Cakes.

Left handed people, on average, have higher IQ's

More people, each year, die from vending machines, then from shark attacks

Contribute?

Riddles

Neomail me for the answers.

All of these were found by blackrabbit636 either by google or from her teachers

1) A rooster lays an egg on the middle of a roof, when there is no wind. Which side does the egg land?

2) How do you put a elephant in a refrigerator?

3) How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

4) All the animals are at a meeting, which animal isn't there?

5) You must cross a river, invested by crocodiles, how do you do it?

6) What dries as it gets wet?

7) What has many holes, but still holds water?

8) You have a barrel of water, and you need to measure out just one gallon. How do you do this if you only have a three-gallon container and a five-gallon container?

9) Two boys and a man need to cross a river. They can only use the canoe. It will hold only the man OR the two boys' weight. How can they all get across safely?

Contribute?

Things to do

82 Things to do at Wallmart

82 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling themand stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervalsthroughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can getto join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all thespray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "Ithink we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see whathappens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all offand turn the volumes to "10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seenyou in so long!…" etc. See if they play along to avoidembarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, askyourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelery department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you'retaking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying aboutfive feet away. Continue to do this until they leave thedepartment.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire storeas your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, lookmesmerised and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'llonly invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" fromthe other aisles.

24. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run aroundsaying,"…I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

25. TP as much of the store as possible.

26. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

27. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"upside down.

28. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

29. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hiredemployees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have anyShnerples here?"

30. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scalebattlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

31. Take bets on the battle described above.

32. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

33. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from"Mission: Impossible.

34. Try on underwear over top of your clothes.

35. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

36. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

37. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me toyour Twinkies?"

38. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

39. Two words: "Marco Polo."

40. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the petfood aisle, etc.

41. "Re-Alphabetise" the CD's in Electronics.

42. When someone steps away from their cart to look atsomething, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

43 Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

44. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's thosevoices again!"

45. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

46. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines andrelax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explainthat you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a littleumbrella in it.

47. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of themannequins.

48. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

49. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, runbetween them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

50. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirrorwhile you pick your nose.

51. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

52. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's andwomen's signs on the doors of the rest rooms

53. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browsethrough, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scarethem into believing that the clothes are talking to them

54. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check peopleout.

55. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store andbegin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

56. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair ofshoes, not puting one pair back. Take the paper from theboxes and throw it in various aisles.

57. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle ofsuper strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Leanin and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in frontof your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering theperfume!!"

58. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowlymove your head to the right, then swing your head to the leftas if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to theground, then start spinning around in circles stomping likecrazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that wasthe biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen,Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.

59. Repeat with a can of bug spray.

60. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

61. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your aprissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." topeople who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

62. Spend all your money riding on those little rides fortoddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretendthat your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes overwanting to use it, start barking at them untilthey run away crying.

63. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behindcustomers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of yourfriend.

64. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

65. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

66. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

67. Walk up to the customer service and when they say"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a QuarterPounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order offrench fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say"Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to yousay "Oh, This is because I like neopets isn't it? I'd expect this fromCaldors, but not Walmart. People who like neopets are just likeeveryone else your know. You digust me" Then walk awaymumbling to yourself.

68. When your alone, have loud conversations with your"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southernperson, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year oldgirl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They shouldsound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jollygood time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok taStawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.

69. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your armsand legs around like your having some kind of massiveseizure.

70. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through thestore.

71 Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start toleave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as yourwalking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms togo off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Thenquickly look around you to see who's watching and run awayas fast as your can.

72. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head whilesinging the circus song.

73. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, juststay mesmerized.

74. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices inmy head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap yourhands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming"NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NONO NO NO!!!!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in theeyes, and Calmly say "I…will start…a fire…" The pull out azippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don'tlight the zippo, just hold it closed.

75. Light a match under a spinkler.

76. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. Iwarned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go getmy shot gun". Then walk away.

78. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your amannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long aspossible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check yourwatch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't getpaid enough to do this"

79. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone

. 80. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seenmy mommy?"

81. Actually Buy Something.

82. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.
List Found Off-Site. Had to edit and remove a lot of things to make it neo-appropriate.

Things to do when your bored

Act like a spy / secret agent for the day

Act like you just met your friend for the first time

Act profound

Add some strawberries to your ice cream

Adopt strange mannerisms

Alphabetize the food in your fridge

Announce your candidacy for President.

Annoy total strangers

Apply for a unicorn hunting license

Appreciate everything

Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)

Arrest yourself

Ask a question nobody can answer

Ask embarrassing questions

Ask for seconds

Ask people how to pronounce their name

Ask people if they want to see your "belly button treasure

Ask people if they've seen your head

Ask stupid questions.

Ask why

At the bottom of escalators yell "MY SHOELACE!

Attract lightning

Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize

Baby oil the floor

Backstroke your way to class

Bake the world's biggest doughnut hole

Balance a pencil on your nose

Balance a pillow on your head

Balance your checkbook

Bark at people in the grocery store

Bark at your dog

Bark at your parents

Be a leaf and leave

Be a loan shark

Be a lone shark

Be a monk...for a day

Be a no-name

Be a non-being

Be a REALLY cautious driver

Be a side affect.

Be a smart blonde

Be a spy

Be a square root.

Be a superstar

Be amazing

Be blue

Be blunt

Be cold

Be cute

Be envious

Be halfway

Be immobile

Be in the wrong place at the right time.

Be jealous

Be lazy

Be legendary

Be lord of the flies

Be negative

Be nervous

Be neutral

Be one of those people that yell "SHH!" (Even though they ADD to the noise)

Be positive

Be really annoying to everybody

Be sharp

Be smart

Be somebody else

Be someone special

Be stupid for a day

Be thankful for clocks

Be unique, just like everyone else

Beam yourself up

Become a band nerd

Become a go-to kinda man

Become a hermit on your front lawn (works best if you live on a main road!)

Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them around with a camera

Become a party animal

Become a pirate

Become a tic-tac addict

Become an expert on something nobody cares about

Befriend flies

Behold the truth

Bite every other nail

Bite your pinkie

Blast hip-hop music through town

Blink a lot

Blow bubbles

Blow bubbles with bubble gum

Blow spit bubbles

Blow up a balloon until it pops

Boil ice cream

Boldly go where no man has gone before

Bother a sibling, profusely

Bounce a potato

Braid your dog's hair

Break into a friend's house and clean it

Break some rules

Bring a Furby to school

Bring dog treats to the park and meet 25 new dogs

Bronze your sister

Brush your teeth

Buff your cat

Build a house out of toothpicks

Build a house with ice cubes

Build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles

Build a pyramid

Build a tree house in the middle of a field

Burp the Happy Birthday song

Bury your father's car

Buy something from an infomercial

Call a wrong number and talk to whoever answers.

Call an insurance company and try to insure your stuffed animal.

Call toll free numbers and make friends with the operators

Calmly have a nervous breakdown

Can you out-shame these people?

Carpet your ceiling

Carry a briefcase with you and offer people phony legal advice

Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks

Carve your crushes' initials in a marshmallow

Catch a cold

Catch a falling star

Challenge the neighbor kid to duel

Change your hand writing style

Change your mind

Change your name...daily

Chase your friend or family member around the sofa

Check out the weather forecast for other parts of the world.

Check under chairs for chewing gum

Check your email from a DOS command prompt

Chew ice

Chew on a lollipop stick

Chew on pen caps

Chew on your arm until someone notices.

Chew your lip

Churn some butter.

Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit

Clean and polish your belly button

Clean your room (*gasp*)

Climb the walls

Clone yourself

Collect hotel keys

Complain about your nose hurting

Conceive a brand new language.

Confess to a crime that you didn't commit.

Confess to a crime...that didn't happen

Construct a shrine for the queen of the spud peoples

Construct tiny makeshift parachutes for hamsters

Convert various currencies to other various currencies here

Count all the stars in the sky

Count to a 100,000

Count your teeth with your tongue

Crack your knuckles

Crank up some music

Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.

Create random equations

Cross your toes

Crumble

Crumple

Crush pop cans with croquet mallets

Cut out photos and paste them on Popsicle sticks and have a puppet show

Cut your fingernails/toenails

Dance 'til you drop

Dare to be stupid

Day dream

Debate politics with a pet




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It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
Heads Up! You're about to leave Neopia!

You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
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It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
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