M a y l i v i n g o n b e a f e a r ?
U n f o r t u n a t e l y , that I s n ' t what m o s t think |

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...You are walking steadily through knee-high grasses at midnight. The gentle wind caresses your face softly, blowing you back. That flat plains before you seem to stretch on forever. You look up dizzyingly at the sky- it is beautiful and dark- sparkling lightly with countless stars surrounding a pure moon. You walk heavily on.

Steadily, sleep overtakes you almost completely even while moving. You vision becomes hazy, fading, darkening... Everything around you seems to turn into a dream...

Out of nowhere in the midst of the uncertain, a blue lupess seems to gradually appear- or become visible in the plains. She is laying on the ground, head up towards the stars...

The lupess's face expresses emotions of love and hate, serenity and depression. She has beautiful features, from sleek blue fur to long, slender legs. One single gold ring is on her left forepaw, looking as if choking her ankle but she pays no heed to the pain.

The breeze becomes stronger instantly, its howl ringing in your ears for a moment before stopping again. The lupess suddenly turns to look straight at you, not smiling, but her emerald eyes were gentle. "Hello.. " The gold ring flashed an evil feeling

Do you enjoy sadness?

About Roqshaina

Most others see me as an isolated one. Some naïve see me as strange and not to be helped. I wander throughout the wilderness of this world, traveling miles, but not seeing its beauty. Only its relations to my past.

Name: Roqshaina
Alias: Shaina
Gender: Female
Age: immortal years; currently 97 years

Coat color: sapphire blue
Eye color: emerald green
Markings: purple tear-streak down both cheeks
Weight: 134 lbs.
Height: 3'4" on all fours
Accessories: golden ring around left front paw
Personality: Gentle, friendly; Calm and serene; not playful or talkative and likes spending time alone
Skills: Able to sprint through snow with delicate liquid grace, not really touching all the way down; sprint through dense forest without sound or touching others; swimmer
Enjoys: alone; the moon and stars; thinking; blue flowers
Despises: those who are quick to judge; large groups; jealousy; sadness which envelopes her life
Love: True love isn't possible any longer
Family: long dead

Her Past, the Curse

It was so l o n g ago but remains in my m I n d l I k e s t o n e .

I was only so young, a young adult living in our wolf pack high in the peaceable mountains. My best friend, a handsome male with broad shoulders and an ebony coat- Blackwind. We grew up together, playing tag since newborns. Since our family was still small, we were the o n l y t w o c u b s born at the same time- my other siblings died at birth because of my fragile mother. Blackwind was the son of the alpha male, a huge lupe with the same dark fur as he. Deep in my secret thoughts, I sensed and knew that Blackwind has always wanted to impress his father in some way. But the alpha never took notice of his tactics, and looked down on him- by far.

It was our first and last hunt for the rest of our lives when tragedy struck. We were tracking a mother kau with her calf. The dangers from this kau exceed no end. But food was scarce. She was alone. I could still feel now the way my paws fell so shallow in the deep snow before rising as swift as a falcon. My h a p p I n e s s didn't know what would come only a few moments later.

The mother kau suddenly whirled on us, facing the pack with four legs apart and horns down. Normally at this point, we would retreat to find another game. the alpha stood in the front of the line, staring the kau in the eyes, but not moving forward.

I now still have n o I d e a w h a t g o t into Blackwind. Perhaps he wanted to show his father that he can take down this dangerous situation alone. Or maybe he was just starving, I never found out. My friend leapt and charged. In front of all the wolves, in front of the his father. And jumped high right at the kau.

She whirled, struck her hooves out, broke Blackwind's skull, a load crack rung in the air, he fell down onto the snow, instantly dead.

For days, months, years afterward I cried. None could express the connection I had with Blackwind. No one could ever understand, no matter they think they seriously do or not. Every day I would eat n o t h I n g or little. Slowly all my elders died, my mother died, the alpha died. But I still lived on, tears running down my cheeks like a silent creek every hour every day.

On one of these days, the curse. What I did to deserve this�? Everything before me w e n t b l a c k , as if I've gone blind. Tears still streaked my face, as if permanent, seeming to bruise my skin and fur color. A high-pitched whistle sounded in my head, and next pain seared across my left ankle, causing me to scream. I looked down at it and saw a shining thick g o l d e n r I n g strapped tightly around, and a chain connecting it to the solid ground�

I saw nothing but black and the gold ring on my forepaw. The next thing I knew, flashing red words of an unknown language were engraving themselves into the ground before me. As they c a r v e d across the blackness, another surge of p a I n rushed across my legs, buckling them tight against the ground of black. It seemed to take forever for the words to finish writing. I was fearful, yet almost having a dark anxiety to know what it read:

This is you.
You will never live.
You will never die.
You will leave.
You will grieve.
You will curse and be cursed.
You are the cause of this seal in your dead love.

I didn't seem to understand what this message meant. Yet knowing its clear orders. In an instant, everything was back to normal. Birds chirping, clouds in the sky. But the p a I n in my left ankle was still there. When I looked down- the golden ring hasn't disappeared.

The message told me to leave the pack. I instinctively did without thought. None will miss me. I've only caused my pack grievances�

And since then I have wandered. For so long, but I didn't keep track. Throughout my life I've heard many voices echoing faintly in the back of my mind- B l a c k w I n d ' s voice. His voice mutters faintly, but sounds gentle- giving assurances�. Every night, the pure moon is my only companion. Maybe accompanied by singing crickets and the faithful stars. In my life, I've met many who have come close to me- but because of my nature they never stay for long�

The Curses Effects

I will live forever. I will feel pain� pain of every horror that has been seen as if it were y e s t e r d a y. Everywhere I go, my mood will effect those around me.

But I don't know what I am doing on this Earth any longer� there is no point in living. I haven't any loved ones to care about, nor any to despise. Each month, when the moon is high in the sky- round and as pure as a pup's mind- the r I n g will tighten, pulling me to the ground�

Another young loner

There has recently been a unique young Kookith soaring the skies above me. Every once in awhile I would spot him perching in a tree nearby, wherever I have roamed to. How can one so young become a loner so soon? It pains the heart to think of such� but knowing that there is someone out there in the world that needs a companion gives warmth. I do not know the little fellow well though� His occasional light singing seems to closer our bond.

LUPE Adoptables

Customs: closed for now
Trades: closed again (too hard to keep track)
Do not use for Beauty Contest, alter, steal, or copy.

Customs count: 40

Sample: blue


















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This page is very old, written in 2005 when Fiona was in 6th grade. But she's too lazy to rewrite the entire page, so just keep that in mind.
Counter started March 31, 2007