WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM??
Ahem. I am Odd-Job Bob Follies, a humble Yurble trying to make a living in the world.
Follies Flashbacks
I grew up in Meridell, a nice enough place when it wasn't being torn apart by wars. When I was no longer a cub, I bought some land and started growing vegetables and herbs, as was expected of me. Things went well at first, but then my crops were attacked by literally thousands of Slorgs. No matter how much Slorg-B-Gone I used, they just kept multiplying and coming back. I said to myself "FARMING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!" I sold my farm and left Meridell, never wanting to see another Slorg again.
The Lost Desert seemed like an ideal destination for someone trying to avoid those slimy creatures, so that was where I went. I arrived at just the right time, as there was an enormous scroll repository being constructed and jobs were at a premium. My natural charisma and uncanny ability to hit moving objects with blunt instruments landed me the job of head foreman. It was hard, thankless work, especially with all of the pesky Neopets scurrying about putting things where they didn't belong and trying to move support blocks. I was glad when the repository had finally been hollowed out (who builds a solid pyramid? honestly!) and furnished. Unfortunately, that also meant that I was out of a job.
Because I had been such a great foreman, I was not jobless for long. I was quickly assigned to be the head chef in the repository's cafeteria. However, I was not well-paid or provided with ample supplies to prepare much of anything. It was quite boring, really. I painted my toenails to pass the time. I got a few odd stares for doing that, but I didn't really care. They weren't the ones cooped up in the kitchen with nothing to do. The higher-ups didn't see things that way, though, so I soon found myself looking for work again. I had tired of the arid desert and its disappearing cities, so I went searching for a new place to live.
Fortunately, not long after that, the ancient land of Altador was rediscovered. It reminded me of my old homeland Meridell, but there was something clean and optimistic in the air of Altador. There didn't seem to be too many people around, though. A distant cousin of mine set me up with a job as the janitor for the Hall of Heroes. I was grateful to him for that until I saw how much work needed to be done in there. What a mess! As it turned out, my cleaning skills helped to save the kingdom from the Darkest Faerie. Who would have expected a hall full of old statues to be part of a magic spell? After excitement like that, I don't think I'll ever leave Altador again. My thirst for adventure has been quenched.
Follies Family
The Follies family is quite large, so it's difficult to go anywhere in Neopia and not run into a relative.
Farmer Tom Follies is my ninth cousin. He runs the Old Follies Farm, which has been in the family for more generations than anyone cares to remember. Tom has a bit of an obsession with windmills - he even named his pet Altachuck after them! He also wrote a book called The Way Windmills Work. That's a little strange, if you ask me, but then, that branch of the family has always been a bit....off.
Caretaker Jim Follies, as you can tell by his rugged good looks, is a much closer relation. He's my second cousin. Jim is the caretaker of the hundreds of graveyards in the Haunted Woods. It was a pretty nice gig until that business in Neovia a while back. I think he's still re-burying corpses!
The youngest member of my family is Tantrum, my pet Vaeolus. I took him in after Finneus and half of Neopia nursed him back to health. He's a bit on the cranky side too and there's been a bit of singed fur between us, but he's still my best friend.
Follies Fame
Over the years, I have earned widespread recognition for my hard work and skill with blunt weaponry.
There is this rather fetching avatar, which you can get yourself by going here. I don't much appreciate the sentiment of it, however. That old coot Finneus made me take an anger management course, so I don't get that angry anymore.
I have starred as the contestant on Better Than You twice. The first time was October 6, 2005, back when I was in the Lost Desert. The game was Word Pyramid, which I had gotten quite good at, thanks to all of the block-moving in the scroll repository. When I appeared on the show a second time on May 4, 2006, I decided to get some long-deserved revenge on those obnoxious Slorgs and challenged players to beat me at Attack of the Slorgs.
I was also featured in the 35th Neopian random contest. Participants came up with some amusing hobbies for me to do in my spare time. I prefer some of them more than others, for obvious reasons.
Those lousy Slorgs made life miserable for me in the Hall of Heroes and some joker thought it would be funny to feature my pain in the 811th Caption Contest. I was not amused.
The press loves me - I have been featured in the Neopian Times on a number of occasions.
Issue 215: Editorial
Issue 265: Editorial
Issue 270: Interview with me, Tom, and Jim
Issue 273: Comic relating a true incident
Issue 277: Comic that was COMPLETELY MADE UP!
Sometime after I moved to Altador, I came across a Neopian who wanted to take me home with her. She confessed to having been a fan of mine ever since she first got whacked with my cudgel in the scroll repository. How could I resist such an offer from someone who carried such a deep understanding of me? Thus, my private life as a "pet" with Renna began. It wasn't until it was too late that she mentioned that she also had a passion for slorgs. After lengthy negotiations that involved the use of my cudgel, I was able to persuade Renna to move the shrine she had erected in my honor as far away from the slorgs as possible. It was only then that I could truly appreciate her handiwork. She had gathered a collection of almost all of the items in Neopia dedicated to me, as well as adding in a few things I found useful.
