Notice: Certain classified information regarding O07's activities as a "spy" has been moved to a secure data facility hosted by Eirina in eastern Shukumei.

     Most spies would relish a chance to drop their covers, release their secrets, and tell the whole world about their most exciting mission. Unfortunately, that would really defeat the point of being a spy. That didn't stop me, though. Just days after Bernard Aievoli's empire fell, I arranged a press conference and went to great lengths to make sure every disseminator of news in the area would be represented there. I spent hours rehearsing. When the time came, I didn't just tell an exciting story. I told it perfectly. The reporters could hardly wait for the end before they started asking questions.
     "Did you take down the entire organization single handedly?"
     "I wouldn't say that. I only took out their their leader, their major financiers, their headquarters, and their regional bases. The police still have plenty of work to do. As for doing it alone, that's not really accurate either. It's true that nobody worked with me intentionally, but I wouldn't be here without a few key assets whom I tricked into helping me out. Theodore Clayborne still hasn't realized how invaluable he was to the operation. And I have millions of law-abiding citizens to thank for their invaluable support." I checked off a few boxes on my mental list. I had succeeded in making Aievoli's organization look more fragile than it actually was, so it would lose any remaining clients and be driven out of business by more legitimate competitors. I had implied that I wasn't working with support and backup. If Aievoli thought I pulled the whole op, he wouldn't investigate anyone else. I had shifted responsibility for the cleanup to the police. I had ensured that Clayborne, who actually had little or nothing to do with the operation, would be investigated very closely.
     "What kind of training did you get before taking on Aievoli?"
     "There's agency training, of course, but I've gotten most of my training independently by learning from experts. I've been doing Karate since pre-school, and I now know five and a half other martial arts. I speak four languages fluently and I just started to learn French." Letting them think I didn't know French would help on my next mission. I also failed to mention my extensive training in acting. Spies have to be top notch liars, but people pretending to be spies have to be even better.
     "Do you think the remnants of Aievoli's organization will try to get revenge?"
     "Those remnants are in pretty bad shape. Now that the police are keeping an eye out for them, they'll have to lie low for a while. I'm confident that they won't even start thinking about attacking me for at least a month, when they've run out of meaningful things to do. When I get some time in a couple of weeks, though, I'll definitely prepare to defend myself. Better safe than sorry." By pretending I wasn't ready, I ensured that I would be attacked within the next two weeks while my enemies were most vulnerable and I was best protected. I also tried to subtly imply that revenge on me was the goal. If they thought of me specifically as their enemy, they wouldn't go after my whole agency. They were a lot in a lot better shape than I had implied, and they could still do serious damage.
     "Aievoli was only taken yesterday. Why isn't this information still classified?"
     "The agency is big on secrets. It's their business, so I don't blame them. Now that Aievoli is behind bars, though, I believe people are safest knowing the truth." If they thought I was sharing it without the agency's consent, they would believe it more. Some of them would probably go to the agency and find out that it was very classified. This would call my motives into question, and if they started guessing at why I shared my story, they would stop trying to decide if it was actually true. I was pretty sure that the public would like me enough for giving them a sensational story with lots of bad guys, heroics, close calls, and karate that they wouldn't mind my being a little careless with the red tape, and I knew for a fact that the agency wouldn't do anything about it. They had hired me to go to the press conference and share that "classified" information.
     Collectively, secret agents can shred a nefarious empire to pieces or delicately disintegrate a conspiracy, but only rarely does a single spy manage more than a small fraction of a large project. An agent would have to be impossibly skilled to conduct even half of a first level operation. She would also have to be impossibly incompetent to walk into a press conference within the week and announce, "I'm Agent O07 and I was responsible for planning and executing the whole thing." It would be inconceivable that someone that adept would also be that careless. Thanks to Hollywood spies like James Bond, though, people are willing to believe not only that I ruined Aievoli's organization alone, but also that seventeen other confederacies, including both international syndicates and a couple of thoroughly insane investors with a surprisingly plausible plan to overthrow Europe, fell at my hands.
     Ideally, no spy or agency has to publicly affiliate itself with any operations. When that doesn't work out, the spies who participated in the operation can be exposed, lose their covers, and become vulnerable to their new enemies. It's better to try to find one person to pin the operation on than to let every single spy who was actually involved become a liability. I am that person.
     I wasn't originally hired to pretend to be a super spy. I wasn't even hired at first. Kaira Whitten was. The agency had seen her fighting off ninja hordes in a low-budget action movie and thought she could play a reasonably convincing secret agent for an afternoon. She was eager to take the job when a couple of smartly dressed secret agents came calling, but when she found out that it did not actually involve saving the world and didn't pay especially well, she threw the job back at her agent and it ended up with me. I was Kaira's stunt double and I was the one who actually beat the ninjas.
     My first job was to help catch a mole. I would deliver nine different reports about how I had failed a mission miserably to nine different people inside the agency, and if one of the reports got out, the agency would know who was responsible. The guilty party left the country a couple of days later, though, and none of the reports ever resurfaced.
     Most of my jobs were even less exciting. I spent most of my time memorizing scripts about long, uneventful stakeouts and surveillance sessions to put investigative journalists to sleep. The higher ups seemed delighted with my ability to drive away reporters, but, since they showed no inclination to give me less tedious work, I made my job more interesting by embellishing my stories. Sometimes I added action and intrigues. Sometimes I nudged reporters in the right or wrong direction. Making a person believe something was much harder than simply saying it was true, though. I used my acting training, planned ahead, learned to improvise, and, above all, practiced. I became so good at lying that I could convince a polygraph I was its mother.
     As I learned to deliver lies, I learned to spot them. It didn't take long to realize that most of the people I spoke with weren't actually journalists. Some of them forgot to record interviews. Some failed to employ standard English grammar. Some were too well informed, too aware of their surroundings, too slow at typing, or too fast at running. If I wasn't sure, I just waited patiently for a blunder. I kept tabs on everyone suspicious, making inferences based on their questions and responses and watching for definite inconsistencies.
     Eventually the agency realized some of the reporters were spying on them. The information I had became valuable, and I traded it for an unofficial promotion. I became the agency poster girl, a super spy to spin things the right way, spread misinformation where necessary, and make the agency look spectacular.

Identities

I've claimed to have taken dozens of covers. These are my notes on the aliases I supposedly used in my latest operation.

Kara Sheets Occupation Secretary Language English, some Spanish Accent New England Finances In debt Intellect Dull Character Gullible, corruptible, gossiper Influence Any east coast secretary Known to Kozak Industries, A&R Security Firm Hazards Address and references on resume are fake Operations 1992VA938-0COL 1996MA921-1BRK 2011DC443-2EPC Appearance Black pants with bright shirt, nail polish, and lipstick, hair up Sherry Hwang Occupation Karate Instructor Language Mandarin, Englislh Accent Chinese Finances Modest Intellect Average Character Respectable, taciturn Influence Dozens of karate students, teachers, and masters Hazards Opponents unlikeley to underestimate skills Mandarin isn't fluent enough Operations 2008MN483-8SVL 2010OH363-8SVL 2011NH156-6GRD 2011DC443-2EPC Appearance No makeup, sensible clothes

Vivian Eaves Occupation Archaeologist, {classified} Language English, some Greek and Latin Accent Canadian Finances University funding, {classified} Intellect Above average Character Center of attention, story teller Influence {Classified}, certain spies Known to Maximilian the {classified}, George Walter the British spy Hazards No official ties to a University, {classified} Operations 2004ITLY25004MFA 2011DC443-2EPC Appearance Jeans and a tank top, dirty nails, unkempt dreads Pearl Zhang Occupation {Classified} Artist Language English, Mandarin Accent California Finances Rich, careful accounting, offshore accounts Intellect Sharp Character Devious, cold, quick, pushy Influence Marks, organized unfriendliness in southwestern US Known to {Classified}, {classified}, "Insurance" Organization of San Fransisco Hazards Unfriendly activity attracts police attention, suspcious bank accounts Operations 2006CA466-2SCM 2007CA255-5SCH 2009NY997-6ITL 2011DC443-2EPC Appearance Black designer clothing, high heels, eyeliner

Oh, what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive,
But if at first you don't succeed,
Lie, lie again, and soon you'll see
Practice perjures perfectly

Alter Egos

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