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The following was originally found on the the User Lookup of _hawkmon_
It was unfortunately cleared when Neopets recoded things on the site,
but with many thanks to Garmfay, this great story lives on!!
I *loved* reading this, and I hope that you do too! *grin*



THE REVENGE OF THE ONION_

Dear Humanoid Animal-Thing,

I am the onion in your fridge. Yeah, you ought ta remember me?
On Monday, you picked me out personally, from a pile of other onions_
at the supermarket. You picked up and then rejected three of my friends,
for bruises, dents and mushy bits; then you picked me up....took a good,
long look at me...smiled and put me in your cart. Right there in your
shopping cart, is where it started...discrimination, prejudice, snobbery.

The slab of marbled cheddar cursed at me; its voice muffled
through the shrink-wrap. An avocado sniffed in contempt, then rolled
away and hid behind a box of Shredded Wheat. I was instantly
unpopular. But we onions know all along that we will be treated that
way. My Mom warned me. But as long as we were together in our own
safe place...in the fields, in the harvest baskets, even in the bin
at the supermarket...we presented a united front. Then you came
along, you twerp. You singled me out and took me to your home, plunking
me down into the egg-tray of your fridge. I no longer had the company
of my own kind. But it still wasn't too bad. The eggs didn't seem
to mind me living in their space, and the other foods were polite,
most of them were, anyhow.

Then, you did it. You took me out of the
fridge, cut a big honking slice off me (I watched you dice it for
your spaghetti sauce)...then stuck me back on the egg-tray
with no cling wrap or anything! Now, I'm BARE!! Not to mention, COLD!!
The rest of the foods all hate me because I smell, too. Now the cheese
smells like me. The celery smells like me. My scent has saturated
the skin on your pudding...and the pudding HATES me for it!
Pudding never FORGIVES! NEVER! Everyone knows that! The potatoes and I
have simply gone to war. They release chemicals that make me rot faster.
Oh yeah, well, I SHOWED them! I released chemicals that make THEM
rot faster. HA! We're all in trouble here - we're all doomed, and
it's all YOUR fault. BUT I'LL GET MY REVENGE!!

You've forgotten about me, I can tell...You should have put me in the vegetable
crisper, but NO, you were too lazy to bend over, so you stuck me
here on the fridge door, and thanks to the biological warfare of
those stupid potatoes, I'm ROTTING here! I'm gonna turn into a soggy
lump of ONION skin and STINKY juice...I'll have my revenge
against you, AND your snobby avocados! And YOU are the one who'll have
to CLEAN UP THE MESS!! So THERE! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....
---------------------

~The Onion_




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