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Soapbox (Reema)
My Quest For Edna: Part Four
I shivered. We were finally in Terror Mountain. I realized that Peter probably was freezing. I looked down at my warm winter coat gratefully. I was telling my aunt (Bex) I wouldn't need it, but she probably snuck it into my bag when I wasn't looking. Bex snuck in another coat as well, in case something happened to the first. I looked over at Peter and saw that he was shivering as well. "Hey Peter. My aunt packed another coat for me. Would you like it?" Peter looked at me gratefully. "Thank you so much for your hospitality. If it's not a problem, I would love it. I'm freezing." I smiled and handed my other coat to Peter. "Alright, it says on the list we need to find … something called a … winter blossom." "Really? I came to Terror Mountain and someone ventured into the Snowager's cave and found one. Unfortunately, he said that they were very rare and anywhere you will EVER find them is in the Snowager's cave.
I can see the Snowager's cave from here!" I said enthusiastically. We had been walking for a couple of hours and I was happy to see that close to the cave was a small village. We started walking towards it. A kind looking acara greeted us. "Welcome. Hello Peter. Come to stay with your friend?" She gave us a warm smile. "Yeah Annie. Her name is Umazi by the way. We are planning to venture out into the Snowager's cave." "The Snowager's cave! Well, you must be a brave one, Umazi. You two look freezing. Why don't you come in? It's time for dinner." Annie gestured us towards the door. Before Annie closed the door she said, "You should go meet the leader and tell her about everything. She would be delighted to see you Peter. She will prepare you for your dangerous quest, and will give you the same room you used to live in, Peter." With one last smile she closed the door. "Well, I guess we're off to the leader then." I retorted, annoyed by the hold up.
COME IN!" said a booming voice. Peter and I entered the room to find it occupied by a small and fragile looking faerie. The Negg Faerie. "Yes?" said a kinder and much smaller voice. "Hello. My name is Umazi and this is…" "Peter! How wonderful to see you!" "Hi ma'am." "So what are you here for?" "We are here to get something from the Snowager's cave." Her eyes widened. "What is it that you seek?" "A winter blossom." "Ah, of course, but children you look tired and cold. You shall have to go tomorrow after a good night's rest and something warm to eat. Now go to your room and get freshened up. Dinner will begin at 7. Peter will now go where you will be eating." She gave a smile to Peter and handed him a key. "Now off you go."
This is nice. It's very cozy." "I knew you'd love it. In fact, I remember I left a winter blossom in here. I wager it's long gone by now …" "Let's go get freshened up." "Alright. Dinner begins at 7 and it's 6:30, so we don't have much time. Hurry." 15 minutes later I was feeling great but starving. I walked over to Peter. "So where's the food going to be served?" Peter grinned. "You're starving too? Follow me!" We walked to some big doors. "It's marvelous inside. You'll love it, really, REALLY love it."
I was smiling as I walked through the doors, but I wouldn't be smiling for long after what I saw behind those doors because it would be the biggest surprise of my life.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Proofread by: Alyssa 06/15/08
Gamer's Corner (Victoria)
Hasee Bounce
Yay! The newspaper is back! For those of you who joined after the last newspaper issue, July I believe, I have been writing GAMER'S CORNER. This is where I, Victoria, babble on about one of my favorite games, how to play it well, and how to get an avatar if it has one. A bit about me: I have been in Neo.Anxious since 2007, and I love it here. I adopt all my pets and my oldest pet is Raindrop, my ixi painted by FFQ.
One of my ultimate all time favorite games is Hasee Bounce! I am talking about the old one, not the new Ultimate Hasee Bounce. The OLD one. You play as Woogi, the orange one, and Jimmi, the purple one. When you click the mouse whichever one is on the tree branch jumps down, and the momentum pushes the other up in to the air. So it works like this, Woogi jumps down (hopefully collecting some doughnutfruits) and hits the seesaw, and then Jimmi is pushed up into the air (also hopefully collecting some doughnutfruits) and onto the branch. You also have to avoid piles of dung. Easy right?
The object of this game is to collect doughnutfruit. Yellow is one point and their values go up from there. Another important thing to know is if you collect doughnutfruit shaped like letters, you get two points and two seconds. If you spell out HASEE you get twenty seconds; if you spell out HASEE in all the same color you get forty seconds. Also, the number of doughnutfruit you go through is what the point value of the doughnutfruit is multiplied by. For example, pretend when Woogi jumped down he went through three yellow doughnutfruit. The first one was worth one point (one times one), the second was worth two points (two times one), and the third was worth three points (three times one). This is important because it works the same way with higher value doughnutfruits. So now pretend Jimmi is on his way back up and goes through a sponge doughnutfruit, normally worth fifteen points, but you get sixty points (four times fifteen). Cool huh?
This game has no avatar. Sorry! But I can give you a challenge to beat my highest score. You don't get anything, just bragging rights. My highest score is 338, using the cheat code, DOUGHNUTFRUIT. It resets the time. That is helpful; it kind of explains how people get 700 points. Oh and look for the orange shirt guy, the programmer; he is worth a whopping forty-two points!
Victoria
Proofread by Cyn 3/9/2009
Listen to Lola
Is it true that the Shop Wizard tires out if you use it too much? ~Super Stormehh
Yes, it can. If you use the Shop Wizard too much in one hour, it will ban you. But this is on an hourly basis so when the next hour begins you can once again search. The Super Shop Wizard is different though. SSW is available with Neopets Premium only and tires out a lot faster. SSW bans also end until the next hour. They depend on the items you search for. If I search for a codestone a lot, then it'll tire pretty fast.
What's hotter: Tyrannia or the Lost Desert? ~ Silly Stormehh
Well young Storm, that really depends. Most Neopians would say the Lost Desert, but in some areas Tyrannia can be hotter. Overall, if you are looking for a Sun Tan take a one way trip to the Lost Desert! (Although, Kiyo gets pretty warm in the summer time as well...)
You can get the actual "weather" of the Lost Desert, here: http://www.neopets.com/weather.phtml?world=2. Not Tyrannia, though. D:What is the best way to make friends in neo.anxious? ~Jumpin Jay
Neo.Anxious is all about family, so it's not that hard. If you're new, just introduce yourself! A lot of people will pounce on you, so make sure to ask for neofriend requests after chatting. Basically, just be friendly and chat it up! It's easy to make friends in NA. Good luck and remember, I'm always looking for a new chew toy-I mean buddy.
Why is it so difficult to draw a good circle free-handed?~ Circular Storm
Because otherwise the compass-making companies wouldn't have such good sales. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! -is dragged away to loony shack-
Why are Faerie Acaras' heads so big?~Curious Storm
TNT wanted to save money on body parts, and since heads were cheap that day, they decided to buy the biggest head and smallest body. It's hard to save money these days... -pokes ads-
Why is Steph so fascinated by chainsaws?~ Steph Crazed Stormehh
STORM WRITE YOUR OWN EDI- good question. When Steph was a child, she was shown many pictures and models of chainsaws. One day her mom decided to give her a chainsaw….and that's why she is who she is. The End. –bows-
Did Lola get a new violin? If so, describe it. ~Fascinated Musician
Yes! Thanks for keeping up with times Lola….I mean FM. I got a Lisle Violin one, Model 106. It's shiny and has a great tone! I had to give up my black one but I like this one a lot better…don't tell my old one I said that.
Why are some of the guild members so obsessed with Coldplay? ~Curious Coldplay Half Fan
Their music is the leader of my life…… -meep meep meep-
AND THAT'S ALL FOR THIS MONTH! NEXT MONTH WE'LL HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST NAMED STORMEHH! HOPEFULLY LOLA'LL BE OUT OF HER TRANCE! TOODLES!
Proofread by Cyn 3/9/2009
Depression (Stormehh)
So, the Help board (or, for the purpose of this article, the "HC", which stands for "Help Chat"). What's it all about? What's the point of it? And perhaps most importantly, do you ever want to waste a short part of your life, though it feels so much longer, desperately seeking the answer to a simple enough question but having your ego and self-confidence shattered by an array of unneeded comments before your board is deleted after an inevitable argument begins on it?
No, this article is not biased.
What is the HC for?" I don't hear you asking. Well, let's begin with TNT's description of it. "Need Neopets help? If you've got a question, this is the place to get answers." I am a former "HC Reg", a somewhat worshipping term given to (often) mindless drones who spend many too many an hour selflessly answering questions on various topics while their sanity is steadily stripped away from them. As a release from this tiresome, thankless process, the HC Regs typically post unneeded sarcastic comments on a newbie's board relinquishing him or her of any remaining self-esteem.
I think now would be a good time to take a trip to the HC. Genuinely, the first three topics that conveniently catch my eye are the following. I predicted what these boards were about, before venturing into them to see whether the HC is really as dull and predictable as it already seems.
GIMME THE... – This is the first topic which caught my eye, largely due to the obnoxious use of caps lock, lack of smileys and word choice. Seemingly, this topic was written by an impatient user (for lack of a better word). I predicted that this topic would either be a "begging" one – where a user "begs", though I think demand is a more suitable word – for an item. Alternatively, the user could just be annoyingly asking for a link. Either way, the board would erupt into some sort of petty argument, in which the all-knowing HC Reg is provoked by the user, providing us with some entertainment.
I was wrong, to a degree. The topic-creator was asking for a link, but there was no drama. He was even very polite and thanked his helper. Has the HC changed since I was last there? So far, I've scored 0 out of 3. Let's head on to the next board.
WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME SING???" – Now it's time for something that the HC does best: spam. (The Newbie board is excluded, due to the fact that either everything or nothing on it is spam. I'm going for the latter.) With this being a spam board, the spammer, being much more intelligent than he (judging by the username) is given credit for, will probably argue with HC Regs, along with their followers and wannabes. I predicted that it would only take a page or so for the topic to stray away from its original point of discussion.
Success, I was right! This was mindless spam without any meaning. Though uncreative as far as spam goes, it was made more entertaining by the hordes of newbies reminding the spammer that what she (I must admit, I did get that wrong) was doing was against the rules. Nice enough, until they exploded after reading more mindless spam, virtually screaming "REPORTED1!!11!!!1!", seeming not to notice how snobbishly hilarious they were being. However, my favourite comment on the board was "spammers are SO yesterday."
You'll either find that funny or you won't.
%à%à%à%à %à %¨%¨& { H E L P } Ê ! o o 8 π ∑ g í o - i n v a l i d _ c h a r a c t e r s -ˇ˝ ± ¡ - i n v a l i d _ c h a r a c t e r s -ˇ˝ - i n v a l i d _ c h a r a c t e r s -ˇ˝ ¡ ± g - i n v a l i d _ c h a r a c t e r s -ˇ˝ – With the score deadlocked at 1-1, I went for a difficult topic, to hopefully prove my point. Why is it a difficult board? It had good enough intentions, but came out badly. Predicting how the HCers would react was fairly difficult. After much deliberation, I decided that, in typical form, they'd neglect to read the first post and see this topic as spam, flaming the poor girl (I believed) that made the topic.
I was right. The topic-creator was criticised for her topic title. The first set of posters neglected to read her first post, in which she asked for the link to some useful petpages. Instead, they chose to remind her that her topic title had come out incorrectly (after all, it's not like she'd look at her own topic, is it?), with an array of unneeded smileys. If you're really interested, then it was largely O_o, -_- and :K.
So, that's a score of two to one in my favour. What does this mean? It means that in the good year that I've been away from the HC, it has not changed at all. There are helpers and there are polite users around, but they're largely outweighed by the colossal amount of hollow HC regs, followers and wannabes, who don't do their job as "helpers" on the board. If you'd still be willing to look for help on this board, as opposed to the kinder, friendlier guild board, then I can only frown and wonder how you tolerate the egos and personalities that lie in these topics. However, can we really blame the HCers? They're only trying to fit in, after all.
Of course we can.
Author's note: Like in any good investigative journalism, the facts have been entirely distorted to show and enhance my point of view. If you have any complaints or criticisms of my work, the biased way in which it has been presented, or how depressing it is, please, keep them to yourself. ;)
Proofread by Cyn 3/9/2009
Guildy Dirt (Loc)
The History of Loc
The history of Loc is a wonderful and magical story. Loc was not born, he was imagined. You see, Loc is not a real person; he is an interdimensional being born of thought. You know how sometimes you have a crazy thought and you think "Oh, that's stupid and absurd," and throw it away? Well all those thoughts fell away and formed the stupid and absurd Loc you know and love. Anyway, Loc was conceived around 500 years ago in da Vinci's trash can, as you can imagine many absurd ideas were thrown in there. Loc was just a baby and would remain so for quite a while, as he only aged as these ideas were thrown away, and people were very smart in the 15th to 19th centuries. However in the 20th century television was invented and these ideas were very commonplace and Loc began to age very quickly, almost like a normal person. Sometimes these stupid and absurd ideas were even carried out. This made Loc age very quickly, until one day he suddenly died. In his place was a new Loc, newly born with all the knowledge of the last Loc but with a new body. This is the Loc you know. He was much more crazy and psychotic than before, because he had been based on all the stupid Sitcoms that never made it on T.V. (i.e. That 80's Show, The Ben Stiller Show, and pretty much everything anyone from Friends went on after it was over.)
Now this Loc was conceived in a box on a street corner, as this is where the previous Loc was living, and was raised by hobos. He traveled all over the world and everywhere he went was plunged into war. In fact Loc, was the reason for World War I (WWII was just the bad sequel, a result of the based of bad sitcoms thing). When he returned from his world tour he sat around in Los Angeles forcing perfectly good actors into terrible movies, like Samuel Jackson in Snakes on a Plane and Christopher Walken in Balls of Fury. But now he has brought his chaos to Neo.Anxious and will probably remain there for a while.
Loc
Proofread by Cyn 3/9/2009
Soapbox (Cyn)
The Tale of Bungalow Bill: A Fable by Cyn
In a small, one-story cottage in Neopia Central, there lived a yellow Skeith with blue eyes named Bill. Bill lived with his Skeith mother, Beatrice, and his Skeith father, Barry. It was a bright morning in September. On this particular morning, Bill was preparing for his first day of Neoschool. Mum packed his lunch, and Dad gave him a pep talk. "No matter what," Dad said, "always remember the golden rule." Bill wasn't particularly sure what Dad meant by this, but he boarded the bus with his familiar sense of self-righteousness, not bothered by his father's comments.
On that same bus sat a Techo named Steven. Steven lived in a three-story home a few streets over from Bill. Steven lived with his Techo father, Scott, and his Techo mother, Susan. Steven and Bill had never met before this bus ride. Steven and Bill did not sit together. They barely noticed each other.
Bill and Steven did not notice each other until fourth period. As fate would have it, they both had Kreludan Astronomy together. Bill was sketching pictures of Dr. Sloth, while Steven was busy copying down notes. Steven was comparably smarter than Bill. Bill, being the sketchy Skeith he was, noticed this. "Hey," he whispered to Steven, "you should met me copy those notes."
Steven glared at Bill and flicked his tail back and forth. "No," he answered.
Come on," Bill said as he pushed his desk closer to Steven's.
No." Steven scooted his desk away.
The charade continued until the teacher chastised them for not paying attention. Steven finally gave in. With a huff, he said, "Fine. You can come to my house today and copy these notes." Bill was pleased with himself, and as the bell rang, he followed Steven out of the classroom.
What's your name?" Bill asked.
Steven," the Techo said in a huff.
I'm Bill. Where do you live? I bet it's not as nice as my house."
Steven hurried down the hallway towards his friends, eager to get away from Bill. "You'll find out later."
Bill quickened his step and followed Steven to his friends. "I'm Bill!" He introduced himself to Steven's friends. Scyn the Aisha and Jamie the Poogle smiled warily at Bill. Zack the Draik and Stef the Krawk just looked at Bill.
Wow," said Stef the Krawk, "it's time to go. Let's go, Steven." The group walked away from Bill, who was scowling.
Stupid Restricted pets… thinking they're so special… I'm ten times more special than they are," Bill muttered under his breath.
After school let out, Bill waited for Steven in front of the buses. They silently boarded the bus together. Bill quietly snickered to himself about how much better than Steven he probably was. Steven didn't question his snickering; he knew Bill's character. Bill was the type of pet who always thought he was better than others.
The second stop was at Steven's house. The two Neopets descended from the bus. Bill sniffed at Steven's house. "It's okay," he said, folding his arms. "Don't you think you could use a new coat of paint or something?" Bill had to pick at the details. Steven's house was remarkable, with three stories, and so welcoming. Even Bill knew this, but he would never admit it.
No," Steven said, giving Bill an odd look. "Just come on already. My room is on the top floor."
On the way up, Bill criticized everything about Steven's house. One floorboard was rickety, the stairs were too wide, the paint was too fresh, the wallpaper was too bright, it smelled too much like baked goods: Steven could see through Bill's comments and know that he was a jealous little Skeith. Steven was a Techo wise beyond his years. He knew how to break Bill of his attitude.
Be careful, and don't go in that room," Steven warned Bill of the last door on the left.
Why? What's in it?" Bill craned his neck to try and examine the room. The door was open a crack.
That is my father's workroom," Steven said. "He works in the Petpet Protection League, helping to preserve certain rare petpets."
Bill was now even more jealous – it was his dream to be in the PPL. "That's stupid!" Bill erupted. "Why would he want to do that?"
It's a very helpful thing to do," said Steven. "He helped preserve Candychans, and even gave one to me for Christmas."
That's dumb!" Bill yelled, turning red in the face. "This house is dumb! Your house is not nearly as good as mine!"
Steven tilted his head. Jackpot. "And what is your house like?"
It's a cottage," Bill said smugly. "Big. But quaint. Only the best Skeiths live in cottages like mine."
You live in a bungalow," Steven pointed out. "Those aren't very nice at all. Those are dumb. SO dumb. You're so dumb. Everything your family does is dumb."
Bill went pale. "You're wrong."
Steven smiled at him. "Haven't you ever heard of the golden rule?"
Bill shuffled his feet modestly. "The what?"
The golden rule: 'Treat others how you want to be treated.' It didn't feel very nice for me to say mean things about you, your house, and your family, did it?" Steven asked, patting Bill on the shoulder.
Bill shook his head. "I haven't heard of that."
That's okay. You should remember it from now on," Steven said.
The moral of this story is: Treat others how you want to be treated.
Proofread by Cyn 3/10/09
Soapbox (Natalie)
Finding Sam
Two neopets were walking across cobbled streets, arguing. With every step they seemed to take, the argument escalated and their voices rose. By the time the road ended, and they were only a few feet from a large, dense, dark mass of a forest, they stopped.
~"Go in, Eliza. I dare you."
The small Xweetok was supremely annoyed with her older brother at this point. There was no way, no way she would go into that wretched place. She had heard all the stories. The neopets that went into the Haunted Woods rarely came out. The monsters in there were so unimaginably ghastly that merely looking at them could kill instantly. As it was, living in Neovia was the closest you could get to the deepest, darkest parts of the woods, and only barring the windows and doors every night kept her family safe.
In fact, her brother Samuel was just about the only neopet who went into it and survived. It was his paid work to, every day, enter the Woods to retrieve herbs for the town healers, because all of them would rather cut off a limb then go into it.
I'm not going. And that's final." Eliza smoothed down her dress, huffed, and ran back into the town. Sam ran after her.
Aw, come on. It'll be perfectly safe. Think of all the times I've been in there!"
Yeah. You only. Remember Mr. Reems?" Both fell silent, shivering.
He didn't know how to go in, though. It needs a certain—"
Their conversation was cut short by one of their neighbors, who, mumbling about one thing or another, lead the siblings inside. Eliza walked in, ate quickly, and got ready for bed, thinking about her brother. Either he was crazy, or he really did have a certain . . . something that kept him safe.
-----
The next morning, Eliza woke with the sun so she could do her and Sam's chores. He didn't do his chores because, apparently, they were the "bane of his existence", and he would much rather be out exploring woods anyway. At the moment, though, he was nowhere to be found.
Sam? Samuel?" Eliza's voice bounced throughout the room. There was no answer. "Odd," she thought. "He's usually up by now." She checked his room, the kitchen, the cellar, even braved the basement, but she was forced to come to the conclusion that he wasn't in the house. Of course, there were chores to do, and she couldn't waste time. He was probably in the Woods, anyway, for a morning stroll. Why anyone would want to do that, she didn't know. Shrugging, she went downstairs and started to clean.
Cleaning and housekeeping were odd passions of Eliza. They both took her mind off of anything she happened to be worrying about (she was worrying about Sam quite a lot lately), and she could just scrub it away with her rags and mops. She relished the time it took, loved the sparkly surface left when she was done, and especially liked the approving look on people's faces as they entered her home. By the midday, she had finished, collapsing onto the floor, satisfied. Unfortunately, she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong. She ran outside, checked the letterbox to see if there was anything from her parents (who were abroad), and promptly ran into her neighbor. "Jed?"
Hmn?" The green yurble grumbled goodnaturedly.
Have you seen Sam around lately?" Eliza asked.
No, actually. I 'aven't seen Sam since yesterday, now that I think about it." Jed scratched his beard thoughtfully. "But I think I know where he is. The Woods, you know. He always seems to be over near them. His eyes narrowed, then brightened. Try Miss Meredith, she'll know where he went."
Okay." Eliza sighed. Of course she would know where Sam was, she was the one who employed him. The Apothecary was in desperate need of help because, as everyone suspected, the family who ran it was a bit . . . cracked. She slipped out of her gate and ran to Miss Meredith's house, which was right at the edge of the Haunted Woods. Once again, Sam had taken her (whether it was indirectly or directly) to the Woods. She shivered, as always, when she passed, but not before stopping to inspect the ground. She thought she saw something moving there, but she must have been mistaken. "It's nothing, Eliza,", Eliza said to herself crossly. But she did see something else that caught her eye. Lying under a few gnarled tree roots was a piece of cloth. Eliza looked closer. She gasped.
It was a torn-off, ragged piece of Sam's shirt.
Proofread by Cyn 3/21/09
So They Say (Kiyo)
LIVE AT THE ANXIOUS STUDIO, IT'S THE ONE, THE ONLY, GYKIYO. O:
Hello and welcome to our first interview for the N.A Newspaper! Kiyo's FIRST EVER interview with... STORMEHH. :O
As I am typing this, my brother is doing some weird prance and now I've forgotten what was I going to do…
Please stand-by as we fix some technical difficulties.
AND WE'RE BACK! ;D We had a chat with our beloved Stormehh. Here's how it went...
Hello Stormehh! As you might've known, I am the writer for the So They Say of NA's newspaper. So, LET'S FIRE THEM QUESTIONS!
What is your name?
Stormehhzzle Aufidius NATORZ , often referred to as "Stormehh", "Mehh", "Sto" and "NATORZ ". A common mistake is to misspell my name as "Stormeh" or "Stromehh". I also go by many nicknames, such as Stormehh Mercurehh, Captain Stormehh, Lord Nator, The Stormehhnator , Fidi and Mehhzzle.
How old are you in dog years?
I hate dogs, so no idea. =P
RANDOM QUESTION TIIIME! You were stuck in a deserted island and you can take 3 items with you. What would it be?
A runway, an aeroplane (with pilot) and plane fuel. I could try and sell it to anyone who passes by.
That's 4 items. :K BUT MOVING ON! Do you like pancakes?
Yes, I had 6 on Pancake Day. Wow. o.o
What rhymes with w?
That depends. If it's a lower case "w" then it's something blunt like "Duh". However, an upper case "W" then it'd be something incredibly sappy and pathetic like "I love you".
Panda or Pocky? (muahaha)
Uh... Panda?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So that they didn't get chloroformed by Cyn. ;D
Does Area 51 exist?
YO MOMMA LIVES THERE~ (This is the first time I've ever heard him crack a Yo Momma joke xD!)
On to more serious stuffles; HOW DO YOU COOK RICE?!
You go to a restaurant and order it from the menu.
Do you know how to swim/ride a bike/type 20 words in one minute?
Yes.
Explain why Cyn rocks.
I wouldn't be glorified by you in the newspaper without her. (: (This took me 5 minutes to figure it out. @_@)
Explain why lambs rock.
WELL I KNOW YOU LIKE THEM :*
Why did you choose 'storm' as a theme for your usernames?
It was cool at the time.
What's the best thing about neo.anxious?
I'm the leader. B)
Re-answer that question. ;p
B) I'm the leader.
Make a rap about neo.anxious. :*
You have it screenied already.
:o!
Proofread by Cyn 3/25/09
Remortum (Zach)
Why hello. If you are reading this you have found your way to the wonderful article written by ZACH . *applause* If you are not reading this then you should be. *throws a penguin at you* Anyways. This is Zach's first article back in the newspaper. You should all be excited. For my first couple of articles I have chosen a topic I have heard being talked about throughout our guild we have here. This topic is very important to me, and to the development and history of our guild. Sitting duck members. Now this is a word that I have basically made up. It is quite a simple word. It means members of a private guild that are not doing anything and appear to not even be alive but still exist as members even though they most likely should of been kicked out by now. You may ask who these members are? Well I plan on going through in a series of articles and telling you all about these special members. What made them so amazing that they get to sit in there pretty positions in N.A. and never get kicked out for inactivity? Who are they? Where are they now? And why in the world is Stormehh spelled with two "h's?" I will attempt to answer these questions in my article.
First: a small overview. Neo.anxious was created around three years ago by a girl named Addie. It was an amazing little guild and was known for its strict literacy and member sweeps in which all members not posting in over a week's time were deleted. However there are a select few almost immune to this deletion. As of today there are about 6 or 7 of these so-called sitting ducks. All of which for one reason or another have deserved an everlasting recognition on the neo.anxious member list. Some people comment that since there are these members the member cap should be raised to allow for 107 members instead of 100 members. Well the answer to that is....that....um....100 is such a pretty number @_@.
Now for the first of my sitting duck profiles I am going to recognize the most "prominent" duck. *quack*
fadedlove_ otherwise known as Ashley. Ashley has been in the guild since 7/17/08 yet has not posted once. Few members know who she is. For those of us who were lucky enough to have known her, we shall never forget her dedication, and overall appreciation of neo.anxious. Ashley joined at the beginning of November year 2007. At first she was quiet and seen occasionally on the boards. However within a few months she became known as the girl with the faerie avatar and the red and orange font. Take how active Stormehh is....and Stephanie....and...multiply it by 100 bagillion. *watches everyone take out calculators* That number is the closest representation of Ashley. As one could probably guess, after a few months of being a member almost everyone knew her. She was nice, funny, and had a very calming aura. Soon neo.anxious went into an activities election. Ashley blew out the competition and became an activities committee member. With this new power she became even more active, if that was possible, and went on to always be updating and chatting and working and chatting and lurking and advertising......and....*head spins and falls off*
Now you may ask how someone this active and important vanished. The details are not known, and if they are, they are kept hidden. One day, she just stopped coming on the boards. Her once-bustling neomail inbox froze and her cheery disposition and red and orange font faded away just like in her username.
However, she lives on in the heart of neo.anxious. Without her hard work we would have never been able to pick up the pieces of our first deletions. She redefined the word "dedication" and will forever be in our hearts. Still don't believe me? Well I quote this from her A/C application:
I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
-Helen Keller
This quote inspired me to apply for the A/C.
If there is one member that the rest of neo.anxious should look up to and hope to become like it is Ashley. Forever remembered and never forgotten.
Proofread by Cyn 3/20/09
Guildy Dirt (Trenn)
After a few months of leadership, Stormehh has begun making an impression on our guild. And we, have begun forming opinions. But, even still, there are a few questions still unanswered about Stormehh.
For example:
Is he Sto or Mehh? Is he a fish or a Cyclops-dinosaur...thing? Is Stormehh an overlord or an overload?
Stormehh certainly has some mysteries about him.
But, one thing for sure, is that he is a good leader. Even though, he may be a warlord and all...Maybe it's what N.A needs.
So far, Stormehh has been excellent at taking hold of his leadership and running with it.
One example of his good leadership was him reintroducing the Participation Points. Genius! How do Stormehh and Steph rack up that many PP? ...Only they will know. O__O I'm guessing magic. -shrugs-
But, still a wonderful idea with cool prizes and fun activities for everyone. *_* Activities for old and ancient members, as well as shiny new members.
Also, the spiffy revamping of the committees. These committees help N.A tremendously. Hats off to them. x3
I bet we are all dancing inside to see what the amazing Stormehh does next. 8D Surely, it will surprise us all in...hopefully a good way, but very well might be in an evil-scheming way.
Proofread by Cyn 3/26/09
Dear Mr. Muggles
Dear Mr. Muggles,
How do you get enough participation points for a userlookup?
Sincerly,
Looking for a lookup.
Dear Looking for a lookup,
Let's do some basic arithmetic here. A userlookup costs 7500 PP. Since you are having to ask me to do simple math for you, I would suggest you complete 300 easy activities, worth 25 PP each. Enjoy your new lookup in… oh… a year or so's time.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Why DID the chicken cross the road?
Dear question asker,
Why did you not sign your question? Are you ashamed that you asked such an age-old question? Let me ask you a question in return. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Obviously, I, Mr. Muggles the grundo, came first, because I had to tell the egg to hatch and become a chicken. So, naturally, the chicken crossed the road to seek my advice on certain topics involving the reproduction of its species.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Stormehh would like to know if you believe a communist neopia would be more successful in the measure of gross domestic product.
From,
Stormehh via Cyn
Dear Stormehh via Cyn,
It's rude to talk about politics.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Do you like Mudkips?
From,
Mudkip Lover
Dear Mudkip Lover,
Roses are red, mudkips are blue. You say that you love them and I like them too. Blue always has been and will always remain a favorite of mine again and again.
DEAR MR. MUGGLES,
DID MY GOUP WIN THE HISTORY PROJECT?
FROM JAYME
Dear Jayme,
Now, any normal grundo would explain that they are not familiar with "goups." However, I know all. And I know that goup basically means a traveling band of troubadours from the early seventeenth century. Provided that this goup time-traveled to the present era to participate in a competition of history projects, I would assume that such a goup would win, because this goup would know almost everything about history from the past four hundred years.
Proofread by Cyn 3/10/09
Gamer's Corner (Victoria)
As everyone knows, the Altador Cup has started and Ansioso is supporting Brightvale. In honour of this occasion, I'm writing about THREE, count them, THREE, games. Can you guess what three? They are
Yooyuball,
Slushie Slinger, and
Make Some Noise.
Game #1: Yooyuball
You play as the Brightvale team. That means you play as "Squeaky" Tressif, a red lupe, Erli Quinnock, a purple peophin, Montecito, a skunk kacheek, Reb Weemelott, a spotted nimmo, and Kayn Hireck, a plushie skeith. In the game, the default formation is 2 attacks and 2 defensemen. I recommend keeping it like that. Everyone knows that the object of the game is to score goals. The best way to move the "ball" or yooyu is to pass it a lot, because the players don't move very fast. When shooting on the goal, shoot on the opposite side; it is more likely to go in. Remember, the different yooyus behave differently, practice so you know what to do.
Game #2: Slushie Slinger
You play as the tuskaninny waitress at the slushie concession stand. She delivers slushies to waiting customers. When the customer is done drinking their slushie, they will throw it back. You have to receive the cup or you lose a life. As the game goes on the stand gets busier. Therefore, it gets harder and you have to move faster.
Game #3: Make Some Noise
You play as the techo super-fan! In this game all you have to do is alternate hitting the two keys at the beginning as fast as you can for 30 seconds. At random intervals throughout the games different letters will appear on the screen and hitting those will get you more points. If you stop hitting the keys you will lose points.
ONE BIG REMINDER: All the games are important, not just yooyuball. Play them all and enjoy yourself.
Proofread by: Alyssa 06/18/08
So They Say (Lori)
And so, I was up late/early one evening/morning, and asked Alyssa to give me a topic that I could write about for the newspaper, to test my writing skills when I'm tired. Instead, she asked me to do an interiew.. -.- I thought I'd make it a bit interesting. We'll see how it goes.
Lori says:
What do you like about butts?
Alyssa says:
I don't. Only Molly's crisis butt. (:
Lori says:
If you had to choose 1 word to describe ansioso, what would it be?
Alyssa says:
frunk"
Lori says:
Ew. Now pick 100 words.
Alyssa says:
Pink erasers x 50?
Lori says:
You fail. If you could have one wish granted, what would it be? And don't be one of those smart-butts and ask for more wishes.
Alyssa says:
Uhhhhhh, I'd wish for the ability to teleport anywhere in the world at my command. :O
Lori says:
Not outside my window, I hope.
Alyssa says:
I don't need to teleport for that. (:
Lori says:
So I hear you're anti-butt. What do you have against butts?
Alyssa says:
They lied to me. I thought they produced magic rainbow dung but noooooooooooo. They were INCAPABLE OF DOING SO.
Lori says:
Are you sick of all the lies these butts are making?
Alyssa says:
VERY SICK. But not only because of the lies.
Lori says:
IT'S THE CHEEZ-IT I MAILED YOU, EH. I KNEW you shoudn't have eaten some stale cheese crackers that have been in the mail for a week ...
Alyssa says:
YOU MADE ME. D; And I meant the smell.
-and Alyssa has to go to bed-
THAT worked well...
Now onto some other interviewees.
Lori says:
What do you think of butts?
Bex says:
Butts are cool.
Bex says:
I have exciting news.
Lori says:
What's the exciting news?
Bex says:
I CAN DRIVE!
Lori says:
You plan on taking your cool butt around in that car of yours?
Bex says:
Yes, yes I do.
Lori says:
If you had to choose 1 word to describe ansioso, what would it be?
Bex says:
superfragilisticexpialadocious"
Lori says:
Interesting. Now how about 50 words?
Bex says:
Or less? xD
Lori says:
I'll let you go on that one, ya lazy butt. So, tell me how it feels to be on the Activities Committee.
Bex says:
x.x Is this some sort of interview?
Lori says:
Yep.
Bex says:
Dang. Uhmmm ... it feels like hard work. But I know I'm doing something good for the guild (and not burning it down).
Lori says:
Do you usually burn down the guild?
Bex says:
xD Alyssa went away for a few days and when she got back I told her I burnt down the guild ... she thought I
actually did something bad.
Lori says:
So you're the Queen Bee while Alyssa's away, would you say?
Bex says:
No, I'm just another helpful member called Queen Bex.
Lori says:
Do you consider the responsibilities of council members or A/C members greater?
Bex says:
Council doesn't have more responsibility ... they are just more looked at.
Bex says:
Uhmm ... Zach I think once told me "Council is no different from A/C, it's only the title that matters."
Lori says:
Do you think the war will hurt our economy?
Bex says:
Hmmm ... hard to say ... I can't speak for everyone but I don't think it'll hurt ... but in the end we have to agree it's all in fun and not to get upset from the outcomes of the war ... (if there are any).
And now for someone not in the guild! :D Sanctuary is the esteemed leader of Nova Sponge Cakes.
Lori says:
What do you think of butts?
Sanctuary says:
Hot.
Lori says:
If you had to pick one word to describe ansioso, what would it be?
Sanctuary says:
Hot.
Lori says:
How about Nova Sponge Cakes?
Sanctuary says:
Fine.
Lori says:
What do you think of rainbow dung?
Sanctuary says:
Butt.
Lori says:
So you think rainbow dung is hot?
Sanctuary says:
Yes.
Lori says:
What do you think of yourself?
Sanctuary says:
HOT FINE WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT GOOD LOOKING HILARIOUS GENEROUS AWESOME AMAZING FINE SKILLED JEW FINE.
Lori says:
What about me? =D
Sanctuary says:
... jew.
Sanctuary says:
In the best way.
Lori says:
*nod* What's your favourite poem?
Sanctuary says:
Ode to Sanctuary by Sanctuary, yet to be written.
Lori says:
Your favorite science equation?
Sanctuary says:
Rolle's Theorem. Wait, that's calculus.
Lori says:
*still waiting*
Sanctuary says:
pv = nRT or whatever.
Lori says:
Ideal gas law? ME TOO!
Lori says:
And a closing note, what do you think of pink erasers?
Sanctuary says:
Taste like chicken.
Lori says:
Thank you kindly for your services.
Sanctuary says:
When will I be in the newspaper?
Lori says:
August.
Sanctuary says:
WUT.
Lori says:
Mhm.
Sanctuary says:
You're not really putting that in there are you
Well, it looks like she'll find out soon enough! xD
Proofread by: Alyssa 07/06/08
Soapbox (Cyn)
Yoho, yoho, delivery life for me!" Cap'n O sang as he rowed the rickety boat. Annette became incredibly annoyed. "We package your package and take it to you. Put bows, me hearties, on boxes! We-"
Could you please stop?" Annette pleaded. "You've been singing that same song for hours!"
Cap'n O frowned and continued rowing. "I can't believe ye don't like me song!"
I can't believe ye were singing yer song for THREE HOURS!" Annette said mockingly, crossing her arms across her chest.
Now, me hearty, no need to be rude! Cap'n O is going out of his way to take ye home, ye know!" Cap'n O stopped rowing and glared at her. "Ye know, when I was captain of the Fyora, I'd be locking my crew in the brig for such insolence!" he declared, with a shake of his fist.
Annette folded her arms once more. "Well, I'm sorry, Cap'n O. I'm just frustrated. You see, I don't know how I ended up here at all. I was just writing, and the next thing I knew, I fell into the ocean! I don't even live near the ocean! I live right in the middle of Neopia Central, down by the bazaar ..."
Cap'n O thought for a moment. His eyes lit up. "I know someone in Kiko Lake that can answer yer questions. No stranger to the sea, he is! Why, when I was just a wee lad, this Kiko was commandeering his own fleet! Why, the stories he used to tell ..." Cap'n O sighed. "But I don't suppose ye want to hear about them, do ye? Hmph."
Annette frowned. She thought that perhaps she had been too hard on Cap'n O. He was, after all, basically just a senile old retiree who liked to tell stories. "No, Cap'n O. Why don't you tell me?" She smiled.
Cap'n O smiled right back. "Well, I'd love to! Why, me gal, 'twas ... er ... well, ye see ..." he began with a puzzled look on his face.
Annette's face darkened. "You forgot, didn't you?"
Cap'n O grimaced. "'Forgot'... 'tis such a harsh phrase! I prefer to use ... er ... 'temporarily lost!'" Cap'n O waved his hand. "I'll just let him tell ye! Here we are! We're coming up on land! Man the sails, now!" Annette raised an eyebrow. There were no sails on the rowboat. She decided to humor the old Kyrii. "Man the sails, I said, man the sails! Just go over there ... yes, now raise your hands like that ... now pull! Yes, just pull! There ye go! Thanks be to ye!"
Annette rolled her eyes and chuckled while Cap'n O was turned away. Soon enough, they pulled up on land. "The delivery we're to make is just around the corner," he told her while heaving the boat ashore. "It's at Kiko Lake Carpentry. They're in need of some notebooks and pencils for their book keepin'!" He and Annette hauled a box full of pads and pencils down the road and into the building to the yellow Kiko at the front desk. "Is Vinny running the glass bottom boat tours today?" Cap'n O asked him while unloading the crate.
The yellow Kiko scoffed. "He does every day. Rain or shine. 'I have to serve the people!' says he. 'They be wantin' me services!' rants he. Annoyed, become I!" Cap'n O thanked the Kiko and he and Annette left.
Young'uns these days ... they don't appreciate a true, dedicated seapet!" Cap'n O said as he shook his head. He and Annette walked across the street to the boat tours.
A very old Kiko was manning the stand. "Bonjour, me friends!" He said. "Are ye wantin' a glass bottom boat tour?"
Vinny, 'tis me, ye scallywag! 'Tis Cap'n Onassis_ " Cap'n O introduced himself.
Vinny looked down his nose at Cap'n O. "So, it is! And who's the little gal ye have with ye?"
My name is Annette," Annette introduced herself. "Cap'n O here says that you can answer some questions for me."
Vinny smiled. "Ah, me hearty, do ye have a coral sample ye'd like this old Kiko to take a gander at?"
No, sir," Annette replied. "I would like for you to answer this question ... why did I fall into the ocean from my room??
Vinny's smile disappeared. "Ye ... ye did what now? Ye fell into the ocean ... from yer room?" Annette nodded. "And ... what were ye doin', exactly?" Annette explained the whole situation. "I see ... well, there's only one explanation I can think of. The lorgles."
The ... pardon?" Annette asked, skeptically. "The lorgles?"
SHH!" Vinny said. "They can't hear ye! The lorgles ... they be crafty little buggers! Ye see, lorgles are little winged Elephante-Mootix creatures that pick people up and drop 'em in the ocean!" Vinny flailed his arms in a frenzy.
Cap'n O held onto Annette's shoulders. "Thanks, Vinny ... we've gotta be going now ... thank ye!" The two voyagers began to walk away. "Now, just walk quietly, and say nothin', ye hear? Vinny's off his rocker, it seems ..."
Watch out for the you-know-whats!" Vinny called after them, waving.
You could have told me your friend was a basket case!" Annette said, in a huff.
He didn't used ter be!" Cap'n O insisted as they walked back to the glorious rowboat. "I'm sorry, me gal. I really thought he could give ye some answers! He used ter be quite savvy with his sea knowledge! Why, anyone could present to him any conundrum caused by Neopia's oceans, and he could solve it! He was sharp as a tack, ye see. I thought fer sure he could help us ..." Cap'n O scratched his head.
Annette sighed in defeat. "Well, where do we go next?"
Cap'n O took a clipboard from the boat. "Next stop ... Faerieland!" Cap'n O's eyes lit up. "And I know just who to ask fer help!" He jumped in the boat with a magnificent flourish. "Off we go, me gal! Time's a wasting, me hearty!"
Annette shrugged and got in the boat. "I hope this trip will be more helpful than Vinny ..."
Proofread by: Alyssa 06/18/08
Research Archives (Stephanie)
*suspenseful music ends quickly*
Phew. Bet you're glad that's over. It's been playing for a month now, and I know you've been constantly sitting around staring at my article, begging for a miracle that would make more of my material appear. Not gonna happen, folks. If you want to make the next article come faster, you should just check out the third link on my profile. Okay, so it won't actually make the article come faster but ... it will help me out. And we all want that, right? =D
Well, I suppose now that you're here and the suspenseful music has ended, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for! *insert collective gasp here*
I present my research on the ... LORI. *ominous music*
Oh, right, I almost forgot. *hands out sunglasses* I mentioned I was shiny last time, right? Well, I guess there were some complaints that I was hurting some eyes, so these are to protect you from my emanating shininess. =o And now, back to Lori!
So, I started my research by thinking about stalking Lori. Now, don't get all righteous on me! I didn't actually do it, okay? It would have been kind of hard to pull off since she's not on neo anymore, you know? And anyway, she probably just goes to grammar school so we're not really missing out! We can just imagine/know in our hearts that stalking her is unnecessary! NO, we don't actually need to see her to know what she's doing! Trust me, I'm the one who graduated from researcher school!
So, as I mentioned in my Lori intro last article, Lori has like a bazillion so-called "identities." (YES, bazillion is a word you obsessive word freaks.) Originally I thought there were only like, 10 identities ... appears it's more. I know, right? Who would have thought? But that's why the righteous public is there! To give us the whole story!! So, we have the following list to analyze (CN denotes a code name for the civilian who submitted the piece of evidence):
-- Dr. Sloth, AKA the evil green guy that wants to take over the world.
-- A 35 Year Old African American Male, AKA ... weird ... but this one was a dream, and they say dreams reveal your heart's desire/the inner truth. *shrug*
-- A Mexican Hobo, AKA ... a Mexican Hobo. There really isn't much more to that.
-- A piece of chocolate (that would explain why everyone loves chocolate!).
Above are my original theories ... below are those gathered while researching.
-- College Girl (Larry the Ominous Cheerio, L.O.C., CN)
-- Boy-biting 10-year-old girl with mouth perpetually stuffed with Cheez-its (THE
RADIFANSUPERTASTICAL PERSON, CN)
-- A leopluridon, a
magical leopluridon (Queen Bex, CN)
So, using my impassable analytical skills, I analyzed the above possibilities and their implications. The first theory to go was the 35-year-old African American male one. Although the dream is a very reputable source, Some Dumb Blonde (CN), a member of the righteous public, has said, "I doubt the rumors of her being a 35 year old African American male are true." And that is enough for us.
So, we move on. A Mexican Hobo? Hmm. Given that hobos and Mexicans are commonly known to be good rappers, (They are!! Don't you try to contradict me! You live in a cave, remember?) I submit this evidence of the Lori in its natural habitat:
http://www.neopets.com/~Yilaan
I think it is safe to accept the Mexican Hobo theory.
A piece of chocolate? Yes. Yes, it must be true. That's all the evidence you need.
college girl? Hm ... this one's a toss-up ... ummm. Yeah. No further comment.
It is known that the Lori loves Cheez-its, so RADIFANSUPERTASTICAL PERSON's evidence is also accepted as true.
(We know this person is an excellent source: "Contrary to popular belief, I have actually stalked Lori.")
So. There you have it. Lori is ... all of the above. How can this be, you wonder? Well, I guess your minds just aren't up to accepting it ... or maybe just not up to comprehending it. *coughs* What do you mean, I never analyzed Sloth? Of course I did! You just didn't see it! *shifty eyes*
*rolls eyes* You are so DEMANDING. Yeesh. Look inside the parentheses. Then it's not
really part of my article, and the boss - errr, I mean - the crazy cults won't attack me.
(Okay, Lori has to be Sloth. Duh. How else would she be able to be everything at once? Sloth is the only neo-creature capable of doing something like that, silly! But you never read this! I never wrote it! It's in parentheses! NO, I'm not working for Sloth! Yeesh. Where do you folks get these crazy ideas? Honestly, you should write for Soap Operas or something! And anyway, I never said this! None of this stuff in the parentheses ever happened! I don't know how it got here, because I would never risk people finding out Sloth's true identity so that they could somehow foil his/her plans! Not that I care! Because I don't work for Sloth! I'm just protecting myself! From the cults! Yeah!)
I suppose it's important to note that my interviewees also agreed on a lot of key points concerning the Lori. You do, of course, want to know more about the true nature of the Lori. =P (CN denotes a code name.)
Polite guild leader - Queen Bex (CN)
AKJSDJFHNAD!! SHE'S THE GUILD LEADER!!! SCARY!!! (Author's Note: Obviously because she was so amazing!) - RADIFANSUPERTASTICAL PERSON (CN)
Literate, loyal, lovable. (a lot of 'L's. :D) - Some Dumb Blonde, (CN)
(Your first impression was...?) Bossy and aggressive. I was completely wrong. - Larry the Ominous Cheerio, L.O.C. (CN)
She is great leader. I don't remember any scary moments with Lori ... the way she talks to people ... it just makes them want to hang out and chat. And an awesome leader. - Anonymous
So there you ave it: Lori, MexicanHobo/Chocolate/Cheez-It-Stuffed-10-year-old/amazing leader/amazing person. So, despite all the confusion created by her many *cough* identities, it's easy to see that we all love Lori. (:
One last Lori moment worth including:
When I first met Lori, she ... corrected my spelling. - Anonymous
Sounds like Lori. xD
*theme music*
Acknowledgments: This month's column was brought to you by the researching efforts of your very own shiny author and the following guild members: Anonymous, RADIFANSUPERTASTICAL PERSON, Queen Bex, Some Dumb Blonde, and Larry the Ominous Cheerio - L.O.C. Thanks a ton to those
who contributed!!!! The methods used this week were analysis, interview, imagination, and a document entitled Loti, which contained highly delicate information related to the Lori Case. (The document wasnt entitled Lori because I was in a hurry and accidentally named it Loti. It's an easy mistake!! The T key is right next to the R key!) But yeah, all highly scientific methods, don't concern yourself with it. Let the researcher take control. You just keep on reading happily. ^^
Another note: Next month's column focus has not yet been chosen/corresponded with. The person the questions to go with them should be up here shortly!
http://www.neopets.com/~Erihan_27
...
But what about the leopluridon?!
Lori? A leopluridon? A
magical leopluridon? This is the Lori's most common form, not brought about until *gasp* TODAY. Shocking. Simply, simply shocking. Who knew that Lori was involved in such antics? Showing Charlie the way to Candy Mountain, only to ... well, you know. So we know Lori is the magical leopluridon but ... this opens up a whole new area to investigate. Who is the Y? Who is Charlie? And who are the mysterious, high-pitched, peppy aids to the Lori's secret operation? This is only the beginning of the research!
And ... I hope you enjoyed your short break from it ... because here's some more ...
*suspenseful music*
Proofread by: Alyssa 06/15/08
*Soapbox (Chai)
ansioso: guild or conspiracy?
Good day, ladies and gentlemen of the notable guild ansioso. As members of ansioso, you have all had the experience of visiting the FAQ page (
http://www.neopets.com/~nalives). What looks like a friendly guild may actually be an underlying conspiracy.
Ansioso started off as neo.anxious, which many have referred to as N.A. N.A was deleted, so the FAQ page's URL seems to reflect that neo.anxious lives. But, ladies and gents, delve a bit deeper: na lives. N/A can refer to not applicable or not any. Not any lives! Does this give any insight into what the real goal of the guild is- to make certain that nobody lives? o.0;
With that in mind, take a look at the page again. There seem to be multiple pirate pets slashing their hands around- but take a closer look and you'll see that their hands are replaced with HOOKS! Perhaps the old members of the guild were killed and then turned into pirates. There are exactly three of these pirate figures: Attie, Becca, and Lori?
Now, there are three things that for some odd and unknown reason, the guild seems to be very big on. Those are
rainbow dung,
Dr. Sloth, and
pink erasers. Just from the FAQ page, you can get a sense of the brainwashing that the guild tries to instill in you
from the very start. Let's take a look.
The application is composed of five questions, one of which is "What do you think about
Rainbow Dung (the item)?" Upon reading this, one wonders, "Why the heck are they asking me this? I don't think anything of
rainbow dung!"
But, in order to be accepted into the guild, the applicant pretends to enjoy and/or worship
rainbow dung. Already, you can see this conspiracy is working. The guild doesn't have to feed you propaganda about
rainbow dung- you've fed it to yourself! One also wonders why they refer to
rainbow dung as an item. What else would it be? A shop? The guild would not have to differentiate
rainbow dung the item from something else if there
was nothing else! So that leads us to the conclusion that there is another
rainbow dung ... but what? And who knows about this secret
rainbow dung?
Second,
Dr. Sloth. He is generally known to Neopia as one of the villains of the world, who is constantly trying to take over the world but fails every time. Why does ansioso support a villain? We're not too sure, but the FAQ page states that new members should request WeLiveOn as a neofriend to allow the guild to "carry on with [their] mutual plan with
Dr. Sloth ..." but they abruptly stop so as not to give away any more information. How mutual
is this plan? If one takes a look under the Bragging Rights section of the FAQ page, it says that "Most importantly, we have a large array of people in the guild, including
Dr. Sloth + minions, several typo faeries/grammar queens,
pink eraser lovers, cheez-it eaters, Fyora, Kass, and a few dinosaurs." Interesting statement.
Very interesting. Why does the guild insist that is most important that they have
Dr. Sloth? Is
Dr. Sloth really in the guild? I WANT HIS USERNAME! :K Also in this sentence, they subtly introduce the concept of
pink erasers, some other powerful figures in Neopia (both good and evil), cheez-its, and dinosaurs. If we have
Sloth and Kass, which are both presumably evil, why is Fyora in there? Is she in alliance with these evil figures to decieve members from knowing the evil intentions of the guild? And what do cheez-its and dinosaurs have to do with anything?! RAWR.
If you go down to the Consequences area, you'll see that the last rule (again the last bullet- to solidify it in your mind, maybe?) states that failure to enable guild mailings will result in
Dr. Sloths minions being sent after you. The specifics on what they will do exactly, is not given. That is left to the reader's imagination? o.0; The following sentence warns that there are many minions, all equpped with long lasting hair gel. Where are these minions, and if there were many of them, wouldn't you notice them in the guild? That leaves one to wonder whether
all the members of the guild were the minions! Is this whole guild a trap to bring
Dr. Sloth to power? And what do the minions plan on doing to you that involves long lasting hair gels?! RUN AWAY FROM BAD HAIR DAYS AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
After entering the guild, you see a layout based around chokatos. The logo says "DON'T MESS WITH OUR CHOKATOS!" One must wonder whether the guild also has a weird fettish with chokatos, or if they're just weird ...
Under the council chat, Alyssa congratulates Steph and Molly, the new council members, and says, "YOU'RE MY NEW SLAVESSSSS! :D" Very disturbing sentence indeed. Slavery was abolished back in the day of Abraham Lincoln for the United States but Alyssa is Canadian, which may explain some odd quirks. What are the 4 extra S's in slaves supposed to mean? Secret Society of Suffering Slaves? Or maybe she banged her hand against the keyboard and the s's ran on. The other two council members seem
thrilled, in fact, overly thrilled to be considered slaves. Steph uses exclamation points after every second and describes slavery as "SO EXCITING!!!" Molly is a bit more put together but her speech is dull/depressing next to Steph's. She uses 1 exclamation point.
Alyssa also says before anything else,
PINK ERASERS = VICTORY! :D" The fact that she puts this above anything else signifes the importance of
pink erasers. But victory? There apparently is a war between pro-
pink erasers and anti-
pink erasers. It seems that some smart individual has already gotten a head start on combatting the
pink eraser conspiracy, but has yet to go against
rainbow dung and
Dr. Sloth.
Going into the message boards, you can clearly see the divisions between the eraser wars. Those that support
pink erasers tend to have a pink font, avatar, and state that they are pro-pink in their fonts. The anti-pinks generally have a not-so-peppy color font, and also state that they are anti-pink in their fonts.
There also seems to be a trend of Brightvale supporters in the group BOB of which Sanny (
x_psychoi) seems to be a leader of. Why Brightvale, and why not support the other groups? Does the guild really endorse Brightvale? Is there another conspiracy with King Hagan? How many leaders will we have to find out are connected to the guild!?
Taking another look at the message board, it seems pretty normal, but for one thing: the subject of each message is generally "Re: Post". What is that supposed to mean, anyway? And why does everyone insist on making the subject line Re: Post? Post must stand for something! It's a prefix for after ... maybe afterlife? Or the significance from before and after, saying that the guild changes you ... into a minion! GAH!
Let's take a look at the guild account. Going to the userlookup of
weliveon, we see a pet called ansiosoo. Maybe Alyssa had a typing problem again. Currently, the jubjub is BLUE and is sad. Does this say anything?
At the guild shop, you see a rainbow grundo named Dude that says, "Yo, what's good?" This is quite a shocking statement for an esteemed literate and mature guild to make. The guild also, surprisingly, has some odd enjoyance of raps. Are they also affiliated with gangsters, and what do gangsters have to bring to the
Sloth-Kass-Fyora-
rainbow dung-
pink eraser-King Hagan alliance?
Right under that, you see a giant poster modeled after Uncle Sam's famous poster replaced by an malevolent
Dr. Sloth pointing at you. In smaller black print at the bottom, it says, "NEAREST
PINK ERASER STATION." There are
pink eraser stations? Peculiar ...
If you go to the gallery on the guild account, you'll see a water faerie (presumably her name is Taerya). She says, "Don't forget to read the fine print!" Very wise words indeed. Where is this fine print?
Heading over to the website,
http://www.neopets.com/~worthtalkingabout, you can read some of this fine print. It welcomes you in one sentence, and then says, "We're glad to have you here, and would like to notify you that we are not responsible for loss of memory, personal belongings, limbs, or teeth, and if you should develop a sudden urge to join
Dr. Sloths army, please be advised that we do not cover any insurance costs, but we will provide you with
rainbow dung!" This alarming list of side effects that come with browsing the website should lead the browser to become extremely suspicious and cautious.
At the bottom of the page, there are 5 links to different websites of envioronmentalist and humanitarian efforts. All of these banners are green.
Dr. Sloth also happens to be green. Coincidence!? Of course not.
At the very top, you see banners advertising the guild. The website claims there are 13 of them at the bottom, so I spent all morning refreshing and getting screenshots of all 13 of them. Hold the applause, please. No actually- keep clapping. :D
Banners 4 and 1 show pirates, yet again. What is with the guild and pirates? Banner 1 also says "AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL
PINK ERASER STATION!" There are ones in my area now? Banner five also says, "YOUR LOCAL
PINK ERASER STATION". These stations are starting to creep me out ...
Banner 6 has a slab of
rainbow dung on the side. This is a perfect example of subconscious brainwashing. Banner 2 says, "Guilty of being talked about." Why the word choice of guilty and the dismal font?
Banner 7 has
Dr. Sloth smiling smugly, red eyes and all, next to a hot pink flower. In fact, the entire banner is full of light pink, cursive writing. It dislays ansioso in a warm, orange color to deceive the viewer to associate
Dr. Sloth with pink, happy colors, which any sensible person knows is not true. The use of pink also concerns me that this may have a factor of
pink erasers in it- and you can also see that parts of the background are white- perhaps erased? =o
Banner 8 is a change into extremely dark colors of blue-gray, gray, and black. It says "IT'S WAR AT ANSIOSO" and "pro-pink vs. anti pink". There is a picture of a man holding a rifle pointed at the word "ANSIOSO." Rather subtly, but the trick here is that the guild places another man in black in front of ansioso, perhaps valiantly taking the shot for ansioso. However, if one looks closely enough, one notices that the defending man is BLURRY. This implies that he is on another plane because the camera is focusing on the man with the rifle, who is in front. The man in the back is therefore nowhere near the man with the gun, who is ultimately shooting the gun at ansioso.
Banner 9 shows a mutated fish-like creature with mucus all over the banner. On the juxta position, banner 10 is made of colors of pink, blue, and purple- the typical 3rd grade girl's palette at arts and crafts. The banner even displays a PINK faerie slorg. Slorgs are generally rather disgusting creature, but the guild was able to turn it into a somewhat cuddly creature. The concept of deception and change is once again displayed here.
Banner 11 seems a bit out of place. It is mostly a theme of the periodic theme of elements, some beakers with colorful solutions on the right, and some text that says "noble gases" and "rare earth me-" After doing some research on the periodic table, it seems that the second line is meant to say "rare earth metals." Why these two choices of rare and noble, when on the periodic table there are other categories such as transition metals and alkaline earth metals? There is also an orange blurred text on the left that says, "FREE HUGS". Not only is this excessively random when referring to the topics in chemistry, but the blurriness implies a loss of the free hugs. Do hugs now have to be paid for?
Banner 12 is a beach scene, inverted so that the palm trees are white, with a rainbow fountain faerie picture to the left. The text says "dreaming on those summer nights..." Again, rather random and seemingly not put together well.
Banner 13 is the perfect example of propoganda. There is a dancing elephant and a Hawaiian-like elephant. ELEPHANTS DO NOT DANCE, PEOPLE! The banner is laid with pretty rainbow colors and scattered music notes. It is reminiscent of those propoganda pictures of Joseph Stalin smiling at children, or Lous XIV sitting in front of the sun.
I have nothing to say about Banner 3.
Here are some surprising statistics: if you search
Sloth, you find 22 total results. Search
rainbow dung, and you get 21 total results.
Pink erasers produce a total of 11 results. If you search ansioso, you only get 6 results. How about Lori, an ex-member? 39 total results. It is quite believable that she is involved in some sort of conspiracy.
Near the top of each page, you see a present box that says something like, "Today is DATE HERE It's a new day, with a new Daily Drop theme! Bombard your guildmates with any -insert theme here- items." These annoying events follow you around EVERYWHERE on the site, and state that every day is a new day. Yes, we're aware of that. There is also an interesting word choice of "Bombard." Why not use give, or send? After consulting my good friend, the dictionary, I have gathered a few definitions of the word:
1. To attack with bombs, shells, or missiles.
2. To attack with a cannon firing stone balls.
3. Cast, hurl, or throw repeatedly with some missile
4. Throw bombs at or attack with bombs.
5. To attack with artillery.
Clearly, bombard is an extremely violent word.
Back at the guild website, it directs new members to "submit the following: Your birthday, Meet N' Greet, and Referrals." Why do they ask for such personal information as your birthday? Is it part of the
Dr. Sloth conspiracy? Most likely. Right under this text, there is a link to the Faerie Crossword Puzzle. Here is the appearance of faeries again!
Taking a brief history lesson on past guild wars, we see that the first one was between the Pirates and Maraqua, of which the pirates won. Does that explain the obsession with pirates? The second guild war was between the CFSA and SMFC. These acronyms stand for the COMMUNISTIC FAERIE and
SLOTH ALLIANCE. DING DING DING DING, WE SEEM TO HAVE FOUND SOMETHING. The second acronym stands for SM Fan Club. I have not a clue who Sm is, but he is my new hero for standing up to this alliance. The result? Of course, the CFSA won. We've heard about the awful faerie and
Sloth alliance, but we seem to have stumbled upon a new economic approach to this situation.
Taking a closer look at the CFSA page, there is a rather long explanation of why communism is better than capitalism. Scrolling down, you see some banners. The first one that can be displayed shows
Dr. Sloth next to Fyora. The next displays
Dr. Sloth holding a purple flower and smilying, in back of some faeries. The next one is EXTREMELY disturbing because it displays a distored colorued-in version of
Dr. Sloth inside a heart, and it says "I LOVE
SLOTHY" and beneath, it says "Oh
Slothy, you're so fine. You're so fine, you blow my mind". LIKE, EWWWWWWWWWW!? The final banner is another coloured in version of
Dr. Sloth, ready to push down a button. The text reads, "Your Life is in the index finger of his right hand. Pleasant, eh?" The picture is very reminiscent of the picture at the guild shop.
On the SMFC page, there is a lengthy counter-argument on the pros of capitalism. The third displayable banner promotes Tea and Cakes (which I assume is a subdivision of the SMFC) while degrading
rainbow dung and cheez-its. Is this where
rainbow dung and cheez-its came to influence the guild? After winning Guild War II (GWII)? There also happens to be a rather disturbing picture of electric feces. It looks like
rainbow dung but is electric coloured.
Leaving the website and going to the newspaper, one is greeted with a big banner in grayscale except a White Weewoo with orange feet and an orange beak on the bottom right side. The main image is extremely hard to see, but I believe it is a closeup of some piano keys, with music notes reflected on the white parts of the keys. One has to wonder what music and Weewoos have to do with ansioso's newspaper.
Speaking of the newspaper, I'll need to submit this in to Alyssa. Hopefully she will put this up so you all can continue searching the depths of ansioso for secrets pertaining to this conspiracy! Remember that "Victory will come to those that seek it" --SMFC tactical unit
Good bye for now- I must go get some more of that long lasting hair gel!
Proofread by: Alyssa 07/05/08
Gamer's Corner (Victoria)
Shenkuu River Rush
Loc was wondering how to play Shenukuu River Rush. Thank you Loc for this request!
In this game, you play as Cassile or Bowe. You navigate down a river that has obstacles like rocks and bamboo shoots, but the river also has jumps and waterfalls. Simply completing the level doesn't get you points; you have to rack up points by using combos during air time. If you crash land, you lose points. If you run into obstacles you lose a life. So this game isn't exactly easy. Oh oh oh! Remember to hold shift while doing tricks. I forget sometimes.
If you want to play the game for fun, there are a few things you need to know. You're not going to get a ton of neopoints. This game is not easy, but it is fun. To move left and right, you use (gasp!) the right and left arrow keys. To speed up, up arrow key is used and to slow down, down arrow. To jump, you use the space bar. When you are in the air, you use arrow keys to make trick combos. For example, down �" down gets you 2 points as does right �" left. Right �" down �" left and up �" down �" down get you 4 points. To get a whopping eight points you can use left �" right �" down �" left or left �" down �" right �" up �" left. The eight point tricks are not included in the instructions. There are 3 in-game power-ups. These are invulnerability, speed boost, and super jump, all pretty self-explanatory.
If you want to be really good at this game, I suggest investing some neopoints. In this game, if you have certain items in your inventory, you get power-ups. Here is a list:
- Backpack: Gives you bonus points when you start a new level.
- Speed Bead" necklace: Increase speed.
- Mighty Jumping Sandals: Jumps are more powerful.
- Winged Talisman: Decrease Gravity and increase flight time
- Bracers of Fury: Not quite sure what this does
- Helm of Recovery: Unknown but it obviously could do with recovery
There are things you should keep in mind while playing. Cassile is lighter and gets better air-time then Bowe. One point tricks take less time and can be done within a jump, but this slows you down giving you less air-time of waterfalls. Pressing the space bar stashes the points you have earned while you are in the air.
What can I do with this game? I can get a score of 232, but the servers were experiencing problems and could not send my score. -.-' Hope this article helps!
Proofread by Cyn 4/15/09
Listen to Lola
Welcome to May's LISTEN TO LOLA! This month, we were going to have Stormehh on the show, but sadly, our meepits were having lunch...and it all went downhill from there. Anyways, we have LOLA answering your questions! So ask away!
Why is Rainbow Dung the item of NA? -Clueless Carry
Carry, I gasp! Why shouldn't it be the item? The real reason...if you want it, the lawyerbot version is below:
The Guild of neo.anxious led by Stormehh -insertlastname- has the item 'mascot' as rainbow dung because pink erasers were on lend by Kaye, Caps Lock isn't an official item, and Cheez-Its would clash with the trademark issues.
So there you go! NOW GO WORSHIP THE DUNG!
Is it neo.anxious or Neo.Anxious? - Ms. Grammatically Correct
Well well well, after doing some research...it looks like it's used both ways! Just take a look at the webbie (~worthtalkingabout). At the top, it says neo.anxious, but at the side, it says Neo.Anxious. So...my take on the matter is this: Neo.anxious or neo.Anxious.
But truly, it doesn't matter.
Why is Kiyo's name KiyoFTW? -Nosy Nelly
CAUSE SHE'S FOR THE WIN! GO KIYO, GO KIYO, GO KIYO!
*to apply for Kiyo FTW's cheerleaders, please send a five page application on why Kiyo rocks your socks.
This has been a paid advertisement. Thank you.
Does Stormehh like peanuts? -Unknown
TAKE STORMEHH OUT TO THE BALL GAME! BUY HIM SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS....Yeah, I think so.
Why do meepits and feepits hate each other? -Concenered Steph
Meepits and feepits are mortal enemies. Have you heard of Meepit Juice Break? Meepits get a LOT of juice, and poor feepits (the second grade meepits) are left with none at all! So now it's a mango juice fight over the juices, and currently meepits are winning.
How awesome is mango juice? -Juicy Jumper
Mango Juice is too awesome to explain. The sweet, orangey drink is only available in Stephopolis; that's what makes it so delicious. To order a pack sent directly to your lair, please call 1-STEPH-MANGO today!
If Cheez-Its and Sloth would battle it out, who would win? -Lola----I mean Lolo
-auto response- Thank you for applying to become a Sloth minion. We eat Cheez-Its for breakfast. So Lolo, join the Sloth Gang or ELSE! -end response-
Hmmm...I'm not really sure Lolo- hey, I didn't apply to become a Sloth mini-*poof*
SLOTH WILL NOW ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!
How awesome are you Sloth? -Grundo Minion
-zap- Too awesome for you to ask me a question. NEXT VICTIM!
Where is Purply Lola? -Dead-to-Sloth
There is no such thing as Lola. Please refer to page 5830 section 8 paragraph 9 subparagraph 2 in your I *heart* Sloth manual. Thank you and have an evilicious day!
Thank you for witnessing my hostile takeover of Listen To Lola. Next week, if Lola doesn't make it out of her cage-I mean mysterious illness, the name of this section will be called SLOTH IS YOUR RULER and will feature many different sections of Sloth. Enjoy your day!
Proofread by Cyn 4/23/09
Depression (Stormehh)
Stocks – What's the big deal?
An Article by Stormehh
If you call yourself a "Neopets player", then you should know what the stock market is. Not like those hollow representations of a well-seasoned Neopian that typically lurk on the HC. But that's another matter. To add to this, you should know what the stock market is due to the ones that exist in real life, causing us endless misery at the present. In a small effort to make my articles slightly livelier, my sidekick (or slave, both words have the same meaning, really), will summarise my ramblings.
Anyway, let's get started. This Depression article will examine whether the stock market is, in fact, a reliable, worthwhile source of neopoints that lives up to its reputation. There will be no historical references regarding the stock market in this article. Why? It's not like the Neopets Stock Market is a user-controlled one, so whatever TNT decides go. Unfortunately, it's a little difficult for them to be logical.
To begin, you have to invest, or buy "shares" in a "company" – all of which is highly fictitious. If you've ever seen a help page, then the fact that you're supposed to buy 1000 shares at 15np each and sell at 30np each should already be rammed into your brain. I'm not saying that isn't a good strategy, but this is the first flaw with the stock market.
Nyerii: Where's the freedom?
If you want to be successful, then there's one set pattern that you're required to follow, time, after time, after time. Wow, how enjoyable. Isn't it fun to whittle away endless hours of your precious free time by doing the same thing, day, after day, after day? At least through playing games and restocking (though the latter has flaws for numerous other reasons) you have the freedom to do what you like, rather than monotonously immerse yourself in subliminal advertising, in the wait for your stocks to rise by tiny percentages, filling your virtual pockets with minimal gain after endless days of wait. You can't try different strategies – they very rarely work, and you aren't going to be the one who discovers a viable one.
This leads us onto our second major issue with stocks. In this hypothetical, but all to depressingly real situation, the wasted time that has accumulated each time you sneak a glance at your shares, (becoming wracked with guilt each time) you see that they have changed a minute fraction since the last time. Perhaps it's a "good" figure like 0.000000000032875%. It's all the more likely to be -79.498683956%. Mathematically and logically, your overall figure is much more likely to be in the red than the green, meaning that you are almost always losing money in stocks. So, the second problem?
Nyerii: It makes you as many neopoints as a bucket of sludge could.
Let's see the stock market in a wider perspective, just to keep this article entirely fair and stuff like that. If you're not going to make many neopoints, then you can at least do it in style. Now, style may not be something that an overly depressing, basement-lurking satirist like me would have the best grasp of, but I shall try to make it seem stylish. –clears throat– The stock market is cool! Ah, I don't think I did too well…
Nyerii: The stock market is as cool as Loc in a flannel shirt.
Proofread by Cyn 3/9/2009
Guildy Dirt (Loc)
((This Stormehhry was written by Stormehhrmehh, Zach, and Trenn and found in a basement somewhere))
Trenn: Once upon a time there was a man named...
Stormehh: BUTTMUNCH!! *giggle*
Trenn: Good one! And Buttmunch liked a girl named...
Stormehh: FRANK!!
Trenn: But that's a boy name.
Stormehh: But that's what makes it funny. *snort*
Trenn: Ohhh. So Buttmunch and Frank went to dinner and ate...
Stormehh: POOPY!!
Trenn: Heh. Then they went home and watched a romantic movie called..
Stormehh: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!
Trenn: NO! MY LITTLE PONY!!!
Stormehh: NO WAY!!
Trenn: FINE YOU WANT TO WRITE THIS YOURSELF, YOU CAN!!! *leaves*
Stormehh: But I'm stupid and don't know how to spell. *cries*
Zach: I CAN SPELL! *flies in*
Stormehh: YAY! I'm saved from my idiocies!!
Zach: But now you'll suffer mine.
Trenn: I'm bac- WHAT IS THIS? YOU'RE IN MY BATHTUB!!
*Stormehh and Zach slowly get out*
Zach: Well this is uncomfortable.
Stormehh: I guess we'll leave.
*Stormehh and Zach leave*
*Trenn begins to wimper*
*Stormehh and Zach come back*
Stormehh: Can't we all just write together?
Trenn: I'm sorry.
Stormehh: Me too.
*group hug*
Zach: So they went and saw "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"
Trenn: And they went home and lived happily ever after.
Stormehh: The moral of this Stormehhry is never play with fire.
THE END!
Proofread by Cyn 4/15/2009
Soapbox (Cyn)
A Faerieland Mystery: Preface
Mara was a beautiful Faerie Wocky. Naturally, she called Faerieland her home. She could be found on any given day, floating about with the faeries in the clouds, eating at the Faerie Foods store, and helping the Library Faerie sort through books. She was a virtuous Neopet of 15 years old.
Her twin sister, Dara, however, was not as cheerful and bright. Dara was a Grey Wocky. Dara hated living in Faerieland. It was all… too bright. The faeries were too happy. Not right. She hated leaving the house, she hated shopping, and she absolutely hated the library. All she ever wanted to do was lay on the couch, dozing off in front of the television in their expansive Neohome.
Mara and Dara had one thing in common: their little sister Lara, the Baby Wocky, who was more of a responsibility than a sister. Mara and Dara both were annoyed when their mother and father left Lara alone with them, which happened almost every day. The one thing Mara absolutely dreaded was babysitting. Dara did not exactly like it either.
Contrary to what outsiders believed, Mara and Dara were the best of friends. Dara was more levelheaded than Mara. Dara kept her sister's head out of the clouds – no pun intended. Mara also brought out what little sense of adventure Dara had. Mara would float around her twin, giggling and saying, "Come play with me and the faeries!" Dara would oblige, but she would sit with Baelia, the grey faerie, and watch Mara and the other faeries play Faerie Cloud Racers. This was fine with Mara. She felt some triumph in getting Dara out of the house, and it was easier to look after Lara while Dara and Baelia listlessly made daisy chains for the Baby Neopet.
One warm day in the month of Relaxing, Dara, Lara, and Baelia were sitting in the grass, as usual, while Mara played with the faeries. Dara and Baelia were deep into intellectual conversation while Mara played. After a solid hour and a half, Mara and the faeries took a soda break. They came and sat in the grass with Dara and Baelia. Mara looked around, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the beautiful scenery of Faerieland.
Dara?" Mara said, flatly.
This tone in her sister's voice surprised Dara. "What, Mara?" She asked reluctantly.
Where is Lara?" Mara asked, her voice almost in a whisper.
TO BE CONTINUED
Proofread by Cyn 4/15/09
Gamer's Corner (Cyn)
Ahh, Faerie Cloud Racers. The game that I hated for years of my neolife. I found it to be terribly hard. However, I now know that the reason I found it so hard was because of my lack of strategy. While FCR does seem like a flouncy sort of game one's five-year-old sister, Curly-Sue, may enjoy playing while twirling her pigtails and donning an "I LOVE FYORA" shirt, it actually requires some strategic planning. Now now, kindly remove Curly-Sue from the room. I don't want to ruin the ~magic~ of the game for her.
Is she gone? Okay. Good. Now, between you and me, this is a great game to play to make NP. All it takes is a few minutes each day keeping your hand on the arrow pad to bag a hefty 3k NP, or 6k NP if you get lucky and it's the featured game for the day! Like I said, all you need is a good strategy. Those faeries are ruthless. They like their racing quick and dirty. That's why you have to make sure you box them in with their own bubble trails before they can box you in!
A little background info: You control the faerie you choose with the arrow pad, typically, but you can change it by going into "Options" at the start screen. The object of the game is to cause your opponent to crash before you do. Crashing is caused by hitting the edge of the screen, your own bubble trail or your opponent's bubble trail, hitting your opponent, or hitting obstacles such as the small trees and buildings that take up the equivalent of one bubble. The obstacles are not difficult to avoid. It just takes some quick button-pressing! You advance to the next level by filling two requirements: a) you do not crash three times, and b) your opponent DOES crash three times. After a crash, you and your opponent will be compared with a ratio, so make sure you focus on who has the highest number! If you crash twice, you need to sincerely watch where you're going! -gives you glasses-
First, open the game. Choose 1 player. Now, you will see a screen telling you to choose which faerie you want to represent. Here is the EXACT moment where strategy comes into play! Now, most people think "OH, how cute, let me pick my favorite faerie!" Uh, no, that's not the smartest choice to make. :3 I have played every faerie, and I can say with confidence that THE BEST one to play as is the dark faerie. "But I don't want to be a
dark faerie," you whine. Well, I'm sorry, but I have news for you… the background of this game is very lightly colored. The dark faerie's trail of bubbles is… you guessed it! Dark. It contrasts greatly against the background and is easily seen. No more confusing your trail for the background again! -glares at the Tooth Faerie- The dark faerie's bubble trail is black with tiiiiiny red spots. If you're morally opposed to Jhudorah and all things dark, another good faerie to portray is the fire faerie, but I find it much easier to be the dark faerie. The next-best faerie to play is the earth faerie, but that's pushing it. Oh dear, now I'm rambling.
You will begin immediately after choosing a faerie. You are given a count down, and then you zoom forward automatically, so be prepared! Watch your opponent closely: she will either go up or down, and then left or right. Go the opposite directions. Then, continue on until you meet the edge of the screen, but don't hit the edge of the screen or you will crash! You need to meet the edge of the screen in order to seal off your half of the playing field. Once you meet the edge, press the up arrow key. Then immediately press the opposite horizontal arrow key. For example, if you WERE traveling right, you would press the left arrow key after pressing up. Got it? Good. Travel to the other side of the screen and repeat! If you can, leave
no space between you and your previous bubble trails. Avoid obstacles and your own trail. If you sealed off the edges of the screen, your opponent should not be able to come into your half of the field. The opposing faerie is not too bright. She will most likely run into her own bubble trail or an obstacle. That is the most rewarding part of the strategy: watching your opponent box herself in. Ahh, sweet victory.
Lather, rinse, repeat for several levels. At the time of writing this, the score needed for 1k NP is 343 points. See, not so hard! I hope now you see that Faerie Cloud Racers is not a bad game for NP. In fact, I do not even find it horrendous anymore! ;D
Proofread by Cyn 4/15/09
Soapbox (Natalie)
Finding SamEliza felt all of the blood leave her face. Was Sam okay? Where was he?
Did one of the beasts in the Woods finally get to him?
She shuddered. She didn't want to even think of that being the case. Miss Meredith would know. Yes, she told herself, Miss Meredith would know where her brother was. Besides, the piece of his shirt didn't have any blood. He must be okay. Reassured, she started to turn back to the path and follow it to Miss Meredith's house, until . . .
A small, pink, hamster-like petpet with big eyes came out of the woods and grabbed the piece of cloth in its two front teeth. "Wait!" Eliza said. The petpet stared.
Eliza stared.
The petpet stared.
Eliza stared.
The petpet stared.
Eliza stared.
The petpet stared.
Eliza stared.
And as the two were staring at each other, Eliza found herself entering the Woods. No! A part of Eliza screamed. You know what is waiting in there! But that part of her was becoming smaller and smaller, as she continued to stare into the eyes of the strange pink petpet.
Meep," the petpet said.
Meep," Eliza said back.
And then she saw nothing.
----------------------
Eliza slowly awoke to a clearing in the Haunted Woods, during the daytime. She didn't even think that one existed, what with the denseness of the edge of it. Where am I? She wondered. But she didn't want to think of anything right now. Her brain was fuzzy, and every though she had made her head want to scream. Maybe if she just went back to sleep . . .
Eliza didn't even realize it when the strange, wide-eyed petpets crowded around her, or that she was far away from home.
She didn't even remember what home was.
Sleep, the petpets said with that eyes. No, she didn't want to go to sleep. She had, had to find . . .
Sleep, they said. Well, okay, maybe just a little bit of
Sleep, they said, and she slept.
----------------------
Eliza mumbled in her sleep.
Sam! The petpets said, excited.
Who?" Eliza thought.
Um. They purred, hesitantly.
No one.
Who was he?"
No one.
He must have been someone."
No one.
Yes, I think he was someone. Someone important."
No one. Sleep.
I am sleeping. And I'd quite like to wake up now."
No. Eliza woke anyway, groggily looking over the small petpets. She couldn't stay here. She needed to look for Sam. "I want to see him."
Sam is not here. Go to sleep.
Well, then I want to know where he is. He's . . . my brother." And he wasn't supposed to be here.
A brother? What's a brother?
Someone who takes care of you. Some one who makes you laugh. That's an older brother, at least." Eliza was remembering. What had made her forget?
You do not need a brother.
Eliza finally knew she needed to get out. She rose, and found the pink petpets staring at her. She was surrounded. Sleep, the petpets said. That was something Eliza would certainly not do. She needed to go away, and fast. Suddenly, however, the petpets all barred their teeth. She froze in horror, and then---
Thud! Eliza found herself being pushed out of the way as a mysterious figure fought away the petpets. He was large, and yellow, and very Skeith-y, probably because he was a skeith.
Once he was finished with the petpets, who shrank back into the Woods, he scowled.
Meepits. Kidnapping isn't below them, of course."
Meepits?" Eliza inquired. "What just happened?"
Well, see," the figure said, "they can mess with you mind. That's what the eyes are for. Creepy little things, aren't they?"
Definitely. Please, what is your name?"
Call me Robert," the Skeith said.
Okay, Robert. Could you show me the way out of here? "
Proofread by Cyn 4/24/09
So They Say (Kiyo)
LIVE AT THE ANXIOUS STUDIO, IT'S THE ONE, THE ONLY, GYKIYO. O:
Ohohohoho! It is I, Kiyo. For my next trick, I had a chance to interview the wonderful and Hokie-tastic... CYN! -applause- Here's the interroga- INTERVIEW!
What is your name?
My name is Dr. Cynneth Noisewater, HtH. But most of you know me as Cyn. ;D Dr. is just my official title, and HtH is my suffix. Kind of like MD. EXCEPT COOLER. -celebrity pout- -flashbulbs-
HOW OLD WILL YOU BE IN 35 YEARS?!
-twitch- MATH.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS?!
Honestly?? I would totally pay for my college tuition and several of my friends', like Stephanie so she could go to BoStormehhn
(editor's note: EXCUSE ME I DEFINITELY SAID BOSTON :K) College!!
-tear tear- YOU'RE SO COOL CYN!
-celebrity pout- YESYES~ But so are you Kiyo. THAT'S WHY I WOULD BUY YOU DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED COW SOCKS!!!
QUICKLY CYN! KIYO IS HAVING A NERVOUS ATTACK! What would you do to ease her twitching?! :O
I WOULD SING HER SONGS~ LIKE NIRVANA'S COVER OF "THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD"!!!!
What are your top favourite things, EVER?!
TOP WHAT?! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A NUMBER I'LL GO ON FOREVER! LIKE, N.A, CATS, MUSIC, BOB, FRIENDS, GOING TO CONCERTS, DRIVING SOMETIMES, EATING OUT, SLEEPING!!!, HAVING FREE TIME, NEOQUEST ......... -Kiyo pulls Cyn off stage with a cane-
Pomegranate Juice or Tomato Juice?
Mango Juice! MANGO JUICE!
THAT WASN'T IN THE QUESTION! :K
-pops Kiyo on the head like they do in the V8 tomato juice commercials- SHOULDA HAD A MANGO JUICE!
RANDOM QUESTION TIIIME! You had a huge zit in the middle of your nose and your dog called you Rudolph. What do you do?! :o
I would say to him "EXCUSE ME, I DO NOT HAVE A DOG, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!" and then give him a bowl of meatloaf.
How do YOU cook cookies?
It's simple, really... I take the cookie dough, roll them up into quarter-sized balls, place one on the cookie sheet, eat one, place one on the cookie sheet, eat one, and so on until there are no more left. Then I cook whatever's on the cookie sheet!!!
Bang your head on the keyboard.
uj
If you had any avatar that best describes you, which one would it be?
Ummm... hmmm... ermmm... I think the Caption Contest av. BECAUSE I AM A FUNNY BLUE GRUNDO IN SUNGLASSES, COVERING MY MOUTH.
Explain why Steph rocks.
STEPH IS AMAZING BECAUSE WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME CAREER GOALS, SHE IS A GREATTT, AWESOME FRIEND, AND SHE LOVES MANGO JUICE!!! -is really craving some fruit juice right now- xDD
What's the best thing about neo.anxious?
The best thing about neo.anxious is the bond that all of the members have. We are all so close, and we are truly a family, which is amazing. Every day I look forward to coming online and chatting.
QUICKLY CYN! LORI NEEDS YOUR HELP WITH THE RAP-OFF!
The coolest guild is n.a,
that's what I say,
we all know it's true
and we'll keep it that way.
We're all so close,
so fly and so tight,
and everybody knows
we're sooo outta sight!
We could send you an invite,
but first you gotta get right,
make sure your grammar is tight,
and then you'll be alright.
/~Zihali has more of Cyn's awesome songs. B)
Proofread by Cyn 4/15/09
Remortum (Zach)
Three years.
Almost three years Neo.Anxious had graced the neopets world with its literacy, rainbow dung, and sloth bowing. When it comes to neo.anxious however some members dedicated time and tears to further our guild. The next member in this series is the gansta, cobolt_87, Sammi. Now back in the day there were seven bagillion (approx.) Sam/Sammis/Sammy/ and then that pain in the neck Sanny, but anyhow seven bagillion. Only comparable to how many Stephanies and Stephs are in the guild currently. Sammi stood out in the crowd. First off he was a master at basically all games. This is apparent especially in his avatar count which always seemed to be the highest in the entire guild. Smart, usually online_ and always trailing behind Lori, Sammi was soon known to be "gansta" and was often personified as a pretty fly guy. Sammi was one of the first members to, after deletions, slowly sink off into the distance following the great sloth onto a small hiatus. Since then he has returned to neopets and plays regularly, without a guild. Sammi will, at least in my mind, remain the most gansta, and probably the most noticeable of Lori's minions, that ever graced neo.anxious with his presence.
Proofread by Cyn 4/22/09
Guildy Dirt (Trenn)
Erasers
As most of you don't know, April 15th, was a VERY special day. Can you guess why it was so special? Probably not. :P That's okay, though. 'Cos, I'm going to tell you. What? Get on with it, you say? -.- Fine, don't get your pants in a bunch. Okay...*drumroll*
April 15th was....
RUBBER ERASER DAY!!!
*cheers*
And, of course, you /all/ know how important that erasers are to us.
Wait...WHAT?! You don't?! ...Oh, you were just joking. -.-'
Good.
Erasers have always stuck with us, it is a part that makes us N.Aer's, N.Aer's. :)
So, where do you stand on the big eraser debate? Do you LOVE pink erasers? Or are you one that is anti-pink? Love them, or hate them, it's still an obsession. xD But, on April 15th, we can celebrate any eraser! Pink, or non-pink. Even if you're new to N.A, or one of those oldies. B) Once you're in N.A, the love for erasers sticks with you, no matter what. And, I'm sure most of you agree with me.
Recently, in the N.A Awards Ceremony, Kaye (obviously), won the title of "Best Pink Eraser Supporter", a great honour. As well as Sheshi, winning the, "Best Supporter of Non-Pink Erasers".
Where did this eraser craze start? One thing is for sure, is that, it won't end.
Proofread by Cyn 4/23/09
Dear Mr. Muggles
Hello Mr. Muggles, with the new layout and all... what's your stance with meepit and feepit, who do you think will win? Also what do erasers have to do with that.
-RamblingMeepitFan8675309
Dear RamblingMeepitFan8675309,
This layout is quite obviously a metaphor for the long-forgotten, yet ongoing_ eraser war. There are two sides: pro-pink and anti-pink. The members chose their sides. For example, Kaye, Jayme, and Cyn are excellent supporters of pink erasers. Sheshi and Esslar are great supporters of two anti-pink colors, purple and blue, respectively. In conclusion, meepits and feepits are both peons and are not even an important part of Neopia.
-is chased away by Bex's meepit army-
What's the eraser war? When did it start? What colors are involved? Who's on what side? o.O
~New and Confused
Dear New and Confused,
The eraser war has been going on since time began. Pink erasers were the first erasers one could buy. Slowly but surely, other colors, such as blue and purple, began emerging, attempting to overthrow the monopoly that pink erasers had on the eraser industry. Blue, purple, and green erasers and their supporters banded together to form the anti-pink side. To help bolster the defenses of the pink erasers, the pinks and their supporters allied with the orange and white erasers, thus forming the pro-pink side. Some key leaders for the pro-pinks are Kaye, Cyn, Cassie (founder of the orange erasers), and Rach. Key leaders for the anti-pinks are Sheshi and Esslar, undoubtedly.
Everyone seems to be the mother and the daughter and the cousin and the aunt and the father and the niece and the wife and the ex-wife of everyone else. How can we sort through this so it makes sense? Is there a family tree we could refer to? o.O
~Family tied
Dear Family tied,
I once undertook the great, great task of constructing a family tree. However, it cannot be done. I say this because I, Mr. Muggles the most competent Grundo, could not do it. Everyone randomly decides to adopt someone here, and marry someone there, and have multiple spouses. It gets so crazy. –grumbles- And then we find out that Donnie and SM had a fling in Vegas but he is actually her step-great-grandfather or something… -ahem- Anyway, I apologize, but this is one huge mess that cannot be sorted out. Believe me, I have tried.
WHY IS YOUR NAME MR. MUGGLES?
~MILDLY CURIOUS
Dear Mildly Curious,
My name is Mr. Muggles because my surname is Muggles and I am a male Grundo, so you may address me as Mr. Muggles. My first name? Oh, that's of no interest to you. Shoo.
Why is Twilight such an epic fail?
-Twilight Needs Chocolate.
Dear Twilight Needs Chocolate,
I feel that I may be biased because I do not appreciate any literature other than
The Odyssey, Gone With The Wind, War and Peace, Pride and Predjudice, and Shakespeare's sonnets. Seeing as Twilight does not fall under any of these categories, I am afraid I cannot answer your question.
Dear Mr. Muggles, why is Zach the dancing queen?
- Steph
Dear Steph,
Zach is the dancing queen because he loves weddings, and everyone knows that every good wedding has a fancy wedding reception. Zach enjoys being the bride, so at this fancy wedding reception, he must dance at least 3.14159 times more than the average attendee. It is hard for one NOT to become the dancing queen when one dances at weddings as much as Zach does.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Why don't you ever sign your name when you answer your questions?
- Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Should I? I feel as though my readers should be intelligent enough to understand that it is I, Mr. Muggles, who is answering their questions! After all, they are addressed to me when Cyn hands me the letters. Do you sign your name to every neomail you send out? You shouldn't, because the identity of the sender should be obvious.
Just for you,
Mr. Muggles.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
I heard a rumor somewhere that flying monkeys deliver your questions in the mail. Is this true?
- Flying Monkey Maniac
Dear Flying Monkey Maniac,
No. This is not true. We all know that monkeys cannot fly, unless one is in the jungles of Borneo, and then that is quite a different tale indeed. My mail containing these questions is delivered to me personally by our wonderful editor, Cyn. She receives them in her mailbag, puts them in a dainty little pile tied with an orange ribbon (because I rather like orange), and hands them to me, Mr. Muggles, so that I can sort through them myself. No flying monkeys involved, I regret to inform you.
Proofread by Cyn 4/15/09
Gamer's Corner (Victoria)
SNOT SPLATTER
First important thing to say, "Eww!" I mean seriously, what is with TNT and all the gross games coming out? Really, Snot Splatter, Barf Boat, and who knows what else they will come out with. Other games are getting progressively meaner and creepier. Really, Petpet Plunge? What is with that creepier dude in the picture?
Now that I am done ranting, the objective of this game is actually pretty interesting. You make the blob of snot (eww) bigger and bigger until it explodes and droplets of snot move out in four directions (up, down, left, and right). That itself is rather easy. To get more points you create chain reactions: this one explodes and its droplets cause this one to explode and so on. Still quite simple. No? Of course not, TNT likes making games with multiple difficulties. You have a limited number of snot droplets available to you. You get more by making chain reactions. And if making chain reactions isn't difficult enough as the levels progress, the game board changes. Wooden boxes absorb snot. Wooden triangles change the direction of the snot. Use the triangles to your advantage.
And since no game is complete without power-ups, Snot Splatter has a total of six power-ups. I explain the power-ups going top down to their correlation on the side bar. On the top, the box of nine squares completely eliminates the snot blobs in those nine boxes. Next, the vertical line eliminates all snot blobs in a vertical line. The horizontal line destroys all snot blobs in a horizontal line. The two droplets are just that. Instead of dropping one drop of snot, you drop two, and it continues to be 2 drops to everyone droplet until the chain ends. The times-two multiplier is exactly what it says. It multiplies your points by two. Lastly, there are the whirlpools. These act like portals, transporting droplets that enter them to the other portal. These are useful, but confusing. As droplets move through them, they get smaller and smaller until they disappear.
I actually like this game. I think it is fun. It doesn't get you a ton of neopoints, but it is one of the better puzzle games that have come out from TNT. Like all the new games, it has no avatar, but I am not sure I would want a snot meerca avatar anyways. I still say "Eww!" Can you beat me? You probably can, I've only scored 12,779.
Proofread by Cyn 5/6/09
Listen to Lola
Ah...summer is almost here! So this month, I've asked that all the questions that I make up- I mean get are summer related. And you listened!
5+5= -Lost in Math
Sadly, I'm not your homework helper. But the answer is 3910293278302084830. Yes, you can check. Hopefully you just forgot the exponents and other important things so I just added them in when I calculated it.
Edit: It looks like most of the world thinks the equation 5+5 actually equals 10. I'm not sure where this oddly wrong answer came from but I'm sure to get to the bottom of it!
Now the real summer questions begin...
My favorite season is winter. -Hopelessly Lost and Confused
Interesting. Looks like you like school, the flu, cold snow, and having to don a hat and mittens every time you go outside. NOW I NEED SUMMER QUESTIONS!
What's your favorite flavor of Ice Cream?-Personal Person
Okay...that was a little personal. But I love Cookie Dough and that really big sundae at Baskin Robbins....Mmmh. What's YOUR favorite flavor?
When does Summer start?-Not Counting the Days
JUNE LUFF! JUNE FOURTH HERE, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU! -end random caps-
Summer really begins when school is over/when it's extremely humid and warm outside.
1+1=
NO MORE MATH!
Well this is going quite nicely, I've gotten about 2 summer questions and a couple of math ones...
WHERE ARE THE MEEPITS? -QUEEN BEX
MEEP MEEP I WILL COMPLY MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEPY
Sorry about that...
How long is summer break? -Waiting for it to End
In most places summer break is around 2 and 1/2 months. Some places have only a few weeks, but most Traditional Schools in North America follow the 2 1/2 month schedule. Ask your local school for information pertaining to your own schedule.
WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR IT TO END? I never thought this question would be asked.
Is summer always warm? -True Aussie
No, it actually isn't. In Australia and countries in the Southern Hemisphere it is actually winter for them. But since I haven't actually lived there, I don't know how summer break works.
Well I gotta get my swimsuit! It's time for a surf!
Toodles and more next time, this is Lol-a! signing out!
Proofread by Cyn 5/17/09
Poetry (Stormehh)
Dice-a-Roo: A Poem
By Stormehh
Click click click click click
-"You add a single neopoint to your pot!"
Well isn't that great? I always win a lot.
Click click click click click
-"Phew! Nearly! You nearly had game over!"
I'm glad I bought that five leaf clover.
Click click click click click
-"Well done; good roll. You proceed to the next die!"
Uh oh, I've depleted my lucky item supply.
Click click click click click
-"Oh dear; very bad throw. You lose 5 neopoints!"
Yes, this game always disappoints.
Click click click click click
-"Nothing happens at all. Honestly."
Awesome, I think sarcastically.
Click click click click click
-"(Don't worry, your pot can't go below zero!)"
I'm in a pickle now; Lady Luck, be my hero.
Click click click click click
-"Oh dear, that means Game Over!"
Stupid Lady Luck, I'll show her... :K
Proofread by Melf 5/12/09
Guildy Dirt (Loc)
The guild is based of the Council and Sub-Council, they are wise, powerful, and... well... a bit scary at times. But what REALLY goes on in the heads of our leaders? I decided to take a risk and find out. First up, the Newspaper Committee Head herself. Cynneth P. Noisewater. (EDITOR'S NOTE: IT'S DR. CYNNETH NOISEWATER, HtH ACTUALLY. :K)
Loc says:
Okay
So, Cyn, you run the NC. Why?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
LYSS TOLD ME TO~ But it's okay because I love it. I love writing and newspapers are really my thing. People think that being head of the NC is an easy job, but it's really not. There is a lot of stuff I have to do.
Loc says:
Okay so, you eat small children, right?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
No, I do believe that's /you/ that does that, Loc...
Loc says:
Oh yeah
So what makes you tick Cyn?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
It's hard to say. There's not much that 'makes me tick.'
Loc says:
FINE BE HARD TO INTERVIEW. ((Note to readers, she obviously does not like to cooperate))
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
I like to cooperate!
Loc says:
((Note: The interviewee is now getting violent))
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
I was never hurting you to begin with! -pets- Well, I remember in my first days, Kaye and Lori would fight over me. =D EVERYONE LOVED ME~ IT WAS AWESOMEEEE. Except I used to think Jayme hated me! x) AHAHAHA.
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
Um... well, you actually USED to intimidate me. x) -pets-
Loc says:
What changed that? What made you fall in love with me?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
Who said I was in love with you?! O.o
Loc says:
It's so obvious Cyn.
You don't have to hide it.
((Note the interviewee
is trying to hide their true feelings))
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
-.- I'm not hiding anything.
Loc says:
Of course...
So then, when did you decide to try and get a subcouncil seat?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
Well, I decided to apply for the AC in the last election. Stephanie and I made it, and I was really excited because I was really eager to better serve the guild. ^^
Loc says:
Why do like eating dead people?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
There is no subject in that sentence so I'm afraid I'm too ill-equipped to answer. o.o
Loc says:
Why wear pants?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
Creepy pants, get some. Maybe parachute, maybe clown care.
Loc says:
So what goes on behind the scenes of N.A?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
I'm afraid I'm not authorized to tell you that~ let's just say it involves LOTS of Sloth and Cheez-Its. -shifty eyes-
Loc says:
C'mon, just a little, not for me for the people.
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
THERE HAS BEEN SOME BANGING OF SHOES ON TABLES AT CONFERENCES, A LA NIKITA KHRUSCHEV~
Loc says:
I see...
What keeps you motivated?
DUCKS?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
Motivated to do my job as NC head or motivated in general?
Loc says:
IS IT DUCKS?
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
IT'S NOT DUCKS.
Loc says:
IT'S DUCKS!!!
CYN it all comes back to you. says:
OKAY FINE IT'S DUCKS.
QUACK~
Loc says:
Sweet
So, as we clearly see, Cyn is crazy. She lost her mind and took on responsibilities that she may manage well, but do NOT initiate conversation with her. Stay clear and maybe you can keep your sanity too. Wait for next month with a new victim er... interviewee.
Proofread by Cyn 5/19/09
Soapbox (Cyn)
~ "Lara isn't here?" asked Dara, her voice in a low panic. The other faeries began to draw their attention to the sisters. Dara glanced on either side of her. Lara was nowhere to be found.
Mara began to feel panicked as well. "No, she's not! Oh my gosh, Mom and Dad will KILL us!" She smacked her forehead. "How could we have let this happen, Dara? What if something happens to her?"
Dara dashed towards her sister and grabbed her shoulders. "It's a grim situation," she said honestly, "but if there's anyone I know who's level-headed enough to handle it, it's you, Mara." Mara was impressed with Dara's good outlook on the situation, despite declaring it "grim."
A light faerie came forward. Her name was Penelope. "We'll help you find her, you know," she offered. "With all of us faeries on the lookout, we'll find Lara quickly. She can't have gotten far. She's only a baby, after all." The rest of the faeries agreed.
Mara smiled, and Dara half-smiled. The faeries and the sisters began to concoct a plan.
~~~
Dara, Baelia, and a water faerie, Astrid, walked through Faerie City, shouting for Lara. As Astrid asked a bystander if he had seen a Baby Wocky come by, Dara let out a big sigh. "It's all my fault, Baelia. If it hadn't been for me, Lara wouldn't have gotten away."
Baelia's sorrowful eyes looked down at her own feet. "It's just as much my fault, you know. I was supposed to be helping you." She matched Dara's sigh. "I guess we're both to blame here…"
Astrid ran up excitedly. "Guys! He's seen Lara!" She practically exuded bubbles as she pointed to the Kyrii, who waved at the group. "He said she was given a balloon by the library! She might be there! Come on!"
~~~
As Dara, Baelia, and Astrid searched high and low throughout Faerie City, Mara, Penelope, and an air faerie, Celia, searched the shops on the outskirts of the City. "I wonder where she could be," Celia said, floating above the group. "If I'm up here, maybe I can see her more easily," she suggested.
Mara looked cheerful. "You are such helpful faeries, you know!" Her wings fluttered. "We'll find Lara in no time." There was a short silence as the group approached the Faerie Foods shop. "But you know, I bet Dara blames herself." Mara let a rare sigh escape her mouth.
Penelope hung her head. "I'm sure Baelia blames herself as well. Astrid will keep them in check, though… she's happy enough for the both of them."
At least that's ONE cheery thought!" Mara exclaimed happily. "Astrid's the happiest faerie I know. We did well sending her off with my sister and Baelia!"
~~~
Baelia crossed her arms. "If Astrid starts humming again, I swear…"
Dara continued looking at her feet. "How could I have let this happen?"
Hmph, Baelia scoffed. "Yes, how could you have let
Astrid come with us?"
Dara looked at her friend with sorrowful eyes. "You know I mean my sister. Remember her? Lara? The whole reason we're not still just sitting in that field, making daisy chains and waiting for the other faeries to finish their games?"
Baelia looked even sadder than before. "I'm sorry, Dare. You know we're going to find her… I promise."
Here we are!" Astrid chirped. "The library! Oh, I hope someone's seen Lara! I have such a good feeling about this place!" Baelia and Dara followed Astrid up the stairs. Astrid was skipping joyfully, but Baelia and Dara looked more like they were walking to a funeral march.
TO BE CONTINUED
Proofread by Cyn 5/21/09
Soapbox (DJ)
Marco the mutant Usul had had a bad day at Neoschool. The other pupils had called him ugly, smelly, and all the other names they always called him. His owner hadn't obtained enough neopoints to buy a paintbrush or potion, which would make him look like a respectable Neopet. He used to be a green usul and lived with Lord Pontelprune of Maraqua, before the great war. Pontelprune treated Marco with care and protection, and fed him amazing feasts, feasts fit for a king. Marco had felt wanted for the first time in his life. He had lots of friends at the school he went to, and was very happy.
Then things started to go wrong. During the war between the Pirate Warriors and the Maraquan Warriors, his home and his life were both destroyed. Lord Pontelprune had decided that he was going to act and protect his beloved Maraqua. He enlisted with the Maraquan Warriors and fought at all the great battles. One night, as cannons boomed around the little Neohome that Pontelprune had built for Marco, the Lord went out to protect the borders. He never returned.
Not soon after, the Neopets protection services put him in the pound.
"That way, you'll find a loving owner who will treat you the same way Lord Pontelprune did. Don't worry, everything will be alright," they said. Lies, all of it. He stayed in the pound for seven months before someone finally adopted him and took him out of that nasty place. But that still wasn't nice for poor Marco. The owner was a poor, bedraggled old man, who had lived a hard life and liked to take it out on other people. He came to the pound to look for a Neopets to help him earn money, and chose Marco. He hadn't treated Marco very well at all but still fed him and made sure he survived.
Here's how all the trouble started. One day, a Tonu was busily eating neggs under a tree, not realizing he was making his Neggitus worse. Marco was hopping along, whistling to himself, when he saw the silly Tonu and went over too him.
You look ill," said Marco.
No, no, I just feel a bit sick," said the old Tonu.
Could I have one of your neggs, cause I'm really hungry?" asked Marco.
Yeah, sure. I won't get through all of these," replied the old Tonu. He picked up a Speckled Negg off his pile, sneezed on it, and handed it to Marco.
Here you are!" he said. The Tonu was violently sick. Marco, not realizing the Tonu had sneezed on it, thanked him heartily and went on his way, chomping at the deliciously germy Negg.
He went off to Neoschool, and sat alone on a bench at lunchtime, finishing off his Negg. The other Neopets looked at it longingly, but were too snooty to ask for a bit. They knew that Marco would share, because he'd do anything for friends, but they didn't want to be seen with such an outcast, a shameful pet to be seen with. He was the poor pet, the pet that could hardly afford to go to Neoschool. The straggler, who followed the cool pets around, in hope that they would invite him into their gang.
Lunch passed and Marco began to feel a bit woozy. When he fainted in the last lesson of the day, he was sent to see the school nurse. The nurse, a friendly Christmas Zafara took pity on Marco, because she knew he came from a poor background, and that his owner could not afford to keep him healthy and well fed. She asked him what the problem was. He threw up on her clean crisp apron.
Ok, I'll just change my apron and then we'll get you diagnosed." She winked at Marco, and shoved her icky apron into a washing pile. She took another fresh one of a rack and then went to get a thermometer. After about half an hour of testing and questioning, the nurse had found out what was wrong with Marco.
NEGGITUS!"cried his owner, "YOU'VE CAUGHT NEGGITUS!"
Uuummm, yessss?" whimpered Marco.
Well, that's this week's pocket money down the drain," sighed his owner. Marco burst into tears.
Oh stop crying, I'll find you a cure!" cried his owner. Over the next weeks, Marco's Neggitus got worse. The doctors were baffled. A Neggitus injection wouldn't work. They tried everything. Until one day, Marco woke up as usual, looked in the mirror, and screamed.
AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"
Stop that racket!" called his owner.
My face, my beautiful face!!!" whined Marco.
What is it now, spilled some hair gel?" asked his owner sarcastically.
I've, I've turned mutant!"
Ha, yeah, right."
Come and see if you don't believe me."
Ok then...OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!"
What can I do?" asked Marco, in tears.
There's not much you can do."
Why not?" he sniffed.
Because the only way to change you from being a mutant is to paint you with a very expensive paint brush or make you drink a morphing potion. We simply haven't got enough neopoints!"
And no more was said.
Marco got bullied every single day for a whole year before he finally decided that he could not take it any more. He was never going to school again. He walked home sulkily and went up and sat on his bed.
Marco!" called his owner.
What do you want?" replied Marco sadly.
Come down here, I have a surprise for you."
Marco slowly plodded down the stairs, dragging his mutated tail behind him.
Cheer up. I think I've been treating you a bit to badly lately, and today, I've decided to give you a treat. I think you'll really like this treat."
What is it?"
Follow me." Marco followed his owner out of the house and they teleported to Faerieland. Then, they walked along to the rainbow pool, where the Fountain Faerie was soaking her tail.
Good morning, what can I do for you?" asked the faerie.
Ummm, I completed your quest this morning," replied Marco's owner.
Aaahhh, yes," said the Fountain Faerie.
Now, who's getting painted?"
My best friend, Marco," said Marco's owner, proudly.
Go on, tell her which colour you want to be!"
Ummmm, chocolate please," said Marco, timidly.
The Fountain Faerie ushered him into the Rainbow Pool.
Half an hour later, Marco was the happiest Neopet in all of Neopia. He was a chocolate Usul and he loved his owner more than anyone in the world.
But how did you complete the quest?" asked Marco after his makeover.
Faeries can detect unfortunate neopians and they choose them to receive the blessing once the quest is completed. They chose us. I only had to get her a Scarab Cookie and I had one of them in the jar."
Thank you so much!"
No problem."
Marco went back to school the next day, eager to show the people who had mocked him how lucky he was. They were amazed by the transformation and all wanted to be his friend. Marco was happy again.
Proofread by Melf 5/20/09
Soapbox (Natalie)
Finding Sam
~"There is no way to get out of the Wood, miss, and be sure that that is what you want to do, to find your brother. You'd need to have help from a faerie for that. Preferably a nice one, too. Those dark faeries aren't nothing but trouble."
~"Do you know of any faeries around here?" Eliza wasn't completely sure what a faerie was; she'd never seen one. But she had heard the stories. The faeries, when they matured, chose to use a particular element as their natural power source. While some decided on odd items, like teeth or neggs (one of the most delectable fruits in Neopia), the primary alignments were earth, fire, water, air, light, and dark. Only the nastiest faeries chose to fuel their spells with darkness, and they would always trick those who tried to bargain with them.
~"No, I don't. I know somewhere we might be able to find one, though."
As they trudged through the Woods, avoiding any signs of Meepits, odd noises or weird shuffling sounds, they found another clearing, just big enough to hold a trolley, which was, in fact, what it held. The trolley was of a modest size, but, as she climbed into it at Robert's invitation, she found that the inside was even more packed. The entire area was filled with chests of drawers; some large, some small, some so tiny that Eliza doubted that even her tiny thumb would fit into them. The chests all pointed towards a narrow column, presumably for walking through, but she thought that the Skeith might not fit.
~"Yes, well, home sweet home and all that." Robert said.
~"Are you a traveler?" Eliza shuffled in her seat awkwardly.
~"Oh, yes. A trader, too." Robert saddled up the reins, which were hooked up to … nothing. That would have been the next question on Eliza's lips, but then, she reasoned, it was probably faerie magic.
~"I trade everything. Toothbrushes, sweaters, you name it. We're going to see a specific dealer in, erm, bottles."
~"Bottles?"
~"Well, sort of."
~"Why sort of?" Eliza was beginning to wonder how shady this dealer of bottles was. Then, "Is he in a Black Market?"
~"No, miss. The only one I know of is very far from here. Owned by someone named Ayan, if I remember correctly." He chuckled.
~"No," Robert continued, "He is a merchant. He had a little mishap a while back with a dark faerie, and so now he gets vengeance by bottling and selling any faerie he finds."
That seemed like quite a sick job to Eliza, and probably a sick person besides, but she was very determined to get her brother back, and if it meant dealing (no pun intended) with the Bottle Dealer, she would be willing to do it.
--------------------
The two rode for about an hour exchanging stories. Robert had apparently visited Neovia before, back when it was a ghostown, and had not ventured further. He seemed very interested in what Eliza had to say about the daily life there.
In return, Robert told her stories about his adventures all over the world. He had, once, traveled all the way to Terror Mountain and stolen five whole neggs from the Snowager's cave—all at once.
~"And I had only gotten a small scratch from that," Robert said, pointing to a scar on his knee. "As I rushed to leave, I cut my leg on one of the needles at the end of its tail. I couldn't yelp at all, you see, or else it would've woke. And we don't want that." He chuckled darkly.
~"Ah, here we are. He should be here any moment now."
Proofread by Cyn 5/19/09
So They Say (Kiyo)
LIVE AT THE NEO.ANXIOUS STUDIO: GYKIYO'S SO THEY SAAAY. -applause-
THANK YOU AND WELCOME! :D Today we are making TOFU! -prances around-
-person runs on stage-
WHAT?! THIS ISN'T READY STEADY COOK!? O.o;;
Aaaaah, okay. I see. :O MY BAD!
And today, ladies and gentlefish, we are going to be interviewing the DJ Dinosaur of neo.anxious, ZIA! -more applause-
So, please introduce yourself. ;D
Well... I am the DJ Ziasaurus of NA. But I'm known to the world as Zia. Well... at least the Neopian world. I am the only one in Neo.Anxious who knows how to speak in smiley talk thanks to Zach. I enjoyed eating bananas before they killed me and made me mute. I absolutely loathe being called "Techno" -glares at Melf- and my all-time idol is Kiyo. She's this really awesome person who you've probably never heard of. I especially love her shoes. ;D
-flatteredflattered @___@- And how old will you be when the world is dominated by monkeys?
Sadly, I will be Q years old. :(
How do you pronounce Q? :o
Knee-oh-ank-shuss. :)
What is your favourite colour and why?
Okay, I'm going to try to answer this question like a civilized person. Here goes. -deep breath- I like orange because it is the color of oranges and caution cones. These make me happy. Especially when I see a caution cone. The orangeness of it makes me want to put on top of my head and sing songs.
ANDIT'STHECOLOROFKIYO'SAVATAR!
Ngehehehe. :D WHY DO YOU LIKE CAPS?
WHY DO I LIKE CAPS? I LIKE CAPS BECAUSE THEY ARE FUN TO WEAR ON YOUR HEAD. WHY CALL THEM HATS, IF YOU CAN CALL THEM CAPS? I HAVE A CAP THAT HAS MICKEY MOUSE EARS COMING OUT OF THE TOP AND I GLUED A DINOSAUR ACTION FIGURE ON TOP IN BETWEEN THE TWO EARS. THEN I ATTACHED A ZIASAURUS TAIL AND A KIYANNI FRUIT. I WEAR IT EVERYDAY. @_@
A KIYANNY FRUIT FAN! SANNY, GET HER A BADGE! :D Moving on, define the word... anxious.
YAY! I GET A BADGE! anxious |ˈa ng (k) sh əs| 1 experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome :
Also, part of the name of the greatest guild to ever be made in Neopia. Only the coolest of the coolest of the coolest join NA.
CHYEEAAH. B) What's your favourite avatar and why? ^^
I absolute love the avatar with the Pant Devil crying on it. I'm not so sure what is called. The fact that such an evil being can cry gives me hope that one day, Stormehh can be reduced to tears as well. So far, my plan to negate M-Rots's evilness hasn't worked. But hopefully, one day, I will teach Stormehh to be as small and helpless as a... as.... well... as the Pant Devil! Ohburrrn. xD
RANDOM QUESTION TIIIIME! Who do you think America's Next top Model will be?
Well, I don't watch ANTM, (gasp) but I just looked it up and seeing as what everyone else thinks on the ANTM forum, I believe Allison is going to win! ;D But, I think there are more deserving shows to watch than America's Next Top Model. xP
What is your favourite neopet?
WELLLL..... My all-time favorite pet is a UC Faerie Draik. -dies- SO PRETTY. @_@ But seeing as that is never going to happen, I guess I'll settle for a tie between Mara Ixis/Gelerts. Both of which, I have! ^o^
MAKE A RAP ABOUT NA! :D
WOOT! -pokes a rap I already wrote- Can I use that one, because it is pretty cool?
This is Zia saying... "Steve. B)"
Proofread by Melf 5/12/09
Inspiration (Zach)
Once again I am the last one writing my article for the newspaper. I guess it is not that surprising to some of you. I have to apologize deeply for not being online_ nearly at all, for the past few weeks. They have been tough and I hope at least some of you understand. I know they are lame excuses but y'all are just going to have to deal with it. So when thinking about what I was going to write this article about I decided on talking about what I have been doing these past weeks that have been keeping me so busy. Well, as a student in high school there are many things that we must go through that are not fun. AP tests, normal tests, teachers, drama, macaroni and cheese day, locker jams, fire drills and more only contribute to the mass chaos of life. However there is something towards the end of the year even more daunting. Saying goodbye. I am friends with a bunch of upperclassmen (Juniors and Seniors). Sometimes I think that this is because I have a strong personality and most of the people in my class either love me or hate me for it. Upperclassmen just seem to understand me more. Naturally since I have many senior friends I should be very depressed around this time. Now last year I was really depressed. I think I cried once during school when a friend was writing in my yearbook (I know. Such a wimp.) This year I dedicated myself not to cry. Instead I have focused on something better then a sobby yearbook entry. I have deemed myself the "Best day of my life" person. I have been going around and spending tons of time with seniors at different events, parties, and hangouts trying to get them to remember me not by just a stupid page in a yearbook but by some great memories, laughs, and maybe a few pictures. I think it is working. So far I have had seniors laugh till they cry with me around, or just cry but we won't think of that as a possibility. It is these memories that I know I will treasure forever, and maybe help me hold back my post graduation depression. So what is this long reflection article about? As the school year ends grab some friends and make "a best day of your life." It is worth the effort and last a lifetime. Go out and live a little and don't be afraid of making a fool of yourself. As I read in a siggie somewhere lately: "Life is too short, and the good times don't all fit."
Proofread by Cyn 5/20/09
Guildy Dirt (Trenn)
So, this is how this newspaper article it will work. Right here, is half the story, and next month, it will be the other half. And, at the end (Though, it may be obvious), you all will choose who you think the mafia is. And, maybe you will be awarded some PP. ;)
It was the second day on the deserted island. On the previous day, the members of N.A found themselves on the island. Stormehh, walked along the sandy beach, and thought of a way to get rescued, or to get off the island alive. He decided that they had to start from the beginning, and actually bring some order to the island. He called together everyone and proposed the idea to have elections of who should be leader. Almost unanimously, the members voted Stormehh, as he would be best for the job. ;)
The day after Stormehh was elected, he appointed certain jobs for different people, all of which would help them get off the island. Kate's job was to find fruit, and pick them. She wandered the forest on the island until she came to a tree that had some fruit on it. Kate reached up and gasped. "Mangoes!" She exclaimed, and literally cleaned the tree of all the fruit. While she was gathering all of the fruit, something behind her caught her eye. She went to go see what it was she saw, and what she saw nearly scared her to death. It was Zi! She was not alive. Kate ran to tell Stormehh and the others. Stormehh looked shocked at the news, and proposed an idea that would help them get rid of the person who'd done this to Zi, or mafia, on the island. He suggested that they vote on who they think is the mafia. There was much going on, Jayme voted for Zia, and Zia voted for Jayme. And, it got nowhere. Victoria accused Loc. Then, Melf voted for Natalie, and it went downhill from there, for poor Natalie. Stormehh told Natalie to swim away from the island. All Natalie was given, was a pair of water-wings, and there were sharks in the water...
That night, everyone was asleep in the handmade huts that the members had made. Everyone was fast asleep, except Victoria and Zia. They were tending to the fire, as that was their job. Victoria and Zia were chatting, and having a good time. Zia got up to get a mango from the basket, which was just around the corner from the fire. When Zia got back, she looked over and only saw Victoria's flip flop! And she looked back in the other direction and saw two people in dark clothing running away -- The mafia! Victoria had been pushed into the fire! It was too late; she was gone. Zia ran to Stormehh to tell him what had happened. And, again, like the last time, the people of N.A voted, but this time, getting rid of two people, since there were two mafia. In the end, Kate and Neptune were voted off, and were pushed off a cliff. ):
But, is the mafia still out there? Tune in next time for the conclusion of this mafia story. xD
Proofread by Cyn 5/24/09
Research (Victoria)
The world according to Kiyo. "The world is a cuboid." thus started the conversation that would change the view of neo.anxiousians on the world. Where were the corners? Why did we call it a sphere? I interviewed Kiyo to find out.
Atlantis is actually a corner of the cuboid along with Mu. But because humans shaped the world to be round, it is no longer a cuboid. The end."
This is all Kiyo would say on the matter. When further questioned her, she said ask NASA. As if NASA would tell us the truth. Kiyo seemed to know a lot about NASA…
Kiyo further said that NA was in NASA. Was she referring to us being a branch of NASA? Some horrible experiment? Or was she referring to the lettering? If we were a branch of NASA wouldn't they have told us of our cuboid world? This is Kiyo's final statement on the matter:
That the cuboid world has many mysteries.
Why does the world have 7 continents? Why not more?
Why does Stormehh's name have two h's?
What NA has in connection with NASA?
And why did the chicken cross the road?"
Huh, that was helpful Kiyo. What does it mean? How does Stormehh's name having two h's have to do with our cuboid world? What is the significance of chickens? When will we live in a world where chickens will not have their motives questioned? Where do Kiyo's loyalties lie?
Proofread by Cyn 5/19/09
Neopian Advice (Melcome)
Why does Lori have a cheez-it obsession? -Cheesy Chad
Dear Cheesy Chad,
The answer is quite simple, really. Cheez-its give Lori superpowers. Plus, she just loves them! I mean, who could not love them? They are super cheesy!
Does Jelly World REALLY exist? -Jelly Lover
Dear Jelly Lover,
What I am about to share with you is top secret, only a few people truly know. Of course, I am one of them. Jelly world is TNT's experiment to see if a world made of jelly could last. Their meaning of last is by having it not consumed. Yes, Jelly world does exist, although TNT won't talk about it publicly. Just know that eventually we could be living together in a jelly world!
Is it Stormehh, or Mehh? -Confused Nicknamer
Dear Confused Nicknamer,
Depends on what you feel like calling him. Our leader will answer to both, so don't be afraid to call him Stormehh or Mehh. Just know he is the Stormehh Natorr!
Where do sloth minions come from? -Slothy Q
Dear Slothy Q,
If I explained to you exactly where they come from, know that you would be scarred for life. They come from......um err. Well... You really, really don't want to know. Trust me, I found out and I haven't been the same in three years.
Why does your name Melcome rhyme with welcome? -Randy rhyme
Dear Randy rhyme,
Well since they both end in elcome, its only natural they would rhyme. If you want a further answer you would have to talk to my mother. I mean, after all, she named me. Although, she doesn't answer her phone after 9:31am. She does answer her phone between 9:30am-9:31am. Just be quick about it. Call 1-800-Melcome's-super-de-duper-awesome-mother. XD
Why is Trenn such a MEGAERAGONLOVER? -Nosy Nelly
Dear Nosy Nelly,
The answer to your question can only be found through the path of reading the books of ultimate awesomeness. Like Trenn, I am a MEGAERAGONLOVER, too! I'm guessing you want it short, sweet, and simple though. Trenn likes, no, LOVES, the series. That's it...pretty simple, right?
Why is rainbow dung rainbow? -Random Rainbow
Dear Random Rainbow,
The neopet that created this fine piece of amazing awesome artwork drank a rainbow morphing potion. Lets just say the morphing potion didn't exactly work. It's still leaving rainbow masterpieces throught neopia due to the wrong side effects of the potion.
Why does Christopher Columbus have radioactive pants? -Mr. Pants
Dear Mr. Pants,
Why wouldn't Christopher Columbus have radioactive pants? I think you're just wishing you had a pair of those awesome radioactive pants. I'll tell you where to get some. Radioactive Outlet. That's where I got mine! Oh, you have to buy a pair of their radioactive socks, too!
Why is the Neopia sky blue? -Unknown
Dear Unknown,
The Neopia sky is blue due to the large amounts of Faeries in Faerieland wearing their favorite color, blue, since Faerieland floats up in the sky, all we see is the blue clothing they wear. Or, it could be that the Virtupets Space Station is showering Neopia with items that are all blue. Either way, the sky is still blue.
Why don't the faeries want us to use the shop wizard on their quests? - Curious Cyn
Dear Curious Cyn,
The reason the faeries often give us is that it is considered cheating. They want us to honestly look for the item they need. What I don't understand is why they can't do it themselves...
Proofread by Melf 5/19/09
Dear Mr. Muggles
Dear Mr Muggles,
As an anonymous inquirer, I ask many questions of little importance, such as this: if you placed a giant mirror hundreds of light years away in space, pointed at the Earth, then looked at the mirror through a telescope, could you look back into Earth's history? I understand that if this is true, such a revelation would cripple the history textbook industry.
Yours Sincerely,
An Anonymous Inquirer (Stormehh)
Dear Stormehh,
No. Codswallop. Poppycock. Nonsense!
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Was it YOU who mobbed the winner of Eurovision?!
- Eurovision Fan
Dear Eurovision Fan,
It was not I. Being a proud citizen of Neopia, I cannot be bothered with this…
Eurovision of which you speak. Having said that, my indifference makes my innocence quite obvious.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
How do you use fish as a weapon?
- Fish Fan
Dear Fish Fan,
How
doesn't one use a fish as a weapon? One can smack his or her opponent, one can wave it about in the air menacingly, one can load the fish into a catapult and shoot it, and one can even make it a bomb. But I shan't get into ~that~ one. How gruesome.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
WHAT IS STORMEHH'S REAL NAME?!?!
- Obsessed
Dear Obsessed,
I am not authorized to give that information, but rest assured, I KNOW AND YOU DON'TTTT, HA HA HA HA HAAAA HAAAAAA! –taunts-
Dear Mr. Muggles,
What happens if you have no neopoints but a ghost steals your neopoints?
- Quite Poor
Dear Quite Poor,
Such a paradoxical situation that you present to me today. If a ghost steals your neopoints but you have none, obviously you will go into negative neopoints, or debt. As soon as you earn enough neopoints to bring you out of debt, your negative neopoint status goes away. It is quite obvious that the ghosts stalk you and take the neopoints you have just earned while you are not looking, seeing as they can't steal from you what isn't there.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Which are better: Kadoaties or Meowclops?
- Feline Fanatic
Dear Feline Fanatic,
Such a difficult question, but I prefer Meowclops. They are more feline, obviously, and quite fun to play with. Cyn's lovely Faerie Meowclops comes to visit me sometimes when I am swamped with questions. She zips and zooms around my desk and I'll tickle her tummy and she'll nip at my hand, and oh we have so much fun… -ahem- Well, I do hope that answers your question.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
WHICH DRESS SHOULD I WEAR TO MY AWARDS CEREMONY?
- Cyn
Dear Cyn,
Well, I'm quite partial to – wait, WHAT? Why are you asking ME this? I'm Mr. Muggles, not your personal fashion consultant! I say. I'm quite offended. -hrmph- Next time just come into my office to ask this, won't you? It's not worth using up valuable time, ink, and stamps.
Wear the black one with the color blocks. It's stunning.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Do you have a petpet?
- Petpet Protection League Inquirer
Dear Petpet Protection League Inquirer,
Is this some sort of a scam to get my insurance information?! I won't stand for it. I simply won't. CYN, you are supposed to
screen my mails!
But, to answer your question, I do not have a petpet. -Cyn passes Mr. Muggles a tissue- What the devil is this for, Cyn? For crying? I'm not going to cry! -ahem- I was just going to say that… -wibble- I'm currently looking for a new petpet, seeing as mine ran away… -sobs into tissue-
-bursts into tears- That's all the time we have for this issue! P-p-please send questions to Cyn, so that I d-don't have to answer my j-j-j-junk mail again! -runs off crying-
Proofread by Cyn 5/24/09
Gamer's Corner (Victoria)
This month's article is a reflection on the Altador Cup.
Well, it is mostly a reflection on Yooyuball.
So first off, what is Yooyuball? It is a mouse-controlled game similar to
futsal. Wait, so what is futsal? It is a game close to soccer played with five
people on the field: one goalie and 4 attack/defensemen. Sound familiar? The
game Yooyuball is commonly abbreviated YYB. So, to play YYB you use your mouse
to have your players run with the ball or pass the ball. The objective is to
get more points than the other team. It is set up as a round robin tournament
so the team with the most wins against other teams wins. Wins are determined by
an average. This gives big teams and small teams equal chances. It is suspected
that they average goals per person, but I don't know. Different teams, such as
Mystery Island, are abbreviated also. For example, Mystery Island is MI.
That is just an overview, where is your reflection? Well, most generous reader,
you know during the Altador Cup a new board category is created. This is not
the nicest board category. It is fueled by competition and attracts flamers.
Say someone says, "All Mystery Islanders come here for chat and
support!" Someone else is bound to come and say his or her team is better.
Sometimes, the team boards are fun, but like I said, it isn't fun to have
flamers running around.
Also, the Altador Cup has a history in Neo.Anxious. Last
year, we all joined Brightville, which didn't join this year. This year, people
joined different teams, which worked just as well if not better. This way we
have friendly competition on the messaging boards. Moreover, we are still
friends despite the minor rivalries.
What is with the Faerieland pact going around? Good question! That is a pact
(who would have guessed!?) saying people will join Faerieland next year. In the
history of the Altador Cup, Faerieland has never placed top five. This is
because all the youngest people join because the characters are pretty. So, all
around the AC IV boards I mentioned early, there is a buzz to give Faerieland
its chance in the spotlight.
Proofread by Cyn 6/20/09
Project Memories
Project Memories
Neo.Anxious
The Rainbow Dung Gazette
For Stormehh
Mr.Penguin
Of the thousands of people you meet, only a handful will actually influence your life."
Laurr (island_symbol)
Laugh as long as you breathe."
Steph (smittenn and mangojuices)
Live life with no regrets."
Jayme (ohspunky)
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can't let you go
Oh yeah
Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow,"
Zia (technofreak1476)
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways"
Meepit Number One (meepmeep)
Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin"
Nathalie (natje001)
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
Natalie (natanataliee)
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." "I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains." "I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." All Three By Anne Frank
Hanna (bananahanna74)
I know you will be able to find me, just follow your heart"
Esslar (esslar)
Don't tread on me"
Sanny (insanny)
Carpe Diem! = Seize The Day!"
DJ (dazara)
Don't worry, about a thing, cause every lil' thing, is gonna be alright..." Bob
Kate (nuggler_1_1)
Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise."
Quiggle (quiggle2024)
There are no excuses to success, just determination."
Claire (smshbroe)
Life is like a bowl of spaghetti, every now and then you get a meatball."
Anonymous (someone)
This is for you, Stormehh. Don't give up on Gilly. You're an amazing leader, a frustrating person to argue with, and the worst liar in the world. (:
Not in Vain: A Poem by Emily Dickinson
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain."
Cyn (ohxlover)
Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Sit by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you"
Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
Cause every little thing is gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
Cause every little thing is gonna be all right!"
Arie (partlyfiction)
The best way out is always through." (Robert Frost)
Trenn (megaeragonlover)
It's just a part of being a family; taking the good, the bad, and the ugly."
Victoria (swimlover1618)
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about dancing in the rain"
Taryn
Its hard to be modest when you're as great as I am!" ~ Muhammad Ali
Heather (hshoe91)
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"
Lilah (lt16)
Do not worry, do not fret. All is well, but not just yet."
SM (1schmidt)
You are a REALLy good kisser.....0.o" -Zach
That's like a sure sign to someone's about to be smacked." –Lori
Lori (slothobo)
It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to love the world, not to despise it, not for us to hate each other, but to be able to regard the world and ourselves and all beings with love, admiration and respect."
Mindy (sangurasu, sakuraxdoroppusu)
See, as much as you want to hold on to the bitter sore memory that someone has left this world, you are still in it. And the very act of living is a tide: at first it seems to make no difference at all, and then one day you look down and see how much pain has eroded" by Kate Fitzgerald from the book, "My Sister's Keeper".
Christine (m3rcuri)
I'm not like any of you. I'm sane." –Stormehh
Rebecca (silver_moonlight13)
You can't succeed if you don't try."
Zi (freezni)
There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move, always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I'm gonna have to lose... Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side, it's the climb."
Jay (whoajay and snuggli)
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
May (turtletottles)
Lola (harrypotter7812)
It is proven you cannot die of humiliation, but no scientist has ever made a claim saying you cannot die of love. Scientists can't lie. And they don't. Love is the strongest emotion in the box. Treat it like that."
Melcome (melcome_the_cool_cat)
Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends"
Amanda (ashoe91)
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" "Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."
Charm (chaire)
Rebecca (meeshell362)
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step"- Martin Luther King Jr.
Sam (eddycullenrox)
Whatever you do... Do it for chocolate! (and pie)
Kiyo (kiyoho)
I'm an idealist, I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way."
Eagle (eagle_flyte)
-sings- "The sun will come out, Tomorrow. So ya gotta hang on 'till Tomorrow. Come what maaayyy....." (From Annie) Also Proverbs 3:5 ^^
Jenna (silver_incandescence)
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."- Elbert Hubbard
Zach (spirit_of_myths)
The question is not who is going to let you, it is who is going to try and stop you"
Proofread by Cyn 6/25/09, coded by Rach
Soapbox (Cyn)
Astrid flounced into the library and went happily up to her aunt, the Library Faerie. Dara and Baelia looked solemnly at each other, exchanging hopeless glances. "Auntie! Have you seen Lara? She's a Baby Wocky, not very old at all… she was carrying a balloon?" As the Library Faerie pondered Astrid's question, Dara and Baelia joined them at the counter.
Hmm, thought the Library Faerie. "I do remember seeing her. I told her she had to get out because balloons were not allowed in the library. Too much of a distraction." She made a face. "She headed down the street and took a left…"
Dara and Baelia sighed, but Astrid's face lit up. "Oh, thank you so much, Auntie!" Astrid fluttered out of the library, Dara and Baelia in tow.
~~
Mara, Celia, and Penelope went in the Faerie Foods shop. The shopkeeper, a kind Earth faerie, greeted the group. "Hello, girls! What can I get for you today? How about an 89 Neopoint 'Faerie Queen Burrito?'"
Mara smiled. "No thank you," she said politely. "We're looking for my sister, a Baby Wocky. She's been missing. Have you seen her? She's wearing a blue jumper."
The Earth Faerie pursed her lips. "I did see her. I gave her a few Faerie Bubbles for free… I hope that's okay." She winced. "But please don't tell on me… my boss won't be happy with that." She shook her head.
Celia smiled enchantingly. "Where did she go?"
~"She kept saying, 'Bouncy bouncy!' as she left…"
Mara and Penelope exchanged glances. "The Furniture Shop!" The girls raced out the door, but not without a quick "thank you" directed at the shopkeeper.
~~
The two search parties met up in front of the Furniture Shop. Dara smiled weakly at her sister.
~"So," said Mara, "we meet again!" Astrid flittered over to Celia and Penelope, all atwitter at the goings on of the day.
Dara gestured to the building. "The Library Faerie sent us here."
Mara nodded. "The Earth Faerie at the Foods shop sent us here as well. I'd bet all of my Neopoints that Lara is bouncing on a bed right now."
~"With a balloon," Baelia sighed.
The combined groups entered the shop, their eyes scanning for the Bedroom Furniture department. Over the soft, flowing, department store music, they heard a small voice squealing. "Bouncy bouncy!" the voice tweeted. The girls made a beeline for the voice. Sure enough, Lara was bouncing on a four-poster bed made of Pteri down, clutching her balloon, licking the remnants of Faerie Bubbles from her mouth. "Sissies!" She giggled as she fell on her bottom and slid off the bed into her sisters' arms.
Mara and Dara were both thrilled to have Lara back safely. Dara even had a rosy color in her cheeks. She was incredibly pleased to have found her sister. "We love you, Lara," she said, cherishing this moment.
THE END
Proofread by Cyn and SM 6/26/09
Soapbox (DJ)
The aisha purrs, she yelps, she mews
The aisha rolls, she plays, she paws,
The aisha sleeps, she snores, she breathes
The aisha stretches, she plods, she leaves
Upon the grove, the aisha stops,
She sniffs, she mews, and the scent she tracks,
The aisha smells his path ahead,
The aisha, stops at nothing, the dirt path she does tread,
The aisha sees, her eyes, they spy,
The aisha, the place, she has went by,
Outside the house, the aisha stops,
She sniffs, she mews, and the scent she tracks,
The aisha's found her one true home,
The aisha, her place, where she's free to roam,
The aisha sees, the arms, the face,
The aisha knows, she loves this place.
Proofread by Cyn 6/11/09
Soapbox (Natalie)
Finding Sam
Robert was wrong about the Bottle Dealer arriving soon. It
took almost thirty minutes before they heard him amble across the road, humming
a tune Eliza didn't recognize. At first sight, the Dealer looked like a huge
Lupe whose mangled fur sorely needed some trimming. His shaggy blue fur, feral
eyes and giant fangs added to an animal-like demeanor. The glow from a few
dozen bottled faeries could be seen through the bag slung over his back.
It all managed to creep her out.
Robert was eyeing the pack greedily, muttering to himself. "There must be
around a hundred thousand neopoints in there," he gasped.
~"I guess so," Eliza said, shivering at the cold.
Robert immediately led the cart further into the clearing, greeted the Lupe
with a gruff hello, and began to haggle over prices in hushed voices. By their
volume and the mentioning of a certain Thieves Guild, Eliza wondered whether
Robert was lying when he said he wasn't in a black market.
~"The light ones are two thousand five hundred, Bob. They never come out of
Faerieland. You're lucky to get even that."
~"I need to make a living, Balthazar! You can't sell light faeries for two
thousand five hundred!"
~"I don't need to sell to you. I always get a much better deal from the Tombola
Man, anyway."
~"That's 'cause people donate to him. Why, I'll never know …"
After Robert exchanged their neopoints for about a dozen faeries, Eliza came
out of the cart.
~"Well, let's see if this works." Eliza picked out a bottle with a glowing
yellow light and slowly uncapped it. A tiny light faerie whizzed out. The yellow
Xweetok gasped in fascination at the faerie's tiny wings, then looked down at
his tunic, for the faerie was definitely and obviously a "he".
~"What are you looking at?" The faerie asked while brushing himself off.
~"Wait a second, I thought faeries were female only."
~"Of course not." said the male faerie, annoyed. "Just because the
girl faeries get the most press doesn't mean there are no guy faeries. Nu-uh.
No, sir."
~"I guess those wings do look a bit more … manly." Eliza giggled.
~"Don't mock me." The faerie huffed. "Well, I suppose I should get on
with blessing you." Raising his hands, he began to chant in a strange
language. A yellow, glowing light appeared to envelop Eliza.
~"Wait, I don't want –"
Before she could object further, the faerie cut in. "Oh, sweet, it worked!
Okay, umm … you've been given the ability "Magic Torch". You can now
magically create a light that never goes out. Fun, right?" He grinned.
~"Yes, but—"
~"I know. Now you'll be able to navigate this dank, dark, terrible excuse for a
forest."
~"Yes, but—" "Well, I'll be off now. My mom's going to kill me."
And with that, the male faerie disappeared in a cloud of yellow sparks.
~"Well, that was practically useless," Eliza said to Robert, who was no
where in sight. Groaning, she looked around the cart until she found the large
skeith, who was on the hard ground laughing his guts out.
When he calmed himself down, Eliza told him about how the faerie was absolutely
no help at all. The two began to discuss possible options.
~"I guess I could take me with you a bit farther." Robert decided. "I
have plenty of food for the journey." "Where would we go?" Eliza
asked.
~"Brightvale," Robert began to hitch up his cart. "It's not that far
from where we are, and besides, King Hagan might be able to help you find your
brother."
~"But how in the world would we get audience with the King?"
~"Oh, I have my ways, miss. Let's get going, shall we?"
Proofread by Cyn 6/21/09
So They Say (Kiyo)
LIVE AT THE NEO.ANXIOUS STUDIO: GYKIYO'S SO THEY SAAAY.
-applause-
Yes, yes, I'm brilliant. B)
And today, we are joined with the lovely Natalie!
-applause-
Watch out for flying potatoes. :D
So, please introduce yourself. ;D
My name is Natalie. Everyone has they own name for me, though, so that
makes ... around ... um ... -counts on fingers- ... five hundred bajillion nicknames.
I know. "Natalie" has even more nicknames than "Stormehh".
Quite an amazing feat. :O And according to our sources, you are 500 years
old? Is that true?
I need to do some explaining before I answer that question. You see, immortals
like myself have domains. Mine is "potatoes." Steph's domain is
"awesome." Sto's domain is "outside of reality." Loc's is
"Da Vinci's Trash Can." Likewise, Trenn, who is not a true immortal,
has no domain. Vegetables have been important to societies for thousands of years.
Therefore, there was a domain for vegetables, and thus there was a vegetable
goddess: me. When the Irish potato famine occurred, it was realized that
potatoes are also necessary to society. Thus, I was transferred to a new
domain, and have ruled it since. The first Irish Famine that affected a large
area of population occurred in 1740. Using subtraction -counts on fingers-, one
may find that have been alive as a potato goddess for around 269 years.
Otherwise, I have been alive for over ten thousand.
I do like to count on my fingers, because I have aleph two of them.
Very impressive. :O What is your favourite colour?
Knee-oh-ank-shuss. :)
What is your favourite colour and why?
Orange. Yours?
Yellow. Yours?
I already answered this question. Yellow is a fine color, though. :D
What do YOU think Project Ixi is?
Something that Sto or Steph or someone else on the AC must have come up
with. If it is a plot, it will end up hurting my brain. D; I do hope that it
has to do with the song parody competition, though. ^^ I'm currently working on
mine.
What is better; cake or cookies?
Cake, definitely.
So what would be your ultimate dream cake?
A freshly made orange cake two miles in diameter, shaped like potato. =3 And it
should have the good kind of icing that isn't too think and doesn't taste store
bought or processed.
RANDOM QUESTION TIIIIME! What is Weird Al's best parody?
I have never heard of Weird Al. x)
NEVER?! :O:O Okay, then in that case... WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE POKEMON?! XD
Pikachu, xD Yours?
I refuse to answer that question. :K Now. The famous question... MAKE A RAP
ABOUT THE SUPER FLY NA!
But pikachu's practically the main character! o.O I refuse.
Make a poem about NA then. XD
I can't rhyme. D;
OH, WAIT. -gets into Haiku-like pose- N.A is the sun that lights up the awful
shadows. Sloth shall rule you all. XD
Proofread by Cyn 6/24/09
Guildy Dirt (Trenn)
A Mafia---In N.A!
(part deux)
The next day on the deserted island was hard. With everyone
shaken up from the recent occurrences. But, the kept on going, because there
was still a little hope of getting rescued.
Jay was assigned to be a hunter. She would go around the island and find
meat for the members. And, what kind of game was on the island, you may ask,
well none other than RAINBOW ZEBRAS. :p So, Jay, spotted a pack of these
zebras, and snuck slowly up to them. Little did she know, behind her, the mafia
riding a rainbow zebra came charging towards Jay, and, before she could get out
of the way, she was trampled. D:
A few moments later, Esslar came around near where Jay was hunting. She had a
big grin on her face, seeming like today was a good day. She followed a trail
of hoof prints, since she was a hunter as well. She was looking for the herd.
Suddenly she stumbled upon Jay's hoof-printed body. Esslar gasped, and quickly
ran to inform Stormehh. Stormehh sighed, and brought everyone together to vote.
Since, they knew there were two mafia, again, they voted for two. This vote was
really close. Sanny was almost voted off. But instead, Kiyo and Bex were
accused. They were then marched up to the volcano and pushed in. ):
The next day, everyone was very confident that they had caught the mafia,
and would have no more deaths. But, just in case, Stormehh declared that
everyone would have to pair up, just in case. So, with that order, Stephanie
and Cyn were quick to pair up. As were Esslar and Loc, Steph and Zach, and
Sanny and Melcome. Cyn and Stephanie were walking along the beach. They were
assigned to look for boats that could rescue them. They were chatting, and they
were quite happy that they were getting a tan from the sun. However, they were
unaware of the danger soon approaching. Nobody knew the mafia had a plan to
counter Stormehh's 'buddy system'. The mafia snuck up on Cyn and Stephanie. Cyn
was pushed into the water by one mafia, and Stephanie was pounced on by the
other.
Later that day, Sanny and Melcome, who were sent to fish, sat in the heat of
the day on the beach. They doubted they would catch anything, as they hadn't
had much luck lately. Sanny, who had almost fallen asleep, felt a tug on his
fishing pole. He started reeling whatever it was, to shore. By the strength,
Sanny could tell it was a big fish, or somethine. Melcome, who noticed Sanny
caught something, offered to help. But, then, something tugged on Melcome's
pole, as well. When they brought the "fish" to shore. They were
stunned, they weren't fish, but were Stephanie and Cyn! They ran to tell Stormehh.
He held a voting, and he said, "It's really important that we vote
carefully this time." And, the N.Aers did. It came down to Esslar, Jayme,
and Zach. In the end, the members couldn't decide, so, all three of them were
banished. They were put into a cave, covered with a huge stone, with no food.
Esslar, in the cave, sighed, and then confessed that she was one of the mafia.
And, she finished with, "The other mafia was...". But, before she
could spill, Jayme and Zach attacked her.
The next day, Steph, who didn't have a partner anymore, went for a walk in
the forest, searching for mangoes. Above her, in the mango tree, was a dark
figure. Before she could look up, the dark figure pounced down from the tree.
Steph, though, fought back. She soon recognized the mafia. She gasped and ran
away towards Stormehh. The mafia was on her tail, but couldn't catch up. Soon,
the mafia took off in the other direction, so Stormehh wouldn't see him or her.
When Steph came to Stormehh, all she could say was, "It was Loc!! It was
Loooooc!!"
Stormehh thrashed around in his sleep. He woke up, startled, "Oh,"
he panted, "it was all a dream."
Proofread by Cyn 6/22/09
Quizzical (Victoria)
Hey!! It is Victoria from the Gamer's Corner section!! I
have picked up Quizzical in addition. I know you'd all be upset if I suddenly
stopped doing it. =D So this section is going to be riddles and quizzes. When
there are riddles (which is a little bit more common) the answer to last
month's riddle will be here, in this paragraph. The new riddle will be in the
next. Quizzes will work a bit different. The results will be in the same
article. Now! Without further boring explanation, a riddle:
There was a guy who was trying to find his way to town to get gas. He has
enough gas to go 8 miles. The people in the little house along the road tell
him that at the fork there are two paths: one is 7 miles town and the other is
20 miles to town, and that at the fork live two girls. One lies all the time
and the other never lies. He finally reaches the fork. He walks up to the house
and one girl answers the door. He doesn't know which girl it is, whether it's
the one who lies or tells the truth. He can only ask her one question. What one
question can he ask her to know which way he should go to make it to town
without running out of gas?
Proofread by Cyn 6/15/09
Neopian Advice (Melcome)
Why is Bex a Queen, and why do we bow down? ~Blushing
Bower
Dear Blushing Bower,
She is the Queen of all meepits, and she controls them. Otherwise they would be
loose throughout Neopia. We bow down to show her respect. NOW I TELL YOU A WORD
OF ADVICE! (xD) ALWAYS BOW DOWN OR YOU WILL MAKE QUEEN BEX ANGRY!
What's the point of Market Place? ~Curious Lilah
Dear Curious Lilah,
I think the point of the Market Place is to bring all of the Neopian shops
together in one place, and also to show which shops are the biggest, because
then whatever someone is looking for, they will probably find it. I hope that
answers your question.
What is the Hidden Tower? ~Almost 4 months
Dear Almost 4 months,
The Hidden Tower is in Faerie City. It is a Tower that the Faerie Queen runs.
It has expensive items that are very rare. Only a person with a 4-month-old
account can visit this place. Most people already know about it though, whether
older or younger than 4 months.
Why would anyone name a poor neopet Dungsy? ~Neopet Lover
Dear Neopet Lover,
I think that Dungsy was named Dungsy for a reason. Since rainbow dung is like
NA's mascot, they needed a neopet to also fulfill a mascot obligation. Actually
I'm not really sure. I know it has something to do with the secret of rainbow
dung. xD
Why do a lot of people worship Dr. Sloth? ~Curious minion
Dear Curious minion,
A lot of people worship Dr. Sloth for two reasons. They love his idea of taking
over the world, or they are scared of his scientific powers of ebil!!! Which
means that when he does take over, they want to be on his side.
What is -34? ~Unknown
Dear Unknown,
-34 is some plot the leaders of the guild have. I just know it! It's an evil
one too! Join the rebellion to fight its evil ways of negativeness. The
rebellion offers you its protection!
Proofread by Cyn 6/15/09
Dear Mr. Muggles
Dear Mr. Muggles,
What is the hardest avatar to get?
~Avatar Collector
Dear Avatar Collector,
While this is a quite pressing question, the prices of items fluctuate daily. My answer would be any item avatar costing over one million Neopoints. However, if games are not your strength, then obviously game avatars would be the hardest to get. My answer stays firm at any expensive item avatar.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Why is Trenn a Weirdo?
~Curious Guild Member
Dear Curious Guild Member,
My personal opinion on Trenn is that she is not a Weirdo and I will neither refer to her as such, nor answer any questions regarding her in that manner. NEXT!
Dear Mr. Muggles,
Do you feel you are losing your wit??
~Guildy Dirt Reporter
Dear Guildy Dirt Reporter,
HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! I am not allowing the presses! CYN! ESCORT THIS…
SCUM OUT OF MY OFFICE!
Dear Mr. Muggles,
What is your favorite Neopets game?
~Game Fanatic
Dear Game Fanatic,
I enjoy a nice round of Gormball often enough. I'm quite a player, you know!
Dear Mr. Muggles,
If you could be painted any color, what would it be?
~Jacko
Dear Jacko,
Orange is my favorite color. As I stated in a previous issue of
Dear Mr. Muggles, I have Cyn tie all of my letters with orange ribbons. I would like to be an Orange Grundo, so that I could better serve The Honorable and Great Dr. Sloth with my wit, cynicism, and intelligence.
Dear Mr. Muggles,
How many books have you read?
~Booktastic
Dear Booktastic,
I have read 5,623 books. However, there are a few holes in my collection. I am missing the World Books in Arabic, Korean, and a few dialects of Zimbabwe.
Proofread by Cyn 6/25/09
