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This is a strange dream.


That's the first thought that hits you. Everything is so clear, and for the first time ever in a dream, you have to pinch yourself to make sure it's just a dream.

Well, that hurt. But it's a dream anyway, so it doesn't matter. A very strange dream, but still just a dream.

Welcome to my cinema.

You suddenly notice that a little girl is sitting by your feet, with her back against your knees.

That settles it. This has to be a dream. If it was real you'd noticed her right away.

You take a step back, not wanting to be so close to this stranger.

I've never met you in my dreams before. She says. Then she gets to her feet, and walks away on thin legs.

She stops in front a -blocked- You wait for her to say something, but she just stands there, looking out at the world on the other side of the glass. You can see that the sky outside is dark and covered with stars, but nothing more.

Umm…Aren't you going to uh… Do anything? You ask politely.

It is a dream after all.

I was thinking about asking you the same question. She answers, looking a bit embarrassed.

But I was afraid you'd find it impolite. She adds, looking even more embarrassed. Her eyebrows make her seem so sad, and you can't help but feel sorry for her. For what, you don't know.

Well. This is just a dream. So it doesn't matter if you are impolite. You could even call me things, and it wouldn't matter. You explain. She looks so sad and fragile. Poor girl.

She smiles, which strangely enough make her seem even more unhappy..

So I could call you a lousy beetle and you wouldn't mind?'

You wouldn't mind if anyone called you that in the real world either. When did beetle become a bad word? But you don't want to hurt her feelings.

I wouldn't mind at all.

She smiles again, and then she looks away.

Well. Aren't you going to do anything then? She asks.

No..I don't think so. You're the one who's supposed to do something. Not I.

She looks puzzled.

That's a change. In my dreams, it's my mind that entertains me. Not the other way around.

Her dream?

I don't how to entertain you. She says, lifting her arms while shrugging.

What would you like me to do?

You could tell me about yourself. You answer.

Ok.

She smiles, showing a collection of perfectly white teeth. The kind of teeth you'd see in a commercial for toothpaste. The kind of teeth you wouldn't expect to see on a normal person.

Well. It's just a dream after all.

Then the world starts twisting.

Or… Not twisting. It seems to be turning into smoke. Everything goes blurry. The only thing you can see properly is the girl.

It feels like the whole room is turning around, but you can still feel the floor under your feet. The room is turning faster and faster, like a tumble drier. Soon you can't see anything clearly; everything is just a blur of colours, as you're spinning round and round. The only thing you can see is the girl, smiling at you, with her commercial white teeth. Faster, faster. Until the world is just a colour.

Then you're suddenly sitting in a red , velvet chair. The spinning has stopped, and the world is not just a colour anymore. There's a row of similar chairs to your left and right. And when you turn around you can see that there's and endless row of chairs behind you too. In front of the rows of chairs, there's a big screen. The girl is filling the whole thing. She's standing outside. It's raining, and big, black umbrella is hovering above her head. For a while, the sound of tiny drops of water is the only sound you can hear. Then the camera zooms in on the girls face. She looks as sad as before.



Welcome to the cinema of my mind.

Then she starts to sing.





I'm not what I look like. It's true. I'm not a scared little girl. I'm not an indecisive little girl. I'm not weak.
I'm a big, ferocious dragon. I'm a beautiful, graceful dragon.
And my name is not Mullie
It's MuRi
To me I am MuRi. Though to other people I'm known as
Muille Rinley
But's that's not my name. It's just my parents name for me. Not My name Ok?


















I like lots of different things, and there are also a lot of things I don't like. There are even some things that I both like and dislike. Seagulls for example. I like them when they float over the glittering sea, like tiny, white napkins caught in the wind. If seagulls were always like this, just peaceful stars exploring the sky, they would've been cool. The only problem is that they aren't always like this.

Have you ever seen what happens when a seagull is so lucky to find a fish head? The very moment he picks it up, the ----- starts. In seconds he'll be covered in furious brothers, all screaming like dying cats, all trying to get the head. The worst part is that they usually end up getting nothing. The fish head will in the end fall in the water, and sink to the bottom were no seagull can reach it.

Seagulls can be some really greedy, violent little creatures at times. It's at these times that I don't like them.

As I've already mentioned, there are many things I like and dislike. But I think I'll have to rephrase that sentence. I like or dislike everything. All the objects in the world, all the animals and all the tiny little things you never think about, are divided into two groups. The things I like, and the things I don't like.

The point is, that if I were to sum up absolutely everything I like and dislike, we'd end up with an endless list of things. And since I don't like to make endless lists, I'm going to write just a few of the things I like and dislike.





I felt that I needed another list. A list of the things that I don't love enough to put on the 'likes' list. They're just tint things that I find cool, cute special or pretty. Things that I might feel like writing a poem about, or paint on a cup. Please welcome…



Jellyfish
Mirrors
Pearls







You can't put a golfball on a stick and claim that it is a Lollipop.

But you can pretend that it is.
The first thing you should know about MuRi, is that she is Muillie. And Muillie is MuRi.

Confusing?

I'm easily frightened, and I'm afraid of…Almost everything. Going outside, meeting strangers… Things like ghosts and supernatural beings don't scare me at all. Only real things. The world is a dark and unfriendly place. That's what mother says. It's full of selfish people.

It's when the dark and scary thoughts start crawling in my head, that I imagine myself as something else. Something strong and confident, and for me, this something has the form of a dragon. MuRi.

When I'm MuRi, I'm much stronger than I am when I'm just Muillie. My self-confidence grows, and I'm less scared. Imagining me as MuRi is my way of keeping the fright away.

The name MuRi is by the way a version of my name, Muillie Rinley.

MU illie

RI nley.

I got the idea for MuRI when I was reading a book about totemism, that mother had given me for my seventh birthday. A totem is an animal or other naturalistic figure that spiritually represents a person. After reading it, I thought that it would've been nice to have an animal that spiritually represented me. I would've felt much safer if I'd known that a being, even if it was just spiritual, watched over me.

I told mother about it, and she thought it was a nice idea.

Though I didn't have a clue what my totem should be. She said that I could choose a badger as my totem. She told me they were keepers of stories, and sees beneath the surface of everything, just like me.



I didn't like this suggestion. I didn't like to be compared to a badger either. But it was typical mother to come up with such a stupid suggestion.

That night, I was irritated because I couldn't figure out what my totem should be. I'd spent hours reading about different animals, but none of them were right. I don't know what I'd expected, that my totem would suddenly materialize and shout

Here I am! Your totem!'?

My head was tired from all the reading, and fell asleep the moment I closed my eyes.

That night, I dreamt about MuRi.



Two special things happened during this dream.

First: I dreamt about MuRI

Second: I was snatched up in the beak of a gigantic bird.

Yes, a gigantic bird. That's how it all started, actually. I was walking through a meadow, or more precisely, I was floating through it. I had wings, you see. Big, beautiful butterfly wings that glimmered sparkled and shimmered in a thousand different colours.

But of course, pair of wings as beautiful as mine was bound to attract attention.

I didn't even notice the bird. The only thing I noticed, was that the air got darker, but I thought it was just a cloud blocking the sun.

The next moment I was trapped inside the beak of an enormous bird.

It sure was a gigantic beak. Being inside it wasn't like being trapped inside a car. It wasn't like being trapped inside a house either. The beak was probably ten times bigger than a house. It was enormous, and it was as dark as night in there.

Though, at that moment I wasn't afraid. I was just inside a beak. Nothing more. I was actually quite relaxed, and happy that my wings were Ok. Then the fright started crawling out of the darkness.

Shadows that made the dark inside the beak seem like grey came stumbling against me from every direction. They squeaked and whispered and squealed and whistled as they were heading towards me.

I was so afraid that it felt like I'd swallowed a bucket of black maggots, and my veins were filled with nitrogen.I was shivering, and all the strength went out of my limbs. I couldn't move.

But I didn't fear for my own life. I feared for my wings. My wings. My beautiful precious wings. That's what they wanted. They'd grab me and take my wings. Then they'd throw me away like a chocolate paper. I'd be left alone, wingless. Like a butterfly that's bee degraded to a maggot.

The horrors were getting closer every second. I was crying and yelling, but no sound came. I tried to run, but as most people know, when you want to run away from something in a dream, your feet are like glued to the ground.

Then the second special thing in my dream happened.

It felt like I exploded from the inside.A tiny bubble of warmth that's been sleeping inside me had burst, and light filed me from the soles of my feet to the top of my head. I was filled with strength and joy. My wings had become a part of me. Before they'd only been something I carried outside myself. Now, they were a part of me.

As I turned to face the hoorors, I noticed that my wings weren't the only thing that'd changed. My body was different. I wasn't Muillie the little girl. I was a dragon. An enormous, beautiful dragon.

Soon I filled the whole cave, and I was still growing. When my head touched the roof of the beak, and the horrors scratched pitiable at my feet, the bird opened its beak. Outside, the sky was as blue as always. I spread my wings, and flew out.








After this strangely entertaining monologue, the girl disappears.The screen goes all black, and some seconds later a strange insects appears. It seems to be wearing a hat, and it's staring happily at his audience.
It coughs, then starts to speak, in a deep voice:




Hi there ladybirds! My name is Beetle! I'm a creature that Muille created when she was very tiny. As you can see, I'm a quite abnormal little beetle, and this is my story:

Being a rather angry little girl at times, Muilie needed a way to express her feelings. Unfortunately, little Muillie simply didn't know any words that was good enough to express them. Therefore, she had to come up with her own swearwords.
She had to search her vocabulary for words that seemed bad enough, and ended up with a very beautiful word indeed. It was the word Beetle. And that was how I was born. The Beetle. First I was just a swearword, later an adjective, and then an imaginary 'person' to blame when something went wrong.
For example:
You stupid Beetle!" Or This food taste like Beetle" , and The Beetle did it!"



You probably wonder why the Beetle is telling you all this. Why doesn't Muillie herself talk about her own aquintances?

Well, the truth is that Muillie finds it a bit embarrassing to talk about her friends. She's afraid that she might say something wrong, and make them angry.
Therefore, she's given me, the Beetle this glorious task.

Let the Beetle begin!





I don't know how is shall explain exactly what the wolf is. The first thing is that just like the fact that I'm not a Beetle; the wolf is not a wolf. The wolf is just what I call it, the thing that seems to follow Muillie like an evil shadow. Have you ever heard about anxiety? Dread? Fear? The wolf is a cross-breed between these three emotions. The wolf is what makes Muillie frightened of everything, and it's the thing that makes her feel tiny and weak. The wolf doesn't have a body. It hides deep inside the hearts of all humans, even Muillie. When fed with the right emotions, it grows, until it's strong enough to take control.






Some observant people might have noticed the rather unusual necklace that Muri carries. A collection of two animal skulls + a fish skeleton? This is not some strange attempt to shock. It's just the remnants after her three, beloved pets. CatRat, Ern Die Wunderfisch and voodoocrow.



I don't want to tell you too much about these guys. All I can say is that they're Muirin's lucky charms, and when she has problems she imagines asking them for help. Then they have conversations in her head and in the end they usually solve the problem.Funfun.

Their name says a bit about them though. CatRat is a cat looking…creature. Ern Die Wunderfisch is a truly special little fish and voodoocrow has been dead as long as I've known him.

Ida is going to include their stories in the comic about MuRi. That's why I don't want to tell you too much about them. They're a secret. Husssh..










MuRi's parents are the kind of people that's completely convinced that their way of living is the way people should live. MuRi doesn't like this. They irritate her. Not in a 'They're like Soo old and boring –teenage-ish kind of way though. It actually surprises me that MuRi has formed such an opinion about them. Usually, she likes every person she meets. Not because they're kind, or cool, or anything like that. It's just that she doesn't trust herself in judging other people. Though if someone else that she respects, like her parents had said that someone was rude, she'd suddenly change her opinion about that person from 'she's ok' to 'She's rude'. Just because that's what her parents think, and they know better than her who's rude and who's not.

Personally, I don't like MuRi's parents much. It's their fault that MuRi has to imagine beings like me to not feel too lonely. And beetween us: Their totems are a fat, yellow snail and a tiny, creaky woodluse. The auras surrounding them are grey as a donkey's skin.

You see, the reason why MuRi is lonely, is because she's having problems getting friends. And the reason to why she doesn't get any friends is, her parents: First: To make sure that she didn't get any bad influence from other children; her parents decided to home school her. You don't get many school friends at school when you're school is at home.

Second: MuRi isn't the only one who doesn't like the parents' opinions of how to 'live right'. Other parents find these special views strange. And since it's a part of our…excuse me, humans nature to avoid things that are strange and unfamiliar, they don't like MuRi's parents. Their children have adopted their views, and then MuRi doesn't get any neighborhood-friends either.





Though, I feel bad for her parents sometimes. The only positive thing I can say about them is that they at least try to be good parents. It's just that they aren't. They're good people. Kind and caring. But they're not good parents.

There might be reasons for why they are like they are. But as I've already said, I'm not in their heads. Though I do think there might be something… But I'm just a beetle. What do I know? Sometimes to be a beetle is really beetle.


Without a warning, the beetle disappears. Just like the girl, Muillie, did before it. The screen goes black again. The only sound you can hear, is your own breathing.

Do you like my show? Quickly, you turn around in you chair. The girl is sitting right behind you, holding a big box of popcorn.

You.. Want some? She asks shyly, and hands you the box.

Of course.Thanks! You answer as she push the box into you hands. You take a handful, then you hand it over to Mullie again.

)Or.. You would have, if it wasn't for the fatc that Muillie had disappeared again

She's disappeared again. Or more precicesly, she has moved. Now she's covering the screen once more

Now, dear audience, I'm going to tell you about some of my experiences here in the cinema of my mind. She looks proud when she says the word 'cinema of my mind'. It's probably a word she's invented herself, though it sounds quite silly after your opinion.

Enjoy your popcorn by the way.


When the dream starts, I'm sitting on the ground, leaning against a white wall. In front of me, a carpet of green grass is stretched as far as I can see. The sun is shining and it looks like its summer. There are flowers everywhere, and the grass is summer green. Yet, it's cold as if it was late autumn. My nose is cold, and the air is fresh and sharp.

Suddenly, animals start crawling out of nowhere. Mice, Squirrels, foxes and badgers. They're settling by my hands, crawling at my head and climbing up my back. At first, I'm scared, but then a strange, warm feeling of peace covers me, warming my skin like sunlight. Suddenly the autumn has turned to summer. I'm not afraid anymore. I realize that the animals love me. They're not scared of me at all. They want to be near me.


I tiny hazel dormouse has cuddled itself on the inside of my foot, between the heel and my toes. I can feel its tiny heart beating against my skin, and the warm feeling covers me again.

I look up at the sky. It's still as blue as before, but darker. I reach my hands out as if to touch the sun. Though, I know that isn't possible.

To my surprise, there's more than air against my fingertips s I reach for the sun. Astonished, I look closer, and I can see that my touch is making tiny circles in the sky. Like the rings that appear when you drop a stone in a pond. I stand up, and feel the touch of a light cloth against my head. It's a curtain.

I reach out my hand again, and squeeze the curtain gently between my thumb and index finger. The texture isn't like anything I've felt before. It's so smooth, like the sole of a baby's foot. I can't feel the fibers at all, and it's so thin. Like paper. No. Paper is like a thick slice of bread compared to this. The cloth is probably ten times thinner than paper. I'm surprised that it doesn't crack at my touch.

All the animals have gathered by my feet. Their small, black eyes are as deep as the universe, and their whiskers are vibrating faintly. They're encouraging me. I inhale deeply, before I turn to the cloth again. Then I pull the cloth aside, to reveal the truth behind.



After finishing her story she pause.

It wasn't an especially exciting story, yet you find it, just as the monlogue, strangely entertaining.

Muillie is still covering the screen, but her expression has changed. She doesn't look sad in a cute way anymore. She looks sad in a... Sad way.
Here's a dream I found a bit... Depressing. It's about someone I don't known... And...Um... Here it is. She's not great speaker, you think to yourself. Though, the moment you've finished the tought, you regret it. The poor little girl looks so unconfident as it is.



Once I dreamt that you were gone. They told me you'd jumped in front of a train. They told me that I shouldn't worry. The sandwich survived the accident.
The moment they told me I wished I'd never met you. Then you'd never have been lost.
The moment I woke up, I missed you, and I cried, because you were gone. Then I realized that my wish had been granted. I'd never known you. Now I wish the dream was true, because to have known someone like you. Once. That is better than to never have known you at all.



Umm...and The girl murmurs as her pale cheeks turn pink

I like to draw and paint. Would you like to see some of the pictures I've drawn of MuRi?

I'd love to see them. You reply. Muillie smiles, and picks up a pile of pictures.




































































Well...That was all. i don't know what to say..I feel like I've told you all the things there are to say about me... She says, and looks embarrased

I'm sorry, but the show is over, I'm afraid. it'll soon be morning, and I have to wake up and eat my breakfast.

Well.. Watch out for the wolves. They can be very unpleasant to meet, I've heard.

You're never completely safe out there, though some places are probably safer than others.



When she has finished the senetence, something strange happens. The backgorund on the screen change, but Muillie doesn't. Suddenly she's standing inside the first room, instead of outside. She walks to the window, then goes straight through the glass.

mhm?

You open your eyes.

There's a completely normal, white ceiling above you. You're lying in you own bed. In your own room. It's morning.

What a strange dream You murmur to yourself, as you try to remember what it was about. You have to give up though. Most of the dream is forgotten. The only thing you remember, is that it was quite strange. Nothing more.

Annoyed that you can't remember the dream, you get on your feet.

Now I wish that the dream was true, because to have known someone like you. Once. That is better than to never have known you at all. You sing, as you try to rub the sleepiness out of your eyes.

Then you start wondering were you've heard that sentece before.



The moment they told me, I wished I'd never met you. Then you'd never have been lost...


Be careful.


MuRi

The cinema of our minds

Thanks to Sunnyneo for coding help!



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