L' as in 'Laserating
O' as in 'Obliterating
B' as in 'Disembowling
O' as in......uh.....well I guess I could use 'Obliterating' twice!
Yeah. Theres mesquishin thatflyboy into Guacomole! Ive had Mosquitos harder to hit than him! Apparently hes gotta thing for that 'Lois' babe. I was there to collect a bounty on a guy named Zeek & the blue bug got in my way. Pesky too.
Im the last Czarnian. Why am I the last? Funny story. I created a Fleash-Eating-Virus for a science project & unleashed it on theat 'peace-lovin-stink-hole'. Gave myself an 'A'. Of course all that happened back when I was just a brat. A lots happened since then. I even got my own game.
Took down this guy named Lou, was in the process of draggin his carcus back with me to collect my bounty & wouldntch'ya know it, dweb wasnt dead yet! Next thing I knew Im laying on the ground smelling something like burnt bacon! Come to realize ol Lou blew my head off! Bad day. After I died I went to Heaven. Man, did somebody make a mistake! I grabbed God by the beard an told em hed better get me back or I'll rip the wings off his Angels feather by feather! Of course the Main Man ALWAYS bags his bounty.
Another time the Easter bunny hired me to bring down Santa Clause. Said it was too big of a holiday to compete with. Feetals Gizz! When I got there it looked like a midget fairy convention! Seein as how it was the holidays I decided to celebrate it with my own kind of cheer.
Hi ho hi ho off to work I go!
I rip off heads shoot em dead!
I blow their guts out through their butts!
Hi ho hi ho! Hahahawhawhawhaw!
By the time I was done with the place there was nothin left but green & RED elfs everywhere! Was rather decoritive if I do say so myself!Seasons Greetins Fats! 3 guesses what you get this year! Thats right boys n girls, a new Machetti! No wait. Thats so wrong. I dont know what I was thinkin. A PAIR of Mechettis! Christmas of o lifetime! Yeah I never did like ol Nick. He never gave me nothin!
Well it been nice rem-o-nissin with ya but now Im headin out fer a brewski & a babe or two!
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