Why is it that I never feel that I belong?
That I'm so different? It's because I am.
Where are the freaky glowy eyes, the bioluminescence that lights up the other creatures that live here? The pitch blackness is my home; my fire is the only thing that lights my way. This home, these cool waters, black as pitch, somehow doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel like it's where I belong.
I form a bubble. A small bubble of light, and I look down at myself. I have paws, unlike the other creatures. None of them have anything like them. I have a long, sleek tail. My bubbles bring me light, and I am blind without them. Some creatures here have their own lights, as if electricity flows through their veins, while I have to form my own source of light.
I always sensed from my parents that I was different. But what did I remember of my parents? They sent me away when I was young enough to fend for myself, meaning I was old enough to find my own food. My memory of them is a hazy, foggy dream. All I remember that I wasn't even the same as them. They're the same as all the other creatures that live down here. If I knew where here even was. Each day is uneventful, blank. No fears except the jelly fish that light up as they pass by.
I've never felt that I belonged. I sometimes wonder, that maybe I'm not from here. That maybe I came from somewhere else....



Lamira swam blindly in the deep waters. Lalla Amira. That's what she named herself. Lamira as a nickname. Not that there was anyone here to call her by either of those names. No one here spoke, not even her parents to her as a child. She lived a life of stony silence. No one here seemed to mind, but Lamira found it odd. She hated this silence, and though speech seemed non-existent in this never-ending darkness, it seemed to Lamira as something that should be familiar to her, even though she didn't know how to speak, or even how it sounded.
This world never felt right for Lamira, and she didn't know why. Though she had lived here all her life, it never felt familiar. Sometimes, Lamira wondered what her parents would tell her if they could communicate. Would they tell her why she was so different? But Lamira never could figure out how to communicate with her parents or anyone around here.
She just felt empty loneliness.
Lamira was fed up with this life. One day (or was it night? It was impossible to tell) Lamira decided she was going to go where she'd never gone before. Up.


Using all her power, Lamira pushed up. She was moving slowly, but somewhere. She spent several hours, pushing with her paws and long tail upwards. Faint light twinkled down from much further up. She continued swimming further and further up, trying to reach that light. Every so often, she would look down at the darkness below. Pushing hard, she continued upwards, determined.
Several days passed. The pressure had lessened further up, and it felt like a heavy weight had come off her body, and the water was warmer. Lamira noticed many new creatures swim by. Some were tiny, smaller than her paws. Some were bigger than Lamira could've imagined a sea creature to be. They too, looked at her oddly. But here she felt more comfortable. Light poured down from above, whatever above was, and there was sound! Lamira gasped in shock as she heard squeals and squeaks from sea creatures communicating with one another. Lamira had never heard sound in her life.
She smiled with glee as she watched all these new creatures dance in the light. She looked searchingly at every creature that passed by. None looked like the creatures she recognized from her old home, but none looked anything like her.
As she watched all these creatures and took in the wonderful colours of them and the light that reflected of their scales, Lamira decided she liked it here.


Each day, Lamira speculated the other creatures carefully, watching what each one ate. Her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten for days. She had no idea what was edible.There wasn't even any of the food she used to eat. One of the particularly large creatures passed by, and gulped up a school of very very tiny fish. Lamira now knew she had nothing to fear from these large creatures, for these tiny animals seemed to be all they ate. She had learned to fear the large creatures that had a large fin on their backs. They seemed to eat bigger prey, and she noticed the sharp teeth that filled its mouth. It was clear to Lamira that these creatures were dangerous.
Lamira decided she would taste the plants and small creatures that some of the animals ate. She swam around, searching for some little animals she could eat. She quickly found a large school swim by, and she swam after them to gulp some up. They swam away hastily and Lamira ended up with an empty mouth and an empty stomach. She found some kelp and nibbled on it. It wasn't very tasty, but there was enough of it to fill her up, and she settled for that. When she finished, she smiled to herself. She was proud of how quickly she was adapting.



Each day, Lamira swam to a new place. She wanted to find out more about this part of the ocean, to see more. In some areas, she found new creatures, but many of them she had seen earlier too. She noticed that many of these creatures never went higher to where the light source was. Some big, sleek, scale less creatures occasionally leapt out in that direction, then dove back. Lamira had no idea what was up there, and why only some of the creatures did this. She decided to give it a try and swam to the surface. She gasped as she broke the surface. It was air. That's what was up here! She gasped for a moment, but realized she could breathe! She dog paddled in that spot for a while, waiting to see if she happened to have any trouble. She floated there for a while, all the while with no problem breathing.
Lamira was surprised. All the creatures who had come up had come up only for a second. Why was that she could stay out here for so long without a problem?

Lamira continued to swim further and further on, each day exploring the new area she reached. When she reached a warmer area of water, she gasped. An animal, very similar to her in fact, glided by her quickly. But then the creature stopped, and spun around. It did a double take and stared at Lamira, surprised. Suddenly, Lamira heard a voice in her mind.
Lalla Amira? Could it really be? Lamira looked around curiously, wondering who it could possibly be. She turned around, and saw that familiar looking creature smiling at her. She heard another voice. Over here. It's me. The creature was still looking at her.
Huh? Lamira wondered.
Hi. It's me. I'm speaking to you telepathically. The creature looked at Lamira, never taking its eyes off her. Are you Lalla Amira? They asked.
A million questions ran through Lamira's mind. The stranger heard all of them and answered.
I'm Jaeia. I know you because I'm very good friends with your mother and father. You are one of us. We thought you were gone, died long ago. I have a lot to explain. Would you like to go to the surface with me, and I'll tell you everything? She asked. Lamira nodded. They swam towards the sunlight and broke through the water's surface.
How can you talk to me like that? And how can I talk to you? Lamira asked impatiently.
Calm down. Calm down. Be patient, young one. Let me start from the beginning." Jaeia spoke. "You are one of us. We are Aishas that live underwater. We can swim, but breath perfectly outside of water. But none of us have legs like you do. Your parents were the last ones to have those. The rest of us evolved over the years, and formed fins for life underwater. We are able to communicate through telepathy, through our minds. That way we can speak without getting water in our mouths.
But what do you mean? My parents looked nothing like you or me! Lamira thought.
My dear,we lost you when you were very, very young. We thought you had been killed or eaten.You fell into the dark depths of the sea, and no one ever saw you again. I assume some creature may have found you and raised you there. But whoever they were I can assure you they were not your true parents. I'm sorry to drop it so hard on you so suddenly. I'm sure you must be very upset.
But Lamira wasn't upset. She had finally found the reason that the dark place she was raised in was not truly her home. Lamira was extremely upset. Her parents were alive! And now she could ask them all the things she'd wanted to know. All the things she missed all her life. She didn't even remember them, not even the faintest picture. Jaeia watched Lamira as she processed this information.
Tell me dear, do you know how to talk? Oh, of course not, you never learned. But clearly you caught many of the words you heard your parents speak, because you think them all to me. I'll just have to teach you how you get those words out of your throat. But we'll worry about that later, won't we? I'm sure there's lots more you've got to know. Living in that black pitch your whole life, couldn't have been pleasant." Jaeia shook her head as they bobbed in the water. "How did you end up here anyway?" She asked. Lamira ran the whole story through her mind, from the moment she left her "parents" to the moment she met Jaeia.
Wow. You're very brave. It must be very odd to see a whole new world you never knew existed, huh?" Lamira nodded. Jaeia told her everything she thought she should know. About the areas of the sea, the predators and the prey, why the sky changed as the weather did, and the tastiest kelp and seaweed. "Lalla Amira, you must tell me. How did you know your name?" Jaeia asked curiously.
I don't know. I named myself. My parents never spoke, and they didn't give me a name. I chose Lalla Amira because it just came to mind, and I liked it... Lamira felt very confused.
Well, like the words you know, your name must've stuck in your mind without you realizing it. How interesting..." Jaeia said. "Lalla Amira, would you like to come by to our colony, and see where you came from? Your parents will be overjoyed!" Lamira nodded and they both dove underwater. Lamira followed Jaeia until they reached it.
Home.

Lamira's jaw dropped when she saw them. Her parents. Jaeia rushed over to them.
Wait here. I want to go tell them. Jaeia thought to Lamira, smiling. Inside, Lamira was bursting with both excitement and nervousness. She couldn't wait to meet them, but she didn't remember them. How was she supposed to act? She watched Jaeia as she spoke excitedly to her parents. Then, a sudden thought came to Lamira. What if she shouldn't trust this stranger? What if they were really a different species, and they really planned on eating her? Should she run away? A million thoughts rushed through her mind. Her parents turned, and swam over to Lamira, smiling excitedly. Lamira's heart beat unbearably fast. Her mother came over to her.
Don't worry. We won't eat you. She thought to her. Lamira flinched as she remembered they could read her thoughts. We won't hurt you Lalla Amira, it's us. Her mother told her soothingly. See? Her father walked over, and showed her the pendant that dangled by his chest. He too had a sand dollar, just like the one she had.
We gave that to you. You use it to make bubbles, right? Her father asked. Lamira nodded in reply.
Light bubbles. She told him.
The pendant we gave you as a baby lets you do that. Lamira nodded again.
Wow. I'm so happy to hear that. You didn't learn before we lost you. It must have been very useful down in the dark. Her mother replied. Why don't you come and we'll show you around? Jaeia told us a summary of what happened to you. Maybe you can tell us the full story. Her mother smiled, and Lamira smiled back.
So that's what she did. She told them the whole story. Every last bit.


Several years passed. Lamira grew bored of the life she lived with her parents. She craved new places. She craved adventure. She didn't love her parents as much as she thought she would.
They were loving, and protective, but life with them was bland. She began to think that maybe, her life was never supposed to be this way. Memories of her journey here came to her mind every so often, and she longed for that feeling of going somewhere new.
Lamira left. Laya, her Walein, came along with her.

To Lamira, exploring was more.
She never returned home. She was lost, which was just what she wanted to be.